Faust: Graduate School Edition

[MichaelK]

So the Devil drives up to your grungy, unkempt apartment in his burnt umber Sierra. He tells Luca Brasi to keep the engine running and climbs out of the back seat. He steps up to your front door and rings the bell.

Before getting out of bed, you close your eyes and check that e-mail one last time. No news, of course. Then you roll into some sweatpants and open the door.

"Are you XX?" the Devil asks politely, checking his list.

"Yep."

"I hear you'd like to get into an English graduate program."

Your eyes bug out. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Never mind that," says the Devil. "Now listen up. You're going to make me an offer. First you pick which school you want me to get you in to. Then you tell me what you're willing to give up in order to get in. I'll confer with my associate" (he gestures towards Luca), "and we'll decide if your sacrifice is worthy. Sound good?"

Rules:

1. You can't give up a person

2. Most creative sacrifice wins the prize

Go.

[vordhosbntwin]

my...immortal soul?

[MichaelK]

Immortal soul is historically correct, of course, but Satan gets that all the time. Now, if you had a 1967 Ford Mustang with original paint, that might get his attention. Derek Jeter rookie card? Your favorite rabbit's foot? Your collection of vintage mint condition GI Joes?

Edited February 6, 2012 by MichaelK

[cquin]

A tub of Trader Joe's Sea Salt Brownie Petites. NO ONE can say no to those, especially not Satan...

[Mistral]

My library? All books included...

(I don't know if I could do it.)

[Aztecson23]

I don't want to say on here. But I'm sure it's a first for Belzie.

[JeremiahParadise]

My personal time and freedom for the next 5-11 years. Oh, and the huge pile of money I would have been making as an adjunct, too. I'd give up all that. Ha!

Thanks for posting this -- great topic!

[Jbarks]

My only pair of Stuart Weitzman's and my daguerreotype collection.

[veniente]

My E30 318i. And (perhaps) my capacity to procreate.

[Starlajane]

I'm living in a grungy, unkempt apartment and trying to get into an English grad program: I don't have anything of great value to give up.

[user_name]

first edition Charizard Pokemon card

[user_name]

and my gen2 Airforce Ones

[koolherc]

I'm living in a grungy, unkempt apartment and trying to get into an English grad program: I don't have anything of great value to give up.

seriously. this thread just made me realize that I own no commodities of significant value.

Edited February 7, 2012 by koolherc

[Pynchonette]

My dignity and intellectual freedom?

[MichaelK]

For my sacrifice, I'm going to go with my entire first edition VHS collection (including some gems like Star Wars and Lion King), along with my Colts Peyton Manning jersey (won't be needing that anymore). I'd also give the devil any liquor from my cupboard...if I had any left. And, just for kicks, I'll make the devil and his associate a batch of my best barbacoa. Because no one can resist that shit.

[ahembree]

I'd give him a fish wrapped in Luca Brasi's bulletproof vest.

[Starlajane]

seriously. this thread just made me realize that I own no commodities of significant value.

I would offer him my bachelor degrees.

Edited February 7, 2012 by Starlajane

[bfat]

My sweet collection of Buffy the Vampire Slayer action figures? (Comes with BONUS display table!)