Friended by My Grad School

[polarscribe]

So, I woke up this morning to a Facebook friend request from... the official page of a department I applied to.

This brings up some interesting scenarios. One is that they could just be mass-friending everyone who applied. But... that kind of doesn't make sense because a bunch of those people are going to end up getting rejected and then, why would they want to be friends with a department that didn't want them?

If I get rejected from this department, it's going to be like... "I don't like you that way, so let's just be friends."

[neshmi]

oh my! that is a really interesting scenario! I'd certainly put off accepting until you know more from them... they may mass friend people to boost their stats, but on the other hand, it would be really cruel to friend people they are rejecting!

[newms]

Think of it this way - while you're waiting at least you'll get updates from the department through fb. If they reject you, then you can just unfriend them.

[OnceAndFutureGrad]

If they reject you, then you can just unfriend them.

Booyah! That most grievous of Facebook insults!

I have no idea what to say to the OP. I'd say that that's good news...but...grad schools seem to live on giving false hope to applicants.

I have many friends in the department of one of the schools where I've applied, which means that my POIs keep showing up in the "People You May Know" sidebar. They know me well enough that sending a request wouldn't be TOO weird (well, maybe a little, in this scary in-between period). But when their faces pop up I want to shout, "X! Y! I am merely on Facebook to share scholarly information with my colleagues! Stop looking at me!! Okay, I will go back to reading now!!!"

[DamianD]

Face it,... you get a reject and friending you just means "I'm sorry dude but it is probably for the best if we stay friends than continu as lovers..."

J/k, it is a pretty weird situation, I don't know what to think of it. I would consider it as a positive thing but probably send them a message like whatsup and why are you friending me....??

[communications13]

If your profile is private maybe they are trying to vet your page, see what kind of person you are in real life and not on an application form. Or maybe I'm just parinoid

And if you get accepted to they ask you to be in a relationship?

Edited February 2, 2011 by communications13

[Medievalmaniac]

If your profile is private maybe they are trying to vet your page, see what kind of person you are in real life and not on an application form. Or maybe I'm just parinoid

And if you get accepted to they ask you to be in a relationship?

I think it is acceptable to message them back and check it out. I would word it something like, "I am always happy to receive new friend requests! However, it seems odd that I receive one from the admissions office of a university to which I have applied. While I certainly have nothing to hide and will gladly provide you with access to my Facebook account, I would like to verify first that this request was made by an officer or employee in your graduate office and not by a robot or spammer. Thank you, XXXX"

Then, the ball is in their court. But I think as long as you make it clear you are just verifying this is "for real" and not trying to hide anything from them, you're good.

Also, depending upon your privacy settings, their requesting you as a friend is all it takes to get your profile information and friends list made available to them.

[MoJingly]

I'm not sure what I would do in that situation, but here are some things I considered and then decided would not be your best solution (if it helps at all):

1. Accept the friend request and immediately make your status "OMG! FOR REALZ!! Look at my new friend!!"

2. Accept the friend request and send 50,573 Farmville requests

3. Accept the friend request and quickly invite your school to be in a relationship.

4. Send an invitation to your next "CEOs and Office Hoes" keg party in celebration of finishing grad schools applications.

5. Send this bumper sticker:

Just some thoughts.

Edited February 2, 2011 by MoJingly

[polarscribe]

I should ask the department to click on my cow 40,000,000 times.

Also, there's a PHD Comic for that:

Edited February 2, 2011 by polarscribe

[space-cat]

2. Accept the friend request and send 50,573 Farmville requests

Love. It.

[polarscribe]

Postscript: they weren't being cruel. Got an acceptance letter from the school, dated the day before the friending

[MoJingly]

Postscript: they weren't being cruel. Got an acceptance letter from the school, dated the day before the friending

Yay! Congratulations!

So are you accepting the request?

[sjc86]

Congrats!

If you hadn't gotten in, though, it may have felt pretty good to "defriend" them anyway.

Like sending them a rejection letter...

[jaxzwolf]

Dang, now along with my voicemail and email, I'm checking my FB to see if any of my schools have requested my friendship.

[aliciaw]

Great. I just deactivated my Facebook account...

[keymash]

I just had something similar occur -- a very prominent professor in one of the programs I applied to just started following me on twitter. After the immediate freak-out of "oh my god, what were my last five tweets about?" I've been going back and forth about whether or not I should send a DM . . .

[banana21]

Bumping.

I just received a Twitter request from my potential grad school.

I feel like I'm being lulled into a false sense of hope, especially when they will be releasing their admissions results sometime now! To add to that, they deliver this news via postal service only and I live approximately 3 weeks away :/

Anyone else being tortured this way too?

(I checked, no Facebook request :/)

Edited March 7, 2011 by banana21