dealing with prof who obviously dislikes you

[muffins]

so most of you will probably think i'm being oversensitive, but i'm actually quite certain i've met the first professor actively dislikes me. here's evidence

1. her dislike started to show (or was formed) when i submitted my first piece of written work. she appraised it and put it down in class, and praised my partner's work, while pretty much saying that she liked my partner's work a lot more. (i don't resent my partner at all, but the prof's attitude is what gets me.) i made a post about this incident a while ago. everything else below follows this incident

2. pretends that i exist in the class... when i was doing a presentation in class (along with two other students), she kind of did this forgetting act where she called out the two other people and asked, "who else is presenting?" like really? it seemed like she wanted to say that i was completely forgettable that she couldn't even remember i existed in her class haha

- on another occasion, she printed out the paper presentation schedules and ommitted the title of my paper... and told me in class that she'd forgotten the title. i'm pretty sure she could have found it pretty easily by searching for my email, which is how i submitted the proposal and which is how, i'm sure, others did as well

3. addresses me in very curt manner that literally almost borders on rude.

4. hasn't said a single positive thing about my work. this prob. sounds like my ego just needs verification, but i think it's the job of any teacher to start off critique by saying something/ANYTHING positive about student's work, unless there is absolutely none (and even then, you can say "good effort"). i'm quite certain that something positive could easily have been spun from my work

5. i'm pretty sure she's pegged my grade at an A- already and that no matter what i do or say, she will find a way to keep it here.

6. completely dismissed the main point i was making one of my short papers by saying, "i don't see the relevance of your main point," which is LITERALLY ALL SHE SAID about the paper LOL. i still maintain, objectively and having had time to dwell on the paper, that my main point is valid and an interesting addition to the article to which i was responding.

7. because i initially really wanted to like her, i told her some difficulty i was going through in my personal life via email... no answer.

i've pretty much resigned myself to getting an A- in the course, and possibly something even lower. she is the least understanding and approachable person i've ever met. she also needs to get off her ideological high-horse and see academic work objectively. should i present what i've written here to the chair of my dept or just pretend nothing's happening?

[Bearcat1]

I don't know what I would do in your situation, but I would caution you that if you bring this to the chair, it could result in some kind of face-to-face sit down with this professor and you and the chair. You don't have a grade yet, and the things you list, although irritating and degrading and hurtful, aren't anything she is going to be "in trouble" for, per se. Also, all of that stuff so far is her word against yours, and if she just says she isn't rude to you, then the chair is going to think you are overly sensitive. If you get lower than an A- and you truly believe it's unjustified, then I would reevaluate and maybe speak to someone. But at this point she hasn't actually done anything that can be fixed. And you don't want the chair telling her she has to be nice to you, because that isn't going to make her like you. At all. I think maybe just chalk it up to a bad experience and move on. And hate her once the class is over and and never take a course with her again.

[muffins]

yeah you're right in many respects. speaking to the chair could just lead to really awkward situations and no she hasn't done anything that's reprimand-able... although i have to wonder if my grades have been delegated to me fairly i submitted a *really* rough proposal to be critiqued (not for marks) and it was an A-, and then i submitted a much more polished proposal (for marks) and it was still an A-. frustrating. i honestly thought i made some really good points in it, but she basically just dismissed the argument again lol and seemed pretty pissed off in the comments. so i'm basically tailoring my final paper to be an argument she will approve of. this woman has no concept of being objective.

[Bearcat1]

I completely understand your frustration with her, and wanting to do something about it, but I think it may be a lost cause. I'm so sorry, though. The term is almost over and then you can avoid her like the plague.

[Eigen]

I understand that you feel singled out, but I want to reiterate the point that as yet, she hasn't done anything that is objectively wrong. She's done things you feel are too harsh, or might have improper underlying reasons, but she hasn't done anything "wrong", in my opinion.

I also wanted to mention that you emphasize here (and in your last post) that she isn't "constructively" criticizing you. My experience has been that the farther you go, the less this will be the case. While helpful to your self-confidence and ego, spending the extra time to compliment things isn't really the most efficient way to turn you into a better writer. Most professors I've worked with in grad school (as well as many in undergrad) work under the assumption that anything they don't point out is fine. And harsh criticism for sub-par work is quite common.

Once you start grad school, the bar is often abruptly set much higher- you aren't expected to "pass", you're expected to do excellent work.

I wonder if some of this stems from the fact that your first piece for the class was something you admittedly spent 2 hours on, and the lack of effort showed.

Also, you mention that your draft went from an A- to an A- final version... How did you respond to the comments on the draft? Did she point out that she didn't like your argument at that point? If the replies were truly "pissed off", it may be because she doesn't feel like you're responding to critiques (ie, her comments on the draft).

