Graduate school and mental health

[antecedent]

I took this year off between my undergrad and my masters to work on the depression and anxiety that I've dealt with all my life, sometimes to a crippling extent in my undergrad. I've started working out five days a week, eating way healthier (and working out dietary issues with the help of a naturopath), and going to therapy. In some ways it's been amazing - I have a much better understanding of my body and it's limits, my mind and it's limits, and how to work myself through depressive episodes and anxiety attacks. I also (finally) started losing weight and actually feeling healthy - something that is totally new to me. I've had to work a miserable non-academic job that I hate in order to have the health insurance to cover this undertaking, but it's unquestionably been worth it.

I worry that I won't be able to keep this balance up while I'm doing my masters. I'm moving far away from my family and my therapist, and while I know I can do well and thrive in the program I've been accepted to, I still worry about depressive episodes and how I will handle them in grad school. I've never taken any medication for these issues, but I'm considering exploring alternative medicine to help me take the edge of the low lows, just enough so I can get back up again. I think I'll be able to build exercize in to my schedule no problem, but I just don't know what to expect of my mind. I imagine I will be skyping with my parents and my boyfriend a lot.

MonkeyPants (I have admired your user name before) are you also in a one year program (I see you got into the UC MAPH with funding - congratulations!)? My Masters will be 1 year (12 months) and I'm sure it will be crazy intense.

[MonkeyPants]

Antecedant: Yes! Will be diving into MAPH this year and i'm thrilled/terrified. I'm just worried that i'll get overworked- okay, i KNOW i'll get overworked, be honest- and lose the progress i've made. i'm very high-functioning but my post-traumatic stress likes to manifest itself in weird ways when i get overtired/stressed out. Exercise seems an excellent management method, it's just going to be a matter of making time for it.

Am immensely glad to be able to leave my soul-sucking corporate job to do this, and the full funding definitely takes the edge off.

[Sarahmarie]

*Everyone* should be in therapy? I won't deny that people with serious anxiety or depression should seek professional help, but *everyone*?

I don't think that every niggling bit of anxiety and unease is worth pathologizing by seeing a shrink. At least, that seems like the therapeutic approach, from what experience I've had with them..

This is an unfortunate opinion that keeps so many people from seeking help. Mental health counseling or "therapy" can be just as important to maintaining wellness as it is to fixing problems that already exist. It is enormously helpful to be able to talk and bounce ideas off a neutral person who can really put things into perspective for you. You can seek out therapy without being pathologized or diagnosed with something or prescribed drugs.

[Dal PhDer]

What a fantastic topic.

Personally, I feel it's something that is rarely addressed in the academic culture, or promoted to graduate students. I honestly believe that the process of graduate school can make anyone feel anxious, depressed, or blue. Constantly being criticized, evaluated, and having to always put yourself out there for these opinions can do a lot to your self-esteem and confidence. Not to mention the long hours of working, and not always having time to get the social and relaxing time in that you need for yourself to heal.

I am in my second year, and last year I went through a really difficult time and realized that there are really important things to manage my emotions and chemicals. I exercised regularly, ate healthy, and was sleeping enough- and still suffered from extreme depression. Sometimes medication and counselling is the only thing to help you get through it and into a better place where engaging in daily healthy behaviours will help. Take advantage of the free services offered on your campus. I went to a campus counsellor, and it was such a relief to talk to someone who knows about the process of graduate school and who can really help you understand and handle the stress and overwhelming feels associated with this life choice.

The key things I find that help me through this are:

1) Health eating and exercise- it really really does help. Aside from just going to the gym, setting on the bike and reading (which is just me time)...I take part in a co-ed recreational league. This is soooo great! I would recommend students doing this...it's both a social and physical activity that is so refreshing after a hard day. Also, eating healthy and getting good meals into you is important.

2) Having a good social circle and actually taking part in it. I Always have to check myself- it is soo easy to say "I am too busy", "Oh I have so much work"...but it is important to take time, and see your friends and family. That social interaction is just like 'therapy'. And it can put things into perspective for you.

3) Have YOU time. I am a very observational person, and tend to really think about what others think of me, conversations I had, etc. So I take time during the day for me so sit, and really think about how I am feeling. Thoughts are necessary feelings, they are moments...and really evaluating those moments as asking yourself if the critical thoughts you have about them are important. I often take this time to do something I enjoy, like read a book, go for a walk, or enjoy TV. I do this every day and it really helps me sort out my emotions and ideas.

Graduate school is a stressful and hard experience- that doesn't mean it's not a happy, rewarding and pleasurable time. But make sure you set up systems in your life that help you get through the hard times.

