TakeruK

The school's counseling center / mental health support system is not just for people directly suffering from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. At least at my school, they also are there to support those who work with and/or may be affected by people such as Person A as well. In my opinion, I think if you want to do anything further to help Person A, you should definitely go talk to the counseling center and seek their expert advice. Even if you two are not friends and given your history, it's not realistic that you will be this person's support system, it still sounds like you are not sure what to do next and also you might be in a unsafe or uncomfortable situation. Since you are asking for help/advice, I would recommend that you talk to the experts at your school who are probably much better equipped to help you determine what to do next than us random people on the internet! Edit: To clarify, I am saying that if you want to talk to anyone at all about this, either because you are concerned for Person A or because you are concerned for yourself, I think the best people to talk to are your campus counseling center / mental health support center. If you want to stay out of it completely, that is probably fine too since it sounds like they have already started talking to the mental health center. My suggestion to go to the health center is not to "report" Person A, but to get help for yourself if you are concerned about what to do next. Their answer might be nothing at all, but my point is that if anyone knows, it would be them!

I haven't done it since I left my MSc school since my PhD school does not have a recreational fencing club (their NCAA club is for NCAA-eligible student athletes only and that does not apply to me). It's too bad that NCAA doesn't really allow graduate students to play on varsity teams but luckily for you, Ontario schools generally compete in the OUA which does not have strict eligibility rules like the NCAA. My fencing practices were something like 5:30 to 7:30pm on 3 weeknights plus an afternoon timeslot on a Saturday. So yes they were at a fixed time every week, with a few exceptions. I feel that this commitment would have been very hard during semesters where I had a lot of work. It's not that I would not have been able to make time, but because I probably would have chosen something that was less mentally demanding if I had to do a lot more work in terms of coursework and teaching! Also I strongly agree with rising_star that if you enjoy the activity and especially the people, it can make a huge difference in whether or not you are motivated to make time for something or just make up excuses!

Definitely agree with the above. In fact, now that you are in grad school, you should start thinking about setting up your own website with your information etc. for other academics to look you up. I know that when I want to find out about someone's work in my field, the first thing I do is google their name + physics (or astronomy or planetary science) and sometimes also their current institution if I know it.

In Canada, MSc programs are basically the first 2 years of a PhD program (you do a 3-4 year PhD after a 2 year MSc), so my program was fully funded. I would not have gone to grad school if I had to take out a loan or dig into my (limited) savings. I paid for college myself through living at home and working in the summers (and one year of full time research work) since my parents don't have a lot either (they left their home country after a war and immigrated to Canada with nothing).

Glad that it is working out and thanks for coming back with an update that might help others in the future

At my MSc program, in my last semester (no TAing, no courses), I did some fencing with the recreational group associated with the varsity team. It took 8-10 hours per week, but all of it was after 5pm (the end of my workday) so it didn't really eat up too much work time. In order for it to work out, I had to change a lot of how I spent my free time though. I don't think 2 hours a week at night is going to be that bad that at all. If it helps, the ratio of work:personal:sleep is almost 1:1:1, plus or minus 10%.

I would agree with this advice. I am not sure what kind of jobs you mean (academic or not etc.) but I think in both cases, once you are finished with your undergraduate degree, there really is no point in listing things like "Dean's Honour List" or equivalent. I would keep the focus of the resume/CV strictly to what employable skills and work experience you have to offer. The only time I would put these items on the CV is for graduate school applications, because grad schools are interested in your experience and accomplishments as a student as well as a worker in your field.

I think the number of adults in modern day North America that do not know how to drive is pretty low, so yes, I would think it is a bit strange if I met a professor (or anyone over 18 really) that does not know how to drive. However, I don't think it's very strange for someone who knows how to drive to choose to take the bus or bike instead of driving. I know plenty of professors at all of my schools who choose bus or bike as their main mode of transportation. Many of them do it for environmental reasons, some do it to save money on car ownership/usage and others use the 30 minute bike ride each way as a way to balance out the hours and hours of sitting at a desk all day. I also don't think it's that strange to see your professor in the grocery store or know where they live! Like others said, many of them will have BBQs or other meals with their research group (and in some cases, for the whole department) at their home. Especially at the graduate school level, professors are definitely just other adults that we interact with. When it comes to work, sure they are more experienced and have authority but other than that, they are humans with their own interests and lives too, of course!

