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Terrified, overwhelmed, major imposter syndrome


dancedementia

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Long story short: I'm a career changer. I worked in something not even remotely related. I originally started college as a psych major, but switched in my sophomore year to something that would "make more money". I don't want to give identifying information because my experience is kind of unique, but imagine a computer programmer trying to get into a PhD psychology program. That's about how drastic this career change is.

My undergrad profile is dismal. My GPA was a 3.0. I was involved in a lot of unrelated student organizations (lots of leadership experiences!) which was super fun... but also destroyed my work ethic. My GRE is really good (96% percentile for both, perfect writing score). Strong LORs, but they speak mostly to my work ethic/character instead of my psychology strengths because... well, I don't have a psych background.

I'm currently in a respected master's program for counseling. It's a terminal masters program, and being a total newbie, I didn't know that I probably should have done an experimental psych program instead, but I'm not going to quit halfway through when I've already sunk so many student loans into it and only have a year left. My master's GPA is a 4.0 thus far and should stay above 3.8. I had no research experience in undergrad but am working in two labs right now (one is a social psych lab, the other is a counseling psych lab).

I want to get a PhD in Counseling Psychology.

I've done everything that the books and Internet have told me to do - research experience, networking with professors, finding a mentor, boosting GPA, getting a good GRE. But I'm still terrified that, come interview time, people are going to look at my application and wonder "why the hell doesn't this woman have any direction in her life?"

Can anyone offer some tips on how I can strengthen my application so it sounds like i'm serious about what I want to do?

EDIT: My intended research focus is emotion regulation in personality disorders. Particularly BPD but I'm open to faculty who are conducting related research (histrionic, etc. is fine by me)..... or should I be more specific?!

Edited by dancedementia
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Hi, as a side note, a computer programmer is perfectly suitable for psychology, especially in the fields of cognitive neuroscience. Computational neuroscience is a big trend in the field these days!

Now, back to your situation, don't be discouraged! Breathe, and relax! Read what you just wrote in your little blurb. You have done EVERYTHING that anyone in this forum will tell you to do - find experience, do research, get strong LORs, score well on the GRE, and have a strong academic background to boost your chances. Doing a terminal Masters more or less negates your undergraduate GPA (regardless of the program), because 1) it is STRONG and 2) it is relevant to what you want to do. 

You may not have had "a direction" during your undergrad, but don't let your past strangle your future, especially one that is bright! If you were able to get into a respectable Masters in counselling already, what is holding you back from getting into a PhD program in counselling soon? It'll only be a matter of time :)

Right now what you can do is continue going the strong course you are showing in your Masters, graduate, and apply to those programs you have. As a future counsellor-in-training, you will be hearing and giving the same advice to a lot of other people. Most of the times we are our biggest critics, and we just need to tell ourselves that we are doing everything we can possibly do to get to where we hope to be. Hard work always prospers!

You can do it! Good luck!

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Try to get LORs from the labs you're doing research in. Those people will be able to attest to more than just your work ethic because they'll be able to say things about your ability to conduct psychological research, which is something you want in your application file. 

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Thanks for the advice! I guess I'm just terrified because I read so much on here and SDN about people who have multiple pubs and presentations who are STILL rejected from PhD Psychology programs. It seems so hard to stand out, especially when I've gotten a late start :(

On that note: publications - are they absolutely ESSENTIAL to getting into a PhD program? I haven't yet met someone (accepted) who didn't have one.

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Believe me, larger disparities than computer programmer-to-psychologist exist.  I'm a career-changer, too.  My own history was far, far from psychology - at first glance.  But upon reflecting on why I wanted to get a research degree in psychology, I realized that the things that drew me to that first career were actually very similar to the things that draw me to psychology.  I was able to express that common underlying theme in my statements of purpose - and underscore the strengths that made me successful in that career because those same strengths will make me successful in any career.  (Sounds like you have some amazing organizing and leadership skills and those are very valuable in any career.) 

Your recent history is much more important than your distant past.  If you've been excelling in your master's program, then you have a great shot at getting into a PhD program.  (And I think going through a master's program is a pretty good indicator of your commitment to psychology.)  I haven't read one thing about your situation that you should be concerned about.  If you can get great LORs from current professors/researchers in your master's program, and write a clear, focused statement of purpose that highlights your strengths and how those strengths make you an excellent candidate for a PhD program, then I think your chances are as good as anyone's.

Imposter syndrome is common.  The trick is to not believe everything you think.  ;)

 

 

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Thanks for the advice! I guess I'm just terrified because I read so much on here and SDN about people who have multiple pubs and presentations who are STILL rejected from PhD Psychology programs. It seems so hard to stand out, especially when I've gotten a late start :(

On that note: publications - are they absolutely ESSENTIAL to getting into a PhD program? I haven't yet met someone (accepted) who didn't have one.

I guess I'll be the person you can say you know who was accepted into a program without a publication under his/her belt. I'm beginning my Masters in a couple of days, and currently have 3 publications in prep or close to be in press. More than anything, the fit is very important. This fit isn't really quantifiable (although sometimes pubs do sway you closer to the fit), and it can be how mutual the feeling is between you and a PI. I was fortunate enough to have been able to receive strong LORs and expressed myself clearly throughout my application process, and was able to get accepted into one of my top programs of choice. 

So don't fret!

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Why do you think you should've done an MA in experimental psychology if your goal is a PhD in counseling psychology? An MA in counseling sounds like ideal preparation for a PhD in counseling. You're still getting research experience and presumably still taking some psychology classes, so you'll be fine. (An MA in experimental would've been fine, too - really, you are just fine.)

 

I see that you have plenty of direction. You majored in something in college and worked in it a few years. Then you changed your mind, as people are wont to do. So you entered a counseling MA program, are acquiring research experience in the field, and are now applying to counseling PhD programs. That seems perfectly logical.

 

And oh, stop reading SDN. That place is super depressing.

 

And no, publications are not essential. Most people do not have them before a PhD program. My PhD is in social psychology (and public health), and I did not have a publication before I was admitted.

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Why do you think you should've done an MA in experimental psychology if your goal is a PhD in counseling psychology?

I've always been told that if one is interested in a PhD, one should do a research-based masters instead of a clinically-based one. Maybe I've been looking at advice that was more aimed towards research-based PhDs like Social or Developmental? :(

Otherwise, thanks very much to everyone who responded. It really is quite reassuring. My only concern is that I'm also in the midst of a two-body problem, so location is going to be very restrictive. Thankfully the Significant Other is bound to a state with a lot of options (Texas), so fingers crossed that I can get in somewhere nearby. (And luckily, UTexas has a faculty member I am very interested in working with...)

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