MacZeeZee

I got accepted off of the waitlist, fully funded, to my top choice program. I'm going next fall. Yippee!

Got an offer of acceptance from a great school, with a fellowship (no teaching responsibility). Is it appropriate to ask for additional money? A few things to consider: 1. I was accepted off of the wait list. 2. This is the standard offer made to ALL incoming folks. 3. They accept 3 people every year (and have only been in existence for 5 years). 4. I can live off of what they offered me, although it REALLY isn't very much for living in NYC. I'm tempted to say that I should just leave well enough alone. It is a fair fellowship, and I'm probably not in a great position to ask for anything, haha. But I've been working in the industry for so long, I can't imagine NOT trying to negotiate a starting salary. It's just a habit! But I guess I have to get used to not being out in the workforce anymore If I SHOULD ask for more money, then how would one do that? How likely is it to actually happen?

Thanks for the responses. I think I've decided to go with NYU. I've spoken to my POIs at both NYU and Fordham, and it turns out BOTH had their first child while in graduate school (talk about a lucky coincidence!). Both had them between their 3rd and 4th years; one took a year off, and so she finished a year later than her cohort, and the other managed to finish on time with the help of local family members to do some childcare. I was really nervous about bringing this up with them. When I approached them about it, they both seemed very supportive. They told me in no uncertain terms that your life doesn't (and shouldn't) stop while getting a PhD, and that they as a department are generally pretty family-friendly. They gave me information about when it is appropriate to take a LOA vs. working on a flexible schedule vs. working "part-time" (but without financial support from the university.....essentially just a LOA with you doing some of the work for the next year during your leave). I feel really good about this decision. My husband and I will decide WHEN the timing will be right, and hopefully it will all work out. But I think I'm going with NYU! Yippeee!

JungWild&Free - Most programs you can just leave with a Masters degree even though it is frowned upon. But for some reason, NYU does not offer this option at all. You could be ABD, 4 years into a program, and you would walk away with nothing (other than great experience and loads more knowledge...which arguably is the point, right?) Inyo - Thank you for the response. I think you're absolutely correct. As someone who has gone through fertility treatments, you're right: going through infertility is incredibly difficult. My husband and I are in couples / infertility specific therapy, we both belong to support groups, and we're dealing with those issues as best we can. It's hard to decide what's best, that's for sure. I've always wanted to go to graduate school. We had to move around a bit for my husbands job, and now we've landed. We decided that what was best was to have a child first, then send me to school. Well...3 years later and we still haven't gotten pregnant. I can't keep waiting for my life to start. Of course, Baby > Graduate school, at all times. Under every circumstance. If it turns out that I can't finish a degree because my kids will be better off....so be it. But I also believe that all other things being equal, I'd rather be in school in my time I'm away from my children than working some dead-end job. I want that PhD! I was hoping to get some more responses from people with direct experience in raising kids (especially young kids) during a PhD program. Any of you out there?

I really appreciate all the opinions guys. And yeah....4 hours is brutal. Because it's on the train, I would be doing work during the commute, and would therefore not have necessarily that much more time away from my kiddos (I wouldn't have to take time to do most of my reading at home, I could do probably all of it on the train). Just so we're clear, though, I would be taking a LOA to care for my child during their infancy. And, since it's coming down to probably doing IVF, I can probably time it pretty well to....Get pregnant in September / October (of this year or next), be pregnant during the coursework year, have baby around May / June, and then have that summer, the whole next year, then the next summer, just taking care of the bub. Baby would be (approximately) 14 months old before I would have to go back to school. I would feel less horrible about having childcare at 14 months old than, like, 2 months old. And my spouse works very close to home, and works for his brother; therefore he has AMPLE opportunity to be home with our child when I can't be (emergencies included). He already has the option of working from home whenever he needs to (his office mates with children often only come into the office on Fridays). I imagine we'd realistically only need to have about 15 hours of paid childcare a week in this scenario, although maybe more or less depending on my coursework timing. So yeah. Fordham is doable....but not ideal. I guess I'm just nervous about not having an out at NYU for a Masters option. But conversely, maybe having an out isn't such a great idea. I'm less likely to finish if I have an out.... You've all helped tremendously. Keep the opinions coming! (even the mean ones )

So, today I got a call that I will be accepted off the waitlist at NYU Steinhardt. I've also been accepted to Fordham's PhD program. Yippee! So the "problem", if you can even call it that, is that they were essentially tied for my "top" choice this whole application process. There are significant differences in the programs, and serious pros and cons for each. But as of right now, I'm having trouble coming up with a front runner. So, if any of you have the time or inclination to form any opinions on the matter, I would be forever grateful! Here is my current "Pros and Cons" list for Fordham's PhD in Applied Developmental Psychology program: Pros: Exactly perfect research match Has Masters-only option Well-established program Has practicum - I want to go into practice, not research, eventually Awesome advisor, I get along with her swimmingly, and she's a young mom (see below) Prestigious fellowship offered; no teaching duties for the 1st year and more money for the next 4 years Will be a “big fish” in this smaller pond, I think Cons: 2 hours away (4 hours total commute time), everyday for at least 2 years TA intensive after 1st year fellowship VERY quant-heavy (I'm not very stats-savvy) Traditional dissertation option only And here is my list for a PhD in Psychology and Social Intervention at NYU's Steinhardt School of Human Development: Pros: 25 minutes away More prestigious faculty and a really cool, flexible program Has practicum as well Offered me a 4-year fellowship (no teaching responsibilities unless I want extra money) Semi-awesome advisor(s) Better dissertation options (3 publishable papers in lieu of one huge dissertation) Less quant-heavy, more options for qualitative or mixed-methods Great neighborhood, and did I mention 25 minutes away?! Cons: No Master’s option Not technically Developmental Psychology, which is the field I'd like to go into Less money per year Okay! So my biggest concerns are that my husband and I are planning to start a family WHILE I'm in grad school. I know....we're insane. But we've been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years, and we are sooo sick of waiting. I don't think that I will have any problem multi-tasking and getting my shit done; I've always been a person who needs to be doing a hundred things at once. We are financially very stable. He is in investment banking, and kicking ass, and we currently have a 2 bedroom apartment in a brownstone in an amazing, child-friendly neighborhood in Brooklyn. So everything is our life is ready for a munchkin (or two). I do worry about timing for grad school though...I don't want to lose out on my Fellowships if I do have to take a year LOA (which I would want to do). I guess I just need to flat-out ASK these schools what will happen if my husband and I do decide to start a family during my time there. But I'm nervous! Will they withdraw my acceptance? Will they think I'm insane, or irresponsible? Having the option to "get out" after 2 years with a Masters at Fordham is a huge plus for me. But being 25 minutes away (especially if I have a little one) is a huge plus for NYU. The other elements seem to be a wash. Help me think this through people! Thank you in advance :-)

