I just started - I am extremely stressed and no one gets it!!!! Please Help

[ThisGuyRiteHere]

Hey, so I am new here and new to graduate school in general. I though undergrad was ok...it was pretty tough (I was an economics major) and so I took a year off and did some research. Now I am in a Masters in Marketing program and while alot of the classes overlap with the MBA, etc, these classes are alot harder than what I thought they would be. They all have open book tests, etc...but the amount of thought and analysis that goes into them is deeper than what I expected. Also, knowing that if I dont have a 3.0 GPA I will be thrown out is stressful too..

I try to tell my family about it, but they dont get it. I am the 1st in my family to go beyond a BS. I try to tell my friends, they dont get it (still in UG), I have no one to talk to and I am stressing out and alone. I mean its been two weeks, I hope the typical "grad school depression" is not setting in..Also, The school I am going to is good, but it is no Harvard or Yale, so unless I have EXCELLENT grades, I will end up in a "average joe" corporation...and if i ever decide to go for a PhD in Management/Marketing....i need to have EXCELLENT grades, since my UG gpa is a 3.2 and I do not do well on standardized tests...so my grades are the only thing I have to speak for me.

And again, I have no one to talk to...

Is anyone else in my situation? Anyone have any inspiring words? Stories? Anything? Please Help.

[R Deckard]

Suck it up.

[wildviolet]

It's going to be stressful in the beginning because you're adjusting to a new paradigm where the expectations are both higher and different than your previous experiences. Also, the way you worded your concerns about getting a position at an "average joe" corporation makes it seem as if you are already stressed out about your job prospects. I would advise managing your expectations--are you comfortable with being at an "average joe" corporation? If not, then I think you need to rethink your expectations or get out of your program and aim for the Yales or Harvards.

Family and friends often do not understand. My advice is to make friends with people in your cohort, who do understand and may become a good support system. Or, the people here on GC. I've made what I consider some supportive online friends.

Also, just give yourself some time to adjust. Things are never as bad as they seem at first.

[Dal PhDer]

wildviolet has some really great advice- make friends with a couple of your classmates.

You're feeling what most students feel. UG to grad is a BIG change. The expectations, how things are taught, and what you're expected to bring is completely different. You have to think differently, read differently, and present what you know differently. Graduate school IS hard- if it weren't, it wouldn't be such a pain to get into and everyone would do it! But it's important to know that most, if not all, students feel this way.

All you can do is work hard, try your best, and find students to be in misery with!

[imonedaful]

The school I am going to is good, but it is no Harvard or Yale, so unless I have EXCELLENT grades, I will end up in a "average joe" corporation...and if i ever decide to go for a PhD in Management/Marketing....i need to have EXCELLENT grades, since my UG gpa is a 3.2 and I do not do well on standardized tests...so my grades are the only thing I have to speak for me.

Ohhh, how untrue this is. I have an MBA from a decent state school. We have graduates that go on to do great things. One of my professors was an MBA graduate from our school and became the CEO of a fairly large corporation. Getting a degree from Harvard or Yale does not guarantee you anything. From what I know, schools with hard admissions standards are hard to get into, but easy to get out of. Furthermore, jobs do not really look at your grades so do not stress about it that much.

As far as everything being more difficult, you are just going to have to work harder. YOU were the one who decided to get a masters degree, so do not be upset with your friends or family that they do not understand it. It is your choice, and your burden. However, I believe there is absolutely no reason to be unhappy about graduate school. It is far better than sitting in a cubicle being bored out of your mind. Make what you do fun. I used to take a box of crayons and redraw graphs and diagrams of stuff I had to know and make them colorful. I am sure I looked ridiculous being a graduate student in the libraby with crayons, but I had a good time. haha

[lewin]

Suck it up.

To elaborate a bit on this (because I agree with the sentiment if not the format), every job is hard. My grad school colleagues have spouses with "real" jobs who find the grad school complaining really tiresome because their jobs are hard too: unrealistic bosses' expectations, keeping up with ratebusters, long hours, irritating coworkers, competing for raises and promotions, etc. "There is nothing new under the sun..." as the good book says. To succeed in any field requires hard work, ability, and some luck. Your friends might not seem sympathetic because they have the same problems to worry about but with less job security and flexibility. At some point you need to learn how to self-soothe on the day-to-day stuff, and only look for support with the big problems. Me, I drink.*

*Kidding.

Edited September 10, 2012 by lewin00

[Tall Chai Latte]

It could take a while before you start to feel you have a handle on things in grad school. Different people have different adaptation period, for me it lasted a long time (up to a year, but I'm in a PhD program). Every student who just started grad school feels overwhelmed and stressed out, your feelings are normal.

Echoing what others have commented, you simply just cannot do everything perfect. Things were more structured in UG with a defined standard for you to achieve, but this is not the case in grad school. Expectations are higher, things are less structured, and you have to discover a lot of stuff on your own. Just learn how to do a "good enough" job is important to keep yourself sane, productive, and happy. Please don't compare yourself with others! Everyone is different. Hang in there! After this period of time, you will be right on track to productiveness.

[victor.s.andrei]

Hey, so I am new here and new to graduate school in general. I though undergrad was ok...it was pretty tough (I was an economics major) and so I took a year off and did some research. Now I am in a Masters in Marketing program and while alot of the classes overlap with the MBA, etc, these classes are alot harder than what I thought they would be. They all have open book tests, etc...but the amount of thought and analysis that goes into them is deeper than what I expected. Also, knowing that if I dont have a 3.0 GPA I will be thrown out is stressful too..

I try to tell my family about it, but they dont get it. I am the 1st in my family to go beyond a BS. I try to tell my friends, they dont get it (still in UG), I have no one to talk to and I am stressing out and alone. I mean its been two weeks, I hope the typical "grad school depression" is not setting in..Also, The school I am going to is good, but it is no Harvard or Yale, so unless I have EXCELLENT grades, I will end up in a "average joe" corporation...and if i ever decide to go for a PhD in Management/Marketing....i need to have EXCELLENT grades, since my UG gpa is a 3.2 and I do not do well on standardized tests...so my grades are the only thing I have to speak for me.

And again, I have no one to talk to...

Is anyone else in my situation? Anyone have any inspiring words? Stories? Anything? Please Help.

If it's any comfort, I just transitioned into a regular degree program from non-degree status and simultaneously increased my course load to six credit hours from three. I also work full time in my field, with occasional on call responsibilities, and the last three weeks have been hell on earth. Oh, and it's only September, too.

My advice:

1. "If you're going through hell, keep on going." Don't worry too much about GPA. Just pass, and keep your sanity. Don't worry about your school's reputation too much, unless you made the mistake of going to an online for-profit. You will get a job...and with any luck, one that you enjoy. Also, none of your prospective future employers will care about your grades, but they will care that you passed.

2. Make some friends among your fellow graduate students. (They will help you keep your sanity.) TGC folks are amazing, but don't count on them to fly to your school to give you a hug when an assignment goes to pieces at 3:30 am.

3. Corporate life isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know this for a fact, considering I switch hats on a daily basis. Do not worry about whether you will end up at some big, "prestigious" corporation that might work you to death and then throw you away. Instead, worry about whether you will have made your (positive) mark on this world before your time is up.