Socially awkward - how to mingle?

[MidwesternAloha]

Okay, I'm naive when it comes to grad admissions. I have my second and final interview this weekend. I'm excellent at formal interviews, but our first event is on the evening of arrival is a social mixer with faculty and students. What do you do? Am I supposed to know the faculty based off website pictures and go up and act like I know them??

[Hopefulgrad87]

I, too, would like to know. I am also very socially awkward, including formal interviews. I also have a mixer after the interviews, as well as an informal dinner with my POI and the lab the night before. I've been reading other lab members' interests and papers they first-authored in case I don't know what to talk about. But what about other faculty? Like you said, are we just supposed to act like we know them?  I also don't want to come off as only work-minded! (Not trying to hijack thread btw. Just saying excellent question!)

[iphi]

This is a time to not necessarily focus on work! Relax and talk about yourself. Tell them where you're coming from, and what the place you're at is like. Ask about the community, the city, the university.... don't just talk about work. That's the #1 mistake I see with prospectives at these things. We want to gauge if you'll be fun to hang out with and talk to. Sometimes that is as important as your research background!

[gliaful]

I'm not sure if your mixer is like the first-night events that I've been to, but I'll try to describe what mine were like to give you an idea of what to expect.

 

Provided that everyone will be flying in from different places across the country and some recruits have been in the air for upwards of 5 hours, the first night is usually very casual. People will be tired and the night will probably end between 8-10pm. I've been to 3 interviews so far, and at each of those we had a dinner the first night (although no faculty at any of mine). I just sat somewhere and got in on conversations that were already happening -- so you'll get the feel for level of casual conversation based on what you're hearing. Basically we just talked about where we were coming from, how we learned about the school/area, a little bit of work stuff (not as much as you might anticipate). There was a lot of talk about the next day's interviews -- you can ask grad students what the interviews are like or about the people you're meeting.

 

What I noticed in all of my interviews was that not much was expected of me in terms of knowing about the people/program/etc. The "overview" info given the morning of interviews was always stuff I had already read on the website, and people never stopped asking if I had questions. So I highly doubt you'll be expected to recognize profs (some have 20-year outdated website photos anyway). "Hi, I'm (yourname)" should get you by for introductions -- and you'll quickly know if you're talking to a prof.

 

If you feel awkward, there's no harm in staying kind of quiet that first night and claiming exhaustion from your flight. However, I'd suggest talking with the other recruits -- they're just as unsure as you, and although I'm normally pretty quiet, I really enjoyed socializing with the other recruits.

[poweredbycoldfusion]

Came across this advice forever ago, but it really changed the way I interact in public. The 'Hold your space' line of thinking rang so true for me. I stopped pretending to try and be an extrovert...and became more social as a result? I felt like I could be myself while not being intimidated into prattle and small talk. There are lots of other introverts in science, so talking all the time isn't necessary.

Edited February 18, 2015 by poweredbycoldfusion

[TakeruK]

A lot of times, faculty have nametags that identify themselves as such. But I agree with everyone that if you introduce yourself, they will introduce themselves too. And if it's still not clear, asking a question like "What do you work on?" will work. And don't feel bad if you don't recognize a faculty member. During one prospective student visit, I thought one professor was another prospective student. Oops! We had a good laugh about it and everything was fine.