Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[OctaviaButlerfan]

Any thoughts on contacting POIs and/or grad students once you've been accepted?

 

Also, does anyone have any suggestions for how to respond to an acceptance when funding is yet to be determined?

[CastineGrrl]

I went ahead and contacted two grad students today from one of the programs that accepted me. I introduced myself/my interests and asked them each a handful of questions about the department's culture and the livability of their stipends. When I visit in a few weeks, I hope to meet up with one or both of them for coffee.

 

I, too, am waiting on word for funding, so when the DGS encouraged me, in two separate emails, to let her know if I had any questions, I finally caved and asked her (in as polite a way as I could) whether it was reasonable for me to expect some kind of funding package. It would give me so much peace of mind to know that I'd probably be getting SOMETHING, even I can't know how much, that I decided to risk impropriety in asking. I haven't heard back yet, but I wrote late on a Friday. I don't expect she'll be able to tell me much, but you never know.

 

To answer your question about how to respond, I initially responded by saying I was "thrilled" to be accepted, I was interested in visiting later this month, and that I would keep my eye out for the official acceptance and funding notification. The DGS wrote back a warm email, encouraging me to visit and connecting me with a few grad students.

 

I haven't contacted my POIs yet, but I will do so later today/tomorrow. I wanted to wait for my initial excitement to calm down a little bit so that I could more successfully craft emails to them that would convey a sense of cool composure instead of immature squealing.

[jazzyd]

Does anyone else absolutely dread flying? The thought of getting on a plane next week is making me sick. I've flown plenty of times in my life, but especially in the past couple years it is just not an activity I enjoy. And going from California to Rhode Island will be a loooooong flight (from my perspective at least!).

[Porridge]

Does anyone else absolutely dread flying? The thought of getting on a plane next week is making me sick. I've flown plenty of times in my life, but especially in the past couple years it is just not an activity I enjoy. And going from California to Rhode Island will be a loooooong flight (from my perspective at least!).

 

I've flown numerous times. I love and hate flying. Petrified the plane will crash. In part because I've seen too many Seconds from Disaster/Mayday/Air Crash Investigation episodes. 

[rawera]

Does anyone else absolutely dread flying? The thought of getting on a plane next week is making me sick. I've flown plenty of times in my life, but especially in the past couple years it is just not an activity I enjoy. And going from California to Rhode Island will be a loooooong flight (from my perspective at least!).

 

 

My most recent flight(s):

 

1. somewhere to Detroit - ~ 2.5 hours

   +1 hour layover

2. Detroit to Shanghai ~ 14.5 hours

   +4.5 hour layover

3. Shanghai to elsewhere ~ 2 hours

 

It could be so much worse, but everyone reacts differently to travel. 

[wreckofthehope]

Does anyone else absolutely dread flying? The thought of getting on a plane next week is making me sick. I've flown plenty of times in my life, but especially in the past couple years it is just not an activity I enjoy. And going from California to Rhode Island will be a loooooong flight (from my perspective at least!).

Poking my nose into this thread to say:

 

Yes. I have an actual debilitating phobia of flying. I can't fly alone because I simply cannot get on the plane. If I have to fly somewhere, I have nightmares for about four months prior to the flight, and obsessive thoughts about plane crashes for about two months prior to the flight. It's awful. I try REALLY hard not to let it rule my life, though (I'm doing my PhD outside my home country ffs!). I do take valium, which makes it just about possible for me to board the aircraft...I can't offer much advice, because I feel like my experience is so far out of the norm that it's not that useful to others, but just wanted to speak up in solidarity   

[Ategenos]

I've flown numerous times. I love and hate flying. Petrified the plane will crash. In part because I've seen too many Seconds from Disaster/Mayday/Air Crash Investigation episodes. 

 

My fiancee was scared of flying. Those programmes actually did the opposite for her, because they highlighted just how rare these disasters were, that and years of other people reminding her that you're more likely to die driving in a car than you are flying in a plane.

[ProfLorax]

Does anyone else absolutely dread flying? The thought of getting on a plane next week is making me sick. I've flown plenty of times in my life, but especially in the past couple years it is just not an activity I enjoy. And going from California to Rhode Island will be a loooooong flight (from my perspective at least!).

