The first rejection (and the emotions that follow)

[Kitkat]

I am thinking about applying to work at a museum that I would like to work at as a grad student as well as a back up, but only as a plan B. Then there is also plans C, D, E, F and so on at this point. At this point, plan 'B's at this point are any jobs that can help me improve my chances into grad school next year. This is only my first year applying to grad school, and as other people have shown on this forum, second times a charm, if I don't get in this year, maybe with more work I will get in next year. After all, we are in a recession, there are possibly more better applicants this year then normal. Not that any of us are worth less, just that there is more competition this year.

[PhDreams]

Don't give up hope! It may be true that your credentials may not change a whole lot over the next year, but your competition will. You never know who you're going up against from year to year; it may just be that you had bad luck in terms of your cohort this year. Besides, you're also wiser about the process, and being knowledgeable about the PROCESS helps you just as much (if not more) than improving credentials!! Don't let rejections discourage you. I know it's tough, believe me, but where there's a will, there's a way.

This is so true. If I would have known what to expect this season, I know I would have really been able to focus and plan more effectively. If I have to apply again next year, I definitely know where I can improve....and it would definitely start with my SOP.

[sansao]

This is so true. If I would have known what to expect this season, I know I would have really been able to focus and plan more effectively. If I have to apply again next year, I definitely know where I can improve....and it would definitely start with my SOP.

I can't agree more. Having spoken with various faculty, requested publications, and knowing that what I want to do was going to vary significantly depending on the school, I could have had much more focused SOPs. I also would have taken the GRE much earlier to address deficiencies. If I have to reapply next year, those are the main changes I'll be making. An SOP with a broad overview consistent with what I sent this year, but also with specific projects of interest and why.

For this year, I'll have to hope that simply naming the professors, previous correspondence with them, and discussion of their funded projects and their literature are sufficient for them to consider me. That, or the people at my undergrad will recognize that I'm capable despite some of the holes in my application.

I really, really want to do marine work, that's some of the most interesting geophysical research out there (to me). However, there's stuff that I could study here in Arizona that's equally as interesting, so I don't feel like I'd really be at any type of loss doing my PhD here. It would just be a matter of accepting the opportunity and realizing that I can move to new research later if I find that's still what I want to do.

[Kitkat]

I really, really want to do marine work, that's some of the most interesting geophysical research out there (to me). However, there's stuff that I could study here in Arizona that's equally as interesting, so I don't feel like I'd really be at any type of loss doing my PhD here. It would just be a matter of accepting the opportunity and realizing that I can move to new research later if I find that's still what I want to do.

I think that this is the way to think about it. Take what opportunities you are given. UofT would be my equal to your Arizona. The main thing I think I would get out of going there is making connections with other people in what I am interested. The research I want to do is good there, but not as strong as some of the other schools that I applied to. But there are a couple of very good people who could help me get a great start.

[DualCitizenIR]

Yup I just saw my first rejection from IHEID, my top choice. I had put so much hope on getting in there. They didn't send me an email, but I expect they'll send a letter. I can't imagine how I'd feel now if I didn't have that one acceptance already. Good luck to everybody.

[kuniklos]

sorry julianne. i'm still waiting to hear back from U Buff. I'm pessimistic since everyone else seems to have heard but me.

Fear not, I am still waiting as well. I have a CV filled with conference presentations, archaeology field work up the wazoo, excellent grades, teaching and museum experience and I'm still waiting.

Got my first rejection today. I busted my butt and sacrificed so much in undergrad. Just work-work-work, and a rejection feels like I'm looking at complete failure. I try to tell myself I just wasn't a perfect fit, but it does nothing for me at the moment.

[pikachu]

Got my first rejection this year... From my dream school. The only actually school that I intended to go to. It is expected, it is damn fair and just and logical... But it still hurts. I am at work, but crying and don't care that mascara is all over my face. That's all. And... rejection text itself sounds like "never apply again". And... it's 4th year that I apply (not specifically there) and fail. And it's clear that I am stupid.

The good thing that I wrote already letter about leaving my job (sorry, forgot how it is called in English, and internet is so damn slow to check it out... this happens even in 21th century). No need to earn money to pay for studies. I am buying ticket and going home. Done.

[sansao]

Got my first rejection this year... From my dream school. The only actually school that I intended to go to. It is expected, it is damn fair and just and logical... But it still hurts. I am at work, but crying and don't care that mascara is all over my face. That's all. And... rejection text itself sounds like "never apply again". And... it's 4th year that I apply (not specifically there) and fail. And it's clear that I am stupid.

