Need Advice on a Professor

[indorichai]

I'm currently at the university library studying for mid-terms for a class where I think the professor treats me unfairly as compared to the other students. This has been bothering me for a long time and I keep on second-guessing myself. Maybe I am overreacting? Maybe I am reading into things too much? However, whenever I do second-guess myself, she somehow reaffirms my biases in class.

Here is the background story:

I am currently a graduate student getting my master's degree in education, mainly in science education. Unfortunately our university took away the graduate program for science education, so I have to take some undergraduate courses in that area. The professor that I currently have is one of the main advisors for the science education program. Before I signed up for classes for Spring 2012, I planned to go to her for advice on signing up for classes. Now, I don't really believe that first impressions are everything, but I am beginning to believe it after the way she treats me. During our first meeting, she asked me why I was interested in science education. I told her my story (that I have a B.S. in chemistry and found my passion for teaching when I went abroad for a year to teach English), but then she kept on rudely interrupting me saying stuff like "we don't joke around here, this is serious stuff..." I had no idea I was joking in the first place, but okay. Then, as she was making me nervous, I mentioned that I wanted to get quality "training," which then she interrupts me again and says "we don't use that word here." At that moment, I thought somebody was pulling a mean prank on me. What did I do to deserve this? America could benefit from quality science teachers and she's just pushing them away (or maybe she just automatically assumed that I was not going to be 'quality'). Anyways, I was turned off by her highly judgmental nature towards me but I did need her to help me on picking out classes which she did and she unenthusiastically recommended me to take one of her classes.

I decided to take her undergraduate level class because I thought that her judgement of me might just be her passion for science education and that I could learn a lot of valuable lessons in her class. She is passionate, but we have only 5 students in the class and she really picks on me. Whenever I have something to say in the class, she doesn't look directly at me and looks at others for input. She does not do the same thing when another person speaks. Usually, when another person talks, she looks directly at them and smiles at what they're saying and prods them. The things that I say in class aren't complete rubbish. She'll kindly tend to a bubbly blonde girl's personal story in class, but ignore my feedback on the readings or responses to her questions. I'm 27 years old in a class of 20 year olds, not that age should matter, but she really does make me feel like crap. Two weeks ago, we turned in a paper that I made a 95 on and she was being nice to me in class and complimented me on my writing style. After that she tried to see what work I had been doing on this project that we have to do in class. Our assignment for that day was to pick out two articles on our topic. I showed her my two articles and I told her that I didn't really delve into one of them as deeply, which then she quickly shrugs me off and says "well you need to..." She is fine in this regard to slightly scold for not doing my work in-depth, but if the other classmates had done what I did, she would be more gentle on them. I could say that it is probably because they are undergraduates and so she feels that they are more easily excused right? Well, she still continues to treat me like crap because of that one incidence after my stellar paper. I can't stand this anymore and I am kind of getting depressed. Her class has been discouraging me from actually having the energy to study for her mid-term or doing her readings.

Should I talk to her about this and let her know how I feel? I don't know if she realizes how she treats me. She seems to only like those that act a certain way, which shows her lack of adaptability towards diverse personalities. She also did help me get my current job position at the university (it's a research project that she is part of). I am thankful to her for this, but I still don't know why she continues to treat me the way she does. What do you guys think I should do?

[koolherc]

sounds like a 3rd grader who has a crush on you

[lewin]

Your initial conversation seems odd but I wasn't there. It's hard to say what you were doing that might have appeared flippant or joking.

It seems to me that she's harder on you in class because you're a grad student and the others are undergrads. Maybe the others need more encouragement to contribute. High expectations are good, and your paper mark suggests that you're meeting them. And her telling you that you should read the articles in depth is pretty mild criticism. The big indicator that she likes you (or at least respects you) is that research position. Advisors don't hire researchers they don't like, so to me that overshadows anything else that might be odd about your interactions.

My snap judgement is that maybe you're being a bit thin-skinned. Learning how to take criticism is a big part of graduate school because it happens constantly. Your advisor isn't your friend and doesn't have to be nice, especially because she's rewarding you where it counts (grades, opportunities).