[muffins]

I didn't mention that I changed topics completely when going from draft to final version. The comment for the draft was basically "more clear," with absolutely zero response to the content. I got the writing part down pretty solidly for the final version, but this time it was the argument that was problematic.

No, she hasn't done anything "wrong," but I kind of suspect that there is an underlying reason...

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

Eigen is correct. Professors are pretty harsh on grad students because you're adults that know what you're getting into. They're not baby sitters, to be blunt.

That's what throws alot of people off, including me, and it takes getting used to. I realized that you must self teach in every single graduate class. Don't think of them as classes; think of them as enforced self study sessions preparing for a trial by fire or something like that.

So indeed her harshly criticizing your work is actually good; the professor cares enough to write back. I mean, one of my professors doesn't even answer questions about the homework problems and when someone said "I need help on the homework, I'm not doing well in this class" his advice was "take the withdraw and I'll see you next year."

[muffins]

Actually, it seems like she DOESN'T care enough to write back, because the comments are usually approximately one sentence. She gives other students checkmarks and positive comments, but I guess my work has been pretty mediocre enough that I haven't earned a single one of these... Again, I think this could just be her narrow mind set on finding something specific, and completely dismissing other perspectives, because I do tend to think differently from other people -- as many professors have told me.

[ktel]

I really don't see anything specifically wrong with what she's doing. You say you want her to see you "objectively", but that doesn't seem like the real issue here. It sounds like you want some sort of personal (albeit still professional) relationship with her and are annoyed that it isn't happening. For example, why would you divulge personal information to someone like that, especially via e-mail?

[TakeruK]

Although it doesn't sound like she is being very helpful in her criticism, I don't think she is doing anything actually wrong that is worth bringing this up to the dept. chair. I have to disagree when you say that teachers have to find something positive to say about a student's work -- although it's nice, I don't think that is necessarily true.

You are not going to like everyone you meet and not everyone you meet will like you. In your shoes, I would accept that the prof and I are too different to get along and be glad that I won't have to work with them anymore after the semester is over. I would probably try to keep the person off any committees (e.g. for your comps, thesis, etc.) and to not take the bad relationship so personally.

[muffins]

ktel, i think you're wrong here. what i said was tempered so that it was professional and vague enough, but under any polite circumstances, the addressee would have replied with an understanding at least or maybe even sympathy...

[Bearcat1]

I really don't see anything specifically wrong with what she's doing. You say you want her to see you "objectively", but that doesn't seem like the real issue here. It sounds like you want some sort of personal (albeit still professional) relationship with her and are annoyed that it isn't happening. For example, why would you divulge personal information to someone like that, especially via e-mail?

ktel, i think you're wrong here. what i said was tempered so that it was professional and vague enough, but under any polite circumstances, the addressee would have replied with an understanding at least or maybe even sympathy...

Unless that personal information related directly to the class (being late or missing an assignment, etc.) I agree with ktel that it's probably best not to share personal information with professors. At least not until you have established a rapport with them, which, with her, you haven't. And being a heartless bitch isn't doing something wrong in terms of her job. Some people are just like that, but it's still not something you can really complain about.

[muffins]

Thanks for the input and help, guys... I actually think I've figured out why she dislikes me now based on a new revelation. And it makes so much sense.

We had a make-up class this morning (yes, Saturday). I got a mark back, and the comments were pretty off and easily refutable. It seemed like she was looking for an excuse, any excuse, to peg the mark down... So it really seems like the better I do, the lower my marks drops. How frustrating ugh

[fuzzylogician]

I'm sure your attitude towards this professor is obvious to her, and is not helping. You come across in your posts as very frustrated and you've already decided that everything this professor does is against you and/or wrong. Frankly I don't think anything you described is particularly out of the ordinary or means anyone is out to get you. In any event, though, I'd recommend riding this semester out and then doing your best to avoid her. Take steps to ensure she's not on your committees and don't take any more classes with her.

[muffins]

well, i haven't mentioned this yet, because it's pretty personal: i'm black and she did sort of say that "black people are less intelligent because their skull sizes are smaller, which is supported by scientific evidence" to the class. this completely alienated me from her.

[1Q84]

well, i haven't mentioned this yet, because it's pretty personal: i'm black and she did sort of say that "black people are less intelligent because their skull sizes are smaller, which is supported by scientific evidence" to the class. this completely alienated me from her.

I find this hard to believe. If she did in fact say that, then you certainly have something to say to the chair about her.

You also didn't need to hold this information back in your original post. Anyone with the right mind would be alienated by her if she said that.

BS detector is off the charts here.

[muffins]

I find this hard to believe. If she did in fact say that, then you certainly have something to say to the chair about her.