Both now as a PhD student and also when I was a MSc student. I should note that in certain limited times of the year, I do work a bit more, such as the week before a conference deadline or something. So I would say that I probably work on average 50 hours per week, not exactly 50 hours each week. I take advantage of the flexible schedule we have (e.g. going to touristy places on weekdays to avoid crowds, scheduling dentists/doctors on weekdays) but then I "repay" it by working more later that week or in another week. Similarly, I work extra hard before a conference but will probably take a few days off afterwards to recover (or to spend it traveling in the conference location).

I definitely have more free time in graduate programs than undergraduate programs. In undergrad, I felt like I had to always work hard to prove myself and be the best. I treat grad school more like a job, I put in the time I'm willing to work (50 ish hours per week) and that's that. I could work longer and be "better" but I have other desires and goals in my life not related to academia so once I feel like I have worked enough, I stop. I feel that almost all of my stress/pressure is actually self-imposed (for me anyways, because I think I have good supervisors) so the thing I had to work on the most was actually turning off the "undergrad mindset" in me that I had to work more more more.

This might just be our different experiences leading to subjective opinions/interpretations of the actions of others. To me, a statement like "I cannot accept that as an answer" is almost always direct and hostile, not just direct. I was going to include an example in my last post to clarify what I meant but I thought it would make my long post even longer. But here it is: let's say Persons A and B are both graduate students and Person A is trying to set up a seminar series where people in the department give talks about their research. Person B, for some reason, does not want to do this and uses passive aggression in the form of avoiding Person A, procrastinating, equivocating etc. in order to avoid getting scheduled for a talk slot. Eventually, Person A gets frustrated and corners B and directly asks them if they can do a certain date in 3 weeks. Person B once again makes up an excuse like "Sorry I am too busy" and A thinks this is BS since everyone else is just as busy and so A says something like "I cannot accept that as an answer!" My analysis of this situation is that B is trying to avoid a direct confrontation through passive aggression and A is forcing it by direct hostility. Sure, what B is doing is not good, but since B is not really required to participate in A's seminar, I don't think A is right to call out B's behaviour and should have taken the hint that B doesn't want to do the seminar but does not want to directly say so. However, if we are in the exact same situation but B is supposed to be doing something vital to A's work, then yes, I agree with you that it's completely appropriate to call out B's bad behaviour. But I wrote my last post as a continuation of my previous ones, in which I support passive aggressive behaviour in response to other passive aggressive behaviour if the relationship is not actually important to you or your work or it's a problem that you will rarely encounter. I would only increase passive aggression if I think that by doing so, we can continue indirect conflict indefinitely until it no longer becomes a problem, then I would do it. But as I said above, if this is damaging to a working relationship or other relationship I want to foster, then it definitely makes sense to solve it rather than push it further down the road.

Oh thanks for clarifying! That sounds good. I guess picking a letter #3 would be tricky then, because I probably would have done the same as you and gone to my first advisor first. But if she insists on you asking the other lab despite knowing the problems, then maybe she is trying to hint that her own letter won't be as good? Or maybe not, it's hard to tell! One potential solution could be to submit all four (not ideal but maybe a good idea if you can't decide between those two) or to submit one letter for some of the schools and another letter for other schools, depending on how well the letter writer is known at the schools you apply to.

Are these two research experiences the only two research experiences you have? If so, the supervisors of these two projects should be letters #1 and #2, not vying for letter #3! I think if you ended project #2 on good terms then you will probably still get a good LOR from them. It's better to have a research related LOR, even if you just did "nothing special" because research experience is still research experience. Not every undergraduate research position needs to turn out to be great science.

I think this is a tough situation and it's hard to determine what to do on your own. I suggest that you get help from on-campus experts. At my school, our health/counseling center has resources on what to do in various situations related to suicide. For this case, which my school considers as "not in immediate danger", the recommendation is to contact the counseling center and talk to a psychologist yourself and they can help you determine what the next course of action should be. As others said here, this person may be a danger to themselves and/or others, and I think it's important to do something. If I was in this situation I would go to the experts first and as soon as possible. Rumours are tricky because spreading false information can end up hurting the person you are trying to help. So I am not sure how I would feel going to the PI about rumours, but I agree that it might be a good idea to bring up the strange behaviour. However, I would still go the the counseling center first for confidential help. They can even talk to other people on your behalf if you are afraid that Person A finding out about you telling your PI/department can hurt you.

