jeffster

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Sigaba, it's rather funny that you chose to post that in a thread that has generated some really great replies.

Rather than assuming that the OP didn't read any past posts and then hijacking their thread, maybe you should create your own post where this topic can be discussed.

Also, thanks to juilletmercredi and Cookie Monster and TakeruK, those were really helpful posts!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

I think that every generation/cohort thinks that the previous generation are doing something wrong, that things were better in the old days. And every generation thinks that the older generation is irrelevant and stuck in the old ways! This semester, a bunch of us who were TAing were mentioning how much undergrads these days want their TAs to just tell them the answer, and they get mad when we ask them questions in response to their questions. But if we're complaining about our undergrads now, I wonder what our TAs said about us ~4-5 years ago!

Easier said than done, but it seems ideal for the new generation to do as Sigaba says, and remember that the older generation gained a ton of experience getting to where they are now. At the same time, the new generation could be bringing in fresh ideas and it might not be a good idea to dismiss these thoughts simply because we don't have the experience. I am thinking more of the generation gap between current students and junior faculty members, but it could also apply to the gap between PhDs-about-to-graduate/postdocs and incoming grad students.

Now, to "defend"/"explain" "my" cohort despite what I said above

1. I don't agree that Internet BBs are ONLY meant to be repositories of knowledge where someone with a question should try to find every single thread on the topic and read everything. Sure, this is exactly what we do for a literature review for our work, but discussing graduate school, while related to work, isn't work. I think this was the original intention now, but with more and more people growing up in an Internet dominated world, Internet technologies are changing fast. Here's why it makes sense for a new user to post a new question instead of digging up old ones:
a ) Internet rule of not reviving dead posts. On most BBs, it's poor etiquette to post in a thread that has been inactive for some period of time
b ) The user wants to interact with current, active members, not just passively read something -- maybe they already read some of the stuff and now want interaction
c ) Related to ( a ) and ( b ), posting in an old (dead) thread is not effective at getting the attention of current active members. If there is an existing thread 5 pages long, most people will not read the previous 5 pages and write responses taking into account all of the past posts in mind. Most people will either see that it's 5 pages long and not bother, or just write a response based on the new post and not consider the previous posts. In the former case, the OP doesn't get the interaction. In the latter case, there was no advantage to continuing a year-old thread since few people make use of the past -- it's more organized to start a new thread.
d ) It's more satisfying to ask your own question, in your own thread, where you can define the parameters of your question instead of a thread where a mood/tone might have already been developed. This point is more "frivolous" but still plays a factor I think.

My solution? I'm a new member of this community but I've been on other BBs for many years and see the same stuff get asked all the time. It might be more useful to link to a specific post that we think is helpful or just copy and paste something we've written before for the OP, if we think we are repeating ourself.

I think nowadays, a BB is more of a place for a person to announce something (e.g. I have a problem!) and then whoever is around and interested can gather and have a discussion. Although it has the capability to function like a library of knowledge, and there are many who do use it that way, I would say that the majority are drawn to BBs because of the ability to talk to active members, not read through past posts. But it's a good thing that BBs can function in both ways and allows users to choose how to use the BB.

2. Regarding the "sense of entitlement" of "our" cohort. I think this is partially due to the fact that the people entering graduate studies today are VERY different than the people running graduate studies (i.e. profs). It's clear that nowadays, more and more people are going to University and getting degrees -- it's the norm to go to college and I think this is spreading into grad school too. So, the demographics are different. I'm not sure if it's true but it sure feels like many programs expect graduate students to devote themselves to academia. I'm not saying this is the case for any particular person, but I feel that someone from a family who has had people in grad school before (so they understand us) and/or aren't from a "working poor" class would have a much easier time adjusting to graduate student life and doing well than others. Someone who wants to start a family, or needs to send money home to their parents, or wants to do other things than just academia will face more challenges in grad school. One can argue that grad school isn't for those in the above categories and aren't able to / willing to face the challenges, though -- but I don't think this is the right way to do things.

I don't know for sure what the job prospects were for our profs though. Maybe it was just as bad for them but they just toughed it out. I don't think it's a bad idea for our cohort to come with certain expectations and fight/push for changes for things that we want. We should have the ability to voice our opinions and shape the way our graduate program is run. Maybe when all of the new people entering college in the past decade reach faculty positions, graduate programs will be drastically different. Or maybe it won't, if the system ends up doing a good job of self-selecting like-minded people. But fighting for better working conditions or improving student life shouldn't be considered a sense of "entitlement". That is, graduate school shouldn't be a place of "conform or perish" -- the norms of the department should be set by all of its members, including students. If the issues are important enough, the students' voice could be strong enough to cause change.

