Guilt is preventing me from TAing (no joke!)

[spunky]

i know this may sound a little bit weird, but it's starting to become a pain in the behind for me. 

 

about a couple of years ago i started my MA in Psychometrics (Quantitative Psychology) in the University of British Columbia (Vancouver, BC, Canada). i am very fortunate because i come from a family with enough financial resources that my parents are basically footing the bill for tuition, rent, books, going to conferences, everything. the people in my cohort are not as lucky as i am, so i thought the fair thing to do would be to always give them first dibs on any TA, RA or teaching positions. so didn't TA the first semester... nor the semester after that.... nor the semester after that.... nor the semester after that... etc all the way until last May when i graduated.

 

i am starting my PhD in September and i REALLY, REALLY want to teach because my CV is severely lacking in that area (and my dream is to become a university prof one day), but then there are these other grad students who also REALLY REALLY need the money. sometime in april (before the semester ended) i casually commented that i was planning to apply for one of the TA positions in September and the immediate reaction was something along the lines of "but you don't need it, you're getting a free ride!" which i sensed was a joke masking the frustration/fear that if i applied, someone's gonna end up without TAship.

 

i'm really torn right  now. on the one hand i feel very guilty, particularly considering in how much student debt some of these people are in. on the other hand, i feel like 2 years of letting other people benefit from this is enough and that i, too, have the right to ask for a position. 

 

overall i'm just feeling like crap

 

help please?

[Lisa44201]

Your parents paying the bill and you getting a free ride are two different things. I wouldn't consider your situation a free ride.

 

Aside from the financial issue, a TA position is good experience if you want to teach. I would suggest that, if you want to go in in academia, the TA position might be a benefit there, too.

[Guest |||]

Very considerate of you.

 

The practical advise is, do it and pocket the money.  I suppose if you wanted something a bit more middle ground, you could try volunteering to be a T.A. for a class, or even taking the money you are paid and giving it back to the university as a donation for scholarship funds.

 

 

Ultimately though, do what will help you sleep easier at night, in this case that might be your best bet.

[wtncffts]

First, is this still UBC for the PhD? I'd think there would be some form of guaranteed funding. Second, yes, TAing is great experience and something that should be done if you're pursuing an academic career. Third, I don't sympathize with your guilt at all, sorry. You're going into a PhD program; you should be mature enough to be financially independent if you wanted to be.  

[somethinbruin]

First of all, I would say that it's a good idea in general to keep your personal finances (no matter where they come from) to yourself. No one needs to know that your parents pay for everything. If you remove this information from the equation, then much of the problem goes away and you might not feel so bad.

 

Second, don't feel guilty about going for a TA positions. TA spots are not need-based financial aid, they are merit based and awarded at the discretion of the university. If you really want to pursue a career in academia, then it is vital that you create a CV that reflects that. Without teaching experience (at least in my field) it is nearly impossible to get a job. Regardless of where your other financial support comes from, a TA position is important to your career and professional development. 

 

You have every right to seek a TA position and you should not feel bad about that. Throw your hat in the ring.

[nugget]

This is a great suggestion. Offering to donate the money to a scholarship fund might be a solution to ease your conscience.

 

Very considerate of you.

 

The practical advise is, do it and pocket the money.  I suppose if you wanted something a bit more middle ground, you could try volunteering to be a T.A. for a class, or even taking the money you are paid and giving it back to the university as a donation for scholarship funds.

 

 

Ultimately though, do what will help you sleep easier at night, in this case that might be your best bet.

 

On the other hand, if you want to keep the money for yourself, you have every right to do so. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty about having a TA position tell them you want to teach after you graduate and this is one of the reasons why you decided to pursue a PhD.

 

Remind these students that you're refrained from applying for 2 years, but now is your chance to get some hands on experience in order the be competitive for the job market, which is only a couple of years away. If you wait until after you graduate, you will be competing against other people who have lots of experience while you have none. You should not be penalized or made to feel guilty because your parents are well off. You are an adult and need to set yourself up for a good career so that you can achieve financial autonomy in a couple of years after you graduate.

[fuzzylogician]

As others have said, teaching is important for your career development and although you've been very noble, you're hurting your chances of successfully finding a job once you graduate if you continue to lack any teaching experience. You won't continue to rely on your parents' help forever and you need to give yourself the best training that will lead to the best job you can find in the future. I think it's admirable that you've been so considerate of your friends, but it's time to start taking care of your own needs. I don't think there is any reason for your to feel guilty about that. I also don't think there is any reason for you to donate the money; it's yours and you will earn it fairly. Save it, you never know when you might need it. 

[Guest |||]

You're going into a PhD program; you should be mature enough to be financially independent if you wanted to be.  

 

Maturity is the determinate of finical independence?

[DeeLovely79]

I would also advise you to not believe everything your classmates tell you.  People in academia are known for overstating their situations: "I'm so broke", "I'm so busy", "I so didn't study for that exam" "I published x manuscripts this year". If you didn't apply for a TA position and then the person who got it was always complaining that broke but seems to always have money take vacations or go bar hopping? What if the person who gets the position is already fully funded? Would you be satisfied with your decision? 

 

It is never advisable to make decisions for about life based on other people's situations especially since you can't be sure that the desired outcome will be achieved. Just because you remove yourself from the consideration for the position doesn't mean that a student with financial need will get the position.

 

I agree with NickCage, do what is best for your career and what you can live with.