The good thing that I wrote already letter about leaving my job (sorry, forgot how it is called in English, and internet is so damn slow to check it out... this happens even in 21th century). No need to earn money to pay for studies. I am buying ticket and going home. Done.

1. You aren't stupid - computer science is both difficult and very competitive.

2. See what the other schools say, because you could still get a great offer.

[Frostfire]

Well, 3.5 weeks later and it's rejection #2. This one hurts more than the first. Probably because at this point 2 or 3 more of the applications I'm waiting on are "silent" rejections. Also, because sitting on the 1st rejection for nearly a month has been eating at me. This shit sucks.

And it's probably time to start contacting programs to ask about when decisions should come in. Which is just horrifying at this point. Bleh.

[dairymilk]

I feel stupid after my second rejection . I wish some acceptance would cure me of my disease (excessively checking gradcafe syndrome)

[morningdew]

I feel stupid after my second rejection . I wish some acceptance would cure me of my disease (excessively checking gradcafe syndrome)

Haha... I feel the same. I got my first rejection this week. I have to say, it did make me lose all my confidence that I had before.

Knowing that single document attached in the e-mail will decide my future is just nerve racking... I'm dying inside little by little each day!

I'm still waiting to hear from 2 other institutions, and I can't stop looking at gradcafe forum!!

Good luck everyone!

[PhDreams]

Got my first rejection this year... From my dream school. The only actually school that I intended to go to. It is expected, it is damn fair and just and logical... But it still hurts. I am at work, but crying and don't care that mascara is all over my face. That's all. And... rejection text itself sounds like "never apply again". And... it's 4th year that I apply (not specifically there) and fail. And it's clear that I am stupid.

The good thing that I wrote already letter about leaving my job (sorry, forgot how it is called in English, and internet is so damn slow to check it out... this happens even in 21th century). No need to earn money to pay for studies. I am buying ticket and going home. Done.

Please don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!! You obviously have the passion. Keep at it! It WILL happen!

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

I would encourage everyone here not to give up. Some programs are highly competitive and some years are worse than others. I went two seasons without an acceptance, and I had called my prof. to thank him and let him know I was calling it quits. He encouraged me to try one more time, and it was he who specified the institution I should focus on. It can work out. And if by some chance you only get offered a master's degree, by all means take it. Sure it is a consolation prize, but it is still a prize. It looks a better to have several graduate degrees (even if only masters) than it does to have only a bachelors.

Hang in there! We're all in this together.

[rio-ne-ru]

I've got 3 straight rejection and no acceptance. It makes me feel bad and I start to question myself. Oh man...

[PhDreams]

Subsequent rejections do not hurt less than the first one. Ugh....

[Frostfire]

Subsequent rejections do not hurt less than the first one. Ugh....

So true. So very, very, very true.

[Kitkat]

I've got 3 straight rejection and no acceptance. It makes me feel bad and I start to question myself. Oh man...

But it looks like you have 7 more schools to hear back from .. I wish you the best of luck with them! But it is true that every rejection hurts .... Just know you are not alone. We're rooting for you!

[thespecial1]

I got my first rejection the same day a friend of mine (who is currently studying in one of the programs I applied to) called me to tell me about someone that program had just interviewed. The interviewee had none of the awesome things on her CV that I did and had never even been on an archaeological dig (this is an archaeology program!). How was this person offered an interview before me? What was the point of all the work I did in undergrad if it was all going to be a crapshoot come time for grad applications? and What the hell at they looking for?!

[Chrysanthemum]

First rejection. I knew when first applying that I was bound to get several rejections, but damn, it hurt when I saw that anemic-looking envelope.

I feel like if I could get one acceptance somewhere, then the rejections wouldn't hurt as much. But I can't be sure of that since I have yet to be accepted anywhere.

[kaister]

Grad school apps are like the most dysfunctional rollercoaster ride of a relationship you can have. I think what really sucks is seeing other people you know get into grad school while you're not. It makes you wonder if you're really that much more stupid than them or less motivated or just picked the wrong thing to get into. I know you can't compare yourself to others like that, but it's hard not to, especially when they're your peers. I think that has really set into me and made me feel that much more of a failure and I'm scared everyone will look at me like I'm stupid or ridiculous in thinking I could ever dream about getting a PhD. Like I said...grad apps can be so destructive to ones self-esteem. Sigh!