I guess when it comes down to it, I feel this way because I believe that educational programs (at all levels, i.e. BSc, MSc, PhD) exist to serve the students and it should meet our needs. The faculty members with experience would know what kind of skills are important for academic success so they would build the degree program on this. But it's easy for people to think that "I suffered through this to get to where I am so the students have to as well". And the needs of students back in the day may not be the same as the needs now. So it's important for department to seek feedback from students and incorporate what we would like to get out of our degrees into our degree programs. Maybe this is the "sense of entitlement" that Sigaba is referring to, but I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have some say in our degree programs if we are going to spend 5-6 years of our life and potentially opportunity costs during our PhDs.

@Jeffster--

My conclusion is based upon using the search function for less than a minute and finding several threads that answer the questions asked in the OP. That is, in less time than it took the OP to type up the questions, the member could have found previously offered guidance.

I understand that many newer members of this BB would like to think that the challenges they face are new, that their questions are unique, and that their insights are novel. This attitude undermines the effectiveness of the BB because it encourages newer members to start new threads rather than to build upon existing ones.

In regards to your characterization of my "hijacking" the thread, you have again demonstrated an inability to read carefully. The OP specifically asked for "age related' advice which my reply offered.

Ouch. You should reconsider your career in environmental studies and go for political punditry. With an attitude like that, you could be on Fox!

Sigaba, it's rather funny that you chose to post that in a thread that has generated some really great replies.

Rather than assuming that the OP didn't read any past posts and then hijacking their thread, maybe you should create your own post where this topic can be discussed.

Also, thanks to juilletmercredi and Cookie Monster and TakeruK, those were really helpful posts!

This can be great advice! I was never particularly shy nor extroverted; I never had problems meeting women nor did I go through women like crazy, the way some friends did. However, I had a good friend at university who was extremely introverted and had never had a girlfriend, or even anything close. He ended up with a random roommate who was a great guy, but really quite a playboy. Within one semester of hanging out with him, my nerdy friend was looking quite a bit more respectable, and by the time we all graduated he had had several good relationships. Obviously finding a friend who is more extroverted and has an easy time with the fairer sex is easier said than done, but it's something to keep in mind.

Also, you don't actually need to do special things to meet women - they make up more than half the population! Put the idea of "meeting a girlfriend" out of your mind and just think about meeting people. Even meeting other guys (as mentioned above) expands your social circles and leads to meeting more girls in the long run. Rather than forcing an opportunity to ask someone on a date, this way you'll find someone with whom chemistry makes it a natural progression.

And lastly, think about your appearance. If you pay no attention at all to your own looks and style, then that usually comes across to the people you meet. There are lots of easy ways to address this - ditch t-shirts for shirts with a collar, old jeans for new jeans, stop slouching, don't shuffle when you walk, etc. Whatever you wear doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, just make sure it's clean and wrinkle-free. Like it or not, our appearance is the first chance most of us have to make an impression, and it should at least not be off-putting.

Margarets,

You came on here asking for advice and have gotten a wide range of useful tips and opinions. Rather than focusing on one person who you just disagree with, perhaps be more gracious and thankful to everyone (even those you don't see eye to eye with) for taking time to offer advice and suggestions. We are helping you out by taking the time to answer your question- we don't ask for thanks or cheers, but we do deserve respect and consideration.

Your topic is not a cut and dry question- it is layered in interpersonal relationships and social dynamics- which will vary between individuals. In reading ktels post, there is useful advice. I don't believe they are advocating lying at all...in the real world in order to maintain working relationships with peers that you might not see eye to eye with, you will have to maintain 'working' relationships with them- relationships purely based on the reciprocity of work advantages rather than friendship. There is nothing wrong with that.

Tbh, your behaviour and attitude to your peers on here is telling as to why you might have issues in your class. Try and be less abrasive and accusing, and more open and gracious.

ktel, I think you've dug yourself into a hole here. In your first response, you tried to redefine the issue so that you could congratulate yourself for your past actions, but you inadvertently revealed your unattractive ethical flexibility.

