Growing Up

[indorichai]

I'm sitting in my bedroom at my parent's house on New Years Day (Happy New Years everyone!) at 1:36 AM wondering why has life suddenly become so gray? Exactly 3 years ago I went to a party in NYC (that took place at a building in Brooklyn that used to be a jail, but it was filled with acrobats and all sorts of fun stuff!) and it was the best time I've ever had. I like to go out sometimes (well, it also depends on where I go), but I feel like as I get older (I'm 27 years old), going out or just having fun is considered uncool. By "going out," I don't necessarily mean going to a club and getting drunk; but instead just getting together and enjoying whatever it is that we're doing.

I went to Spain for five months through a study abroad program and one thing that I liked about the people that I met there was that they were able to go out and enjoy life even at an older age. I would meet people in their 40's enjoying a beer and talking to people of all ages. It was great and I miss that openness.

I've taken out a loan for graduate school and since I did not have enough money to drive to NYC from Florida, I decided to just visit my parents in GA instead. I still have some friends (who are in graduate school and medical school) that are in the hometown that I grew up and some of them just wanted to stay in for NYE and watch a movie or sleep. There were fireworks going off everywhere in my neighborhood! The sky is clear and the stars are out! When has being in graduate school and getting older become synonymous with not appreciating the small beauties in life?

[waddle]

When has being in graduate school and getting older become synonymous with not appreciating the small beauties in life?

It doesn't have to be that way! I sometimes walk across campus at an odd hour and appreciate that I have it all to myself. And when I walk across campus during the day and it's crowded, I try to think that there are so many nameless people just like me!

[Agradatudent]

It doesn't have to be that way! I sometimes walk across campus at an odd hour and appreciate that I have it all to myself. And when I walk across campus during the day and it's crowded, I try to think that there are so many nameless people just like me!

careful with that, that's how you get mugged

[robot_hamster]

Oh gosh yes, I'm scared to walk on campus by myself at night.

You know, new year's eve has never been that much fun for me. There just isn't much to do around here. I don't care too much for loud drunk people, so we don't go out to bars or anything like that. Besides, those places are uncomfortably cramped. No one I know throws parties. My house isn't great for parties since it's the size of a shoebox. ***sigh***

I don't think you have to grow up though. If you want to go out, then go out. It isn't uncool to be 27 and hanging out at a bar. Maybe you just need to look around a little harder to find a crowd or atmosphere that is a better fit for you.

[poeteer]

I'm around your age, and for the most part people still treat me as if I am "youngish." I think this is a transitional age -- you've crossed the 25 line but you haven't reached 30. Some of your friends will feel that desire (or pressure) to "grow up," and will begin (for example) having children and buying houses, but that doesn't mean you have to do so. Some of my friends my age (or even younger) act "older" than I do, while some of my friends in their mid-thirties act "younger" than I do. But certainly at 27 you should be able to find someone willing to stay out on NYE with you, for god's sake. You're still allowed to go to a Brooklyn jail party, if you want to. Most 25-35 year olds I know still go out and have fun (bars, concerts, bowling, whatever) at least once a week, but usually more often than that. At least the ones who are still childless. Find your crowd.

Edited January 7, 2012 by poeteer

[geochic]

At least the ones who are still childless. Find your crowd.

Oh my goodness. I'm a mother with two kids, in my early 30s and I go out at least one night a week. Karaoke, dancing, live music, comedy clubs, bowling, house parties, texas hold'em with friends, etc... Grad school, adulthood, and, yes even kids do not = bland. If I didn't do something exciting weekly I'd probably shoot myself. Seriously. Live the way you want to live and if you can't get any of your friends to join you, make new friends. That's what I'm doing and I'm finding more and more new and fun things to spend my time doing, and I've made a ton of new friends recently.

Edited January 7, 2012 by geochic

[poeteer]

Oh my goodness. I'm a mother with two kids, in my early 30s and I go out at least one night a week. Karaoke, dancing, live music, comedy clubs, bowling, house parties, texas hold'em with friends, etc... Grad school, adulthood, and, yes even kids do not = bland. If I didn't do something exciting weekly I'd probably shoot myself. Seriously. Live the way you want to live and if you can't get any of your friends to join you, make new friends. That's what I'm doing and I'm finding more and more new and fun things to spend my time doing, and I've made a ton of new friends recently.

I didn't mean to imply that people with kids don't have fun or are bland. Just that, in my observation, the few twenty-somethings I know with a child tend to go out less often and come home earlier (and drink a lot less alcohol) than their peers who have yet to make such a conscious decision to enter adulthood, because they have a responsibility. Many 25-30 year olds still act (and party) as if they're in college.

[long_time_lurker]

Oh my goodness. I'm a mother with two kids, in my early 30s and I go out at least one night a week. Karaoke, dancing, live music, comedy clubs, bowling, house parties, texas hold'em with friends, etc... Grad school, adulthood, and, yes even kids do not = bland. If I didn't do something exciting weekly I'd probably shoot myself. Seriously. Live the way you want to live and if you can't get any of your friends to join you, make new friends. That's what I'm doing and I'm finding more and more new and fun things to spend my time doing, and I've made a ton of new friends recently.

Just curious since I have a little one on the way - how did you find childcare you can trust/afford? I agree with you, but I'm wondering how I'm going to make it work.

[juilletmercredi]

the few twenty-somethings I know with a child tend to go out less often and come home earlier (and drink a lot less alcohol) than their peers who have yet to make such a conscious decision to enter adulthood, because they have a responsibility. Many 25-30 year olds still act (and party) as if they're in college

Having a child isn't making a "conscious decision to enter adulthood," and not having children is not "yet to having made" that conscious decision. Entering adulthood is not a conscious decision, anyway; it's the result of years of maturing and different people interprent that differently. I'm 25, and I'm definitely an adult despit not having children. I still like to drink and party and dance with friends, go to concerts and play games at people's houses. Yet getting blackout drunk and passing out or crashing on someone's couch are not as appealing to me as they were when I was in college, nor is partying until 4 or 5 am (I tend to go home around 2).

If you have a crowd that doesn't like to go out and party, you maybe need to find a new crowd? I had the same problem, but I got a new job on campus with a slightly younger group of grad students (I was in the youngest in my grad cohort, but in this group I'm actually on the older end) and I found my niche with them.

[geochic]

Just curious since I have a little one on the way - how did you find childcare you can trust/afford? I agree with you, but I'm wondering how I'm going to make it work.

I have three local resources. My mother, who takes my boys on Friday nights most weeks and I have two babysitters (one of which I picked from several young ladies who responded to an ad I ran on craigslist, and another who is a longtime friend of the family and wonderfully reliable) who I can call for special events. I'd recommend getting to know other parents in your area and seeing if they have trustworthy sitters they can recommend. As far as rates go, some folks charge an arm and a leg and some people don't. I offered these two babysitters what I could afford (which is not a lot) and they accepted. There are probably patient and qualified high school aged sitters in the area that will gladly take $7/hr no matter where you live. Congratulations!!!!

[neuropsych76]

I don't think you ever have to really grow up. There are people in my program that are in their late 20's are still party like they are much younger

Luckily, i think my cohort is pretty social overall.