I suggest you look up the phenomenon known as "The Approach / Avoidance Conflict". Just knowing this little tidbit about human behavior has allowed me to say "Yes" and "Why the Heck Not" to MANY more opportunities. Essentially, it refers to the fact that every major life event has both negative and positive attributes; for example, going to a PhD program will provide for numerous opportunities, it will enrich your life, let you meet new people....but it will also take you away from your home country, your family, not allow you to make very much money for a while, etc. When a certain event (like starting grad school) is farther away, the positive aspects seems more relevant -- you tend to only think of the benefits. But as you actually get closer to having that goal become realized, the negative suddenly jump to the forefront of your mind. You begin to worry about how much you will miss out on, and you panic. For me, just realizing that these feelings are COMPLETELY normal and rational (even adaptive!), has helped me to see that these negative thoughts don't necessarily mean I should not move forward. They are just my anxieties coming to the surface, ready to be vanquished :-) Hope it helps!

Got a call from POI at Fordham - I got in! With a prestigious fellowship! Yippee! I think I may call back NYU in a few weeks and prod them with this information....they asked me to call them before I accepted anywhere else. My top choice is EITHER Fordham or NYU....Fordham has a great program, excellent research match, stellar quant department to help me with my research, and is giving me loads more money than NYU would. But it's like a 2 hour commute....each way. Probably every day (at least for the first 2 years). Yuck! I feel silly making a fuss over commute times but jeez, 4 hours every day is like...a part time job. My husband and I are trying to have a baby soon, and time away from a little one is a HUGE concern of mine during grad school. I'm confident I can make it work, but being 25 minutes away from campus (like I am to NYU) would be a great thing...ouiy.

I applied to the PhD in Developmental Psych, but got accepted to the Masters (rejected from PhD). They sent me an email saying for me to sign into the application portal, and there was my decision, waiting for me. You might want to do the same, just to see if they've sent out decisions yet.

Got accepted to CUNY today, with a 5-year fellowship. Definitely my "backup" choice (not THAT close to what I actually want to study).....but still nice to get accepted somewhere with some money :-) Still waiting to hear anything from Fordham, and still waiting to hear about the wait list at NYU Stienhardt.

I went to an interview last week in the "blizzard" that hit us in the NE. I wore dress pants, black heels, a nice blouse, and a sweater for the interviews. On the way there, I wore a long snow jacket, knee-high rainboots (pants tucked in) with thick, thick socks, hat, mittens, etc. I just arrived 30 minutes early, found a bathroom NOT in the general vicinity of the interview room, and changed my whole look when I got there (put on my heels, fixed my hair, touched up my makeup, put on my earrings, etc.). I shoved all of my snow gear into my boots, and just brought them up and asked the secretary where I could stash those items until the end of the visiting day. She was very accommodating :-) I brought a nice looking bag with me that was big enough to fit all of my crap in. It's my husband's Jcrew-esque breifcase-ish messenger bag. Totally worked out great! I felt great during the interviews, and was warm and not panicked about my pants getting ruined on the trek there!

Well, I got a "sortof" acceptance yesterday. My POI from Columbia TC called me (what I thought was going to be a phone interview...it was not) and let me know that she thinks I would be a better fit for the Masters program that they have there, and then move into the PhD program after that. I've heard things from past graduate students, about Columbia being a bit notorious for taking a tons of applicants to the Masters program, not funding anyone, and then never moving them on to the PhD. I'm a little skeptical. I'm also simply NOT in a position to attend an unfunded Masters program in NYC. So what should I do? Should I email her back with all the reasons that I'd be a FANTASTIC PhD candidate, in hopes of changing her mind? Do I try my darndest to get funding for this Masters? Do I give it up, and just wait to hear back from my other applications?

Thanks! (for the happy birthday and the congrats). I'm really excited about my prospects this application cycle. But if I get 4 interviews and no acceptances, I am going to feel VERY badly about myself lol.

Wow, just as I typed that, I got an email from my POI at Columbia TC. Phone interview scheduled for 2/18. Yippee!

Haven't heard anything yet. Applied to the Developmental Psych PhD program there. I've gotten interview invites from every other flippin' school, and have even interviewed at most, but still not a peep out of TC. Oh, except to wish me a happy birthday (?)