What if you messed up college and still have no chosen career path?

[Bobbi]

I will be 25 in December, and I still live with my parents after graduating from college two years ago.

Got a degree but with a very low gpa. Found a job finally, but I hate it and make very little money. I am paid hourly at a desk job, and I want to leave in a year or two but have no idea what I would move on to.

Should I try to take classes to go for a master's degree in accounting? The only thing is, I find accounting very boring. All I am really interested in is getting married. I feel like I don't remember the last time I worked hard for anything, even friendship. Maybe I don't work very hard at anything at all, and that's why I screwed up college the first time.

How can I get a better job? I don't even know what I want to do, what I have a passion for, if anything. I want to be self-reliant (1) because marriage is not something to depend on anymore, and (2) I want to most of the time look forward to work.

Please help. Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

[sareth]

If you find accounting boring, I don't believe a master's going to help you with your second point: wanting to enjoy your work. You'd basically be going into (more?) debt in order to fit yourself for a career you don't sound likely to enjoy. Based on what you say here I don't think it pursuing a graduate degree in accounting would be worth it for you (at least right now).

I'd suggest you spend some time exploring fields that you *may* be passionate about (did you enjoy history? maybe volunteer at a local historic house) while you have the financial safety net of a job and a place to live.

A shot in the dark, and I'm surely no expert, but based how you describe yourself here, I wonder if you may be suffering from long-term clinical depression (you describe loss of interest, lack of motivation). If so, it could have contributed to your low GPA. Depression isn't just sadness; it can also manifest as feelings of "emptiness," difficulty concentrating, decreased energy, and feelings of worthlessness/helplessness. It might be worth looking into/talking to your doctor about it.

Good luck!

Edited October 8, 2012 by sareth

[Quant_Liz_Lemon]

A shot in the dark, and I'm surely no expert, but based how you describe yourself here, I wonder if you may be suffering from long-term clinical depression (you describe loss of interest, lack of motivation). If so, it could have contributed to your low GPA. Depression isn't just sadness; it can also manifest as feelings of "emptiness," difficulty concentrating, decreased energy, and feelings of worthlessness/helplessness. It might be worth looking into/talking to your doctor about it.

Sareth: Given that you aren't in an expert, I suggest that you stop diagnosing medical disorders over the internet.

Bobbi: I wouldn't recommend accounting if you find it boring. I'd suggest trying to remember what classes you found interesting in college. Perhaps take a class in that.

[sareth]

Sareth: Given that you aren't in an expert, I suggest that you stop diagnosing medical disorders over the internet.

I did not intend to diagnose, or to give the impression that I am an expert. I merely meant to suggest it might be something worthwhile for the OP to look into. Sorry if that's not the impression I gave.

Edited October 9, 2012 by sareth

[aberrant]

Bobbi: I wouldn't recommend accounting if you find it boring. I'd suggest trying to remember what classes you found interesting in college. Perhaps take a class in that.

I wouldn't even recommend Bobbi to spend money and take a class. I think what Bobbi needs to know is what s/he interested in besides "getting married". Don't even think about school if you, Bobbi, find yourself not interested in any academic subject. Because you'll find those boring classes miserable (besides the potential that spending money on classes that won't help you to get a job.)

Until you identify what you wanna / passionate to do, I don't think anyone here can give you any meaningful advice -- especially related to grad school/academic.

[theologyofyourface]

Have you thought about taking one of those career assessment tests? I have a friend who took some sort of Myers-Briggs based career aptitude test last year and it helped her figure out where she wanted to go with her career.

[Dior99]

If travel is at all an option I'd definitely recommend it. Travelling is great for reinvigorating the spirit and discovering untapped passions.

based how you describe yourself here, I wonder if you may be suffering from long-term clinical depression

To be honest, this is the first thing that came to my mind while reading your post. If you feel comfortable doing so it really couldn't hurt to talk to a doctor to get a professional opinion.

[EquationForLife]

I think you have to think about if it's more important to have a job you enjoy doing, or a job that pays well. Obviously if you can do both, that's great...but if you are lost, I suggest going for one or the other.

If you want a job you enjoy doing, take some general classes in a few fields...maybe at a community college, just to gauge your interest.

If you want a job that pays well, pick a job area that you are capable of doing and has good starting salary/opportunities. Then, just suck it up and apply yourself to getting in that field.

[ZacharyObama]

There's always the military.

[Arcadian]

Bobbi: You just need to find your passion. If you could study one thing in school - independently of all practical considerations like money - what would it be? What is the most interesting subject in the world to you?

Whatever that is, do that. The rest will fall into place.

To the person who mentioned depression, get out of here with that. I think it's completely inaccurate and inappropriate. Everyone would seem "depressed" if they didn't have anything to be passionate about.

