Backing out of an accepted offer

[Bird of Passage]

Hi guys, 

Is it very bad if you decline already accepted offer (where you paid a deposit and signed) after the deadline ? The thing is that I will hear from an external scholarship in July which will allow me to study at my first choice school, that means that I will have to decline my second choice school. If I go for only first choice school now there is a chance I won't receive the scholarship from external source (which makes it impossible for me to study) and that means that I will lose my second choice school too where I have very generous scholarship. 

If anyone has some experience in this I would greatly appreciate your input. I don't want to break the promise with my second choice school and, on the other hand, accepting both offers now seems like a safe option. I have to make the decision before April 15. Thanks a lot.

Edited April 6, 2017 by Bird of Passage

[.letmeinplz//]

If the school is part of the CGS res (with your deadline they probably are) backing out of an accepted offer after April 15th requires a written release. If your plan is to accept both and then tell funded choice you are leaving if you get external funding and telling unfunded school no if you don't get external funding, you will be burning bridges no matter what you do. Take the funded offer (they funded you because they want you).

[Bird of Passage]

Thank you for your response. Yes, both of them are part of CGS res. I was thinking about asking for an extension but probably they will not extend the deadline till July. 

[thelionking]

I'm not an expert on such matters, but my first thought is why tell someone only in July whether or not they will get funding? It's quite late in the game. I wouldn't count on getting much if they offer you anything. 

The psychologist in me (not really a psychologist, but I took some psych courses... haha) can draw parallels to social psychology and marketing strategies to get customers to buy a product..... make someone commit to buying something (going to a university) for a few months, get excited about it, tell everyone about it, and visualize going there for a few months, then at the last moment when they come back to you and say there is no funding it will be hard to say no because you have your heart set on going and thought you'd be going there for months. Car salespeople use this strategy quite a bit when they give you a great price, you get excited and commit to the offer, then at the last moment when you are sitting in the sales office and just signed the contract, they say they have to get the manager to confirm the sale. They come back and say Sorry, my manager said the price is too low. They offer you a higher price and many people will take it anyway because they thought it was a done deal and made the commitment to buy it and don't want to back down now ....

Anyway, maybe there are genuine reasons for getting back to you so late... Like I said, I don't know if any schools would actually do something like this, but I couldn't help but notice the similarities to both situations and it's not a good position to be in.

If it were me, I'd proceed as if you are going to your second choice school because I don't believe it is likely you will get funding at the last minute. If you already said you'd go, what is the incentive for them to try hard to get you money? 

Edited April 6, 2017 by thelionking

[Entangled Phantoms]

24 minutes ago, thelionking said:

I'm not an expert on such matters, but my first thought is why tell someone only in July whether or not they will get funding? It's quite late in the game. I wouldn't count on getting much if they offer you anything. 

The psychologist in me (not really a psychologist, but I took some psych courses... haha) can draw parallels to social psychology and marketing strategies to get customers to buy a product..... make someone commit to buying something (going to a university) for a few months, get excited about it, tell everyone about it, and visualize going there for a few months, then at the last moment when they come back to you and say there is no funding it will be hard to say no because you have your heart set on going and thought you'd be going there for months. Car salespeople use this strategy quite a bit when they give you a great price, you get excited and commit to the offer, then at the last moment when you are sitting in the sales office and just signed the contract, they say they have to get the manager to confirm the sale. They come back and say Sorry, my manager said the price is too low. They offer you a higher price and many people will take it anyway because they thought it was a done deal and made the commitment to buy it and don't want to back down now ....

Anyway, maybe there are genuine reasons for getting back to you so late... Like I said, I don't know if any schools would actually do something like this, but I couldn't help but notice the similarities to both situations and it's not a good position to be in.

If it were me, I'd proceed as if you are going to your second choice school because I don't believe it is likely you will get funding at the last minute. If you already said you'd go, what is the incentive for them to try hard to get you money? 

OP said he/she is waiting on an EXTERNAL scholarship.

[thelionking]

51 minutes ago, Entangled Phantoms said:

OP said he/she is waiting on an EXTERNAL scholarship.

Ah... that certainly changes things, doesn't it?

I'd still go with the second offer because it's a sure thing. If you do great work it will be recognized and get you a good job later on no matter where you go.

[Bird of Passage]

Thank you so much for your responses. Yes, it´s an external scholarship from my government (I am an international student) - I hate that they don't release the decisions until July. I am still negotiating on scholarship with my first choice. I imagine if I go for it, set all the expectations and then the scholarship committee says no - I will not have any chance to attend because the tuition is too expensive. I'll see what the school tells me about increase of scholarship and I'll make the decision accordingly. 

Thanks a lot! 

[limonchello]

Discussed it with my spouse for a little bit because that's an interesting predicament. He says 100% go to your partially funded second choice. if they're both going to give you the same job in the end, it doesn't matter. Go with your second choice because it will eventually become your first choice and you won't regret it! It depends on how competitive the scholarship is, but I'm sure it's HIGHLY competitive and you're not even likely to get it. But who knows! Good luck to you in this tough decision!