I used to dread flying, but now I just don't like it. Like wreckofthehope, I have a benzo (mine is Xanax) to help cool my nerves, although I find I don't need it as much as I used to on flights. I always try to pack some light and engaging brain entertainment: YA novels, audiobooks (esp. fun, easy ones like Bossypants), and magazines. I can't do any dense reading because as soon as my attention wanes, I remember that I am 30k miles up in the air. Also, I learned that taking off and landing are my least favorite parts, so I will make sure to book flights with as few stops as possible (which is challenging because my closest airport is a tiny regional one that connects with SFO before reaching the final destination). So yes, distractions, anti-anxiety meds, and experience have all helped me learn to cope with flying! Good luck! 

 

ETA: Also, whenever you feel nervous because of turbulence, just look at the faces of the flight attendants. As long as they are calm, I stay calm. 

Edited March 4, 2013 by proflorax

[beet-nik]

To all of you -- if you're only accepted to one school (that is an extremely good fit) and aren't that worried about fitting in too much, is it worth the money to visit before you make your official confirmation of attending and/or move? (Granted, all of this depends on if they give me funding or not...)

[Troppman]

To all of you -- if you're only accepted to one school (that is an extremely good fit) and aren't that worried about fitting in too much, is it worth the money to visit before you make your official confirmation of attending and/or move? (Granted, all of this depends on if they give me funding or not...)

"Is it worth the money?" is a personal and complicated question. For me, the answer is no: I would accept, move, explore during the summer and familiarize myself with the scene, then blend in smoothly fall term. 

 

So, I officially accepted my offer online a minute ago. The "conditional offer" is conditional upon submitting final MA transcript and obtaining a study permit. However, the program messed up and this letter disappeared. Obtaining a study permit depends on proof of this letter. D'oh! These are things that can be resolved. I'm reminded of that Common lyric "Why do I need ID to get ID? If I had ID I wouldn't need ID!" 

[asleepawake]

To all of you -- if you're only accepted to one school (that is an extremely good fit) and aren't that worried about fitting in too much, is it worth the money to visit before you make your official confirmation of attending and/or move? (Granted, all of this depends on if they give me funding or not...)

 

I would certainly visit before you sign a lease on your living arrangements, but a visit to the program itself may not be as important.

[muchado]

I'm reviving this thread because my stress about choosing a school just got to the point where when I read a rejection letter my first thought was "well that's good, now I don't have to worry about another school." Anyone else gotten to this point yet? 

[asleepawake]

How are those of you having a hard time making a decision dealing? I am visiting the school that I am most likely to attend, but another school is looking better every day... although it is ranked much lower, it has higher job placement rates and there are more opportunities to teach literature courses. Although I am still leaning toward the school I am visiting, and of course anything could happen during the visit, I wish I had the time/money to visit the other option. I'm wondering if I should just spring for the visit...  I mean, I am deciding where I'll spend the next 4-6 years of my life.

Edited March 7, 2013 by asleepawake

[Ategenos]

How are those of you having a hard time making a decision dealing? I am visiting the school that I am most likely to attend, but another school is looking better every day... although it is ranked much lower, it has higher job placement rates and there are more opportunities to teach literature courses. Although I am still leaning toward the school I am visiting, and of course anything could happen during the visit, I wish I had the time/money to visit the other option. I'm wondering if I should just spring for the visit...  I mean, I am deciding where I'll spend the next 4-6 years of my life.

 

I know how this is. I also have the problem that different ranking systems rank my schools at different levels... and one of the wait-lists is really great, but I'd have a two hour commute to that uni each day I had classes, and wouldn't be able to take advantage of living in a very cool city (both academically and socially) as I'd always be having to head back.

[antihumanist]

I'm reviving this thread because my stress about choosing a school just got to the point where when I read a rejection letter my first thought was "well that's good, now I don't have to worry about another school." Anyone else gotten to this point yet? 

Not quite there yet, but I have enough waitlists thank you very much.  If any school wants to take me straight out i'll consider you, but otherwise please kindly reject me rather than add me to yet another "very short list."