On a related note- I find the most difficult thing for me to do is keeping check of the hours I put in. This is when I find I get overwhelmed and burnt out. I tend to work during the days, evenings, and weekends. It's off and on, but I know I put in a lot more time than if I just decided to do a 9-5 M-F approach.

How do others structure your work? Do you set times and say you won't work during them? I am trying to find a healthy balance...but I often find that if I take the approach of taking an evening or weekend off, I don't enjoy myself, because I feel like I should be working or think about what I need to be doing. If I integrate work and down time into every day, I almost find I enjoy my down time more...but it's also never enough to kind of recharge me fully.

[rising_star]

How do others structure your work? Do you set times and say you won't work during them? I am trying to find a healthy balance...but I often find that if I take the approach of taking an evening or weekend off, I don't enjoy myself, because I feel like I should be working or think about what I need to be doing. If I integrate work and down time into every day, I almost find I enjoy my down time more...but it's also never enough to kind of recharge me fully.

Sort of. I know what times of day I work best and I try to do most of my work during those times. I also have set time for working out, relaxing, etc. Key example: I do very little work on Saturdays in the fall because I am watching college football. I may do some light reading or grading, or edit a paper or make an outline, but I don't do anything that requires real concentration and I don't feel guilty about it either. I take that day off because I deserve one day off a week, as does everyone else.

[gopher47]

I worry that I won't be able to keep this balance up while I'm doing my masters. I'm moving far away from my family and my therapist, and while I know I can do well and thrive in the program I've been accepted to, I still worry about depressive episodes and how I will handle them in grad school.

I'm worried about this myself. I had my own struggles with depression/anxiety throughout my undergrad, and caused me to withdraw from all of my courses one semester. I was younger then, and I've learned a lot since about my body and mind, and I'm now on a steady program of meds and the occasional therapy session. I'm super excited about my grad program, feel so full of purpose and determination, but I'm sure the stresses of graduate school will take its toll quickly. I'm honestly kind of terrified of having something happen.

The up side - most people that stuggle with mental health issues tend to be quite smart

For anyone interested, this is a facinating book about the link between mental illness and leadership: A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness, by Nassir Ghaemi.

http://www.amazon.co...p/dp/1594202958

Edited April 23, 2012 by gopher47

[mirandaw]

So, to revive a dormant topic...for those of you who're plowing through grad school while suffering from PTSD, any advice for someone going into an intense program this fall?

To specifically address your concern about PTSD: if you've done work around your PTSD already, keep that work in mind. identify your triggers and make plans for how you handle those things best (ie: if your tendency is to freak out and spiral into a pit of doom like mine is, work toward proactive positivity. I do this by making lists of what is REAL, rather than all the bad what-ifs)

[mirandaw]

How do others structure your work? Do you set times and say you won't work during them? I am trying to find a healthy balance...but I often find that if I take the approach of taking an evening or weekend off, I don't enjoy myself, because I feel like I should be working or think about what I need to be doing. If I integrate work and down time into every day, I almost find I enjoy my down time more...but it's also never enough to kind of recharge me fully.

I've had a few jobs that were incredibly busy and required me to work all the time. I had almost no social life. Since then, I've befriended a lot of people who work in social services and now understand the importance of self care time. My partner is doing her undergrad through distance ed and has a really good system of self care and scheduling. She's really dedicated about it. When I was in UG, I was nowhere near as dedicated and worked whenever I felt like it, which usually meant last minute deadlines. This time around, I'm definitely going to follow her example and schedule my time to be more productive so I don't crumple into a mess of anxiety or burn out.

[Dal PhDer]

Sort of. I know what times of day I work best and I try to do most of my work during those times. I also have set time for working out, relaxing, etc. Key example: I do very little work on Saturdays in the fall because I am watching college football. I may do some light reading or grading, or edit a paper or make an outline, but I don't do anything that requires real concentration and I don't feel guilty about it either. I take that day off because I deserve one day off a week, as does everyone else.

I've had a few jobs that were incredibly busy and required me to work all the time. I had almost no social life. Since then, I've befriended a lot of people who work in social services and now understand the importance of self care time. My partner is doing her undergrad through distance ed and has a really good system of self care and scheduling. She's really dedicated about it. When I was in UG, I was nowhere near as dedicated and worked whenever I felt like it, which usually meant last minute deadlines. This time around, I'm definitely going to follow her example and schedule my time to be more productive so I don't crumple into a mess of anxiety or burn out.

Thank you for the responses! It's nice to hear other peoples' strategies for working...I think we all boarder on the line of risking 'burn out'...but I do really think it's important to savor sometime just for you.

Friends are hugely important! None of my really close friends are in my situation- I almost think that's a lot better...I think if they were also in grad school, that's all we would ever talk about, and I would never escape this environment!