I think it's fair to assume that since you advocate lying to professors, and lying about your classmates, you are also OK with lying to your classmates (and, no doubt, lying on internet forums, which calls into question everything you've posted here). I'll bet you don't like it when it happens to you though.

And I doubt you would want your current classmates knowing about what you've posted here. That would put an end to your relying on them right quick.

Graduate school is all about preparing yourself for the real world, and one big skills in the real world is developing working relationships with your peers, being able to effectively work within groups, and learning how to properly hand out and take criticism on your work. Group tasks were always a huge part of my grad school experience. My very first grad school task for the second class was to facilitate/teach the class with 2 other students. What you are experiencing is grad school, so the attitude that your prof has will probably be one that you will see a lot of...simply because they want you to develop crucial real world skills.

I would first try to establish some kind of study group with the students in the class. Before or after class, talk to a group of them and say "hey, I really would like to get together for an hour before/after class/on the weekend/whatever to talk about the assignments and maybe exchange work with each other" ...all you can do is suggest opportunities for students to get together and help each other out..in my experience, grad students are all very willing to do this, because just as you want help and feedback, so do they. [it's also key to remember that while grad school might seem like a competition, it's really not...you have to focus on your work, your path, and your expectations]. If you really try to generate a cooperative environment/situation in your class, and get no response...THEN go to your professor.

If you do go to the professor again, be very careful how you approach it...do not place blame on the other students. Simply say, 'Listen I would like some extra guidance on this project, I feel like I am not exactly sure which direction I need to go in, and would really benefit from your advice'...if they say, 'go to the other students' say something like "I have, and I still don't feel completely confident that I am on the right track" ...you want to make sure you don't 'go crying' to the prof, you want to be professional, motivated, and stress that you want to do a good job and need clarity.

Sigaba, it's rather funny that you chose to post that in a thread that has generated some really great replies.

Rather than assuming that the OP didn't read any past posts and then hijacking their thread, maybe you should create your own post where this topic can be discussed.

Also, thanks to juilletmercredi and Cookie Monster and TakeruK, those were really helpful posts!

Do what you can to minimize the temptation to reinvent the wheel.
Do your level best to learn from those who have gone before you and have asked similar questions.
Consider the utility of incorporating your questions into ongoing discussions.
When assessing the guidance you've received, consider the background, the expertise and the experience of the person who offered it.







If I sound snarky it is because this BB is going through a phase in which newer members are repeating questions that have been addressed many, many times. While this trend provides opportunities to get great guidance from experienced graduate students such as jullietmercredi, it also provides opportunities to miss equally sound guidance from experienced graduate students such as jullietmercredi.

IMO, this trend represents a "lost opportunity" for many of you to start the transition from being undergraduates to being graduate students. As graduate students, you will often encounter an implicit expectation that you are doing the leg work to find the answers to your own questions, and from there generating additional questions and answers. (In some quarters, this leg work is called "research".)

Additionally, some of you who are in your twenties may be walking into a buzzsaw as new graduate students. Your cohort is developing a reputation for having attitudes of entitlement and self-absorption. (Consider how members of the generation of 1965 talk about the OWS and Tea Party movements) Regardless of the accuracy of this perception (Christopher Lasch had the same complaints back in 1978), perception is reality.

While it is your choice as to what questions you want to ask and how you want to ask them, do not be surprised if those who are most capable of helping you decide to tune you out. If you think this can't happen to you, ask yourself why you're asking strangers on the internet for guidance rather than going into a professor's office and getting mentored?

My $0.02.

You are making all kinds of assumptions about how I have approached my classmates - in particular, that I'm doing it wrong, when I haven't actually said anything about my approach. What I actually asked for was advice on how to deal with the prof who thinks going to other students is an option when it's actually a crap-shoot. Do you have advice for that?

Also, why would you think that people who respond negatively to a direct request would somehow be interested in taking time out of their schedule to meet in a group and give help that way? That's like an hour or two out of their life, when they've already shown a disinclination to give two minutes.

I'm interested in your opinion on this: Let's say I turn out to be one of the stars of the course, and people come to me for help. Should I rebuff those who previously rebuffed me, who are only coming to me now because they know that I have the info? How would you handle that situation?