You also didn't need to hold this information back in your original post. Anyone with the right mind would be alienated by her if she said that.

BS detector is off the charts here.

First of all, the way she said it was neutral; she even cited a scientific journal or some author, and her freedom of speech does let her say such things. Yes, there IS scientific literature that supports what she said, so it's not like she's pulling this out of thin air. I just found it VERY INSENSITIVE that she would mention the intellectual inferiority of my race when there was an african-american person (visibly) in her class.

Second, for personal reasons and for reasons of anonymity, no i didn't want to reveal this event... but I don't really care anymore (result of frustration i'm sure) and I think it's crucial to mention this fact in order to get relevant, good feedback.

and honestly... the fact that you, of all people, are saying that i'm lying about my race is kind of silly and offensive. why would i lie? i know we had a misunderstanding and i might have (inadvertently) offended your feminist sensibilities, but maybe you shouldn't let your personal prejudices get in the way of being objective.

[ohgoodness]

and honestly... the fact that you, of all people, are saying that i'm lying about my race is kind of silly and offensive. why would i lie? i know we had a misunderstanding and i might have (inadvertently) offended your feminist sensibilities, but maybe you shouldn't let your personal prejudices get in the way of being objective.

The point was about what your professor said, not about your personal characteristics.

This is just trolling..

[muffins]

She didn't make clear what "BS detector is off the charts here" and "I find this hard to believe" were in reference to.

[muffins]

Well anyway, I just got the sense that she found the whole post hard to believe, and yeah the prof REALLY DID SAY WHAT THEY SAID. If I came across as confrontation or "troll-ish," ... it's because I'm a little bit sensitive about the fact that I'm a black female in a predominantly white-male academic field (another reason I didn't mention the event in the intro), as well as the whole situation in general.

[bamafan]

If she really said this, you have grounds for complaint because that's racial discrimination. Interestingly, she should know that her statements are false anyway... very Richard Owen-esque.

I too find it hard to believe for this reason. I can't imagine any philosophy (or humanities) professor actually believing brain size corresponds to intelligence level amongst human races. It's just a very backwards, disproven 19th century concept when taxonomy and science was dominated by superficial anatomy instead of molecular science. Even if she has no biology training at all, it just seems so outrageous.

[fuzzylogician]

If she really said this, you have grounds for complaint because that's racial discrimination. Interestingly, she should know that her statements are false anyway... very Richard Owen-esque.

I too find it hard to believe for this reason. <snip>

I'm not sure why some people choose not to believe the OP - what's to be gained by lying like that on an anonymous internet forum? It'll only make the advice the OP receives all the less relevant for their situation.

OP - this is a shame but it doesn't change my opinion. We still don't know that this prof has anything against you personally; but either way, the best thing you can do for yourself is keep your interactions with her to a minimum and stop them altogether once you're no longer in her class. Sounds like you can't win this one, but the loss won't be too great either. I know it's hard to let it go but it's really the best way to help yourself through this situation.

[Chai_latte]

I'm not sure why some people choose not to believe the OP - what's to be gained by lying like that on an anonymous internet forum? It'll only make the advice the OP receives all the less relevant for their situation.

OP - this is a shame but it doesn't change my opinion. We still don't know that this prof has anything against you personally; but either way, the best thing you can do for yourself is keep your interactions with her to a minimum and stop them altogether once you're no longer in her class. Sounds like you can't win this one, but the loss won't be too great either. I know it's hard to let it go but it's really the best way to help yourself through this situation.

Agreed

[1Q84]

I'm not sure why some people choose not to believe the OP

It's just such an outrageous claim to be making. It's hard to believe any professor could get away with saying that kinda garbage with the rest of the class going along with it. If the prof really did say that, then that should have been the preface to the entire thread altogether, not something like "well, she kinda gives me the cold shoulder" or "well, she kinda sorta doesn't support me and say nice things to me."

[fuzzylogician]

It's just such an outrageous claim to be making. It's hard to believe any professor could get away with saying that kinda garbage with the rest of the class going along with it. If the prof really did say that, then that should have been the preface to the entire thread altogether, not something like "well, she kinda gives me the cold shoulder" or "well, she kinda sorta doesn't support me and say nice things to me."

I don't know, I don't find it that much of a stretch to imagine that someone might ask for non-race-specific advice for dealing with a professor who (they think) doesn't like them, and not bringing up the race issue until after others remark that they don't see what the problem is.

On a more general note, I don't see how telling someone to their face that you think they're lying does anyone any good. Like I wrote in the other thread, if you have constructive advice then you should go ahead and give it but you have this habit of putting people down and leading the conversation down unhelpful paths. Don't you see that diverting the focus from someone's obviously distressed question to a discussion of their credibility hurts everyone involved?