[ktel]

I'm going to agree with lewin00. You're interpreting that she doesn't like you, but yet she her broader actions (the high mark on the paper, the research position) say otherwise. She is hard on you, but she obviously still respects you or she wouldn't be trying to help you at all.

[CarlieE]

I agree that she might be harder on you as a grad student.. I have a similar experience but with a different twist that might help you see things in a different light..

I'm an UG but I take a lot of grad/cross listed classes and I do really well in my area of study. This semester I took a class which focuses on my region of study but there are a lot of UGs in the class for whom this is their first anthro class on the subject. So, when it comes to answering questions, the professor prefers to get responses from the other UGs who are "new" to the topic. At first, she liked me (and my grad friends in the class) speaking up and answering questions but we ended up intimidating the other students who are newer to the topic, so she started to ignore our raised hands and kinda of give us little head shakes to subtly say "no, not you....someone else needs to answer this". Our professor never made this explicit but it's become clear.

As for the other other behavior and her interruptions, perhaps this is a part of her personality. If she were picking on you in a negative way, you probably wouldn't have gotten such high marks on her paper/tests.

[123student]

I agree with the 3 posters above based on my experience as an undergrad. The professors who knew my academic goals (grad school and an academic career) were harder on me in order to toughen me up for two tough careers: grad school and an academic career. They rewarded and encouraged me where it still counts, mainly in detailed and enthusiastic feedback on research projects. I found that they also tested me in classrooms by responding to my contributions with noticeably less enthusiasm than they responded to other students', and even sometimes discrediting my contributions, but this trained me to assert, defend, and crystallize my ideas quickly. This is a quality I've noticed in the best academics I've encountered or seen speak, and I imagine these academics learned the hard way, too. Those that didn't must have fallen by the wayside and left more room for the serious and strong thinkers we all admire.

Your professor is probably hard on you because she sees potential in you, and is training you to stand strong.

[wheatGrass]

Just a quick thing about the "training" comment... There are some critical pedagogy people who write about teacher education and who take quite a critical stance about the increasing move towards "technicism" and "extreme pragmatism"in teacher education (I think this is H. Giroux and/or Peter McLaren, in case you are interested). Basically, the idea that teachers are being trained perform certain pre-determined tasks rather than think critically about education, their roles, education's role in society, etc...

Maybe this is where your professor is coming from with the harsh reaction to the 'training' word. Not a very effective way to get her message across, though...

[Sigaba]

It sounds to me like she's holding you to a high standard, offering instantaneous corrections when you make a mistake, and treating you more as an adult than she does your younger classmates. In combination, these behaviors suggest that she respects you and is trying to help you reach your goals.

There might be a disconnect with her tone, especially since she talks to other students differently. You might benefit from a brief conversation with her over coffee just to check in and see how you're doing. This conversation might lead to her changing her methods and softening her tone. However, from the information you've provided, I think developing a thicker skin might be the way to go. (Some educators are not into "hand holding" while others will do their level best to make all the adjustments they can to make sure that they're on the same page with their students.)

What ever you do decide to do, please do come back to this thread from time to time to let everyone know what choices you've made and how they're working out for you.

[spunkrag]

People are different and say weird things. I'll agree that the initial convo with her does sound a bit odd, but just as the above poster alluded to none of us were there so its hard to say what might have irked her. None of this sounds real bad. Just try and hang in there, but nothing here sends up any red flags.

[indorichai]

Thanks everyone! I think the situation is getting better. I have spoken to an undergraduate in the classroom about how she feels the professor treats me and the undergraduate told me that she just thinks she treats me differently because I am a graduate student. Anyways, I just think I am not too fond of this professor in general but I do think she is warming up to me since I do prove myself to be hard-working from time to time. As lewin00 noted, she does not have to be my friend so I should not take it too personally. Honestly, I am not a pansy or anything, but I guess (as silly as it sounds) I really do hate being in a class only with undergraduates and have the students look at you as if you're the most ancient thing that ever existed. This didn't bother me at the beginning of the semester since I was more motivated to learn about my field, but as the semester is going by, her class just increases my anxiety level. However, I am taking another undergraduate level class with younger students and I do not feel that way at all. This could be because the professor actually encourages me to share my teaching experiences with the class and acknowledges me as an adult.