Edited March 6, 2012 by disillusioned14

[MaxiJaz]

Grad school apps are like the most dysfunctional rollercoaster ride of a relationship you can have. I think what really sucks is seeing other people you know get into grad school while you're not. It makes you wonder if you're really that much more stupid than them or less motivated or just picked the wrong thing to get into. I know you can't compare yourself to others like that, but it's hard not to, especially when they're your peers. I think that has really set into me and made me feel that much more of a failure and I'm scared everyone will look at me like I'm stupid or ridiculous in thinking I could ever dream about getting a PhD. Like I said...grad apps can be so destructive to ones self-esteem. Sigh!

I must admit, I've shared your sentiment a few times. This is my second season trying. A lot of my friends have moved ahead of me academically now, but I think I've gained a lot in taking the year off to work and gain as much experience as possible.

What I tell myself is to keep trying and persisting. There are a lot more people worse off than you than those who are moving ahead. No one likes to be rejected, but sometimes those rejections put things into perspective. The adcomms may not think you're right for their program just yet, but what have they based this decision on? Words on a piece of paper, and if you're lucky, an hour long interview. Getting into grad school does not guarantee anything these days, you'll still have to deal with life and employment at some point after, so try to look at things for the long term. Try to make good networks, volunteer and build the resume, so that you improve as a potential candidate and then apply again.

You're bound to get your big break, and if things don't work out just yet, they will as you keep at it, and you never know, some other opportunity might popup for the better..so keep your head up!

Edited March 7, 2012 by MaxiJaz

[Spytgale1]

I must admit, I've shared your sentiment a few times. This is my second season trying. A lot of my friends have moved ahead of me academically now, but I think I've gained a lot in taking the year off to work and gain as much experience as possible.

What I tell myself is to keep trying and persisting. There are a lot more people worse off than you than those who are moving ahead. No one likes to be rejected, but sometimes those rejections put things into perspective. The adcomms may not think you're right for their program just yet, but what have they based this decision on? Words on a piece of paper, and if you're lucky, an hour long interview. Getting into grad school does not guarantee anything these days, you'll still have to deal with life and employment at some point after, so try to look at things for the long term. Try to make good networks, volunteer and build the resume, so that you improve as a potential candidate and then apply again.

You're bound to get your big break, and if things don't work out just yet, they will as you keep at it, and you never know, some other opportunity might popup for the better..so keep your head up!

Truly inspiring words!

[psychgurl]

Hey everyone --

I was really relieved to see this thread. I've applied to four Ph.D. programs in Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies -- the University of Minnesota, Emory, Ohio State, and Arizona State. Within the last twenty hours, I've been rejected by both Minnesota and Emory. Rejection is never fun, but the first one (or, in my case, two) really stings. Plus, I can't help but feel like these two rejections are indicative of what's to come.

I've spent the last seven years of my life in Bachelor's and Master's programs with the goal of attending a Ph.D. program. I worked my butt off to receive a 4.0 in grad school and do well on the GRE. Now I feel like it may have all been for nothing. I just sort of feel like a failure, I guess. Does anyone else out there feel this way?

I feel the exact same way. I went to a top 15 undergrad institution and did well there. I have 2 years RA experience from undergrad, an independent project from undergrad, and 3 years work experience post-graduation in my field. I did very well on the GRE. My LORs were glowing, according to a POI. I applied to 10 schools total, and their rankings were varied. I only got 2 interviews, and I'm worried that both will amount to nothing. I got offered a fully funded MA program. But I am still rather shocked at how difficult this process is (both to get in and the emotional toll it takes on you). I am trying to not take it personally, but what am I going to say to my parents/friends/professors/employer? I know the MA program is strong and could potentially help me more than a 4th year of work experience would, but man, what a let down.

Edited March 7, 2012 by psychgurl

[cokohlik]

Got rejected from a school I really wanted to get into and this is how I feel:

Like nothing. Not smart. Not intelligent. Who was I kidding? Maybe my UG professors inflated my grades and gave me straight As for... I don't know why, but whatever, it doesn't matter if they think/thought I'd be a good scholar. It doesn't matter how much damn work I've put into what I do so far. It doesn't matter that I love this field and the work I do in it. This program, and at least four others like it (though it's not official yet), don't understand that, and don't care, and don't want me in their program.

ARGH.

[kimir24]

That's it then. Rejection. Again.

The realization that I'm on a boat without a sail, wondering aimlessly, hoping for someone to throw me a line. No buoy or safety net, when all my life, I was led to believe that I'll be the one with the safety net, helping others.

I'm done with all of this, I tried so hard to fend off mediocrity, I've nothing to do now but embrace it.

See you guys.

Edited March 7, 2012 by kimir24