About your dog: I think that depends entirely on you and your program. I am in a social science program where the majority of my analysis and writing can be done from home, and I prefer to work from home or from a library (as opposed to my cube in the windowless cube farm). When I was taking classes I was generally there from 9-6 or so, but now that my coursework is finished I am rarely at the school itself. I go for meetings, seminars, interesting kinds of things and I do most of my work remotely. My time is verrry flexible, and if my building didn't prohibit it I would get a dog in a heartbeat. Another thing to keep in mind: a dog can be a great comfort when you're all stressed out over graduate school.

Advice?

Age:
-Don't feel like you have nothing to offer just because you are younger. I was 22 when I started graduate school. You got accepted to the program for a reason, and chances are you are just as equipped as any older students are to successfully complete the program, just in a different way.

-Your older classmates may be just as terrified as you. Talk to them. You have a lot in common. You are, after all, in the same place.

-You will feel like an imposter, like you don't belong, or like you are constantly behind. Or all three. It's normal. It will pass. (Well, sort of.) People of all ages go through this.

Adviser related:
-If you are lucky enough to get both research interest fit and personality fit perfect, congratulations! But sometimes, personality fit is more important than research interest fit as long as the research isn't too different. A great adviser is interested in your career development, likes you as a person, advocates for you, and wants to hear your ideas. Even if his or her research is quite different from yours, they may give you the autonomy to work on your own projects and just supervise you. A bad personality fit will drive you nuts, even if you love his or her research. Consider that when evaluating your adviser fit. (This will vary by field: research fit may be less important in the humanities, more important in the natural and physical sciences. Social sciences are somewhere in-between.)

-Don't be afraid to be straight up blunt with your adviser when it comes to asking about your progress. Ask if you are where you should be both academic program wise and getting-a-job-after-this-mess-wise.

-Be proactive. Advisers love when you draw up an agenda for your one-on-one meetings, come with talking points and progress to share, have concrete questions to ask, and have overall shown that you have been thoughtful and taken control of your own program. Of course, this won't immediately come easily to you, but in time you will work up to it. Every semester I type up my semester goals, and at the beginning of the year I type up annual goals. I show them to my adviser and we talk about whether they are too ambitious, or whether I need to revise them, and how I can meet them.

-Don't expect your adviser to actually know what courses you have to take to graduate. They will know about comprehensive exams and the dissertation, but a lot of professors don't really keep up with the course requirements, especially if their program is in flux. Get you a student handbook, and find out what you need to take. Map it out in a grid, and check off things when you finish them. Show this to your adviser every semester. You may have to explain how such and such class fills a requirement.

-Nobody loves you as much as you, except your mother. Keep this in mind as you take in advice from all sources, including your adviser. Your adviser is there to guide you, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he says.

Studying:
-You will have to read more than you ever did before, in less time than you ever have before, and you will be expected to retain more than you ever have before. The way that you studied in undergrad may need some tweaking. Be prepared for this.

-Corollary: you may find that your methods change with age or interests or time. I preferred to study alone in college, but in grad school, I prefer to study in groups. It keeps me on task and the socialization keeps me motivated. You may find that you shift from being a more auditory learner to a visual learner or whatever.

-You will feel behind at first. This is normal.

-At some point you will realize that your professors don't actually expect you to read everything they assign you. This, of course, will vary by program, but there will be at least one class where the reading is actually impossible to do in one week. The point is to read enough that you know the major themes and can talk intelligently about them, and then pick some of the readings to really dig into and think more deeply about.

-For most programs, don't worry so much about grades. If you stay on top of your work and do what you're supposed to, you will probably get an A. How much grades matter varies from program to program. In some programs, a B is a signal that you are not up to par, and more than a few Bs will warrant a discussion with your adviser or the DGS. My program isn't like that - A, B, it's all meaningless. My adviser doesn't even know what my grades are. But at almost all programs, a C means you need to retake the course, and two Cs means you have to convince the DGS not to kick you out.

Extracurricular activity: What's that? No, seriously:
-A lot of your time will be unstructured. You will have coursework, but most grad classes meet once a week for two hours and you may have three classes. You may have meetings with your adviser every so often and some seminars or things to catch (like we have grand rounds and colloquia that are required), but a lot of time will be unstructured. However, since you have so much more work than you had in undergrad, you actually will have less free time than you had in undergrad. This may initially cause you great anxiety. It did for me. Some people love unstructured time, though. (I don't.)

-Because of this, you'll have to be planful about your non-grad school related stuff.

