Laziness and loss of drive

[Thales]

I came into graduate school expecting to feel motivated, to work, and to feel satisfied with my work. I'm presently an MA student at a top Canadian research university. I generally like my program, my advisor, and the professors with whom I have had contact. I am also very comfortable at the university (which was also my undergraduate alma mater), and etc. In toher words, everything is great about my department, program, and institution.

I worked hard in my first term and did quite well. I have two classes this semester (rather than four) and am expected to complete a Master's thesis by the end of August. Now, however, I'm finding that I am not motivated to do more than the bare minimum. I've barely yet to begin working on my thesis, and I'm finding that it takes me several times longer than usual to complete my course work. I find that I am easily distracted and there is never enough time to begin with my thesis work.

Is this normal?

Edited February 20, 2011 by Thales

[Thales]

I should mention that I have also considered the possibility that this is a symptom of burnout. I find it strange, however, that this would happen so soon after beginning graduate school.

[wtncffts]

I think it's normal, or at least common. I had a similar experience during my MA program (also at a Canadian university). Not so much with my coursework, which was all completed by the end of my first year, but working on my thesis, there were many times when I was simply bored and unmotivated to do any more on what seemed like something I could never finish. I ended up finishing and submitting it much later than I had originally wanted, such that my MA took more than two years to finish.

Grad school is hard. We were advised not to take more than three courses; taking four would have taken a lot out of you. I'd also suggest that you not put artificial deadlines on yourself, if that's what this is. You need to let the work happen in its own time.

[Thales]

Thank you for the reply.

Actually, my program is structured in such a way that we we were required to take 6 courses and a thesis within 12 months, or 8 courses within 8 months. Unfortunately, I picked the thesis option, which meant that I had to take 4 courses the first term, and 2 the second (along with the expectation that I would be working to complete this thesis). It also doesn't help that my thesis is on a very difficult (forthcoming) topic with very few available primary and secondary sources. I felt sort of pressured to take this route (by my advisor and other people) and now I'm utterly stuck with it. Classes aren't really the problem, but I'm finding myself really bored with the thesis work.

Also, I've decided to ditch the prospect of ever wanting to pursue a PhD. I'm just not certain that I love the "research process" enough. I've applied to several professional programs and I'm continuing to wait for responses from them. Perhaps, that too, has proven itself a distraction from my graduate work.

[Thales]

Anyway, I think its such a shame, since my program is great and I feel that I should be getting so much more out of this experience. At least it's good to have some reassurance that I'm not entirely alone in my sentiments.

[Gravity]

I came into graduate school expecting to feel motivated, to work, and to feel satisfied with my work. I'm presently an MA student at a top Canadian research university. I generally like my program, my advisor, and the professors with whom I have had contact. I am also very comfortable at the university (which was also my undergraduate alma mater), and etc. In toher words, everything is great about my department, program, and institution.

I worked hard in my first term and did quite well. I have two classes this semester (rather than four) and am expected to complete a Master's thesis by the end of August. Now, however, I'm finding that I am not motivated to do more than the bare minimum. I've barely yet to begin working on my thesis, and I'm finding that it takes me several times longer than usual to complete my course work. I find that I am easily distracted and there is never enough time to begin with my thesis work.

Is this normal?

I went through this while writing my thesis, too! I found myself doing dishes and vacuuming (things I hate) rather than working on my thesis. Then I'd sit there and stare at it for hours. Now that I'm out of the M.A. program, I'm amazed at how much more quickly I can get things done because I just do them. I think my problem was I knew that my advisor wasn't going to like what I was about to turn in, so I lost motivation. I was also taking 2 classes, running a lab, and doing a whole bunch of other stuff I didn't have time to do.

Set small goals, like "Write a paragraph before making dinner," or "Read 2 articles before noon" - it worked for me, at least.

[Thales]

Thanks Gravity... seems like a sensible strategy.

[ZeeMore21]

I went through this while writing my thesis, too! I found myself doing dishes and vacuuming (things I hate) rather than working on my thesis. Then I'd sit there and stare at it for hours. Now that I'm out of the M.A. program, I'm amazed at how much more quickly I can get things done because I just do them. I think my problem was I knew that my advisor wasn't going to like what I was about to turn in, so I lost motivation. I was also taking 2 classes, running a lab, and doing a whole bunch of other stuff I didn't have time to do.

