iExcelAtMicrosoftPuns

Nutritional yeast? More like Chicken Little.

Pregnancy test

Don't wear a tux, don't lie, and don't fart unless they do it first.

Gawwwwk Pineapple. I don't hate it but it's probably my least favorite pizza topping Now this is a pizza I'll have to try- I've got some very nice pizza places in town and I'm sure they could pull this off.

I love red pepper flakes, I put them on everything... it's a serious problem.

lady without contacts, I used to love that game!

Test results

Hey ya'll, What is your perfect pizza topped with? I like onion, kalmata olives, and fresh mozzarella delivered and wrapped in an acceptance letter.

Off topic

http://www.mitpressjournals.org/toc/coli/38/4 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computational_linguistics http://www.coli.uni-saarland.de/~hansu/what_is_cl.html http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2015944 If you'd like I'll read these articles for you and summarize them. and perhaps I'll submit a paper on your behalf and perhaps I'll contact some POI's and rate graduate programs based on where you would most like to live (do you prefer desert climates, tropical, seasonal, or cold?) Tell you what I'll even write your SOP- and defend your dissertation. Thank you for this opportunity.

I'd be down.

Man I feel ya. My first few semesters of college I paid for myself and didn't have money for any books. It was miserable, I got all C's and B's and lost all my confidence. Chin up, chap!

Very nice, and you notice how your parents are completely irrelevant to this? If you can show your passion and potential through a well composed SOP you'll do just fine.

Blast off

You mean vanity, like one of these right

So... you never said specifically that you're taking it out. Off topic maybe: but why do you want to go into the field you're in?

Full Frontal

I agree with everyone else, do not mention this. Seriously, what good do you think it will do? Do you think that because your parents are somebody you should be treated any differently? What if it did make a difference? Would you be willing to give up your spot in graduate school so someone with even more important parents could join? But really, do not mention your parents- I'm sure you're intelligent, and talented enough to accomplish this without them.

I second SR0304, Kenneth Burke is a great place to start. In regards to using dramatism to analyze political pieces; you may want to take a look here http://www.ukessays.com/essays/cultural-studies/theory-of-dramatism-and-kenneth-burke.php

:-D