Death of an Application?

[cquin]

So.

My professor fervently promised to write a glowing LOR for me a few months back. I've been struggling with him since, as he has been a bit slow to actually, y'know, write the damn thing. Last Tuesday was my last night of class so I spoke with him and emphasized how important it is that he please not flake out on me. He swore up and down that he'd come through, albeit a little late (I've already contacted my schools and explained that one of my letters would be late, so that's covered). Our conversation ended on a good note and we agreed to meet up sometime later that week.

Except now I haven't heard from him since that night, despite sending an email AND calling his office and leaving a message. I understand the man is busy with end of the semester stuff, but this is ridiculous. I am literally losing sleep worrying about what I would do if he just doesn't write a letter for me. Will schools immediately disregard my application? Will this whole process be for naught? I've worked way too hard for this to be bust because of something out of my control.

So, assuming he doesn't come through, wtf can I or should I do? Or is this a lost cause? I want to fucking break down and cry when I think of that. Ughhhhh.

[orangeMan]

Find someone who keeps his/her word to write the letter. Rockstar academics are too busy with their stuff, conferences, journal articles, government jobs, etc.

[Mistral]

A late letter probably won't be a problem at most schools. (Even a few weeks late - especially since you let them know.) No letter might be a problem, but it sounds like he will actually submit a letter at some point. That would make me very anxious and frustrated, too. I hope he sends it for you soon. Do you have someone else who would be sympathetic of your last-minute dilemma and willing to write a strong letter?

[souslespaves]

one of my professors submitted my letter of recommendation 2-3 days after most of my deadlines, and it didn't affect my results at all. (but yes, i totally lost my mind!) i think most committees wait for spring semester to start before they start looking at applications.

[lolopixie]

Don't despair! He is going to send them in. I don't know why they wait until the last second...or later...when we give them months notice. My last ones were submitted today, yes before deadlines, but I sent out emails in September and had all the forms out to the professors by October. Two and a half months to send these is a little absurd.

[emmm]

At this point, he may or may not send the letters -- he has given you no reason to think his word is reliable. You need to find a backup writer asap. If he does end up sending the letters, fine; you'll have more than you need. Better than being one short. Find someone you think would be willing to do you a BIG favor, and go see him/her. At this point, it doesn't matter if this person is in the right field, a part-timer, whatever -- just that he/she will write and send out the letters.

[cquin]

Thanks, everyone. I finally heard back from him today--apparently there was a death in his family and he's been insanely busy (is it awful that I still have my doubts as to the veracity of that explanation?). He reassured me that he was still going to write my letter, and we agreed to meet up this Friday. I'm still feeling stressed, though, and I think I'll follow your advice, emmm, and reach out to another prof as a back up.

[rawera]

What a thread title considering the situation.

[user_name]

make is all mob-like...."i'd hate for there to be another death in your family"

[ktel]

I think I'll follow your advice, emmm, and reach out to another prof as a back up.

Just be careful how you do this. Professors talk. Don't want to be accidentally badmouthing a prof (especially if he did just have a death in the family)

[lolopixie]

make is all mob-like...."i'd hate for there to be another death in your family"

YES!

[Sigaba]

(is it awful that I still have my doubts as to the veracity of that explanation?)

I think your lingering doubts provide an opportunity for intense self-examination. At best, your anxieties are sparking behavior and thoughts that may not serve your interests.

[cquin]

Just be careful how you do this. Professors talk. Don't want to be accidentally badmouthing a prof (especially if he did just have a death in the family)

Oh, no, I have no intention of badmouthing him at all. I just think it may be in my best interest to contact another prof and put out some feelers.

make is all mob-like...."i'd hate for there to be another death in your family"

Oh god...bahaha.

[cquin]

I think your lingering doubts provide an opportunity for intense self-examination. At best, your anxieties are sparking behavior and thoughts that may not serve your interests.

Hmm, in what sense?

[antecedent]

I had a similar problem occur much earlier in the application season. I asked my profs right before I graduated in May if they would write for me in September and all three gave me an enthusiastic yes. Come September, I emailed them information packets about each program, and I got an auto response back saying one prof had since been diagnosed with a very serious illness and wasn't checking email regularly. I immediately replied telling her not to worry about it and take care of herself, and then asked another prof, but my recently diagnosed professor insisted she was well enough to write. In the end, I had to weigh whether it was worth telling a prof "no, nevermind, please DON'T write for me", whether allowing my ill prof to continue writing was rude or somehow unethical of me, or if I should accept the good luck that there were four professors at my university who were willing to write for me. I went with the latter, and it reduced a lot of stress in the end. I have no idea how it will look to adcoms, but I'm hoping it will reflect well and not poorly.

So yeah, that's my two cents. In this game, it's always safer to cover your ass, and no one is going to disqualify you for having four letters in the event that everyone pulls through.

[Timshel]

I had a similar problem occur much earlier in the application season. I asked my profs right before I graduated in May if they would write for me in September and all three gave me an enthusiastic yes. Come September, I emailed them information packets about each program, and I got an auto response back saying one prof had since been diagnosed with a very serious illness and wasn't checking email regularly. I immediately replied telling her not to worry about it and take care of herself, and then asked another prof, but my recently diagnosed professor insisted she was well enough to write. In the end, I had to weigh whether it was worth telling a prof "no, nevermind, please DON'T write for me", whether allowing my ill prof to continue writing was rude or somehow unethical of me, or if I should accept the good luck that there were four professors at my university who were willing to write for me. I went with the latter, and it reduced a lot of stress in the end. I have no idea how it will look to adcoms, but I'm hoping it will reflect well and not poorly.

So yeah, that's my two cents. In this game, it's always safer to cover your ass, and no one is going to disqualify you for having four letters in the event that everyone pulls through.

Well....... Some of my programs allowed 4, so I thought since I had 4 willing people, I would just see if it was okay to send all of them to the other programs that said 3. Most said they would only read the first 3 they received, but a couple said that under no circumstance should I send more than 3 because they barely have enough time to read through the 3 they already have and that it would reflect poorly on me...so I would be careful........I'm only speaking from what I was told by specific programs, though.

Edited December 20, 2011 by Timshel

[rawera]

So cover your ass but be sure to cover your ass at the same time. Yeah, sounds about right.

[antecedent]

Well....... Some of my programs allowed 4, so I thought since I had 4 willing people, I would just see if it was okay to send all of them to the other programs that said 3. Most said they would only read the first 3 they received, but a couple said that under no circumstance should I sent more than 3 because they barely have enough time to read through the 3 they already have and that it would reflect poorly on me...so I would be careful........I'm only speaking from what I was told by specific programs, though.

I contacted all of the programs to see if they would even accept the fourth letter, and they all said they would with no mention of how it would reflect on my application. Like I said...at the time it seemed like the best recourse but I hope it doesn't come back to haunt me later.

So cover your ass but be sure to cover your ass at the same time. Yeah, sounds about right.

Haha yup. Realistically either way you're in for some angst and stress, so pick one and hope for the best!