Set small goals, like "Write a paragraph before making dinner," or "Read 2 articles before noon" - it worked for me, at least.

Thanks SO much for this advice Gravity...have been struggling with feeling burned out. Just need to get through this semester and I think your plan will work : )

[UnlikelyGrad]

Now, however, I'm finding that I am not motivated to do more than the bare minimum. I've barely yet to begin working on my thesis, and I'm finding that it takes me several times longer than usual to complete my course work. I find that I am easily distracted and there is never enough time to begin with my thesis work.

Is this normal?

I would say that these are common symptoms, but not necessarily "normal" if you mean normal functioning.

The bolded phrases are symptoms of depression. Go to your school's counseling center, if they have one, and talk to someone--they'll help you with coping strategies.

[MoJingly]

What about taking a read through your SOP you used to get into your program? Sometimes being reminded of why you were excited in the first place is a good thing.

I keep a journal that I only write in when I am happy and when things are going well. No negative thoughts. If I am having a particularly rough day I look through my writings and am re-inspired by my initial goals and how many things have gone well.

Exercise helps too

[The Lorax]

I can very much relate to this post. I am currently in the last semester of my MPP, and have applied to and been accepted to a couple of PhD programs. So I know there is more school and more research on the horizon, and I am most definitely jazzed about that. BUT....i can't get motivated here, so close to the end. I jammed through my first three semesters, non-stop and now it takes a lot to drag my butt out of bed. Every morning takes much effort to get me out of the house into the world to deal with my responsibilities.

I'm chalking it up to senioritus, pounding the coffee and doing a lot of yoga. Deep breaths. One day at a time.

[Amalia222]

I emphathized with your situation, T....

After my first year of my MA, I went through a funk like that, for sure. It was the beginning of a dawning realization--that I was in the wrong field, and I was not studying/doing what I really wanted to be doing in life. So maybe what you have to do is some soul-searching. Is it possible that the path you are on something you really, really want to do? Or is it something less severe, like loneliness, or lack of a satisfying social life, that makes your grad school experience seem bland? There are so many factors that play into someone's general happiness, so it's hard to give advice, because you never know what someone is really going through. I can tell you, though, that when I finished my master's, I went off and traveled the world for many years, rather than return to academia. It is only now that I am really more "gung-ho" about coming back. If the magic is gone, I advise looking into what is missing from your life. Is it simply the predictability of life? Maybe you need a summer trip or adventure to recharge your batteries? Just sayin'.

[Thales]

Thanks for the candid replies everyone. It definitely helps to know that I'm not alone in this.

I have considered the possibility that these may be symptoms of depression. The most telling sign for me is that I have really lost interest in my studies, which had never been a problem before. Also, I'm finding that it is often very difficult to get out of bed in the mornings, even after 8-10 hours of sleep. Also, I have developed a number of really self-destructive habits, like unnecessary procrastination that will later cause me undue stress.

Also, a related issue may be that (as mentioned above) I'm not really certain if I want to pursue a career in academia anymore. I have long considered the possibility of attending law school, and that is beginning to look more appealing to me day by day. I just feel really disconnected from what I'm studying and feel that I need to pursue something a little more practical. I applied to several law schools this year and am still awaiting replies. I suppose that waiting through yet another admissions cycle could be distracting from my studies as well...

A vacation would be nice also... some sort of escape..

Edited March 2, 2011 by Thales

[KreacherKeeper]

I came into graduate school expecting to feel motivated, to work, and to feel satisfied with my work. I'm presently an MA student at a top Canadian research university. I generally like my program, my advisor, and the professors with whom I have had contact. I am also very comfortable at the university (which was also my undergraduate alma mater), and etc. In toher words, everything is great about my department, program, and institution.

I worked hard in my first term and did quite well. I have two classes this semester (rather than four) and am expected to complete a Master's thesis by the end of August. Now, however, I'm finding that I am not motivated to do more than the bare minimum. I've barely yet to begin working on my thesis, and I'm finding that it takes me several times longer than usual to complete my course work. I find that I am easily distracted and there is never enough time to begin with my thesis work.

