Who is the first person you'll tell?

[focused]

And lord knows I am sick to death of reading status updates about teething and potty training toddlers! It's time some *real* news got posted, ha ha.

Agreed!

[johndiligent]

I'm wondering about social network postings, actually - how many of you will post acceptances publicly on Facebook?

I knew a girl who thought it very uncouth to post results on F-book. She was modest and preferred to tell people only if they asked directly, plus she said she felt some animosity from people who didn't get into their schools. But then again, isn't this what social networks are for? Sharing news? There was an article in the NY Times about it, the writer thought it base to post college acceptances:

"Accepted, Rejected or Deferred? Keep the Answer Off Facebook."

I think it's totally okay to post at least where you decide to go, just maybe not a list like, "Look at all my acceptances!"

I don't think it's necessarily uncouth since you'll likely update your Facebook details in September to say where you're going to school/working/living anyway so it's not going to remain a secret for very long. Of course, there are other reasons you might not want to share it, like if you have fellow applicants on your Facebook who have just received a rejection or may well soon or you're cautious about sharing personal information on Facebook anyway.

If accepted, I'll probably post it on Facebook but I'm not even going to pretend to care about the etiquette of so doing. I just want people who have wished me ill academic will over the years to read it and weep. Or at least I'd like them to stew on it for fifteen minutes or so.

[johndiligent]

I'd add that the difference between the scenarios listed in the NY Times article and grad school applications is that with undergrad acceptances, chances are very, very high that you have peers who also applied to the same school and will get rejected. With grad school applications, it's much easier to keep track of who on your friends list is in the same field (if anyone), applied to the same programme (if anyone), in the same year (if anyone) and avoid hurting their feelings (if any).

[LifeIsGood]

1. Husband and kids

2. Parents

3. Friends

4. Recommenders

5. And anyone reading the back of the t-shirt I'm having made up the next day.

[jlee306]

My mom and fiance'. My dad passed away in November, so in a way, he will know first.

[psychdork]

Depends on the school. If it's my first choice, then the first person I will tell is one of my LOR writers, who received his PhD from the same school, and has been one of my strongest supporters. Though he is also on sabbatical this semester, so this will depend if I can get a hold of him in a reasonable amount of time. After that I will tell my family and friends. If it's not my first choice, then it will depend who's around me when I find out.

As soon as I get an acceptance I'm posting it on facebook, but I'm just going to make a generic announcement like "psychdork got accepted to a PhD program" or something. If anyone asks which school then depending on the person I might tell them privately.

[SNPCracklePop]

My wife, my ma, Facebook, Results Page, LORs, and THEN everyone at work, he he he.

[SNPCracklePop]

my teachers throughout elementary, middle, high school and college (at the end of the process, assuming i get any noteworthy acceptances - they helped get me to where i am and i want to let them know that)

aww that's a really nice idea.

[captiv8ed]

My hubby

My mentor

My kids

My mil

My LORs

All of you

My facebook world

Teachers who have been there. Especially my Comp 101 teacher, who has been awesome.

Anyone else who will listen.

If it is my first choice, I don't know if I will be able to wait to tell my hubby if he isn't nearby. But I will try.

I am jealous of all of you who are telling your mom. Mine couldn't care and wouldn't understand it.

[expressionista]

1- My mom

2- My sister

(between the two of them, the rest of my immediate family will find out)

3- My 3 BFFs from undergrad

4- My cousin/roommate

I may actually have to keep this kind of quiet if I find out before like April because I don't plan on telling my workplace that I'm leaving until about 1 month before I move away for school.

[piccgeek]

My fiance. Then my maid-of-honor...if I get into my program, my wedding is getting moved up a year and will be only 4 months after the news arrives (ah the joys of living on an academic schedule), so we will have some work to do. I keep telling myself if I don't get in, at least it means I'll actually have time to plan the wedding without going absolutely stark raving mad. Then, you know, parents, grandparents, results page, facebook, my students and teachers and anyone who happens to be in earshot and hears me shout to the world in glee.

Edited January 8, 2010 by piccgeek

[modernity]

And lord knows I am sick to death of reading status updates about teething and potty training toddlers! It's time some *real* news got posted, ha ha.

Yes!! Exactly. After a million updates about colors being picked for weddings, house buying, the food cravings of pregnancy, babies rolling over for the first time, etc. and continually "liking" and giving words of encouragement to these people, I will be damned if they're not going to be obliged to "like" my getting into grad school if I do so.

I also don't know anyone applying right now, but when I did I was happy to see that my friends got through the process successfully. This blog reeks of bitterness to me.

[mastermind1886]

1) Brother

2) Mom (who will tell everyone else in the family)

3) LOR writers

4) Mentors from high school and my job this past year

5) My Facebook fiancee/BFF

6) Results page

7) My entire social network

while waiting, it's nice to think about this kind of stuff... a day will come when we all KNOW if we're accepted or not! oyyyyyyy.

[rogue]

Yes!! Exactly. After a million updates about colors being picked for weddings, house buying, the food cravings of pregnancy, babies rolling over for the first time, etc. and continually "liking" and giving words of encouragement to these people, I will be damned if they're not going to be obliged to "like" my getting into grad school if I do so.

