Clinical - Survival Journal

[CatastrophizingNerd]

Day 38:

It has been 38 days since D-day. My energy has quickly depleted since the new year has begun. Was I immature to think I could take on this voyage myself? Perhaps. I sit at at the sandy shore, watching passing ships, waving my torch, but they pass on without pause. I have heard of others, survivors like me, who had escaped this barren, destitute island once before... but they are only mere markings on the cave walls where I take shelter.

My provisions are low, and I find to be scavenging the forests for high-fat, high-calorie, and low nutrient foods... it is strange in a land of scarcity that I have seemed to have gained a greater weight than I otherwise would have in civilization. 

I feel desperate. At nights, my eyes dart back and forth from the distressed woods washed ashore from the shipwreck, out to the black sea, thinking of maddening fantasies of fastening myself a makeshift ship and drifting out alone... to escape alone... to become a bartender in Greece...

...no...no... I've evidently fallen into delirium. I must find a way to keep my sanity, somehow.

note: melodramatic shit post

Edited January 8, 2020 by CatastrophizingNerd

[CatastrophizingNerd]

Day 39:

I'm at ends with Wilson. Today, he had the nerve to look at me the wrong way and I just blew up. I picked him up and threw him out into the forest. He bounced, and the sphere rotated, showing his idiotic tribal face smiling back as he fell into the abyss.

Of course, I instantly regretted this, and spent the next hour or so trying to find him with only the faint moonlight. I had to return to the cave because I knew if I stayed out any longer, the cold would manifest into a fever. I sit now inside my cave, by the fire, drinking warm water out of a reused can of peas, sipping the beverage seeped with herbal leaves, wondering how much long I'm going to last. 

I continue to read the markings on the walls by past survivors, and they all say the same... that I will be saved... but how can I know for sure? If I were to be saved, it would have happened by now... 

[Chugwater2020]

You must continue this...  You must.  You are a light in the darkness.