nugget

Thank you cards sound like a good idea. You do want to be careful to not come across as trying to influence or bribe your referees before they write all of your letters if you want to give them gifts. I only gave my referees gifts after I was certain that I would not be asking them to write letters again so that my gifts would not be misinterpreted in any way and they would be preceived as genuine tokens of appreciation.

One way to approach this is to select faults that can also be strengths depending upon the context. ex: shy but have strong listening skills. You can also choose weaknesses that are less central to social work (however, you want to be careful to not give the impression that you don't have a good understanding of what social work is and what this work entails). When you mention a weakness, you could also mention any strategies or strengths you have to compensate for that weakness, which will show a certain degree of resourcefulnes and serve to your advantage. As a social worker, part of your job is to help clients learn about their strengths and find strategies to overcome their challenges and weaknesses. So if you are able to do this in your own life, then you will likely to be able to help clients do the same.

I think it's great you took a chance and applied anyway. You may pleasantly surprise yourself but the only way to find out is to give yourself every chance you can by applying to all the schools that interest you. Ideally, you'll get a few different offers. Then you just need to make sure to choose the department that seems to be the most dynamic, liberal and open-minded to your original ideas. I think that's the sort of place where you'll thrive the most. Best of luck.

The fall semester is more than half a year away. The good news is that there is still time to find a job, even one that pays minimum wage, if you need to. You should be able to save $3,000 or more as long as you aren't too picky about where you work. As an added benefit, time may pass by more quickly if you are busy working next year and keeping you mind occupied on other things while you wait on admissions decisions.

Congratulations!

After the admissions decisions came in and I was certain I would not need to ask them to be an academic reference again, I gave my references cards and gifts (so that none of them would think I was trying to bribe them). I ordered mugs from my university, gave chocolates and gift cards (for coffee shops and I gave one restaurant gift card to someone who wrote a whole bunch of references and clearly put a lot of thought and effort into each one of them). After being in grad school for a few months and seeing just how much work it is, I appreciate the time my profs put into my letters even more than before I started grad school. I'm glad I took the extra time and effort to express my gratitude as they clearly deserved it.

Awww... that's too bad. I think it would be worthwhile to inquire about your options to reapply to the program and the likelihood of readmission and go from there. Best of luck to you!

