Might fail master's, should I drop out?

[polome]

Quick background:

 

Undergrad: High distinction in history, graduated top of class from a mid-tier UK university

 

Master's:

 

Tuition fee funded master's at a top UK university. My course was completely not what I expected (the papers I wanted to sit were discontinued the year I joined), I had a very difficult time, developed depression and had other symptoms. I couldn't sit my final exams, left for two terms and now I am back for my exams. In the period I was away was diagnosed with MS and I have depression on and off, which has worsened since I have come back because I need to deal with everything alone and I am so exhausted. And my GP isn't helpful. I want to go home because I am finding it very hard to deal with things on my own. 

 

I don't see the value in this degree because I want to work in a completely different sector when I am done (I have a year-long research internship ahead of me that I can do from home) and I just want to get home, meet my specialist and learn to deal with my condition better. I live in another country and have access to private healthcare and can go back to my specialist. Also, I wish to apply to the US for further studies in a different subject (related to my research internship).

 

Should I leave? I am massively underprepared, feel ill all the time and fatigued, and my depression and MS symptoms keep getting worse.

Edited May 26, 2015 by polome

[MidwesternAloha]

Do what is best for you.

[polome]

Do what is best for you.

 

See I don't know, I am so scared to leave because I don't want to feel like a 'failure', on the other hand, this degree is worthless to me (content wise) and I feel like I want to go home and rest and just get on with life.

[Karoku_valentine]

Quick background:

 

Undergrad: High distinction in history, graduated top of class from a mid-tier UK university

 

Master's:

 

Tuition fee funded master's at a top UK university. My course was completely not what I expected (the papers I wanted to sit were discontinued the year I joined), I had a very difficult time, developed depression and had other symptoms. I couldn't sit my final exams, left for two terms and now I am back for my exams. In the period I was away was diagnosed with MS and I have depression on and off, which has worsened since I have come back because I need to deal with everything alone and I am so exhausted. And my GP isn't helpful. I want to go home because I am finding it very hard to deal with things on my own. 

 

I don't see the value in this degree because I want to work in a completely different sector when I am done (I have a year-long research internship ahead of me that I can do from home) and I just want to get home, meet my specialist and learn to deal with my condition better. I live in another country and have access to private healthcare and can go back to my specialist. Also, I wish to apply to the US for further studies in a different subject (related to my research internship).

 

Should I leave? I am massively underprepared, feel ill all the time and fatigued, and my depression and MS symptoms keep getting worse.

How long is the program? Is it three quarters? I think many programs are one year long, so the duration is not that burdensome.

 

I would highly recommend against leaving without doing the exams. That is going to be a permanent stain in your record, specially if you want to apply for graduate studies in the USA. At least, by finishing a quarter or two you can blame on your depression for not finishing, A Master in a similar field might help you prepare for further studies in the USA.

 

Instead of thinking about your depression and how difficult is everything, I think you should just do a study plan, try to make the most out of the classes you take, and orient them to your desired field. Just set a goal and work on it.

[polome]

How long is the program? Is it three quarters? I think many programs are one year long, so the duration is not that burdensome.

 

I would highly recommend against leaving without doing the exams. That is going to be a permanent stain in your record, specially if you want to apply for graduate studies in the USA. At least, by finishing a quarter or two you can blame on your depression for not finishing, A Master in a similar field might help you prepare for further studies in the USA.

 

Instead of thinking about your depression and how difficult is everything, I think you should just do a study plan, try to make the most out of the classes you take, and orient them to your desired field. Just set a goal and work on it.

Well I attended two terms in my first year and I'm back this year for the final term. I can't choose courses because that's all done, this term I'm writing essays for tutorials and have exams in four weeks (degree is entirely assessed via exams). I have multiple sclerosis and depression and no support from my GP so things are difficult. It's not easy to just make a study plan and follow it up; my energy levels reduced drastically and I'm in a lot of joint and muscle pain.

[bsharpe269]

It sounds like you want to leave very badly and are having a hard time to giving yourself permission to do so. It's ok to leave... You're not a failure. I just finished my masters and someone in my program has MS. She had a rough time but did really well anyway. She has learned how to deal with it and takes Ritalin to help with being so tired.

If you're miserable then it's fine to go home and learn how to handle your illness. You did well in undergrad. If you address learning to deal with your illness in you SOP then i'm sure future programs will understand. Decide what is best for you and your happiness and do whatever that is.

[polome]

It sounds like you want to leave very badly and are having a hard time to giving yourself permission to do so. It's ok to leave... You're not a failure. I just finished my masters and someone in my program has MS. She had a rough time but did really well anyway. She has learned how to deal with it and takes Ritalin to help with being so tired.

If you're miserable then it's fine to go home and learn how to handle your illness. You did well in undergrad. If you address learning to deal with your illness in you SOP then i'm sure future programs will understand. Decide what is best for you and your happiness and do whatever that is.