Edited October 10, 2012 by Arcadian

[Bobbi]

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to answer my post. I'm sure you have way more important things on your plate.

I guess I will try to figure out what I'm passionate about. I am sad, more sad at night, but idk if I'm depressed.

(I know someone who has clinical depression, but unlike her I leave my house and socialize sometimes.)

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Bobbi: You just need to find your passion. If you could study one thing in school - independently of all practical considerations like money - what would it be? What is the most interesting subject in the world to you?

Whatever that is, do that. The rest will fall into place.

To the person who mentioned depression, get out of here with that. I think it's completely inaccurate and inappropriate. Everyone would seem "depressed" if they didn't have anything to be passionate about.

Isn't not having anything to be passionate about pretty much the definition of depression? Also, if you read the original poster's above comment, it screams depression. Do you want sugar coat or do you want people to be real? "I'm sure you have more important things on your plate" [than to respond to my post] and "I am sad, more sad at night" don't sound like depression to you?

Edited October 11, 2012 by JoeyBoy718

[Bobbi]

Isn't not having anything to be passionate about pretty much the definition of depression? Also, if you read the original poster's above comment, it screams depression. Do you want sugar coat or do you want people to be real? "I'm sure you have more important things on your plate" [than to respond to my post] and "I am sad, more sad at night" don't sound like depression to you?

The thing is, JoeyBoy718, sometimes calling attention to one's unhappiness just leads to more unhappiness. IF you focus on improving things, like taking up a new hobby or smiling at more people over the course of a day, that can help. Not just taking a pill and seeing a therapist. That just feeds the apparent mental illness, prolongs the idea that you need crutches just to get through the day.

I think this is why Arcadian focused his post on finding one's passion.

[jacib]

It's funny that everyone keeps mentioning "passions"; it seems to be a word we only use when talking about new lovers, failing relationships, and career advice. We end up acting like if you're not passionate about your work, there's something wrong with you. It's work.

There was an interesting article in the Times not too long ago called "Follow a Career Passion? Let It Follow You" which makes the argument maybe not everyone's passions correlate with what they do for work, and instead, "The traits that lead people to love their work are general and have little to do with a job’s specifics. These traits include a sense of autonomy and the feeling that you’re good at what you do and are having an impact on the world." However, he continues, "These traits can be found in many jobs, but they have to be earned. Building valuable skills is hard and takes time." The write emphasizes it's the steps taken after heading down one career path or another that matter, rather than simply choosing a path based on some preexistant, undying "passion".

Rather than follow your passion, think about what's important for you. For some of my friends, a huge salary is very important and they've got the education and are willing to work the long hours to get that for a few years. For some of my friends, finishing at five and not taking work home is important. For at least one of my friends, doing something emotionally fulfilling is important so he's using his econ degree at non-profits instead of in finance (where he worked before). For me, autonomy and being able to set my own schedule are things that are important to me. Even when making these considerations though, I agree with the writer of the above article that it's very often not the career path you choose to go down, but how you choose to navigate that path that matters most.

[aberrant]

It's funny that everyone keeps mentioning "passions"; it seems to be a word we only use when talking about new lovers, failing relationships, and career advice. We end up acting like if you're not passionate about your work, there's something wrong with you. It's work.

....

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I agree with the writer of the above article that it's very often not the career path you choose to go down, but how you choose to navigate that path that matters most.

Not sure if it is just me or it appears that the OP have/had trouble to find a job and get paid well in the first place. Most of the examples that you mentioned here are only legitimate iff one has options to choose who/where/what to work for/at/with. (Choose to make big bucks / choose to work till 5 pm and go home / choose to work at non-profits after making some money (regardless the amount) / choose to work at a flexible schedule.) If only OP has all these opportunities (not the qualities / education background), otherwise I don't think making OP to "love his/her work" is possible. That also leads to his/her question on whether he/she should apply for grad school and whatnot.

Edited October 15, 2012 by aberrant

[TeaGirl]

Forget passionate. It's such a vague term that fails to mention that even when you're working in your dream job, it can often get pretty sucky and you'll be as un-passionate about it as anything, especially when you get down to the gritty details.

The goal is to find something interesting and makes you feel good enough that you'll be willing to suffer through the rough times and stick with it.

One way to do it is to establish a goal. What do you want to be? What idea sounds great to you? A chemist, art historian, school teacher, social worker, nurse, engineer, chef, HR, consultant, open up your own business? You may need to do a little research on different jobs to figure it out.

Once you have that goal, make a list of the things needed to get you there. Having an end goal helps put things in perspective and keeps you more motivated. If that includes taking more classes or going to graduate school, then great! At least then you'll know exactly what you're doing it for and probably will work harder at it and enjoy it along the way, rather than hoping it'll be a lottery ticket.

