Feeling horrible

[Catria]

I truly hope Minnesota isn't going to be my only acceptance, but I feel horrible with respect to Princeton, UChicago, Michigan and WUSTL... although I admittedly do not expect much from Princeton or UChicago.

[Chiqui74]

Last night I had a hell of a time falling asleep because immediately before I went to bed, I read about 3 people being accepted to Minnesota in my field I have heard nothing at all from anywhere.  I just tossed and turned, thinking that if I can't get into Minnesota, I can't get in anywhere.  I'm keeping busy at work, but I'm having a hard time putting the defeatist thoughts at bay. I'm so exhausted today.

[historianhl]

I feel the same way. I alternate between wishing I could do it over, somehow better, and just wanting to know. I keep saying I'll be fine if I don't get in anywhere- I have a job I enjoy in my field- but the last two weeks I have had a huge increase in my anxiety levels.

[cogsciphdreams]

Last night I had a hell of a time falling asleep because immediately before I went to bed, I read about 3 people being accepted to Minnesota in my field I have heard nothing at all from anywhere.  I just tossed and turned, thinking that if I can't get into Minnesota, I can't get in anywhere.  I'm keeping busy at work, but I'm having a hard time putting the defeatist thoughts at bay. I'm so exhausted today.

 

 

I feel the same, and although I applied very narrowly, I thought I would have heard something by now. Seeing the results can be a real "ouch" moment. I keep seeing people say that interviews are often sent out in waves, but I think my prospects aren't looking good. I applied to schools based on research fit (not rankings), so I thought along with my strong application I would have a shot. 

 

Not being invited to interview sure feels horrible, and makes me wonder if there was some massive mistake with my application. I would like to let it go and move on, but the uncertainty continues to give me hope. This purgatory is really difficult to live in. 

[Shiji E. Moji]

I feel the same, and although I applied very narrowly, I thought I would have heard something by now. Seeing the results can be a real "ouch" moment. I keep seeing people say that interviews are often sent out in waves, but I think my prospects aren't looking good. I applied to schools based on research fit (not rankings), so I thought along with my strong application I would have a shot. 

 

Not being invited to interview sure feels horrible, and makes me wonder if there was some massive mistake with my application. I would like to let it go and move on, but the uncertainty continues to give me hope. This purgatory is really difficult to live in. 

Yes -- a thousand times, yes. I only applied to two schools (same reason), and I thought I would have heard something by now. One school asked me to translate something before they continued to review my application -- think this is a good sign? I have this back-and-forth in my mind; Oh, they see potential in me -- but, oh, maybe they don't think I can do it. 

And then I think: Oh, God. What if I can't do it? What if I'm not what they're looking for? 

And then I die a little on the inside.

[Chiqui74]

I think if schools said "We'll notify applicants on Xmonth, day, year," it would be so much less stressful.  The worst part is the uncertainty of the WHEN.

[Cheshire_Cat]

I doubt it.  Waiting for CPA exam results was still really stressful even though I knew the day that they were coming out.  It was very acutely stressful, sweating, heart racing, refreshing the results page every three minutes... whereas this is more of a dull, long lasting ache.  And just because I knew when they were coming out didn't stop me from worrying about them beforehand.

Edited February 4, 2015 by Alice89

[hyronomus4]

I think if schools said "We'll notify applicants on Xmonth, day, year," it would be so much less stressful.  The worst part is the uncertainty of the WHEN.

YES!  

I keep thinking the email will show up when I least expect it so I try not to expect it so it will come faster.  Logically I know that's not very sound but this application process has not always brought out the best in me. 

[Sarochan]

I think if schools said "We'll notify applicants on Xmonth, day, year," it would be so much less stressful.  The worst part is the uncertainty of the WHEN.

This would be incredibly helpful and I really wish that schools actually did this.

[scarvesandcardigans]

This would be incredibly helpful and I really wish that schools actually did this. 

 

Same. Thankfully some of the programs I applied to have outlined on their websites that certain decisions are made by certain dates, so I know when I should be feeling like I have missed something. But it would just be so, so great if they outlined exact dates, or even a time during a month. Anything helps.

[konggeshang]

The 1st rej from sheffield hurt me a lot and I feel like my suck GPA will kill me soon T T...

[wuglife427]

I'm feeling pretty horrible right now--a perfectly nice email about an open house has led to an absurd level of anxiety. The grad admissions director gave me a list of courses I can sit in on...the only course in my main subfield is a seminar focusing on a cool phenomenon that I actually worked on in part of my writing sample, but it's 3 hours long and I'm only at this school for one day, so it doesn't seem like the best use of my time. Will I be judged poorly if I decide not to go to that class? There are other classes in other subfields that I would like to attend, so its not like I'm showing zero interest in things I said I wanted to learn about. I just can't take too long to decide.