Is this normal?

I can totally relate. I am applying to post MA work and I have 4 classes left to take. 2 of them I like a lot and the other 2, well, not so much. So I find myself working hard for the classes I like and literally doing as much as possible for the others. I have a 4.0 going into this semester and right now, I don't expect it to last (but hopefully I will be admitted to a program by then, maybe?)

In any event, it is after midnight and I have about 3 hours of work to do before going to bed. Instead, I am going to bed and will cram it in sometime early morning.

It is normal, and as you can tell by the number of posts, you are not alone at all...

[MoJingly]

Also, a related issue may be that (as mentioned above) I'm not really certain if I want to pursue a career in academia anymore. I have long considered the possibility of attending law school, and that is beginning to look more appealing to me day by day. I just feel really disconnected from what I'm studying and feel that I need to pursue something a little more practical.

Thales, if you want to go to law school, go to law school. Nothing is written in stone. There's no reason to continue doing something that doesn't kick you in the butt. Research the $^%& out of your possibilities, and then rest assured that once you make a decision, it is the right one.

[Amalia222]

Thales, if you want to go to law school, go to law school. Nothing is written in stone. There's no reason to continue doing something that doesn't kick you in the butt. Research the $^%& out of your possibilities, and then rest assured that once you make a decision, it is the right one.

I have to disagree somewhat with this comment. I think if you've only got 6 months left to go on your MA, finish!!!! You never know if your lack of zip has more to do with depression than dislke of the material. So I recommend getting in done, so you always have it to fall back on. Go into law school later, if that's what you want to do. But I was raised to always finish what I start, so I had to put my 2 cents in here!

[Thales]

I have to disagree somewhat with this comment. I think if you've only got 6 months left to go on your MA, finish!!!! You never know if your lack of zip has more to do with depression than dislke of the material. So I recommend getting in done, so you always have it to fall back on. Go into law school later, if that's what you want to do. But I was raised to always finish what I start, so I had to put my 2 cents in here!

Of course, dropping out isn't an option for me (or even a consideration). I'm only in a Master's porgram, not a PhD. I know that I can manage to get through the next 6 months.

I'm mainly concerned if the above constitute normal doubts, or if they are symptomatic of something festering and more serious.

Edited March 5, 2011 by Thales

[ScreamingHairyArmadillo]

I have drive, but am lazy. A pretty terrible combination, really. Hence the reason I'm up at 3am waiting for ArcGIS to reproject my raster file for the next hour or so. *sigh*

[Gelpfrat the Bold]

I was in an identical-sounding program, and had the exact same experience, as did everyone else I talked to about it. The first semester was extremely demanding, the second slightly less, and then there was just the finishing touch of the thesis over the summer. A third of the way through the second semester I'd decided to take time off before a PhD, and started getting really excited about the prospect of non-academic life in the years to come. I spent days and days "working" but never produced anything because I just didn't feel motivated. I wasn't depressed - I had been more depressed than ever before in my first semester, but by the second I was over it and feeling pretty good. I think it's just a feeling you get at the end of a long, long race, especially if you didn't take any time out between your BA and MA. Also, not having looming applications and feelings of "I NEED TO GET AN A+ ON THIS OR ELSE MY DREAMS WILL BE RUINED" really sap your motivation once you've become used to the constant feeling of scrutiny that goes with being a grad-school applicant. Slow down, take breaks, and complete your work. Appreciate your lack of stress. Acknowledge the accomplishment you've made by completing that stressful first semester, and you'll begin to recognize that this one isn't such a bad situation. Lastly, keep in mind that what's happening to you isn't unusual, and your professors are probably fully aware (and mostly forgiving/understanding) of the phenomenon.

[qbtacoma]

I have drive, but am lazy. A pretty terrible combination, really. Hence the reason I'm up at 3am waiting for ArcGIS to reproject my raster file for the next hour or so. *sigh*

I do that too! I'm working on a research project right now for someone else and I haven't done hardly any work on it when I'm not exhausted - too stressed to sleep, but too tempted by other daytime activities to work on the damn thing.