 

Like seriously, now I'm basically going to be stuck waiting forever.  The funniest thing is that Irvine keeps saying "if you get a competing offer please tell us" - but as it is, I have no *real* choices/offers.  If I end up getting in off all the waitlists, that's when I'm gonna scream. (both from joy and fury)

Edited March 7, 2013 by antihumanist

[NowMoreSerious]

One of my issues is that my leanings change depending on who I've talked to last. I haven't even been able to eliminate one of my acceptances, and one of my advisors told me I should eliminate one school, and the one I spoke to a few days later said that should probably be my first choice. Then I talk to some of my friends who are already in graduate school and they have their own rankings/suggestions. I actually appreciate it all and wouldn't have it any other way, but personally it makes things difficult for me.

I guess I'll know more for myself once I visit.

[ProfLorax]

One of my issues is that my leanings change depending on who I've talked to last.

Monday:

 

"Hey babe! I just talked to a student at UMass; she loves the program and the area! I really think we're moving to Amherst!"

 

Tuesday:

 

"Hey babe! My friend at Arizona really loves his experience there, so get ready to Tucson!"

 

Wednesday:

 

"Hey babe! I just found out that Maryland is hosting a Queer Disability Studies Symposium. DC, here we come!"

 

Thursday:

 

"Hey babe! Illinois has a 100% job placement rate, and this professor is super nice... How do you feel about Urbana/Champaign?"

 

Friday:

"Hey babe! My friend is finishing up coursework at Miami in rhet/comp, and she says the professors are all bad ass and super supportive, What's the tech job market like in Oxford?"

[katja454]

One of my issues is that my leanings change depending on who I've talked to last. I haven't even been able to eliminate one of my acceptances, and one of my advisors told me I should eliminate one school, and the one I spoke to a few days later said that should probably be my first choice. Then I talk to some of my friends who are already in graduate school and they have their own rankings/suggestions. I actually appreciate it all and wouldn't have it any other way, but personally it makes things difficult for me.

I guess I'll know more for myself once I visit.

 

I'm so glad that other people are a mess like I am. It's such a great problem to have, but I'm really hoping that these visits clarify a lot for me. I could legitimately see myself happy at any of my top choices. On a related note, NowMoreSerious, are you visiting Davis, either on the visting day or otherwise? 

[damequixote]

Yeah, I've responded to this admittedly lucky brand of stress by making copious amounts of spreadsheets.... I think I've decided on UW Madison, but turning down a Michigan acceptance feels pretty gd scary and wrong. AHHH

 

[muchado]

Proflorax - 

 

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY LIFE?!?

 

I mean, obviously this is with different schools, but I feel like this is me every day. 

[NowMoreSerious]

I'm so glad that other people are a mess like I am. It's such a great problem to have, but I'm really hoping that these visits clarify a lot for me. I could legitimately see myself happy at any of my top choices. On a related note, NowMoreSerious, are you visiting Davis, either on the visting day or otherwise? 

Yes, I am visiting Davis on April 1, which is the visiting day for everyone right?

[dmmar]

There are several factors that I'm weighing/juggling, and I'm not always sure how much weight to give each one. Important factors to me are:

 

-Fit (with professor research interests)

-Fit (with general atmosphere of the program)

-Funding (and the form it takes--fellowships and assistantships, what the teaching load is like, etc.)

-Placement rate

-Program prestige

-Location (if I have to uproot my fiance, I'd like there to be something of interest for him in the new location)

 

How are you all weighing factors in your decision-making process? How much weight does each factor carry for you?

[Swagato]

In order of priorities:

 

1) Fit with faculty

2) Fit with program

3) Recent placements

4) Prominence of program, which often correlates with

5) Funding

[katja454]

Yes, I am visiting Davis on April 1, which is the visiting day for everyone right?

 

Yep! I'm going too! I've asked a current student but haven't gotten an answer yet - do you know what the TA situation there looks like? Do you teach discussion sections as well as sitting in on the lecture? I'm trying to figure out how heavy the TA load is that first year.

[ProfLorax]

Proflorax - 

 

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY LIFE?!?

 

I mean, obviously this is with different schools, but I feel like this is me every day. 

Ha! Glad to know I'm not alone! And I didn't even include Saturday, in which I agonize about Ohio State...