Anyways, I'll get over it. Also, the semester will be over in less than a month, which is definitely something to look forward to!

[Sigaba]

I have spoken to an undergraduate in the classroom about how she feels the professor treats me and the undergraduate told me that she just thinks she treats me differently because I am a graduate student.

Even though your decision to disclose your concerns to an undergraduate helped you, I do not think this type of behavior is going to help you in the long run.

[indorichai]

Even though your decision to disclose your concerns to an undergraduate helped you, I do not think this type of behavior is going to help you in the long run.

What kind of behavior are you emphasizing on?

[crossedfingerscrossedeyes]

I mostly agree with everyone else that the treatment's mostly due to your being a grad student, but one thing stuck out to me:

I told her my story (that I have a B.S. in chemistry and found my passion for teaching when I went abroad for a year to teach English), but then she kept on rudely interrupting me ...

Does this professor have a background in science like you, or has she always been on the education track? I have friends who did their undergrad in education and are in grad school now, and I've noticed that some of them have... apprehensions, let's say, towards their classmates who have switched from studying a subject to studying educating about the subject. It's not hard for me to imagine an education professor having similar hang-ups.

Edited March 28, 2012 by crossedfingerscrossedeyes

[Sigaba]

What kind of behavior are you emphasizing on?

The short version is that you're airing your department's dirty laundry (tension between a graduate student and a professor) out of house. This practice is a good way to burn bridges while you're standing on them. Some of the most important instruction you'll receive will take place after professors have determined that you can keep your mouth shut. (That is, they won't show you where the bodies are buried until they know you can be trusted.) By talking about this issue outside of your department, you've planted a seed for gossip that, if it takes root, is unlikely to bear fruit that has any nourishment for you.

The fact that you've disclosed this issue to an undergraduate who most likely does not have the expertise nor influence to help you resolve your issue adds another level to the risk you've taken.

In my experience, each graduate program has at least one professor who has earned the reputation for being the fixer of students' problems. If you cannot find a way to talk directly to the professor with whom you're having difficulties, find and talk to the fixer.

HTH.

[ccarmona]

I know I am chiming in a little late here. And I am not sure how much people will soak in what I feel. Everyone here is right to a certain degree. This example brought back some memories not too long ago.

We walk into our programs thinking everything is going to be fine and dandy. Im thinking to myself, "oh wow" "somehow everyone here is really nice and knowledgable". Then out of no where we get our feelings hurt. That first misfire; they just don't reciprocate. "Is it me?" Confusion sinks its teeth and the sting lasts all quarter long. Here we go time to lace up the boots!

Misconception 1: Professors are your life long buddies and your friends.

- False: Some are the most pretentious human beings on this earth.

+ While others are great idiosyncratic leaders; the ones you really enjoy working with.

Misconception 2: Communication misfire will self correct itself; especially with Professors.

- False: The longer you wait to air out your emotional intelligence with this person. The more your grades will drop.

+ Do yourself a favor. Nip misfires with teachers early in the bud. Explain to them your concerns behind closed doors.

+ And never go behind their backs and run to an undergrad or even a grad about this. But thats too late.

+ If you do speak to them show them respect. Never go in for a fight. Talk quietly and respectfully. Keep your emotional intelligence (EI) in check.

Same senario for me. In the business college where its not fun; always challenging and pushing us to the limit. Answers are never good enough, moreover, sometimes your answer is better than the professors. Once I aired out my concerns with a smirky individual (who had the same attitude toward me) we talked it out. The only way you will find the root cause of her behavior (its over the top, I know), is if you find out from her beak. And if she plays misfit during your meeting or talk start considering getting your advisor involved. They should have your back. My senario had to go this route. Because I started second guessing myself in class and outside of class. Going insane trying to solve his problems and going out of my way to educate them. Maybe that's why we pay them? Kidding. Once we all figured it out: A+ the rest of the quarter.

Good luck..