Oh yeah, if you are living in a cold part of Canada, I'd be wary of cars older than 10 years too--the winters can be harsh and the salt from the roads can cause rust on the undercarriage if it was not sprayed and taken care of. Also, the large temperature variations from summer to winters don't help either.

I think this is really a personal choice so it's hard for us to say what you should do. But I'll give my perspective in hopes it helps. I agree with jenste that this is not black or white. You can always move out of your mother's home after a month or a few months or even a year. I love my family and I enjoy spending time with my parents, but even now, I find it very difficult to stay in their home for more than 1 week at a time when I visit home (luckily, my spouse's parents also live in our hometown so when we split a visit between the two homes, it's more manageable). As you said, there is a lot of value in your own independence/freedom. Also, I really agree that it's very important to be able to easily integrate yourself in your department's social and academic lives. I would strongly advise being the type of grad student that is only around for classes and seminars if you can help it. Most of the relationship building and collaboration that you want in a graduate program happens from being around people and getting to know them. In my field, students and faculty often have offices all in the same hallway to promote these encounters but I know that not all programs generally have offices for their students. I think approximately $5000 per year for housing expenses is very reasonable. Personally, I'd spend that money to keep my independence and increase my ability to integrate with my department/classmates/school. But whether this is worth it to you will depend on your own personal needs! Also, another thing to consider is whether your targeted PhD/PsyD programs in a field where they are going to be fully funded? In my field, PhD students are often paid enough to pay all their expenses and have a few thousand leftover. Many students save that towards a general savings account, which you could then use to pay off your increased student loan when you eventually graduate!

If you want example numbers/timelines, we just got tentative assignments for the entire 2014-2015 year earlier this week. At my previous school, we found out in mid-August (the school year begins early September). Also at my previous school, the published deadline for informing students about TA positions was something like a week before each term started. So there can be very large variations, unfortunately.

This can vary a lot based on the specific province/states you are going from/to. Under NAFTA, as a Canadian moving to the US, all personal items were duty free as long as I owned them for one year prior to the move. I don't know if the car will count under this (but maybe others with experience know). Also, you probably read this: http://www.cbp.gov/trade/basic-import-export/importing-car -- it sounds like if you buy a Canadian made car, then you should not have to worry about any duties/taxes. My Canadian friend had a non-Canadian made car and when he moved to California, he had to do a lot of work to get it certified to meet US standards. The car was pretty old and the cost of the work was in the several thousand dollar range. So, I would be very worried about getting an older car in Canada that might have conformed to a different set of standards 15-20 years ago and will not meet US standards today. All of my other Canadian friends who moved to US for grad school drove their (relatively newer) cars into the US and imported it without any major issues and no expensive duties. So, it's definitely a thing many students do. However, if you are moving back to the US for good, wouldn't it make much more sense to buy a US car and not have to worry about importing? In my opinion, the hassle of importing a car does not sound like it's worth it just for the move back, unless you can save a lot of money on a flight/moving costs this way**. Also, I personally would be worried about taking a 15-20 year old car on a long moving trip only a few month after getting it. **Note: keep in mind that owning a car from now until August would probably cost money too so that should be considered against any potential flight savings As for driving a rental car, there's often a big surcharge for renting in one place and dropping it off in another. I'm not even sure it's always possible to pick up the car in Canada and drop it off in the US.

If you have "dozens" (i.e. less than 100) coordinates, I really think the fastest way is to copy and paste them from Excel into Google and then write down each answer. Even if it took you 30 seconds to copy and paste each line, 100 coordinates = 3000 seconds = 50 minutes. One way to make it faster is that you can write a mini Excel script that converts the Degrees:Minutes:Seconds notation to just decimal degrees, i.e. 55.04761666666. If you have a lot more than 100 coordinates, and you know some programming, you should write a small script that does this. As someone mentioned, Python is pretty good at this and I am sure there is a module that can tell you geographic location. Either way, I don't think it will save you much time if you round the numbers and like GeoDUDE says, rounding can cause potentially significant errors.

I think time management is a big factor here. I purposely go through every step slowly so that I solve the problem once correctly instead of three times and get three different answers. I prefer to take the time on each step and basically double checking each step as I go along instead of going all the way to the end and the double checking. (i.e. I repeat every step I write down to myself again before I go on to the next one). But that might just be good for me and not for others.