Also he asked if there's anyone in particular I would like to meet with. I already talked to one POI over Skype, so I guess we can talk again, but my other POI is actually not there atm. So I've spent the afternoon/evening/ohmygodit'smidnightalready reading faculty profiles, stressing about stupid stuff like how many people I should list, and becoming convinced that since I don't have an immediate answer it means I don't know my field or my own interests well enough and cannot actually do this whole grad school thing. I know this is just waiting anxiety and imposter syndrome talking, but it's really easy to get sucked into those feelings. I just need to stop acting like every interaction with the department is an opportunity to ruin my chances, answer this email, and get some homework done. And maybe sleep.

[HistoryGypsy]

Does anyone else hate weekends now? It's bad enough hating the week because of my high stress job; now the weekends, which used to be the release at the end of five days of misery, are ten times worse and drag out nearly as long. I wish at least one school would just say SOMETHING. Anything. Even a rejection is better than constant silence. Two programs had final application dates back in December and they still haven't starting accepting/rejecting/wait-listing! (At least, not according to Grad Cafe.) I've been mentally beating myself up for weeks for only applying to six schools, especially when I see people getting accepted to schools that I either outright decided against or chickened out of applying to. I just couldn't bear to see more of my meager money going down the drain (spent over $800 on this whole business, counting GRE and all). I've already given notice at my job, so if every place rejects me, that means I'm moving back to America in four months with nothing waiting for me.

[FacelessMage]

I pretty sure I messed up the only interview I've gotten so far and it's left me feeling pretty horrible, considering it's been dead silence on my other applications. 

[Regenerative Christine]

It's a super unsettling and agonizing feeling- despite finishing my master's in June and being in a steady job right now that I love, i feel as though i have absolutely no stability. Everything right now just feels like a big question mark and I feel as though the days could not be any longer. 

 

I literally went so far as to trying to map out different scenarios for my life if I did/didn't get accepted to a PhD program. Wahhhhhh!

[bgt28]

I'm getting horribly depressed by the hour, and I feel my vitality seeping out of me. 

[1Q84]

I'm getting horribly depressed by the hour, and I feel my vitality seeping out of me. 

 

Same. But either way, let's enjoy a Sunday's repose and be conscious to leave behind our anxiety for a day. To that end, I'm just now about to step out to watch a screening of this year's Oscar nominated live action shorts in theatre as a welcome distraction. Hope you can do the same!

[BeatrizBear]

It seems the northeast is having weather issues. Some schools in the Boston area will be closed on Monday. =/

Edited February 9, 2015 by BeatrizBear

[dragonage]

Hi all, 

 

I haven't heard anything at all from the PhD programs I applied to, the app systems all say under review or being reviewed. I really need some advice.

 

1. If I wasn't invited to interview for a program, am I automatically rejected? If this is the case, then why don't they send my rejection now?

 

2. At what date would you recommend I "move on" if I have still not heard anything? They all say on their websites that decisions will be made by April 15th, but come on, real acceptances happen much earlier than that, right?

 

3. What is your opinion on contacting the department and/or the POI about the status of my application? At what point should I go ahead and do this (if you think it is a good idea)?

 

Thank you!

[grad_wannabe]

It seems the northeast is having weather issues. Some schools in the Boston area will be closed on Monday. =/

 

Boston schools were indeed closed both Monday and Tuesday. 

[FinallyAccepted]

Hi all, 

 

I haven't heard anything at all from the PhD programs I applied to, the app systems all say under review or being reviewed. I really need some advice.

 

1. If I wasn't invited to interview for a program, am I automatically rejected? If this is the case, then why don't they send my rejection now?

 

2. At what date would you recommend I "move on" if I have still not heard anything? They all say on their websites that decisions will be made by April 15th, but come on, real acceptances happen much earlier than that, right?

 

3. What is your opinion on contacting the department and/or the POI about the status of my application? At what point should I go ahead and do this (if you think it is a good idea)?

 

Thank you!

1. Not necessarily. It depends on whether your program does interviews. I also just got waitlisted at a school that does interviews, but did not interview me.

2. It depends on your program. Technically, it's not over until it's over, but if you see acceptances for your program on the Results page, it might be wise to temper false hope.

3. I would leave the POI alone, but up to you about e-mailing a grad coordinator about where they are in the process. Some are more forthcoming than others.

[Cpoco]

I am totally fine with all this emotional shit. It's just that my parents are virtually killing me by flogging me with world-crumbling fantasies and anxiety-provoking admonishments.

[BeatrizBear]

I got my first rejection. Now I'm sad.