write your own rejection letter!

[xunoname]

My rejection letter to schools:

Dear XX University:

I regret that I am not unable to accept your admission at this time. Your school is very good, however I receive over 400 offers this year, most of which are from various departments of Harvard, Yale, MIT, and etc. The competition is very tough, so I have to reject many qualified schools.

At first, I put you on my waitling list. However, president of Harvard keeps writing emails to me every hours, and I find that the professors there do have common research interest with me. Therefore, I have to decline your admission.

Nontheless, if you can pay me 350,000,000 dollars a year (excluded bonus) , I can still consider your offer.

I am sorry that I do not have a better outcome to report to you. I hope you could find other excellent students. Don't be discouraged!

Yours,

xunoname

[zoberg]

Dear xunoname,

We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to our mathematics PhD program at this time.

Your application was the strongest we had ever seen, so we thought you deserves a huge offer: tuition waier+a stipend of $ 350,000,000/year. However, due to the current economic crisis, we really do not have so much money for you. You are so excellent that we will feel guity if we don't pay you $ 350,000,000/year, therefore we have no choice but to deny your application.

If we can make enough money next year, we will try to have you here.

We are so guilty.

Your servant,

xx

So ideal. I want this one.

[avidLayout]

Dear avidLayout,

Congratulations!

We were impressed by your tremendous application! You would be an ideal fit for our department, and, if anything, truly overqualified.

Of course, we will not at this time be able to admit you into the department. We, the admissions board, took a bribe from another school's ultimate frisbee team. They wished us to prevent you from joining our university's team, and playing them at sectionals/regionals. They simply could not bear the utter destruction you surely would have wrought upon their team.

You may judge us for this *ahem* irregular result of your application, but we'd like to reconcile by inviting you to the board's newly purchased cabin getaway (we have jet-skis!).

Sincerely,

Admissions Board

University X

[Reinventing]

, Page 4. Only thing to put a smile on my face yet today.

[belowthree]

Dear belowthree,

Unfortunately we weren't able to sneak your application by the pencil pushers that demand things like a GPA less frightening than a note in the mail from the selective service. However, let us know where you end up as just because we couldn't sneak you into our school doesn't mean we aren't interested in doing fabulous research with you in the future.

See you around,

~Adcom.

[peanutbutter]

Kid,

Stop kidding yourself.

Sincerely,

Somebody

[Dontuse]

Je*us

that's gold peanutbutter. simply hilarious.

[washdc]

Dear djrg,

We would like to make you know that our admission process is made in such a way to remove any possible bias from our professors. For this purpose, we have made our own algorithm based on randomness, similar to the work I think you would like to do.

This is why, I regret to let you know that your application slipped-off my bed when I threw into the air, and since it fell into the ground, we are unable to offer you admission for this Fall. I would have to admit that I didn't even read your application and know your name and area of interest just thanks to the initial scan of the applications my secretary did in order to classify applications. That said, I will never know if you could have been my best student ever; however, we need to be fair and stick to our well-proven process.

I wish you the best in your future endevours.

Regards,

Chair of Department

University

This made me laugh for five minutes straight.

[MDLee]

My rejection letter to schools:

Dear XX University:

I regret that I am not unable to accept your admission at this time. Your school is very good, however I receive over 400 offers this year, most of which are from various departments of Harvard, Yale, MIT, and etc. The competition is very tough, so I have to reject many qualified schools.

LOL!!!!!!!! Wouldn't THAT just be a perfect turnabout!

[MDLee]

Dear all of the universities who rejected me:

Who's laughing now?

always,

MDLee

[Dontuse]

Dear all of the universities who rejected me:

Who's laughing now?

always,

MDLee

Winner. :!:

[snap]

This particular letter came to me in a dream last week.

"

Dear Snap,

We are sorry, unfortunately you are the only applicant we could not accept this year.

Universtiy of Vermont.

"

The letter was painted (in huge letters) on the back of a Mini Cooper they send me.

[kristela204]

I'll take a rejection with a free mini cooper any day. That's awesome.

[snap]

Cooper or no coper, i was sad. I hear u though.

[zygote]

Dear Recessive Gene,

We were sadly unable to admit you this reproductive cycle, due largely to random fluctuations in enzyme concentration.

Please accept our best wishes for your future career!

Warmest Regards,

The Chromosome Admissions Committee.