-TAKE TIME OFF. DO it. It's important for your mental health. However you do it doesn't matter. Some people work it like a 9-5 job. Some people take a day off per week (me) and maybe a few hours spread across the week. Some people work half days 7 days a week. However you do it, there needs to be a time when you say "f this, I'm going to the movies."

-Find your happy place, something that keeps you the you you were when you came in. I love working out. It gives me energy and I feel good. I stay healthy. I also love reading fiction, so sometimes I just curl up with a good book, work be damned. You have to give yourself permission to not think about work, at least for a couple of hours a week. You may also discover new hobbies! (I never worked out before I came to graduate school.)

-Your work will creep into all aspects of your life, if you let it. This is why I hate unstructured time. You will feel guilty for not doing something, because in graduate school, there is ALWAYS something you can do. ALWAYS. But since there will always be more work, there's no harm in putting it aside for tomorrow, as long as you don't have a deadline.

-You may need to reach outside of your cohort for a social life. None of my close friends are in my doctoral cohort. I've met master's students in my program, master's students in other programs, and I know a few non-graduate students I hang out with, too. Go to graduate student mixers. (If your university doesn't have any, organize some, if you like planning parties.) Join a student group that doesn't take up too much time. I had a doctoral acquaintance who kinda laughed at me because I joined some student groups other than the doctoral student one, and I was usually the only doctoral student in those groups, but I met some close friends (and future job contacts) and had a good time.

-DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF GRADUATE SCHOOL. This is paramount. This is important. You are a well-rounded, complex, multifaceted human being. NEVER feel bad for this. Everybody wants some kind of life outside of work. Yes, you may loooove your field, but that doesn't mean you want to do it all day long. Some other doctoral students, and perhaps professors, may make you feel bad about this. Don't let them. Just smile and nod. Then disappear when you need to.

Career:
-This is job preparation. Remember that from Day One. Always be looking for ways to enhance your skills. Read job ads and find out what's hot in your field, what's necessary, what's in demand. For example, in my field statistics and methods are a hot commodity, and they're not a passing fad. I happen to really like statistics and methods, so I have pursued that as a concentration of mine.

-Don't be afraid to take on volunteer work and part-time gigs that will give you skills that will be useful both inside academia and out, as long as it's not against your contract. Your adviser may be against it, but he doesn't have to know as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

-If you want to work outside of academia - if you are even *considering* the possibility - please please definitely do the above. Even if you aren't considering it, consider the possibility that you won't get a tenure-track job out the box and that you may need to support yourself doing something else for a while. You will have to prove to employers that you have developed usable, useful skills and this is one of the easiest ways to do it. But don't overdo it - get the degree done.

-For more academic related ones - always look for opportunities to present and publish. Presentations look good on your CV. Publications look better. When you write seminar papers, wonder if you can publish them with some revision. Write your seminar papers on what you maybe think you may want to do your dissertation on. Even if you look at them three years later and think "these suck," you can at least glean some useful references and pieces from them. Discuss publication with your adviser early and often, and if you have the time and desire, seek out publication options with other professors and researchers. But if you commit to a project, COMMIT. You don't want to leave a bad impression.

-If you can afford it, occasionally go to conferences even if you aren't presenting. You can network, and you can hear some interesting talks, and you may think about new directions for your own research. You can also meet people who may tell you about jobs, money, opportunities, etc.

-Always try to get someone else to pay for conference travel before you come out of pocket. Including your adviser. Do not be shy about asking if he or she can pay. If he can't, he'll just say no. Usually the department has a travel fund for students, but often it's only if you are presenting.

-If you are interested in academia, you should get some teaching experience. There are two traditional ways to do this: TAing a course, and teaching as a sole instructor. If you can help it, I wouldn't recommend doing a sole instructor position until you are finished with coursework. Teaching takes a LOT of time to do right. You should definitely TA at least one course, and probably a few different ones. But don't overdo it, if you can help it, because again, it takes a LOT of time. More than you expect at the outset. If you are in the humanities, I think sole instructor positions are very important for nabbing jobs so when you are in the exam/ABD phase, you may want to try at least one. If your own university has none, look at adjuncting for nearby colleges, including community colleges. (I would wager that the majority of natural science/physical science students, and most social science students, have never sole taught a class before they get an assistant professor job. At least, it's not that common n my field, which straddles the social and natural sciences.)

