1st week and I'm already exhausted! Just me?

[lyonessrampant]

This last week was my orientation week, and I spent the whole thing feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It seemed like everyone in my cohort felt similarly, though. Being in a new place and trying to get familiar with your new surroundings is really stressful in and of itself. We also got to our new house a couple days before starting orientation and have spent the time moving in, unpacking, buying furniture, putting things together, etc. Anyway, my point is to say that I think we're all feeling this way and will feel a lot better in a couple of weeks. As for the family situation wtncffts, I would say hang in there and see what each day brings. If things get really bad, your program may let you take a leave to go home if needed. I know my program has that as an option, so maybe check into that in case it becomes needed. Best of luck to everyone on this process of acclimation!

[wtncffts]

Thanks fuzzy and lyoness for those words, they really mean a lot. I'm certain that I'll look back on this time and wish I had this much idle time. As for the family situation, it probably won't involve me having to go home, unless things take a bad turn, but it's hard to shake the feeling of abandonment and guilt. But I've no choice but to soldier on, so that I shall!

[StrangeLight]

the same thing happened to me when i moved 3000 miles for undergrad. the instant i connected my computer to the campus's network, it was loaded with viruses that shut it down almost immediately. there was a bit of a crisis back home that i could do nothing about, and i had no way of getting in touch with people (i didn't have a cell phone either) unless i went to the library. after a few fits of crying, mostly out of frustration, things were better on all fronts in a week or two. my best advice is to let yourself feel whatever you're feeling (abandoned, guilty, whatever) and then, once you've felt it, let it go. throw a fit, sob, punch an inanimate object, then breathe deeply and move on. there really isn't much else you can do at the moment and that isn't your fault.

as for general feelings of being overwhelmed, every new student experiences it. even returning to classes after the summer off, you'll feel overwhelmed getting back into your old work flow. it happens to all of us. everyone has different time/energy management strategies, but i've found that slowing every other part of my life down (such as catching the bus that leaves 20-30 minutes earlier than i need, taking leisurely walks on my way to the coffee shop to start work, browsing the record store for an hour before heading home, taking a break to clean up my work surfaces) has helped me move through my books/writing a lot faster and with less stress. i used to plan my time down to the hour thinking i was maximizing my efficiency, but instead i just felt rushed all the time. giving myself more time to get from A to B and do the little things throughout the day has made a huge difference in how busy i feel, even though i'm still getting as much done as i used to.

Edited September 5, 2011 by StrangeLight

[UnlikelyGrad]

It's perfectly normal (and perfectly OK) to be homesick. I pushed myself hard to connect with other students in my cohort on orientation day (I'm a serious introvert) just so I could have *some* feeling of connection. Luckily, it only took a few days of intensive effort to make a couple of friends, and then I made more once classes etc. started up.

And yes, being without internet at home is terrible. I've had to endure 2 separate periods of no-internet-at-home since starting grad school. It wasn't so much that I'm addicted to the net (I am, but not *that* addicted) as it was that I was unable to talk to/communicate with the people who really mattered--my family, and my friends back in the place I used to live who are almost as close as family.

Humans have evolved to be social creatures--yes, even introverts! The lack of such connections *is* painful. Luckily, we are also resilient and do form new connections eventually. Hang in there: things will improve.

[nehs]

In the same boat, but wouldn't have it any other way. We moved cross-country, and it's something exciting for both of us to face these new challenges together. Definitely has made our relationship stronger.

Sure she probably gets sick of me b!tching about my cohort, etc, but at least she pretends like she's listening! Oh, and statistically those that are married are more likely to finish their PhD.

well, true..I would not have it any other way ! But , that said, I must admit this whole school thing leaves me very stressed at the end of the day. I'm not in a PhD program, in the MS program, so do the statistcs change now ?

[indorichai]

Let's see, I moved into an apartment complex full of drug dealers and loud banging against the wall at 3 in the morning, almost got my car towed the first day and ran as fast as I could to stop the tow truck, almost everyone that I've encountered at school have not been as cordial to me like I thought, eh...I guess it could be worse.

As far as my apartment goes, I did take a look at it back in June but the community seemed quiet so I was shocked when I actually moved in. The property manager moved me into another building which is a lot better and filled with people that are nice to me. As far as my car goes, I'm not an irresponsible person, but I really could not see a sign saying that it was private property!

I can't stand the undergrads on campus, especially guys. It's like they all walk around with a sign saying "Hey, I'm a total douchebag" on their foreheads. I go to Florida State University by the way. So far I'm loving the program, but I don't like the city. I'm taking 12 credit hours right now and it really is taking up almost all of my time! I still need to find a part-time job, I got accepted too late to get a TA position.

[qbtacoma]

I had a scheduling crisis this first week which really wiped me out. Background: I needed to pass a translation exam in Spanish to get my language requirement out of the way so I could start learning Chinese for my research. However, I was very nervous for the test and had no idea if I would pass it, though I was assured by many that it was not *that* difficult. As a result, I didn't register for Chinese because there was a possibility that I would have to continue with Spanish until I passed the exam.

Well, once I passed the translation exam and looked into Chinese course offerings, I realized that 1) they were all filled up with massive waitlists, and 2) every single section offered intersected with a class I already had. Wednesday was pretty intense: I was fairly sure that I wouldn't be admitted into a Chinese section, since I would be a hassle for the professor, thereby delaying my progress by a year. Plus, I had my first chat with one of my informal advisors, and he really ripped into my proposed course of study. (Nicely. And he's right that my ideas are currently ill-conceived.) It really took the wind out of my sails.