[Thales]

Wow. This is really more common than I expected. I think my situation is in large part due to my uncertainty about the future and because I am still waiting on the results of my current law school applications. I remember having a similar loss of motivation in the final semester of my undergraduate degree.

[GrandeChaiLatte]

I came into graduate school expecting to feel motivated, to work, and to feel satisfied with my work. I'm presently an MA student at a top Canadian research university. I generally like my program, my advisor, and the professors with whom I have had contact. I am also very comfortable at the university (which was also my undergraduate alma mater), and etc. In toher words, everything is great about my department, program, and institution.

I worked hard in my first term and did quite well. I have two classes this semester (rather than four) and am expected to complete a Master's thesis by the end of August. Now, however, I'm finding that I am not motivated to do more than the bare minimum. I've barely yet to begin working on my thesis, and I'm finding that it takes me several times longer than usual to complete my course work. I find that I am easily distracted and there is never enough time to begin with my thesis work.

Is this normal?

Yes, it is normal. Procrastination is a sign of several things: anxiety, stress, burnout. When was the last time you took a vacation? If you don't have much time, try taking just a full weekend off to go somewhere. Anywhere, just to be outside and forget about work. Anticipating the trip will help you set goals, and when you get back, make sure you have enough time to rest and recover. You will feel refreshed mentally and emotionally.

[theatrehippie]

I had this problem during my senior year of undergrad while working on my honors thesis. I was confused and frustrated by my advisor, and annoyed that it wasn't going easily for me. I've always been excellent at close reading, explicating, etc, but actual academic research in literature (Shakespeare, specifically), drove me crazy. As I've heard others say, graduate study is about the creation of knowledge, whereas undergrad largely is composed as the consumption of knowledge. Let's just say that I will absorb the knowledge that others produce, but that I am not quite so gifted at producing myself. The process made me realize that as much as I loved being an undergraduate English major, I was not cut out for a masters or PhD in English. Now I'll be starting a program that is primarily professional with some research elements, and I am really excited.

[natsteel]

It also doesn't help that my thesis is on a very difficult (forthcoming) topic with very few available primary and secondary sources.

This is a common issue when choosing a thesis or dissertation topic. I am assuming you are in history or some related field. One of the keys to finishing a dissertation or thesis (and I've had this stressed to me by advisors at both undergrad and graduate level) is to pick a manageable topic. That is, pick a narrow, manageable topic for which there are enough primary sources, to which you will have relatively easy access.

Is it too late to switch your topic to something more manageable and with more readily available primary sources?

[sousrature]

I know the OP posted quite a while ago, but I wonder if, in addition to being in the wrong program, etc., part of the procrastination is a response to any sort of "I have to blah blah blah" mentality? I recommend a book called "why we do what we do" by Edward Deci.

My own experience is that I grew up internalizing all the "you must" and "you have to" and "there is no other option." I did well in a number of things that I really loved and still love. But as I get older and becomes more convinced that life is not about accumulating accomplishments, my urge to subvert all the "you must" outgrows my ability to self-discipline. I am now in an MA program, in a field (let's call it field that is entirely unrelated to my trainings as an undergrad and through my first master's. My first year, first masters in field A I experienced exactly the same thing as OP. By the end of that year, I became fully convinced that I was in the wrong field, and decided to go into field B. My second year of master's in field A was the best year ever as I apply to programs in field B, because at that point, filed A was no longer something I must do. My growth in that one year in field A was incredible. I started the MA in field B, and as soon as the novelty wears off, I find myself in exactly the same place two years ago, feeling uncertain about field B, except now I am also toying with the idea of going back to field A. I spent two months in a funk, thinking that I was depressed, and simultaneously feeling very guilty about not devoting entirely to field B and very sad about leaving field A, and I spent a lot of hours trying to figure out how to get back to field A.

And you know what? I made an official commitment to keeping one foot in field A a while ago. As soon as that happens, I stopped daydreaming about going back to A. In fact now I have little motivation to go through with that commitment. It revealed to me that my aversion to any external "have" "music" "absolutely" is so strong it will, and it does, get in the way of my intrinsic motivation. So I stopped worrying about any sort of "as a grad student in B you have to do this and that and you must be blah blah and yada yada" and just did my thing. And it worked.