switching out of PhD after huge mistake

[oroanthro]

Hi all,

I have a dilemma rolling around in my head and need some help sorting it out. I went to top tier schools for my BA and MA and decided on a little known program for my PhD. Neither my BA nor my MA were in my current field (anthropology), but someone here (my current PI whom I am a GA for) recruited me to work on his fantastic-sounding interdisciplinary NSF-funded project. He promised me the ability to participate in the research (i.e. conduct interviews myself), hire and direct my own undergrad assistants, have opportunities to publish with him and the postdocs on the project, and funding, through his grant, to present at conferences and travel for research. 

Two years later. None of what he put in his offer letter has happened. I am handed months' worth of busywork that my PI doesn't look at and he used funding earmarked for me on himself. I have had to apply for outside grants for conference and research travel--even when working on his project! He hired undergrads and treats me like them--even putting them in charge of projects instead of me. He raises his voice at me frequently and rants at me or sends me long, all caps, bright red emails for the smallest thing. He makes absurd demands about the direction of my dissertation research even though he is not on my committee--even demanding that I allow him to write a comp question. This GAship is a nightmare, to put it mildly.

What's more, now that I have been in anthropology for two years, I realize just how bad my program is--and it's getting worse. The few well-known people in my subfield have retired or gotten offers elsewhere and are slowly being replaced with people from another subfield. My coursework has been pretty much all required intro courses and I don't feel that I have a good grip on the literature in my area of interest. Since it's a four year program, I feel that I am being rushed to finish without having the chance to develop myself as an anthropologist. I don't have a cohort with whom I can share ideas--I was the only person accepted my year. I love my committee--they are warm and supportive--but two of them have indicated that they are sorry I am here. 

 I don't need you all to tell me that I was stupid and naive to believe my boss--GAships like what he had described don't exist, at least in anthropology. I didn't know that at the time. I also know that I was stupid to leave the Ivy League for a program with barely any ranking. I didn't quite understand the ranking of anthropology programs when I accepted the offer. I understand that I deserve what has happened to me.  My question is, what next? 

The way I see it, my options are to write an MA thesis this summer instead of preparing for comps and get the heck out (maybe apply for another PhD program down the road?), apply for other programs without an MA in Anthropology this fall, or just suck it up and finish the second half of my degree at this fourth-rate program at an otherwise good university. Maybe I can transfer to a better program with researchers working on the same grant project I am on? I've made some good connections in other departments. What do you all think? Has anyone tried to switch PhD programs? Is there another option I can't see because I'm so deep in this hole?  

And let's be realistic, guys, nobody gets their PI fired, so don't suggest that.  

[GradSchoolTruther]

Why can't you switch your GA assignment? 

Edited April 4, 2016 by GradSchoolTruther

[oroanthro]

That's a good question. 

1.There is not really a GA or TA assignment for me to switch to--I already checked. The department is very small, and what is more, is shifting away from my subfield. The classes that need TAs are outside my area of knowledge. None of the professors will let me TA their classes when there are more qualified students in their subfields (and whose committees they happen to be on) who want to TA and need the funding.  I tried to be a GA at a nearby museum, but the assistant curator explained to me that seniority, ranking and fit means one other student is ahead of me in line for that position. I already know that said student wants the position very badly. 

2. The GAship is the entire reason I came here. I feel that the NSF grant I got to do the GA and complete my degree here is the most attractive thing about my CV. If I get rid of it, I'll be an unfunded student at a fourth-tier program. I'll have to take out loans to finish the degree and I will have to turn the research I did for my boss over to his next GA.

 

Edited April 4, 2016 by orangeanthropologist
concise

[fuzzylogician]

Yeah, I really don't think anyone here is going to suggest that you try to get your PI fired, that is extremely likely to backfire, or at least not to work. Transferring into another PhD program is not an easy thing to do, it's not like undergrad. You can try to discreetly ask about that, but keep in mind that it's late in the season and it's unlikely that schools will have extra money laying around to bring in a transfer student, even if this were something that they would in general consider. You should also keep in mind that even if you can transfer, there is a good chance that most of what you've already done in your current program won't count toward your new degree, so in a sense you'll be either completely starting over, or close to it. 

The easiest thing for you to do is to leave the school you are currently at with an MA, so at least on paper you got something out of that degree. You want to do it in a way that doesn't burn any bridges, because you'll need at least one LOR from a professor at this school. Not having such a letter would raise red flags with any school you might try to apply to in the future. With this LOR and your MA, you can then apply to another PhD program. You can briefly explain your leaving your current program as the result of a shift in your interests combined with changes to the makeup of the faculty that made your old school no longer a good match for your research. If you can show that and have the support of your old program, you shouldn't have a problem applying to new schools (though of course we can't judge how strong your application will be, not knowing anything about you or your research). 

[dr. t]

Do you have an old adviser at your UG/MA institution you can talk to?

[oroanthro]

I was worried they would view all this as a failure on my part...or maybe think I was trying to blame them. After all, I applied with the full knowledge that they didn't know anything about anthropology programs and took the time to convince them that I would be working on a really, really cool project. I convinced them this was a good idea...I feel like I wasted their time. What's more, I don't know what they would be able to do in this situation? Write me a letter based on work they haven't seen in two years?

Edited April 9, 2016 by orangeanthropologist

[knp]

I just got into half the PhD programs I applied to with letters from professors who haven't seen my work for three years, and that's actually low-to-average among people who took time off. Many of my incoming cohort worked for a decade before they applied to graduate schools! Your professors will understand. The project sounded cool! When you got there, it didn't turn out to be. Moreover, the department is changing in ways that will make it harder and harder for you to do your desired research there, which you could neither have predicted nor known. So now you need help finding somewhere that will in fact have a better research fit for you—and "better fit," when true, is the panacea of explanations for transferring between graduate programs.

[ExponentialDecay]

Oh man, OP. Given the profusion of red flags all over this thing, starting with the going to an unranked institution for your PhD, no matter how cool the project, and ending with, really, a first year graduate student new to the program hiring and directing her own fleet of RAs?, I'd bet money that most if not all of your professors have been expecting you to come back all along. I wonder if the reason you felt you had to convince them at all is that the concerns they brought up were thinly-veiled SOS signals. 

As a career enfant terrible, I get the shame you feel, I really do. But you can't let your shame dig you an early grave. I think you need to stop worrying about wasting people's times, embarrassing them, or otherwise making waves and addressing the rotten in the state of Denmark in favor of mobilizing and getting yourself out of this mess. It's useful to remember that nobody cares about your failures as much as you do, and that despite this, most people will understand and will try to help.