Jump to content

Feeling horrible


SirLuke

Recommended Posts

I'm with ya there. When I applied I felt great about my SOP, now I feel like it's not complete & just a mess. Between a breakup and the application process I'm running fully on coffee, not sleep. I even had a dream the other night my ex was on an admission board & denied me from my dream school. I can't wait for official decisions to finally happen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel you. I have a horrible feeling about most of my applications at this point. I only really have hope left for one school as they haven't sent out any invites and as time goes on I feel increasingly like I'm going to get shut out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sucks, and it could happen to me again this year, but getting shut out is not the end of the world. I'm still standing. You decide if it's worth it to apply again. If its not worth it, then it may not be as important to you as you had originally thought. I met quite a few people last year who were in the 2nd and 3rd times of applying.

You did what you could this season, and now you have to see where it got you. If you need to do more next season, you will. Its like a breakup, it's raw initially, but you'll get over it and come away with a new understanding thats affects your next relationship.

I'm a "glass is half empty" kind of person, so if I'M saying stay positive, then you can do it too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I catch myself berating myself for even applying because "obviously, you are not qualified or intelligent enough to get a PhD"...fearing that my professors and mentors and other advisors have just been saying nice things to avoid hurting me. I realize that is completely irrational, and that my professors would have steered me away from applying to top programs in my field if my anxious self-deprecating thoughts were true, but it is so difficult to anchor one's self in reality when obsessing over applications and chances and the future easily take over (especially during a break).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If it didn't feel as horrible as it does, then it wouldn't feel as rewarding in the end!  That being said, I'm dying inside. NO SLEEP! CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT GRAD APPS! I'm going cray cray!!! 

 

I think people are sick of hearing me talk about it at this point. I'm a little embarrassed. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think people are sick of hearing me talk about it at this point. I'm a little embarrassed.

Same. I could actually see a close friend getting bored with me the other day. They just be anticipating me hearing back as much as I am.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deadline for my top school was yesterday. It's weird: I submitted the application about a month in advance, and all the pieces seemed to fall right into place. LORs, SOP, GRE, transcripts, writing sample---I felt good about it all because I spent nearly a year putting it all together. And everything was sent and received smoothly, too. No complications whatsoever. Supreme confidence. Ecstasy. 

 

Now here I am, one day out, and all that confidence just vanished. Overnight. At the beginning, it felt as though I was floating on Cloud 9... now I feel as if I'm floating on a wing and a prayer.

 

I keep thinking: "Gee, that all seemed to go by just a little too easily... something's terribly wrong here." 

 

I'm so f'cked.

 

Man oh man. 

 

:unsure:

Edited by Rodomonte
Link to comment
Share on other sites

At this point I just want to know.  If I'm rejected from the programs I applied to, fine.  It will suck, but s*it happens.   Just let me know so I can start planning my next step.  I HATE limbo.  To say I get irritable while playing "hurry up and wait" is an understatement of epic proportions.  

 

Crap x 1,000.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At this point I just want to know. If I'm rejected from the programs I applied to, fine. It will suck, but s*it happens. Just let me know so I can start planning my next step. I HATE limbo. To say I get irritable while playing "hurry up and wait" is an understatement of epic proportions.

Crap x 1,000.

This x174727181900000

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At this point I just want to know.  If I'm rejected from the programs I applied to, fine.  It will suck, but s*it happens.   Just let me know so I can start planning my next step.  I HATE limbo.  To say I get irritable while playing "hurry up and wait" is an understatement of epic proportions.  

 

Crap x 1,000.

 

Agreed. Some programs in my field don't send official rejections until April, though by then it's obvious. Why can't they just say no?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh gosh, I'm with you. Especially because I just read that AskReddit thread about why college admissions counselors have denied people in the past... I'm paranoid that I've made all of these silly mistakes, but I'm too nervous to actually go check and see if I did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh gosh, I'm with you. Especially because I just read that AskReddit thread about why college admissions counselors have denied people in the past... I'm paranoid that I've made all of these silly mistakes, but I'm too nervous to actually go check and see if I did.

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose heart filled with dread upon reading that post!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh gosh, I'm with you. Especially because I just read that AskReddit thread about why college admissions counselors have denied people in the past... I'm paranoid that I've made all of these silly mistakes, but I'm too nervous to actually go check and see if I did.

Well you should NOT go back and look. Never look back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I feel the same.

Problem is I don't have a plan B in case I don't get into any studies. I'm a foreigner where I am now, and the perspective doesn't look any good. So yeah, if it doesn't workout I am not sure what to do next  :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I catch myself berating myself for even applying because "obviously, you are not qualified or intelligent enough to get a PhD"...fearing that my professors and mentors and other advisors have just been saying nice things to avoid hurting me. I realize that is completely irrational, and that my professors would have steered me away from applying to top programs in my field if my anxious self-deprecating thoughts were true, but it is so difficult to anchor one's self in reality when obsessing over applications and chances and the future easily take over (especially during a break).

 

Yes, I think this is very important to keep in mind. Your mentors and advisors are there to help you make the best decisions. This is what has helped me through some rough nights.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am convinced that I wrote horrid SOPs, and that my lack of publishing is going to bite me.  Sigh.  Once I was a happy, carefree person, full of joie de vivre . . . and then came the day when I decided to apply for my PhD.

 

 

I feel like I did not articulate my research interests enough in my SOP. Or even when I contacted my POI's. Now I feel like I will be rejected everywhere lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does anyone have a feeling that certain parts of their application are not good enough, and fear that the entire application doesn't make it through some sort of filter(even though you have stellar LoRs, GPA etc)? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Having a forum like this is good because I can see that I am not alone, but as the poster above me alluded to, the results page can be kind of depressing. I am feeling horrible because my GRE scores are really awful and I feel like some schools will not even bother to look at the rest of the application. But at this point, there is nothing much that any of us can do, but wait and hope. I am trying to stay positive. I am sure most of you have something about your applications that you can be proud of, at least, right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm there with you all, too. I applied to 7 women's studies programs and did not in my wildest dreams imagine that I would be rejected across the board, but that seems to be a distinct possibility now. It's just so frustrating, because I spent months on my SOP and writing sample (which had already won a departmental prize from the women's studies program at my school), did really well on the GRE, and got lots of reassurance that I would get in from both of the women's studies professors who wrote me recommendation letters. One said, "Oh GRE scores like yours will get you in. Don't worry. You're in! Maybe you'll get into all 7!" And then other also made a point of saying I would do very well.  And it's not like my professors who were so confident don't know how selective these programs are, either. They are part of a women's studies M.A. program that regularly sends students to a lot of the PhD programs that are rejecting me. And now that I'm 0 for 4, with three more that I starting to look unlikely, I'm just sort of like, uh... I guess I grossly over-estimated my abilities at some point in this process?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm the kind of person who always feels like there's something I have to worry about, and I'll ultimately find something, no matter how silly it is. This was definitely the case when it came to my applications.

I think that for just about anyone applying to grad school, there will always be something that serves as fuel for anxiety. For me, explaining to myself over and over why I shouldn't worry doesn't really work. What does work is when I have the courage to say, "I'm not going to think about that," and just put my mind on something else. I might even say, "I'll think about that tomorrow," or next week, etc.

Learning to disregard anxiety is, at least for me, the best way to prevent anxiety.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use