Feeling isolated

[Tegs]

I like this idea of a hug. I just need a hug and to figure out why the hell these people think its ok to put us through such torture!!!

[Dontuse]

Dontuse [hugs] Tegs

I may be racking these up. It's the 2nd one this week.

[koolkat1825]

The last of my three roommates got accepted to school today. That means all three of them are in, while I still am waiting and running out of hope. This whole thing has my stomach in knots and it's so hard feeling like I'm the only one who might fail. I feel like they're in some happy club that I haven't been invited to join.

[TulipOHare]

Presentation aside, I don't disagree entirely with where monkeefugg is coming from.

If you got in somewhere with no funding, it is still POSSIBLE for you to go to grad school. You'd have to take out an assload of loans, and that would suck big time. And I'm gathering that in a lot of fields, it's sort of a vote of no confidence. (In my field, students frequently are not supported at the MA level.) So it'd be really hard, but you COULD go.

But if you're not accepted anywhere, you can't go. Period. It doesn't matter if you win the lottery and money's no object, you still can't go to grad school.

[Reinventing]

deleted

[Katm]

Ugh I feel exactly the same way. I'm a senior at the moment, and I'm also doing a senior thesis, waiting it out makes me not want to address any other commitments I have. I froze on a calculus exam on Friday, all the while thinking "If i get my worst grade in college, in a class I only took (every day at 8 am no less) to get into a graduate school that didn't accept me, I will be an epic failure." I feel like I'm valuing all of my hard work these past 4 years on whether or not I'm admitted to a program. Half the time I expect rejection, and I just have no desire to have fun or think of anything else! I think I'm crazy, lol.

[dherres]

Half the time I expect rejection, and I just have no desire to have fun or think of anything else! I think I'm crazy, lol.

I'll second that! For the past year, I feel like I've been unable to allow myself to really enjoy anything I do; all of my coping mechanisms involve emotionally escaping/avoiding. For a while, my only comfort was Zelda: Twilight Princess. Mmm..... lots and lots of Zelda.....

[rising_star]

Oh, I remember that pain! It'll be worth it. You have to keep the faith.

P.S. Marine science is totally one of my interests. Where did you apply?

[verito]

Totally agree, this process is DRAINING.

And unless you're in the same situation, no , no one understands, not your family, not your friends, not your SO. So yes, you re pretty much on your own.

I also have to deal with my boss, since i work and he had to write a recommendation for me, who keeps asking me that on average twice a week which is getting on my nerves. In a climate of lay-offs, i don't even know what would be the better answer...

I've just reached the point when i want this to be over, i am tired of checking my email 1000 times a day, i am tired of running through the mailbox to see if there's a fat or thin envelope there ( seriously, mail must be the most cruel way of announcing decisions, what if you leave on a work trip?? seriously??)

But on the brighter side... it will be over soon.

Let's just hope there's no waitlist involved ( sighs)

[Elle White]

Totally agree, this process is DRAINING.

And unless you're in the same situation, no , no one understands, not your family, not your friends, not your SO. So yes, you re pretty much on your own.

It's funny - I am not the type to get involved in forums, but this one makes me feel immensely better. I've been out of school for two years, so everyone in my tight knit undergrad program has long since been accepted or rejected - and they are responding to my questions with a sort of detached vagueness. They're probably trying to suppress their own memories of this time...

I applied to 8 schools, and have only heard from one - a rejection. Granted, this is good, and from an optimistic point of view, I could still be in the running for every other school. But all sorts of "what ifs" keep tormenting me. What if they got my address mixed up and one of my neighbors is hoarding all of my rejections? What if my applications were so bad they didn't even want to waste postage? What if they have decided to post my personal statement in the break room as comic relief for everyone working very hard on responding to legitimate candidates?

I'm a female philosopher - believe me, I don't need help being neurotic.

And monkee - I feel ya. My interest is in existentialism, but I considered focusing on Leibnizian ontology to give myself a better shot. Graduate programs (just like my undergrad classes) really are male dominated.

[Katm]

P.S. Marine science is totally one of my interests. Where did you apply?

I applied to UW, UNC Chapel Hill, and William & Mary (VIMS).. I'm feeling now that maybe I should have applied to more places, but I had some trouble getting recommendations in on time, some profs will really wait until the last minute!

[Katm]

OH oh ... wait ... One more thing. I also feel like NONE of my friends understand, and all they want to do is party and go to the bar... which I used to enjoy, but now it's like I feel like I don't want to go out, unless I have something to celebrate.... :cry:

[Emilee]

I am definitely feeling small right now.

I finally heard from my last school, which also happened to be my first choice....Rejection :cry:

I am now the girl at the middle school dance that does not get picked. Maybe I'll get somebody's leftovers at one of the schools I am waitlisted at. Sigh.

Now I have to go and tell my advisor tomorrow. Time to start job hunting, in case the waitlists do not work out (which seems very likely now).

[cara susanna]

Aww, Emilee, I'm really sorry to hear that. But you may get off one of the waitlists, you never know.

[clx]

Cheer up guys, especially those of you still on a waitlist or waiting for a reply. I feel exactly like that about a week ago - tearing my hair out, suffering insomnia, productivity dropped 50% - all that. And then this fateful morning I got 2 emails, in a row. You'll get yours too, though refreshing mailbox obsessively won't help, as I found out. =) Best wishes.

[piccgeek]

I don't think I've ever felt this isolated in my life. I am a super-extravert, but now for the first time ever I don't want to talk to anyone becuase I feel like no one understands where I'm coming from. Most of my friends are searching for jobs, not schools. My boyfriend has been getting courted since january, being flown out to MIT and up to Ann Arbor and everywhere else. And here I wait and wait and wait and once in a blue moon hear that "no" that is the funeral bell toll of my aspirations. The more he tries to make me feel better the more frustrated I become--how can he understand where I'm coming from, with his heap of fellowships and professors calling him to talk about their research? I love the boy to death (we've been dating since we were freshmen), and knowing we might end up on different sides of the country doesn't make this waiting process any easier to navigate.

I feel for all of you with this unending, insufferable waiting process. I would try to offer sympathy, but since I can't stand hearing it myself I won't bother saddling the rest of you with any pathetic attempts.

[whateverneveram3n]

I feel for all of you with this unending, insufferable waiting process. I would try to offer sympathy, but since I can't stand hearing it myself I won't bother saddling the rest of you with any pathetic attempts.

haha...an empathetic, light punch in the arm to you, too, dude.