I think this is a good way to get what you want for the question/answer you want, but in my opinion, this can sometimes turn out to be pretty rude, and much worse than passive-aggressive behaviour. But I think this is a manner of the culture we grew up in. Even if you are in the right, if you do something that makes the other person ashamed then you are now the one in the wrong. Obviously this is just my opinion and is extremely subjective, but I just want to point out how this action can be seen negatively by other people. I think if I already did not have a good relationship with a person like this, this response would make things even worse and probably increase my amount of passive aggressive behaviour because I would want to avoid direct interactions/conflict with them even more. In my opinion, I do not enjoy interacting with people who are this direct with what they want because to me, it seems like they believe that what they want is more important than how comfortable I feel. If I was doing something wrong with my passive-aggressive behaviour (and I might not even realise it), I think the right action would be to have an actual talk so that both of us understand each other better. Direct hostility like this is not helpful in the long run, I think.

The fastest rejection we ever got was 3 days and it was a direct rejection from the editor. Our manuscript didn't make it to the referees even. In our case, it was a high impact journal and the rejection came with a good reason (i.e. something to do with not being the type of science they publish). We resubmitted somewhere else and it was fine. Usually a rejection this fast is either an auto-reject or the editor deciding to not pass the manuscript on to referees because he/she does not feel that the work merits publication in their journal, or the work does not meet their publishing criteria. It's too bad that your rejection letter was not more clear, which to me, says that this journal is just super selective and the editor does not think your work was flashy/sexy enough to be published. At least, that's how I would interpret this if it was my work and in my field. Might not be true in all fields though! My advice would be to discuss this with your advisor. I think the usual route is to either ask for a bit more feedback from the editor or try a different journal.

I feel like a lot of Canada (at least where I grew up) is similar to the mannerisms that Usmivka describes. Also I feel like different people might have different ideas on what "passive-aggressiveness" is (also mentioned by Usmivka!) For example, the actions that WriteAndKnit suggests count as "passive-aggressive" (hereafter, PA) in my mind and it was what I had in mind when I suggested that one might also be PA as a response to PA behaviour. That is, if someone is acting in a PA manner by ignoring my request for a meeting, I think an action like "oh hey, while I have my planner out, why don't we schedule X" is also "PA" because you are not directly confronting the problem / the cause, but instead just managing the symptoms/effects. To me, the opposite of PA is to directly confront the issue: in the above example that would mean sitting down with the person and asking them why they are ignoring me! But perhaps I just have a very wrong interpretation of what PA means.

I'm also in the "don't like drama" camp and will also be guilty of passive-aggressiveness when I face it. In honesty though, sometimes I "initiate" the passive-aggressiveness (oxymoron?) if I am upset at someone and I do not feel like investing the energy and effort in resolving the situation. This usually happens if I am not happy with someone who I don't see very often (e.g. someone in another department). After a while, I usually get over whatever it was that I was upset about and things go back to "normal". The other person probably doesn't even know but that's fine with me. I think this is because I find interactions with people and relationships to be energy draining, and while I do enjoy having good relationships with people, I don't have unlimited energy so I prefer to just spend my time/effort/energy in strengthening and building relationships with people I care about. I feel like this paragraph might sound like I hate most people, but that is not true. So I want to clarify that "people I care about" is actually a pretty broad group, which includes all of my friends and colleagues that I see somewhat regularly, but it doesn't include random person from another building that I might only see at the occasional campus-wide event. So, if I was in your situation, I would probably return the passive-aggressiveness if it's not a relationship I want to have anyways. But if it is, then I would take some time to talk to them and figure out what is bugging them. For me, sometimes if I am upset about something that I think might be trivial, I might not feel like speaking up and I really appreciate it when someone asks me something more directly.

To be clear, I'm not saying that we should all know that we are ranked X out of Y students in our class! And definitely not just in GPA but the overall "package". There were something like 50 students in my graduating major so for me, it's not that tough to figure out where you stand roughly (i.e. which quartile) in comparison to your peers. The point of my post above was to say that you don't have to be the top 5% of your class to get into grad school. I think top 30%-40% is a fairly good estimate of the type of students that make it to a graduate program in my field, and it might be the same for you too!