Also, I have an application for grants due really soon, in which I have to basically outline a plausible proposal for my thesis. I didn't expect to do this so soon - in fact, I was counting on having some time to actually, you know, find out what happened in my area. But now I need to come up with a theoretically robust proposal. Gah!

However, at least I'm in Chinese now. I was so exhausted on Wednesday that I came home and slept for 12 hours.

[StrangeLight]

oh dear. qbt, make your way to koerner's pub in the grad house and drink. a lot. go look at coed breasts and naked homeless men on wreck beach. you'll be fine.

[ktel]

My first week has been super busy! As was the week before. But I think I'm coping really well, considering when I moved to Germany last summer I did not cope so well. I can totally understand how lack of internet can add to stress. When I went to Germany after 36 hours of travel I got to my destination to discover that the Internet was hard-wired, not wifi. Luckily someone had a cable so I could talk to my family when I got there.

Between rugby practice, games, moving into my new apartment, meetings and orientations, I have little time for much else. Thank goodness for my boyfriend but we don't even get to see each other that much (to be expected, he's working full time and I'm in grad school). I feel like I have a TON of stuff to learn, but I think that is the case when you enter a Master's program like mine. Not that many people learn CFD algorithms and optimization on their undergrad.

I'm finding playing varsity rugby to be very helpful. I have a network of people to help me out with finding where I need to go and some instant friends. Plus I've been playing really well which is a confidence booster.

[Eigen]

Our second week back was punctuated by me having to take two days off to plan and get everything together for our department BBQ.... Then a bomb threat forcing an evacuation our half of the campus just prior to it starting.

And there are way too many undergrads back on campus. It's always a shock to go from the quiet summer to the campus jam-packed with gaggles of undergrads who are all in too much of a hurry and don't watch where they're going. I think I'm going to start working nights.

[UnlikelyGrad]

And there are way too many undergrads back on campus. It's always a shock to go from the quiet summer to the campus jam-packed with gaggles of undergrads who are all in too much of a hurry and don't watch where they're going. I think I'm going to start working nights.

Heavens, yes. Also, I can't find parking any more because the undergrads are parking in front of the chemistry building again.

[Eigen]

And, our internet connection has dropped through the floor with the increased load, as always.

Thankfully, our only daytime parking is Faculty.... But now I can't find any parking at night when I come in, since all the undergrads are using it to park and go to the library/clubbing right off campus.

[msw2013]

I haven't had a feeling of overwhelming yet which is possibly because I was looking foward to coming to school. I look forward to the workload and it doesn't seem to be that much surprisingly. My undergraduate college prepared me for what I am going to be doing.

[runonsentence]

And there are way too many undergrads back on campus. It's always a shock to go from the quiet summer to the campus jam-packed with gaggles of undergrads who are all in too much of a hurry and don't watch where they're going. I think I'm going to start working nights.

Yep. I always forget just how many there really are until they come flooding back.

[eco_env]

No internet inside my apartment, filthy old apartment in a somewhat unsavory neighborhood, railroad and highway behind my building waking me up at night, no car and tons of errands to run (and I'm not even sure where to find the places I need to get to), missing paperwork to open a bank account, hot weather every day, while fall is starting back home, and no friends or family nearby to help or provide some company. On the one hand, I want classes to start so I can meet some people and get away from my apartment, on the other hand, I don't know how well I'd be able to focus on coursework while I'm adjusting to all the other changes in my life.

[indorichai]

No internet inside my apartment, filthy old apartment in a somewhat unsavory neighborhood, railroad and highway behind my building waking me up at night, no car and tons of errands to run (and I'm not even sure where to find the places I need to get to), missing paperwork to open a bank account, hot weather every day, while fall is starting back home, and no friends or family nearby to help or provide some company. On the one hand, I want classes to start so I can meet some people and get away from my apartment, on the other hand, I don't know how well I'd be able to focus on coursework while I'm adjusting to all the other changes in my life.

You'll be okay I'm kinda in the same boat as you, but I'm not too far from my home. This may sound annoyingly optimistic, but my apartment complex has a bunch of low-income families and usually they don't take care of their kids or help them with their homework after school. I decided to implement an after school free tutoring session at the office since some of the kids go there to play on computers. I've talked this out to the managers and they thought it was a great idea! It gives me more incentive for to stay (and plus I"m doing my masters in education). Turn something into a positive. Although I think a lot of the people I've been in Tallahassee, FL are douchebags, I'm glad that I have a lot of schoolwork that will make me antisocial. I know I won't be in Florida for that long (like less than a year really), so I don't mind being lonely for the time being. Also, Tallahassee has a lot of parks, so every weekend I'll try and have my nice, lonely walk around the park and it's actually quite nice. I've been so busy for much of my life that rarely do I get to walk in a park alone or be alone.

I've also tried making friends in my department, but it seems like everyone else is into their own lives and not willing to branch out. In undergrad it was so easy to meet new people and mingle, but you'll see that most people in my classes are married or something and they are less willing to meet people and hang out.

Also, try www.couchsurfing.org, it's a website where you can "surf" on people's couches but you can also meet people by going to the group of the city that you're in. Some cities will usually hold couchsurfing meetups. I'm gong to one in Tallahassee next Sunday.

Anyways, I hope I made you feel somewhat better!