[TakeruK]

I think your plan is the right one. Accept the second-choice school and pay the deposit, etc. Once you hear back in July about the first choice school, then check with the first choice school to ensure they will still accept you this late in the game. If so, then withdraw from your second-choice school and accept the first choice school's offer. You will lose your deposit, you may count as a student that "quit" and you might make some people at 2nd-choice school unhappy but that's life, you can't please everyone. There aren't any real consequences other than this (i.e. you might not be able to apply for future things at 2nd-choice schools if you made them unhappy enough, but it would be a little strange for someone to hold a grudge forever).

I think a lot of people misunderstand the CGS resolution.

First, the intent is to prevent schools from forcing students to decide before April 15 and to prevent students from saying yes to more than one school at a time. As long as you first withdraw from second-choice school and accept the first-choice school, then you will be okay. But of course, before you withdraw from second-choice school, ensure that first-choice school still has a spot for you in July!

Second, unless your signed letter says something different, there is no legal obligation to finish an academic program that you started. You can quit school at any time, even before the term begins. No one is going to force you to go to a school! 

[Bird of Passage]

@limonchello thanks for taking an extra time to discuss my case. I appreciate it. 

My second choice school is fully funded, I only have to pay the living expenses. My first choice school is excellent in my field of study and it more aligns with my career goals. I talked to recent scholarship recipients and they said it's almost impossible for me not to get the scholarship from government if I have everything in order (Good GPA, work experience, the school ranking, etc.) which I have. There is a guy who had half of my funding last year from the same school (first choice) but still got the rest of the funding. I have studied in the US during my undergrad for a year and I know how competitive  the job market is. I am afraid of not getting job I dream about after I graduate from the grad school. I don't know. I asked them to extend the decision deadline a little bit so I can maybe reconsider everything one more time

[Bird of Passage]

@TakeruK Thank you for your response and explaining me in detail the CGS resolution. It makes more sense now. 

The first choice school is a very competitive one and I guess if I text them back in July they may have a spot for me but not the scholarship. I guess they will disburse the scholarship to accepted students. Few days before they gave me the additional scholarship (incremental though) and I guess that's because some people declined their offer. 

 

[thelionking]

Well if it's almost a sure thing, maybe you should reconsider it. Are you able to defer your second choice by one year? If you can, I'd do that and accept the first offer. If something happens and you don't get the scholarship, then at least you know you'll be able to attend the second choice school in one year's time.

If you can't defer, then I guess it depends on how much of a gambler you are.... If you are sure that your source is giving you accurate information, then maybe it's worth taking a small risk for the chance to gain a whole lot more. Can you contact the scholarship office and find what percentage of scholarship applicants end up getting funding from your country? 

If you do decide to go this route, I'd keep in contact with the second school and maintain good ties with them in case you need to reapply again the following year. It also helps if you provide them with a good reason as to why you cannot attend. Perhaps you could keep it vague and mention you have some temporary financial difficulties that are preventing you from accepting their offer this year. 

Edited April 11, 2017 by thelionking

[TakeruK]

10 hours ago, Bird of Passage said:

@TakeruK Thank you for your response and explaining me in detail the CGS resolution. It makes more sense now. 

The first choice school is a very competitive one and I guess if I text them back in July they may have a spot for me but not the scholarship. I guess they will disburse the scholarship to accepted students. Few days before they gave me the additional scholarship (incremental though) and I guess that's because some people declined their offer. 

 

Just to clarify:

1. First choice school is competitive, but they did give you a small scholarship, however this will not be enough.

2. A few days ago, they increased your scholarship by a little bit but it's still not enough.

3. This first choice school will have a spot for you in July, but the scholarship they are currently offering might not be there anymore.

4. However, in July, you will hear about an external scholarship. If you get this external scholarship, you will be able to attend first choice school even if the first choice school has no money for you.

5. Currently, you have already accepted the second choice school and paid their deposit.

Is this correct?

If so, then I think my earlier advice still stands. You cannot count on the external scholarship so you should not change any plans you currently have with the second choice school (If I am wrong about #5 above, then my advice is to make it true---accept the offer and pay the deposit). You can think of the deposit as "insurance" in case you don't get into your first choice school. If you do, then you can leave your second choice school. 

A couple more notes though:

a. At the second choice school, avoid registering for as long as possible. Sometimes they won't require you to officially register as a student until late July or even August. It will be easier for you to withdraw if you have not yet registered as a student.

b. Make sure that the first choice school knows that you are waiting for an external scholarship decision before you can accept their offer. Check now that there is still a spot for you in July if you happen to get an external scholarship. Note that some schools won't hold a spot open for you until July so unless you already have confirmation, you can't assume that you can still get in after July.

[thelionking]

12 hours ago, TakeruK said:

 Check now that there is still a spot for you in July if you happen to get an external scholarship. Note that some schools won't hold a spot open for you until July so unless you already have confirmation, you can't assume that you can still get in after July.

