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0% Confidence of Acceptance


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Hello, my home for the rest of forever. This week I'm 0/3 (apparently) and, oh, look at a that -- they were my top three choices.

Anyone else regretting even applying? I feel like it was a stupid, foolish dream that I'm only waking up from now.

Based on my post before yours, I'm right there with ya. I'm feeling deliciously cynical about the entire process. I probably need to lock myself in a room for a couple months, make sure nothing comes across in the way of accepts/waitlists, and then just move on (because otherwise my cynicism will generate unhappy blog material that is better left unsaid).

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What I can't believe is that people work up the energy and enthusiasm year after to year to reapply if they don't get in the first (or second, or third...) time around. I can't possibly imagine putting myself through this again unless I get a Master's under my belt first. I guess it's kind of like endurance running of the mind...

Edited by antecedant
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What I can't believe is that people work up the energy and enthusiasm year after to year to reapply if they don't get in the first (or second, or third...) time around. I can't possibly imagine putting myself through this again unless I get a Master's under my belt first. I guess it's kind of like endurance running of the mind...

I imagine it's a little like how people claim that mothers forget the pain of birth. (I should say- at least I'm hoping that's the case)

Edited by Ablukhov
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The one thing that's made me feel marginally okay throughout this process has been the continual affirmation provided by the results board that, really, the numbers don't matter. I see numbers much higher than mine getting rejected, lower getting accepted, and just about everything in between. Of course, there's a line that's drawn at some point--invisible or otherwise--but really, as long as you're in that "okay but not necessarily great" place number-wise, it really does all boil down to the real stuff: writing sample, SOP, and fit, fit, fit.

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The one thing that's made me feel marginally okay throughout this process has been the continual affirmation provided by the results board that, really, the numbers don't matter. I see numbers much higher than mine getting rejected, lower getting accepted, and just about everything in between. Of course, there's a line that's drawn at some point--invisible or otherwise--but really, as long as you're in that "okay but not necessarily great" place number-wise, it really does all boil down to the real stuff: writing sample, SOP, and fit, fit, fit.

Yes, I agree. I had the feeling that my application this year was just not ready. I'm finishing my MA this semester with an independent study and I really think the process of applying, waiting, and most of all, reading the GradCafe board has helped me define my independent study course toward my ultimate scholarly goals. I'm deperate to "know" more than to get in, I think, as it will change my March/April plans considerably and I'll write my final paper for the indy study as a writing sample for next year rather than attempt to publish in response to calls for papers.

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I think what I've learned is that, despite what I've heard from some profs/other students, an MA is really, really helpful in defining and focusing your academic interests as well as just getting the postgraduate experience. I'm feeling much more confident about my decision to apply for three (soon to be four) MAs and only one PhD.

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If I do not get in anywhere, I am not trying again next year. I already paid $1000 to prepare everything, and the amount of stress it has put on my body is priceless. I already have a faculty job and an MFA. I said to hell with it, if I don't get in. I know my research is part of a pretty groundbreaking effort to make theatre a necessity and not just an accessory to culture. So, I will just do it on my own or wait two years and apply to cultural studies programs completely outside of the world of theatre.

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The one thing that's made me feel marginally okay throughout this process has been the continual affirmation provided by the results board that, really, the numbers don't matter. I see numbers much higher than mine getting rejected, lower getting accepted, and just about everything in between. Of course, there's a line that's drawn at some point--invisible or otherwise--but really, as long as you're in that "okay but not necessarily great" place number-wise, it really does all boil down to the real stuff: writing sample, SOP, and fit, fit, fit.

If you want classic evidence of that, my subject test score is 530. That is proof that it doesn't mean anything.

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If you want classic evidence of that, my subject test score is 530. That is proof that it doesn't mean anything.

My subject was lower than that, and my verbal was unimpressive. And I'm not being self-deprecating.

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There are very few universal truths in scholarship but these two: the Lit Subject test 1.) is unnecessary, 2.) costs 160 bucks. I'm so greatful for the Lit Subject test, for the power it has to bring us together across our respective, fragmented subfields.