[Bobbi]

Forget passionate. It's such a vague term that fails to mention that even when you're working in your dream job, it can often get pretty sucky and you'll be as un-passionate about it as anything, especially when you get down to the gritty details.

The goal is to find something interesting and makes you feel good enough that you'll be willing to suffer through the rough times and stick with it.

One way to do it is to establish a goal. What do you want to be? What idea sounds great to you? A chemist, art historian, school teacher, social worker, nurse, engineer, chef, HR, consultant, open up your own business? You may need to do a little research on different jobs to figure it out.

Once you have that goal, make a list of the things needed to get you there. Having an end goal helps put things in perspective and keeps you more motivated. If that includes taking more classes or going to graduate school, then great! At least then you'll know exactly what you're doing it for and probably will work harder at it and enjoy it along the way, rather than hoping it'll be a lottery ticket.

I like the way you think, TeaGirl. Except for one thing - don't you think my chance has passed by? The money has been spent, and I believe that I got very little out of college in terms of career preparation and personal growth. If I continue working and going to school at the same time (maybe just 2 classes per semester), I will be sitting practically all day, every day. Twice a week for classes and the rest of the time studying. That seems like torture to me. Maybe I sit a lot already by going on the PC after work. Have you ever worked at a desk job and taken classes simultaneously?

Not to leave out that I suspect that I have attention problems. One minute I will be absorbed in reading material, the next my mind will wander and off I will go to brush my teeth, make a cup of tea, or make a snack. Yeah, that's how bad it is. Then it's really, really hard to get fully back into what I was reading to begin with, if not impossible.

[aberrant]

The goal is to find something interesting and makes you feel good enough that you'll be willing to suffer through the rough times and stick with it.

Isn't that what normal people do when they find something that they have passion to do? Not sure if "makes you feel good enough" part is true tho. Some people often get out of their comfort zones and challenge themselves, like Richard Feynman.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I like the way you think, TeaGirl. Except for one thing - don't you think my chance has passed by? The money has been spent, and I believe that I got very little out of college in terms of career preparation and personal growth. If I continue working and going to school at the same time (maybe just 2 classes per semester), I will be sitting practically all day, every day. Twice a week for classes and the rest of the time studying. That seems like torture to me. Maybe I sit a lot already by going on the PC after work. Have you ever worked at a desk job and taken classes simultaneously?

Not to leave out that I suspect that I have attention problems. One minute I will be absorbed in reading material, the next my mind will wander and off I will go to brush my teeth, make a cup of tea, or make a snack. Yeah, that's how bad it is. Then it's really, really hard to get fully back into what I was reading to begin with, if not impossible.

You're seriously all over the place. Label me a jerk if you want, but I think your problems are not appropriate for this site. I don't think anyone on here can help you. This will be a 100 page thread that just keeps going in circles. I don't think any of us have the time for that. I'm not saying you don't pose legitimate questions and concerns about your own well being. I'm just saying I don't think GradCafe is the place for it.

[TeaGirl]

I like the way you think, TeaGirl. Except for one thing - don't you think my chance has passed by? The money has been spent, and I believe that I got very little out of college in terms of career preparation and personal growth. If I continue working and going to school at the same time (maybe just 2 classes per semester), I will be sitting practically all day, every day. Twice a week for classes and the rest of the time studying. That seems like torture to me. Maybe I sit a lot already by going on the PC after work. Have you ever worked at a desk job and taken classes simultaneously?

Not to leave out that I suspect that I have attention problems. One minute I will be absorbed in reading material, the next my mind will wander and off I will go to brush my teeth, make a cup of tea, or make a snack. Yeah, that's how bad it is. Then it's really, really hard to get fully back into what I was reading to begin with, if not impossible.

I am currently working a full time job and doing research at the same time to improve my profile, and I'm working on applications. It's not easy, and it sucks up 90% of my time. That's the point though, I want the end result badly enough that I'm willing to deal with it.

The are a hundred and one reasons that you'll be able to come up with why you can't do what you want, why it's hard, etc. There's also a solution for each one of them. Too much sitting? Incorporate exercise into your day, on your breaks. Lack of attention? You can find an expert who can help you figure out if it's an actual condition or lack of motivation.

What do you mean chance has passed you by?? You're never too old to do anything. There are people on this forum who are in their 40's and going back to school to change career paths and do what they want. You are 25. You've got decades ahead of you. A few years worth of hard work are definitely worth living the rest of you life doing something fulfilling.

[TeaGirl]

Isn't that what normal people do when they find something that they have passion to do? Not sure if "makes you feel good enough" part is true tho. Some people often get out of their comfort zones and challenge themselves, like Richard Feynman.

I don't know, maybe you're right. But I've often heard the term "passion" and it seems to imply no down sides. It should definitely make you feel good though. If you're doing something just for the challenge when you don't actually like it, what happens once the challenging part is over (i.e. you graduate, get your doctorate, land that job) and you feel like settling down? Unless the goal to constantly be struggling, but I don't think most people strive for that.