I should have been clearer in my last post... When I first read this from the OP it sounded off, like it was a mistake, because I'd never heard of a school holding a spot for so long. So this is why I responded as I did in my last post and was writing under the assumption that they would likely not offer it back to you. Instead, I should have told you to double check that this fact is correct. Perhaps they will still be able to offer you a spot but will no longer have the funding. I think it would be wise to check again and to get the answer in writing (such as by email) to keep for your records just in case you need it later on.

Edited April 12, 2017 by thelionking

[Bird of Passage]

@thelionking   The scholarship will open in couple of days and every time I call them now they tell me to wait until they officially open the applications and then I will have the opportunity to attend the information sessions. So I am just waiting for their information sessions which will be held in couple of days. I talked to few past scholarship applicants and they all have received the money. I am not sure if I can defer the second choice school for a year. I really want to go to grad school this year because I think I will waste one more year continuing doing what I am doing right now. If I stay one more year then I need to do something different - accumulating the experience (volunteering abroad) that will get me to the better school than my second choice. 

[Bird of Passage]

@TakeruK  1. My first choice school gave me the hald of tuition. Actually both schools gave me more or less the same money, but the tuition at my first choice school is twice as                              much at my second choice

                  2. Yes, they increased by a very small amount (by 2 %)

                  3. I think that they might have a spot for me (not sure of this too), definitely not the scholarship. 

                  4. No, it will be impossible to attend the school with full governmental scholarship. I need to have some sort of scholarship from school too. The scholarship that I have                          from  the first school is considered as advantage among other students applying to governmental funding. It will be too much money to ask from government and I don't                       think they will give me it too. 

                 5. No, I have not accepted anything yet and have not paid deposit as well.           

[Purkachu]

28 minutes ago, Bird of Passage said:

@TakeruK  1. My first choice school gave me the hald of tuition. Actually both schools gave me more or less the same money, but the tuition at my first choice school is twice as                              much at my second choice

                  2. Yes, they increased by a very small amount (by 2 %)

                  3. I think that they might have a spot for me (not sure of this too), definitely not the scholarship. 

                  4. No, it will be impossible to attend the school with full governmental scholarship. I need to have some sort of scholarship from school too. The scholarship that I have                          from  the first school is considered as advantage among other students applying to governmental funding. It will be too much money to ask from government and I don't                       think they will give me it too. 

                 5. No, I have not accepted anything yet and have not paid deposit as well.           

6

Given this information, I think you have even less of a choice here. The only chance you can be fully funded at your first choice school is to accept its offer right now to secure the internal funding, then move on to secure the governmental funding. If all you want is to get into this school, then I guess you would have to prepare for the worst and maybe reapply next year if you can't secure the governmental funding. However, it appears that your ultimate goal is to attend graduate school this year. The only way you can guarantee that is to accept the offer from your second choice school. 

P.S. The third option is to accept both offers right now, but would it be possible? I know it's definitely not ethical, but can somebody actually do that?

[TakeruK]

With the new information, I agree with @Purkachu. You really are in a tough situation here. I'll stick to ethical solutions only in this discussion since I believe that students acting unethically harms all of us. I think you have three options:

1. Take the risk with your first choice school. Accept their offer and hope you get the scholarship from your government. If not, then you will have to think of an alternate plan. Note that you should also check with first choice school that you would be allowed to keep all of the money from your government scholarship: some schools limit how much external money you can get before internal money changes.

2. Play it safe with the second choice school. Take their offer. By the way, can you still take the government scholarship to this school?

3. The ethical way to try to have both is to tell both schools what's going on. This might work out, or it might backfire. So, there's a different type of risk to it. But if you tell both schools whats going on, then maybe your second choice school will hold your scholarship for you until July. Maybe not though, but if you were going to choose Option 1 above, then you don't really have anything to lose by telling your second choice school what's going on and hoping they will hold a spot for you. Since if they say no, then you are in the same situation as if you chose option 1.

[thelionking]

I don't want to be the "Negative Nellie" here, but I think you still need to verify some scholarship information.  While it may be true that all the students in this program who come from your country have received a scholarship, you do not know if any others have been accepted in the past and were declined a scholarship from your country. If the tuition is so expensive, it is possible other applicants could not enroll because they could not afford to cover the difference and they had to take other offers or try again the following year. Therefore, I think it could be useful to find out what has happened in past years in terms of the number of applicants for such scholarships and the number of people who end up receiving one.

As the others have mentioned above, I think it will come down to what is more important to you: attending grad school next year (in which case choosing the 2nd school would make the most sense because it is a sure thing) or attending a better program (while it is not guaranteed and there is a chance you'd have to reapply again, if you won't be happy at the 2nd school because you know you can get into a better institution, then it will be worth the risk).

Edited April 17, 2017 by thelionking

[Bird of Passage]

On 4/16/2017 at 3:00 PM, Purkachu said:

 

Dear all,

Thank you so much for taking time and giving me valuable advice. I have decided to go for the second offer because I actually talked to someone who told me that the career path with the second choice school might be more relevant and in demand in future than the first choice. Realizing this is such a relief. Also I cannot wait for one year - that's what I know for sure.  Second choice gave me the full scholarship and as I was told it is very rare and I think I should appreciate it.  

Thank you for all your responses! It was helpful. Good luck with everything.