I also don't know anyone applying right now, but when I did I was happy to see that my friends got through the process successfully. This blog reeks of bitterness to me.

Agreed re: bitterness. And apparently I'm a jerk, because instead of clicking "like," I click "hide" when the baby statuses start piling up. I just never had that parental instinct. Which I guess is good, as when I am eventually trekking across the country in search of that elusive TT position, at least I won't have to worry about finding affordable housing in a good school district, right?

Also, whoever posted something about having a t-shirt made announcing their acceptance, I'm totally stealing your idea!

[LifeIsGood]

I have kids and I still can't stand those baby updates. TMI, as far as I'm concerned. I only ever want to see two baby-related updates: pregnant and born. The rest of it just isn't that interesting if you're not one of the two people involved.

I think schools should automatically send you a uni t-shirt and car decal when you accept their offer.

[captiv8ed]

Somebody actually told a "cute" story about her baby's excretory functions as her status update! Just not what I want to hear! Yes, I am sorry but I think my acceptance into grad school is a bit more important than baby poop!

[RedPotato]

Where ever I am at the moment, run around in circles jumping up and down screaming like a freak, but after that:

1. Mom/Dad and Grandmother

2. Text message to BFFs and BF

3. Facebook status

4. Forum, duh!

5. LoRs

Edited January 9, 2010 by RedPotato

[socialpsych]

Here is a different reason not to post things on facebook (or, at least, to be careful): you might not want people affiliated with some of your programs to know exactly how excited you are about news from other programs.

It matters to programs how likely applicants are to come if admitted. If you post something that indicates that you've already heard from your top choice program, for example, that could hurt your chances at other programs that haven't decided yet, which might conclude that you are not likely to come if they give you an offer.

My strategy was not to post anything specific until I'd decided where I was going (and formally accepted an offer), but some of you may not want to go that far. Unlike last year, I guess you can now modify the privacy settings on your individual status updates, so it might be a good idea to make updates with details about schools friends-only (or even restricted to a particular subset of friends, especially if you have friended current students at your programs whom you met while interviewing). Just be aware!

[rising_star]

Things were so much simpler when I applied to MA programs since Twitter didn't exist and Facebook was both small and didn't have status updates. FWIW, the first person I told about a MA program acceptance was my roommate, mostly because she had to convince me to open the letter. Next was the guy I was dating. Then, I think I posted it on my journal and called my mom and left her a message to call me.

For PhDs, I think the first person to know was either my boyfriend or whoever was in the office at the time. Probably the boyfriend. My mom usually got a phone call a day or two later.

*Note: Telling my mom was never really necessary because she honestly and earnestly believed I would get accepted everywhere I applied with funding. (No, she's not completely naive, she has a PhD of her own.)

[starfish]

If the news is bad:

1.) Husband

2.) My mom (probably)

3.) Facebook and twitter (I have my privacy settings on both restricted to my friends)

4.) Gradcafe results

5.) and, once all bad results have come in, my LOR writers

If the news is good:

1.) Husband

2.) Mom (definitely)

3.) Facebook and twitter

4.) My MA advisor first, then my other LOR writers

5.) My undergrad advisor

6.) Gradcafe results

7.) At this point, I will probably start using facebook to look up random acquaintances from high school and old jobs to tell.

[Timothy Vallier]

1. Wife

2. Sister

3. Mother

4. Grad Cafe

5. Others

[microman]

Let's see:

Good:

1.Mentor/Boss/Good friend

2.Coworkers

3.Mom

4.Dad

5.Facebook

Bad:

1.Mentor/Boss/Good friend

2.Coworkers

3.Mom

4.Dad

Edited January 13, 2010 by microman

[gildedProgressive]

I've decided to withhold telling anybody anything until I know all my results...or at least 75% of them.

1. Sister in law

2. Best friend who's in Hawaii

3. Brother

4. LOR writer (former prof./current supervisor)

5. Dad & stepmom

6. Two other LOR writers

7. Eventually Facebook..

Everybody else gets to know when they ask--I'm trying to play it close to the belt 'cause I was rejected last year.

[martizzle]

I will tell no one lol I want to see how long I can keep it secret

Good:

1. My professors/LOR writers

2. Friends from college

3. Girlfriend (I will try my best to keep this away from her for as long as possible....a day or two)

4. Mum(who will dutifully inform over 20 people in the next 5 mins, and suck me into a 3hr long prayer

---

I will not tell my gf immediately because I fear she will get all 'awwhhh....' if its any of my 4 'first-choices' lol, and will get all emotional n etc or perhaps, I'll just do the right thing: send her a txt saying i got in, and politely n lovingly ignore her calls for the next 2mins (after which, she should be out of the 'awwhhh....', 'omg', 'baby...' phase) and then call her when i'm sure she would have calmed down somewhat and i need not fear she would scream into the phone (and ruin my eardrums) when she is saying how confident she was, that i would get in...and stuff

Bad:

1. Girlfriend

2. Anyone who asks

Edited January 13, 2010 by martizzle

[carolina45]

Interesting thread.... Let's see:

Good:

Mom and Dad

3 best friends

girlfriend

LORs

Other friends

Bad:

3 best friends

girlfriend

Mom and Dad

Other friends

LORs