[Bobbi]

It's funny that everyone keeps mentioning "passions"; it seems to be a word we only use when talking about new lovers, failing relationships, and career advice. We end up acting like if you're not passionate about your work, there's something wrong with you. It's work.

There was an interesting article in the Times not too long ago called "Follow a Career Passion? Let It Follow You" which makes the argument maybe not everyone's passions correlate with what they do for work, and instead, "The traits that lead people to love their work are general and have little to do with a job’s specifics. These traits include a sense of autonomy and the feeling that you’re good at what you do and are having an impact on the world." However, he continues, "These traits can be found in many jobs, but they have to be earned. Building valuable skills is hard and takes time." The write emphasizes it's the steps taken after heading down one career path or another that matter, rather than simply choosing a path based on some preexistant, undying "passion".

Rather than follow your passion, think about what's important for you. For some of my friends, a huge salary is very important and they've got the education and are willing to work the long hours to get that for a few years. For some of my friends, finishing at five and not taking work home is important. For at least one of my friends, doing something emotionally fulfilling is important so he's using his econ degree at non-profits instead of in finance (where he worked before). For me, autonomy and being able to set my own schedule are things that are important to me. Even when making these considerations though, I agree with the writer of the above article that it's very often not the career path you choose to go down, but how you choose to navigate that path that matters most.

Yes, I read that NY Times article.

[Bobbi]

I am currently working a full time job and doing research at the same time to improve my profile, and I'm working on applications. It's not easy, and it sucks up 90% of my time. That's the point though, I want the end result badly enough that I'm willing to deal with it.

The are a hundred and one reasons that you'll be able to come up with why you can't do what you want, why it's hard, etc. There's also a solution for each one of them. Too much sitting? Incorporate exercise into your day, on your breaks. Lack of attention? You can find an expert who can help you figure out if it's an actual condition or lack of motivation.

What do you mean chance has passed you by?? You're never too old to do anything. There are people on this forum who are in their 40's and going back to school to change career paths and do what they want. You are 25. You've got decades ahead of you. A few years worth of hard work are definitely worth living the rest of you life doing something fulfilling.

THANK YOU! I read your first two responses and they're excellent. I will write it down for future reference when the going gets rough. Thanks a lot TeaGirl.

[TeaGirl]

THANK YOU! I read your first two responses and they're excellent. I will write it down for future reference when the going gets rough. Thanks a lot TeaGirl.

You're welcome! I'm glad I was able to help

[kateausten]

Rather than follow your passion, think about what's important for you. For some of my friends, a huge salary is very important and they've got the education and are willing to work the long hours to get that for a few years. For some of my friends, finishing at five and not taking work home is important. For at least one of my friends, doing something emotionally fulfilling is important so he's using his econ degree at non-profits instead of in finance (where he worked before). For me, autonomy and being able to set my own schedule are things that are important to me. Even when making these considerations though, I agree with the writer of the above article that it's very often not the career path you choose to go down, but how you choose to navigate that path that matters most.

Thinking about it this way really helped me. You can be passionate about a job's field or subject matter but not be a fit for it. I was extremely undecisive as an undergrad and shortly after, and something that helped me get some clarity was to think about things other than what topics I am passionate about -- things like what lifestyle factors are so important to me that I don't want any career that would limit them, what day-to-day tasks I find enjoyable or draining (think about writing, talking one on one, talking to a group, paperwork, the general tasks that most jobs are made up of regardless of the field), what elements I've loved or hated about past jobs, etc. It helped me get some clarity when the traditional career coaching style of identifying interests and passions and then pointing you towards jobs that incorporate them only made me think of more possibilities and get more indecisive. Plus, you can be interested in a field but be a bad match for a job in it -- for example, I'm very interested in second language acquisition, but teaching English wasn't a long-term fit because I find having to be "on" all day in front of a classroom exhausting (not to mention paying attention to what 20 children are doing and trying to keep every one of them on task) and I'd rather be reading or writing about it.

Regarding working full time and taking classes when you have attention issues, I couldn't do it. I tried taking a class in a certain computer skill and I was miserable by the end of that 14 hour day (when you included traffic, work, traffic, class, drive home) -- I can't imagine that being most days, long term. So everyone is different, and there are options for people who want to go to school without working a day job. I do some volunteering in my hopeful field on a freelance, remote basis and it's not tiring like sitting in a classroom after work. For awhile I was spending every spare second on my application (studying for the entrance exam, then the GRE, then writing the essay) and that was tiring, but not emotionally draining and difficult to endure. When you find something you really want it will be easier than it seems now because you will have that light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel feeling.

Edited October 17, 2012 by kateausten