-Always look for money. Money is awesome. If you can fund yourself you can do what you want, within reason. Your university will be thrilled, your adviser will be happy, and you can put it on your CV. It's win-win-win! Don't put yourself out of the running before anyone else has a chance to. Apply even if you think you won't get it or the odds are against you (they always are), as long as you are eligible. Apply often. Apply even if it's only $500. (That's conference travel!) Money begets money. The more awards you get, the more awards you will get. They will get bigger over time. If you are in the sciences and social sciences, you should get practice writing at least one grant. You don't have to write the whole thing, but at least get in on the process so that you can see how it's done. Grant-writing is very valuable both in and outside of graduate school.

-Revise your CV every so often. Then look and decide what you want to add to it. Then go get that thing, so you can add it.

-The career office at big universities is often not just for undergrads. I was surprised to learn that my career center offers help on CV organization and the academic job search, as well as alternative/non-academic career searches for doctoral students. In fact, there are two people whose sole purpose it is to help PhD students find nonacademic careers, and they both have PhDs. This will vary by university - some universities will have very little for grad students. Find out before you write the office off.

-It's never too early to go to seminars/workshops like "the academic job search inside and out", "creating the perfect CV," "getting the job," etc. NEVER. Often the leader will share tips that are more aimed towards early graduate students, or tidbits that are kind of too late for more advanced students to take care of. This will also help you keep a pulse on what's hot in your field. It'll help you know what lines you need to add to your CV. And they're interesting.

Other:

-Decide ahead of time what you are NOT willing to sacrifice on the altar of academia. Then stick to it.
I'm serious. If you decide that you do NOT want to sacrifice your relationship, don't. If it's your geographical mobility, don't. I mean, be realistic, and realize that there will always be trade-offs. But you have to think about what's important to you for your quality of life, and realize that there is always more to you than graduate school.

-If you don't want to be a professor, do not feel guilty about this. At all. Zero. However, you will have to do things differently than most doctoral students. Your adviser will probably never have worked outside of the academy (although this may vary depending on the field) so he may or may not be able to help you. But you have a special mission to seek out the kinds of experiences that will help you find a non-academic job. Test the waters with your adviser before you tell him this. My adviser was quite amenable to it, but that's because I told him that my goal was to still do research and policy work in my field just not at a university, AND because it's quite common in my field for doctoral students to do non-academic work. If you're in a field where it's not common (or where your professors refuse to believe it's common, or it's not supposed to be common)…well, you may be a little more on your own.

-Every so often, you will need to reflect on the reasons you came to graduate school. Sometimes, just sit and think quietly. Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love your field? Do you need this degree to do what you want to do? Usually the answer is yes and yes, and usually you'll keep on trucking. But sometimes when the chips are down you will need to reevaluate why you put yourself through this in the first place.

-To my great dismay, depression is quite common in doctoral students. Graduate work can be isolating and stressful. Luckily your health insurance usually includes counseling sessions. TAKE THEM if you need them. Do not be ashamed. You may be surprised with who else is getting them. (I found out that everyone in my cohort, including me, was getting mental health counseling at a certain point.) Exercise can help, as can taking that mental health day once a week and just chilling. Don't be surprised if you get the blues…

-…but be self-aware and able to recognize when the depression is clouding your ability to function. Doctoral programs have a 50% attrition rate, and this is rarely because that 50% is less intelligent than, less motivated than, less driven than, or less ambitious than the other 50% that stays. Often they realize that they are ridiculously unhappy in the field, or that they don't need the degree anymore, or that they'd rather focus on other things in life, or their interests have changed. All of this is okay!

-You will, at some point, be like "eff this, I'm leaving." I think almost every doctoral student has thought about dropping out and just kicking this all to the curb. You need to listen to yourself, and find out whether it is idle thought (nothing to worry about, very normal) or whether you are truly unhappy to the point that you need to leave. Counseling can help you figure this out.

-Don't be afraid to take a semester or a year off if you need to. That's what leaves of absence are for.

Lastly, and positively…

…graduate school is great! Seriously, when else will you ever have the time to study what you want for hours on end, talk to just as interested others about it, and live in an intellectual community of scholars and intellectuals? And occasionally wake up at 11 am and go to the bank at 2 pm? Sometimes you will want to pull out all of your hair but most of the time, you will feel fulfilled and wonderfully encouraged and edified. So enjoy this time!