I'd just like to step in and remind some of us that Pinkster/CorruptedInnocence is an adult and she has the right to attend grad school if she is accepted into a program and she also has the right to study social work if that is what interests her the most. I have always believed that people are capable of growth and change. If they weren't, then what would be the point of having psychologists, teachers, social workers, speech language pathologists, occupational therapists, and the list goes on. If everyone reflects on their lives and their mentality 5, 10, or 15 years ago, I am sure that you will find a lot of personal growth and change in your own lives. I just completed one semester of a social work program and one thing I've learned is that there is A LOT of class and small group discussion, in addition to readings and personal reflections that expose students to all sorts of diverse, marginalized and oppressed groups of people in society. The material challenges everyone to reflect on their social location (one's gender, race, socioeconomic status, level of education, religious affiliations, sexual orientation, etc) and they ways that one's personal social location impacts the ways that we perceive other groups of people and treat them (so that the cycle of oppression that occurs in society is not repeated in therapy sessions). However, in order to do well on the assignments I believe that it's quite difficult to hide one's emotions, attitudes or opinions about various social issues or groups of people and convince a professor (and clients) that one has a solid grasp of key social work concepts. Pinkster/CorruptInnocence, I think that your plan to hide your true emotions, jealousy or lack of emphathy towards people experiencing certain problems or challenges will lead you to do poorly on your assignments and hinder you in connecting well with your clients. In many of your assignments, you will need to take an honest look at yourself and your social location and address this in a thoughtful, analytical and mature way or your professors will know that you are just skimming the surface and not fully grasping the class material. This self-reflection is not easy for most people to do, especially at first. But you will have many opportunities to share your ideas in class and learn from other students and their personal experiences which are shaped by their own social locations. If you take this opportunity to challenge yourself, grapple with the material, consider different perspectives, be open to new ideas, learning, personal growth and change as you go through the readings and part take in classroom discussions, I think you could succeed in the program. But if you prefer to go through this process on a superficial level, hide your true opinions, and not challenge the personal biases you have towards certain people in society and thoroughly examine where they come from (ie: teenage mothers, women who get an abortion, homosexuals, etc) then I don't think the personal growth needed to work in the field will occur. In the first semester in particular, which is designed to introduce you to key concepts in social work and shape you up for your first internship, I believe that if your time and attention are mainly focused on dating and meeting men this will jeopardize your success in the program. Especially because a lot of time needs to be devoted to so much personal growth and learning in a short amount of time. For some, this learning process is mentally and emotionally exhausting. It's not easy to change one's attitudes, behaviours and viewpoints, even in the face of evidence, once certain ideas or baises have been engrained in our minds over the years and reinforced by family, friends and other influences. But this process is essential in order to address our personal biases towards others and become effective social workers. For those who are suggesting that she will become a terrible social worker or that you are now wary of social workers, I find that such comments are harsh. Remember that highly skilled and educated professors grade and supervise students during all of the coursework and internships. Approximately half of the MSW program consists of internships, in fact. I believe that PhD level professors and internship supervisors will be able to recognize which students fully grasp the material and work effectively with clients and can continue in the program, and that in rare circumstances, if a student does not adequately grasp key social work concepts or if their work is dertrimental to the well being of clients, then such students will not be allowed to continue in the program. I think that for most professors of social work, maintaining moral and professional integrity is important and that in rare circumstances, an incompetent student would not be allowed to complete the program. The story I am about to tell is not meant to discourage... One of my professors told us about a student who grew up in a small, isolated town with a very homogeneos population - white, heterosexual folks who were mostly middle class - and this student had left home and was meeting people with diverse backgrounds for the first time. Learning about, reflecting on and discussing social diversity stretched her mind so much that she decided to withdraw after the first semester... her ability to be open-minded was stretched to the maximum, so much that it became too overwhelming for her to handle and to work with so many kinds of diverse people that she had never interacted with before. The reason why I mentioned this rare example is to illustrate that for some people, the best way to know if one likes or is well-suited to a profession is to attend a program at school and give it a try. After working or volunteering in the field and getting a taste of what it is like (as I would assume that Pinkster/CorruptedInnocence would have already done otherwise she would not be qualified to apply to MSW programs), the only thing left to do is to enroll in a program, give it your best shot and see if you like it and are well-suited for this sort of work. Pinkster/CorruptedInnocence, I think that next year the ball is in your hands. You are an adult and your education and career are what you make of it (apart from other obvious factors you don't have complete control over, like receiving admission offers, qualifying for a student loan, etc). If you work hard, stretch your mind beyond your comfort zone, learn from other students, embrace change, and maintaim a flexible and open mind throughout the entire process, you can succeed. If you are distracted, primarily focus on catching a man and attempt to hide your biases, negative attitudes or judgments about other people (which everyone has to a degree, since complete objectivity is impossible) then your success in the program will be in great jeopardy. It is up to you to decide what to do and where your priorities lie.

I generally don't like to speak for other people, but I think the OP might have noticed some naiveness based on other posts and comments that were made and not on the experiences/decisions you are referring to right now, as you haven't seemed to discuss them in earlier posts so the OP could not have known about them. It seems like you have spent much of your life in a protective and sheltered environment living with your parents, based on previous posts you're made. If you are lacking in life experience I believe one cure to for this is to become more independent - have more varied life experiences (like moving out of your parent's home, which I believe you plan to do) and learn about different perspectives and experiences that other people have - especially people who are quite different from yourself. ex: poor people, the elderly, homosexuals, non-Chrisitians, immigrants, war veterans, different racial/ethnic groups, etc... People who think differently from you (I did not say better - DIFFERENTLY), have different goals and priorities and a different definition of what it means to be successful or happy. In the meantime, you have received a lot of feedback from a number of people who have noticed a certain naiveness that could easily be taken advantage of and leave you getting badly hurt by other men. I think it would be wise to thoroughly reflect on this and how this feedback might help you to avoid future heartaches. If you have lived all or most of your life in a protective environment, I think it will likely take you a few years to become more "real world savvy." This is not an overnight process, unfortunately. I would encourage you to keep talking to your therapist and any other wise and trusted adult with lots of solid life experience to help you along in the growth and maturation process. After acquiring more life experience in a few years, I believe you will view the world and your problems (and other people's problems) in more realistic ways which will help you make better decisions for yourself and avoid some of the problems you've been experiencing.