Thank you very much. How do I explain this on my CV (for the next year or so). I was awarded a scholarship for this master's - is this something I should mention with a line saying (Unable to complete degree as a result of illness?)

[_kita]

Thank you very much. How do I explain this on my CV (for the next year or so). I was awarded a scholarship for this master's - is this something I should mention with a line saying (Unable to complete degree as a result of illness?)

 

You have a few options. The least confusing are:

 

!) Attended (20xx-20xx) and list relevant course work. Do not try to explain it on your CV.  Nor do you add in the credentials you would have had.

2) Avoid listing it at all. You're not legally required to show all of the information you've ever done. But then, that might show a hole in your professional life.

[bsharpe269]

You have a few options. The least confusing are:

!) Attended (20xx-20xx) and list relevant course work. Do not try to explain it on your CV. Nor do you add in the credentials you would have had.

2) Avoid listing it at all. You're not legally required to show all of the information you've ever done. But then, that might show a hole in your professional life.

Another idea would be to put that you were a research assistant or teaching assistant if you were either instead of putting. Otherwise, I agree that you could just show that I took the courses without explaining.

[polome]

You have a few options. The least confusing are:

 

!) Attended (20xx-20xx) and list relevant course work. Do not try to explain it on your CV.  Nor do you add in the credentials you would have had.

2) Avoid listing it at all. You're not legally required to show all of the information you've ever done. But then, that might show a hole in your professional life.

 

 

Another idea would be to put that you were a research assistant or teaching assistant if you were either instead of putting. Otherwise, I agree that you could just show that I took the courses without explaining.

 

Thanks, so I can I put it like this?

 

University of XYZ 

Course 1, Course 2, Course 3, etc.

 

It's a super prestigious university. I don't want to name it on here, but it's the Ivy League of the UK, so I am really upset this hasn't worked out, but I think it's for the best at this point.

[fuzzylogician]

Thanks, so I can I put it like this?

 

University of XYZ 

Course 1, Course 2, Course 3, etc.

 

It's a super prestigious university. I don't want to name it on here, but it's the Ivy League of the UK, so I am really upset this hasn't worked out, but I think it's for the best at this point.

 

Unless the actual courses are relevant for anything (they're most likely not) I would just say 

 

University of X

Masters courses in Y

[bhr]

I would even drop the Masters part, and just say graduate coursework. No need to imply that you were a degree seeking student if you didn't get the degree. The truth is that you have no obligation to list any information that hurts you, but if you mention, say, a scholarship, it will lead to questions.

 

Also, ignore the poster who basically told you to suck it up. You are dealing with a couple of serious illnesses, and deserve credit for getting as far as you have

[Karoku_valentine]

Well I attended two terms in my first year and I'm back this year for the final term. I can't choose courses because that's all done, this term I'm writing essays for tutorials and have exams in four weeks (degree is entirely assessed via exams). I have multiple sclerosis and depression and no support from my GP so things are difficult. It's not easy to just make a study plan and follow it up; my energy levels reduced drastically and I'm in a lot of joint and muscle pain.

 

Sorry, I did not know you had multiple sclerosis (as the post just said MS, which is a term I am not familiar with), I just assumed you only had depression. It is 4 weeks, so you are basically done. Talk to your professors and explain the situation, they will be understanding and will probably be lenient regarding the grading, attendance and times. You have already worked so hard for three terms, so doing your best in the exams will be enough.

[St Andrews Lynx]

There's also the option of taking a medical leave of absence, which would allow you to return to the program and finish it off at a later date. It also gives you some leeway: if you decide in a few months that you really want to go back and finish the Masters...then you have the freedom to do so. But likewise, if you decide that you don't need this degree, then you have the same amount of freedom to withdraw completely. 

 

At the end of the day: (i) You are not your illness (ii) There is so much more to "success" than the lines on your CV. I hope things work out for you.

[polome]

Sorry, I did not know you had multiple sclerosis (as the post just said MS, which is a term I am not familiar with), I just assumed you only had depression. It is 4 weeks, so you are basically done. Talk to your professors and explain the situation, they will be understanding and will probably be lenient regarding the grading, attendance and times. You have already worked so hard for three terms, so doing your best in the exams will be enough.

Thanks, although I think people don't realise clinical depression can be equally hard to deal with. Your brain just shuts down and I am a very academic person and I have been struggling so much lately.

[katiegud]

I started a doctoral program straight out of undergrad, hated it, finished a year and dropped out. At first I had to explain it to people, but now that it's been a long time, and I've had jobs and obtained other degrees, no one cares. I don't even put it on my CV. If it comes up to haunt you later just explain what happened and say that the program was not what you were hoping for and you wanted to go in another direction with your career. They won't hold it against you.