Edited by Grunty DaGnome
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If it makes anyone feel any better, my GRE scores were not "matched" with Berkeley and probably never even looked at my app b/c it was incomplete. They said GRE scores don't matter, but if I had called and asked questions sooner, I feel like I might have had a shot. I was blaming ETS when it was Berkeley who didn't match them. All I can pray is that GRE scores really don't matter. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Oh, bless you both TripWillis and Timshel. My subject was a 550. I studied quite a bit for it too, even printed out a binder full of notes and read it all more than once, but I knew it was going to be rough. I took the test on a Saturday in California. The day before the test I was in New York at CUNY Grad Center for a conference. ETS wouldn't let me change the test location so I had to fly back that Friday night, all the way across the country, for this stupid thing. It was my first time visiting the East Coast too. I was there for a whopping two days. Thank you, ETS! :rolleyes:

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Oh, bless you both TripWillis and Timshel. My subject was a 550. I studied quite a bit for it too, even printed out a binder full of notes and read it all more than once, but I knew it was going to be rough. I took the test on a Saturday in California. The day before the test I was in New York at CUNY Grad Center for a conference. ETS wouldn't let me change the test location so I had to fly back that Friday night, all the way across the country, for this stupid thing. It was my first time visiting the East Coast too. I was there for a whopping two days. Thank you, ETS! :rolleyes:

I studied an absurd amount for that stupid, meaningless little test, but, quite frankly, there is just very little on that test that has anything remotely do with my chosen fields of interest.

Here's my story: I started studying 6 months beforehand, did the Princeton Review book, did the practice test, got a 530, made about 500 flash cards, read a large bulk of the norton anthology of English lit, memorized many poems, many names of Greek and Roman deities, recorded all my flash cards and a few select poems as audio files on my computer and listened to it on the subway every day for 2 months, took another practice test, got a 530, crammed the whole week before, took the test and... surprise of all surprises! 530! (I did however go 165/6.0 on V/W)

Simultaneously, I did about 12 drafts of my basic SoP and 6 or 7 drafts of my writing sample. I also read about 25 journal articles and 10 books related to my thesis and my field to try to upgrade my writing sample to publishable quality. That stuff has, apparently, really paid off. The 6 months studying for the subject test? Almost a complete waste of my time.

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I studied an absurd amount for that stupid, meaningless little test, but, quite frankly, there is just very little on that test that has anything remotely do with my chosen fields of interest.

Here's my story: I started studying 6 months beforehand, did the Princeton Review book, did the practice test, got a 530, made about 500 flash cards, read a large bulk of the norton anthology of English lit, memorized many poems, many names of Greek and Roman deities, recorded all my flash cards and a few select poems as audio files on my computer and listened to it on the subway every day for 2 months, took another practice test, got a 530, crammed the whole week before, took the test and... surprise of all surprises! 530! (I did however go 165/6.0 on V/W)

Simultaneously, I did about 12 drafts of my basic SoP and 6 or 7 drafts of my writing sample. I also read about 25 journal articles and 10 books related to my thesis and my field to try to upgrade my writing sample to publishable quality. That stuff has, apparently, really paid off. The 6 months studying for the subject test? Almost a complete waste of my time.

You got into CUNY? Congrats!

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Simultaneously, I did about 12 drafts of my basic SoP and 6 or 7 drafts of my writing sample. I also read about 25 journal articles and 10 books related to my thesis and my field to try to upgrade my writing sample to publishable quality. That stuff has, apparently, really paid off.

That's a reassuring post, TripWillis. I see three acceptances so far for you and you attribute it much more to, likely, the strength of your writing sample and SOP. I have not been accepted anywhere as of yet, but I put a LOT of effort into those two aspects of my application and if I get shutout... at least I can live with knowing I did my best on that which was directly under my control.

Congrats, by the way! I've been lurking for months. It's good to see you staples of the forum having some ships come in :)

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Then you'll get the post-decision blahs after you decide which school to attend, even if it's your dream school. But everyone does, and it doesn't last.

Wow, ok. I'm kind of sick of being obssessed over this stuff, you know? I'm going on a week-long binge of pure, unadulterated debauchery, just so that I won't have to think anymore about this. Or about relationships that are on their last wheels--the swan song seems to keep goin' and goin'. It's hurting my ears.

Edited by Aztecson23
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So, despite getting an acceptance, I am still in an irrational state of mind. I have already received 2 emails from Riverside about my acceptance, funding, etc.,but I just noticed I have a missed call from a number from Riverside (with no voice mail) and my immediate reaction to my husband was, oh my god, what if they are calling to tell me there was a mistake and I didn't get in?!

Edited by Timshel
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So, despite getting an acceptance, I am still in an irrational state of mind. I have already received 2 emails from Riverside about my acceptance, funding, etc.,but I just noticed I have a missed call from a number from Riverside (with no voice mail) and my immediate reaction to my husband was, oh my god, what if they are calling to tell me there was a mistake and I didn't get in?!

I keep looking at my e-mail from CUNY to try to figure out if it's a prank from someone.

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