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It's Saturday and I am staying home so I can check my email.


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How far have I taken the insanity?

(1) Today: it is Saturday and I am staying home so I can keep an eye on my email account.

(2) The other day, after walking home from work, I really had to pee, but decided to check my email account while squirming. Almost wet myself all for nothing but a coupon from Snapfish.com.

(3) I regularly re-read the two acceptance letters I have received so far just to make sure I was not imagining my acceptances the first twenty times I read them.

(4) I dreamt that I was accepted into Yale, but when I went to thank the adcoms personally, I was in Turkey and topless.

(5) I took the GREs in November... but I am still studying for it... without any intentions of retaking them. Seriously. What is wrong with me?

Your turn.

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1. I've actually scheduled work and research around spending hours checking school websites and email (and half-heartedly attempting to justify this by listening to NPR programs to "catch up with the news").

2. I also call my family 3-4 times a day to see if they've gotten anything in the mail.

3. I spent 3 hours last night doing various searches on the results page for when folks in the programs to which I applied got their notices in previous years.

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I added internet onto my cell so I can check my personal email @ work. I check like every 10 minutes. I can access my school email from work, so I just leave it on the screen. If I'm not home by the time the mail comes, I call my 'rents to see if anything came. I can't even sleep well lately because I'm dying for something to come. I had a dream a few nights ago about being rejected from a school that I didn't apply to (?) but then I had a dream I was accepted to my top choice, but then someone called my cell phone and it woke me up. Grrr.

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Most of the day I'm like the "Thinking Man," hunched over and all, except I'm looking at my Blackberry and waiting for the red light in the corner to start blinking.

And then when I realize that the bank is just notifying me that my online statement is ready, or that Zazzle.com has a half-off sale on customizable hats for the next 4 hours--it's then that I turn into Munch's "Scream."

Pretty soon, I'll start playing poker with dogs.

Life imitates art.

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Two nights ago I had a dream that I was accepted to a program that I didnt even apply for. I woke lamenting that fact that I hadnt applied at the last minute, until about an hour later when I remembered the POIs there were not accepting new students.

Last year when applying (for my current masters program) was much better. I was volunteering in Central America and could only check my email 2-3 times a week. The perfect cure for obsessive behavior. However, for my applications this year, I cant help but check even at 2am on a Saturday night...

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