[spunky]

thank you everyone for your kind words. i think you're all right. i want the teaching experience and i think i deserve it, particularly after 2 yrs of letting everyone take up all the opportunities. i guess after being constantly bombarded by news about student debt this and student debt that and how hard it is for young people to get jobs and this and that i thought i was becoming part of the problem if i applied for positions that others might need more than i do ... however ... heck, i need the teaching experience!

 

i'm gonna be filling out and sending my application tomorrow. if someone ends up without a TAship well too bad then. it's my turn to play (lol)

[somethinbruin]

^^ Good for you. I think this is the right call. Best of luck.

[spunky]

just as a minor updated, i did end up getting a TA position! 

 

thanks for everyone who helped give me the courage to apply!

 

[St Andrews Lynx]

That's fantastic news. Just remember...you've still got the rest of your life to rack up plenty of debt.

[yhakak]

look at it this way - would you consciously avoid getting high grades in order not to get an honors scholarship? Of course not, because that's merit-based. TA positions are also merit based, and you should not in any way feel that you're taking anything away from anyone.

 

And, as others said, keep the money, you've earned it. 

[Guest |||]

look at it this way - would you consciously avoid getting high grades in order not to get an honors scholarship? Of course not, because that's merit-based. TA positions are also merit based, and you should not in any way feel that you're taking anything away from anyone.

 

And, as others said, keep the money, you've earned it. 

 

Actually at UBC, a TAship isn't really merit based, funding and scholarships would be

Edited September 1, 2013 by |||

[dr. t]

A bit late, but I'd just add that one of my professors is fond of pointing out that the true purpose of grad school is to get a job when you leave graduate school. That usually means teaching skills.

[somethinbruin]

A bit late, but I'd just add that one of my professors is fond of pointing out that the true purpose of grad school is to get a job when you leave graduate school. That usually means teaching skills.

 

I like that. I am going to steal it and use it all the time.

[wildviolet]

I have a similar dilemma (but related to research, not teaching). I talked with my advisor about it, and while having a research assistantship does not preclude me from applying for summer research fellowships (where I get to work on my own stuff rather than my professor's projects), I feel a tad guilty knowing that other doctoral students do not have the luxury (frankly) of getting paid during the summer to gain research experience. However, after working full-time all summer on three research projects, I want time next summer to be able to work on my own stuff. The research fellowship would pay for basic living expenses so I could focus solely on my practicum project (the next major milestone in my program).

 

After reading this thread, I am convinced that I should apply for it because it's what would be best for me. Thanks!

[Duna]

I wouldn't feel guilty about other students, Wildviolet. The only thing to consider (but I'm sure you have) is how important staying on the good side of your advisor will be for your PhD and future career in general and whether working for her/him during the summer might be better in the long run.

Apart from that: Take any money you can get for any sort of scholarship, grant, etc. because they kind of kick you into a positive feedback "loop". You got one, you're more likely to get the next one. You got two, you are even more likely to get a third one. Academia is no place for looking at Gini coefficients for funding. I don't even want to know how badly they'd look.

[Guest |||]

So, what class did you get for your TAship

[wildviolet]

I wouldn't feel guilty about other students, Wildviolet. The only thing to consider (but I'm sure you have) is how important staying on the good side of your advisor will be for your PhD and future career in general and whether working for her/him during the summer might be better in the long run.

Apart from that: Take any money you can get for any sort of scholarship, grant, etc. because they kind of kick you into a positive feedback "loop". You got one, you're more likely to get the next one. You got two, you are even more likely to get a third one. Academia is no place for looking at Gini coefficients for funding. I don't even want to know how badly they'd look.

 

Thanks!

 

Yes, I have considered "staying on the good side" of my advisor, and I felt comfortable enough with him to discuss the issue openly and frankly. He knows that I'm dedicated to research projects once I start on them, but he also understands about having time to do my own stuff. He is the best advisor in the world! The research work that I'm doing with him right now is helpful for learning how to do his particular line of research, but it's not something I want to continue in my own dissertation work.

[spunky]

So, what class did you get for your TAship

 

Structural Equation Modelling :-)

[Guest |||]

Structural Equation Modelling :-)

 

fancy shmancy

[snowshoes]

i know this may sound a little bit weird, but it's starting to become a pain in the behind for me. 

 

about a couple of years ago i started my MA in Psychometrics (Quantitative Psychology) in the University of British Columbia (Vancouver, BC, Canada). i am very fortunate because i come from a family with enough financial resources that my parents are basically footing the bill for tuition, rent, books, going to conferences, everything. the people in my cohort are not as lucky as i am, so i thought the fair thing to do would be to always give them first dibs on any TA, RA or teaching positions. so didn't TA the first semester... nor the semester after that.... nor the semester after that.... nor the semester after that... etc all the way until last May when i graduated.

 

i am starting my PhD in September and i REALLY, REALLY want to teach because my CV is severely lacking in that area (and my dream is to become a university prof one day), but then there are these other grad students who also REALLY REALLY need the money. sometime in april (before the semester ended) i casually commented that i was planning to apply for one of the TA positions in September and the immediate reaction was something along the lines of "but you don't need it, you're getting a free ride!" which i sensed was a joke masking the frustration/fear that if i applied, someone's gonna end up without TAship.

 

i'm really torn right  now. on the one hand i feel very guilty, particularly considering in how much student debt some of these people are in. on the other hand, i feel like 2 years of letting other people benefit from this is enough and that i, too, have the right to ask for a position. 

 

overall i'm just feeling like crap

 

help please?

Geez, glad I don't have those problems!