I'm in a MSc program, but in Canada, everyone starts grad school as a MSc student, graduates, and then applies for PhD programs (which can be at the same or a different institution). I'm finishing up my second and final year now.

First -- your question about time: It really depends on your program / department / research group / supervisor as well as your own goals in academia. For me, almost all of my research work can be done remotely (although I prefer to work in the office) so I really only need to go to school to attend class, TA, talk to my friends, attend seminars, and meet my supervisor. None of these things happen outside of 9-5 so I tend to stick to a 9-5 ish schedule and do extra work from home if necessary. I usually try to not do any "work" outside of 9-5 and not take my "work" home. However, I don't count course-work as "work" and I try to do that at home so it doesn't cut into research time too much. But if you work in, say, a chemistry lab, you might have stricter requirements as to when you need to be in the lab.

Many of my friends in school have dogs. Some of them take a break in the middle of the day to go home and walk their dogs or see them, if they live close. I try to treat grad school as a "job" -- unless there are deadlines approaching, I don't feel bad leaving at ~5pm even if there is stuff left to be done since it will still be there tomorrow! I know this means I'm not working to my fullest potential, and I'm okay with that. I'm not aiming to be the best in my field, and I choose to have other priorities.

Which comes to the second thing I want to say -- grad school is as much work as you want it to be. To use a cliche -- you will get out of it what you put in. So it's important to think about what you want to get out of your PhD program and then schedule your life accordingly! I think it's really important to budget your time and energy so that you don't neglect your priorities (whether it's courses, research, teaching, family, dogs, whatever). I think graduate school is hard enough even when you have a positive/healthy mindset, so maintaining whatever makes you happy is important.

I got some advice from my mentors (previous supervisors) that I thought was really valuable. They said to pick your supervisor and project in a way that will help you get a post-doc job (if that is the goal after PhD). If so, your PhD project will be the strongest argument you have for yourself when you apply for jobs. Pick something that will be interesting to people ~5 years from now, don't work on a super specific field that only you or your supervisor cares about (instead, do these as side projects). You don't have to love your thesis topic, just don't hate it! Next, make sure your project contributes to the field in a meaningful way, so that ideally people will start to connect the concepts you are working on with your name.

As for picking supervisors, my mentors told me that I should find someone who is a good mentor, not just a good researcher. We will need to trained in other skills such as how to write papers really well, how to apply for grants, how to give compelling presentations, how to get ourselves known. Many good researchers have these abilities but not everyone is good at teaching these abilities too. Also, if possible, find someone who will care about their students' success and will give us opportunities like attending conferences and so on. If you have an external scholarship and thus your supervisor may not pay you at all (or very little), it's common in the physical sciences to actually negotiate non-salary things like having a budget for travel or equipment, and so on. (Last piece of advice -- apply for external fellowships whenever possible, even if you are already funded by internal means. You probably won't get any more money, but you will get a lot more freedom and independence).

Those were some of the important (in my opinion) things I've learned in the last 2 years as a graduate student and from many conversations with my mentors while applying for PhD programs for this fall! Hope that gives you some things to consider

Now this is a situation that would merit a more in depth explanation of why you've decided to travel elsewhere. The person you've spoken with has obviously invested more than the average amount of time in getting to know you and your suitability for their program and working with them, and has connections to people already in your network (which isn't out of the ordinary, but if you're talking multiple connections. . .)

I would pow-wow with your current advisors, or whomever is writing your letters and ask them - since they seem to know these professors personally/professionally - what might best be the approach to take with each of these professors.

Agreed. Thankfully that's not what I said. . .at all.

Well then by all means, craft personalized emails for these instructors you have had these substantive conversations with who I am quite sure will remember you in 5 or 10 years.

Exactly. Perhaps people want to over complicate things because it is a big step in their life, and each action demands some grand gesture. Unless you're an exceptional candidate and the department went out of their way to recruit you (read: did they do anything they didn't do, or wont do again, to another candidate) a simple email suffices.

But hey I'm sure someone will come along and tell the OP what they want to hear: personalized hand written cards (perhaps scented) expressing deepest regrets and the hope that this doesn't completely shatter their graduate program.

There is no negative tone. It is simply me not shining you on; you asked for opinions, I gave you one which you reject out of hand which lead me to conclude you don't actually want opinions just validation for a decision you have already made. Nature of the beast.



I amended my recommendation to be more in line what you were seeking. . .did you not see?