Sorry to hear about this problem you're having. You didn't mention if you ended up getting a B or B+ in the other course and which courses you took. If you end up appealing and have the support of your PI, perhaps you could argue that the two courses average out to a B if you got a B+ in the second one. Your case would be even stronger if the courses were closely related. Best of luck!

I remember when I applied last year and had problems with one of my references, Angela said if you are a little late getting something in that was someones else's responsiblity to do (ie: references) they are forgiving with items that are a bit late. But if it is something you are responsible for doing within the deadline then they aren't flexible. But I'd still double check before trecking out to Toronto. It's always best to get first hand information.

I would call U of T on Monday morning to double check. But if they don't accept late applications it sounds like you might have to travel to Toronto on Monday.

I've heard it's more like $30,000 but maybe it's different in Canada. In any case, this figure is not as high as it sounds. When you calculate the cost of daycare, loss of working hours (in Canada you earn half of your salary if you take a 1 year parental leave), food, diapers, clothing, crib, stroller, toys, etc for the first 4 or 5 years of a child's life I am sure most people spend $30,000 or more. So for people who adopt a 4 or 5 year old, in terms of costs, it would work out to about the same thing.

Gellert: To followed up on that point, we all have dreams and hopes for our lives. It's great to go after our dreams. But if something happens that makes it impossible to fulfill our dreams (ie: becoming infertile, acquiring a terminal illness or disability, filing for bankrupcy, divorce, whatever...) there comes a point in time in our life, after the disappointment and necessary time for grief and mourning, that we have a choice to make. This is what I was referring to. The choice. After the mourning period (and the duration will vary from person to person), we can live the rest of our lives in the past and feel regret, bitterness, sadness and depression. Or we can look for the good things we have in our lives, be grateful for other things we have in our lives, and create new dreams and goals that reflect our new reality and find new ways to be happy. This is what I was refering to. I think this is important for one's mental health. If someone lives in regret and in the past it is not healthy. But I in no way meant to suggest that mourning is not necessary.

Did not mean to offend. I am able to have children one day, as far as I know, but I would rather adopt. Orphaned children are not second class children or last resort choices, as far as I am concerned. There are so many deserving children in this world who are suffering because they lack the love and stability of a parent and a permanent home. It does not matter to me whose womb the baby comes from. I can love a child even if it has different genes or even if I didn't witness the baby's birthday or wasn't the first one to hold it. But I realize I am a minority and many don't feel this way. Which is why I said I don't understand why the biological connection is so important for some people. I did not say people who think differently are wrong to think as they do or they shouldn't. I just said that I don't understand it.

I don't see what the big hype is for people to have their own birth children. There are so many orphaned children who are deserving of loving and devoted parents. If people can't have children and they are dying to have some why don't they try to adopt? That seems like a healthier alternative, from a mental health perspective, rather than to become anxious,depressed and regretful for the rest of their lives. A happy person is someone who makes the best use of the hand of cards that life deals them, rather than trying to force what cannot happen and live with deep sadness and regret over things that were just not meant to be.

Dog walking. Walking is a great way to relieve stress (as long as you like dogs).

You are forgeting about the human factor. People want to work with people that they get along with well. This is subjective and will depend on factors that an audience can't comment on such as the applicants' personalities and if certain people would enjoy working with them, dislike working with them, or somewhere in between.

BulletCat: It seems as if you have a tendency to confuse the words educated and smart. It is not correct to say you aren't smart because you haven't read something (well in this particular context). It is simply a matter of having different curriculums at school, different opportunities, influences and interests. Intelligence is a completely different issue that has to do with potential and ability, rather than exposure to a particular curriculum at school. Congrats on getting into such a great school!

You probably won't have time to go out 3-4 nights a week like in undergrad but one night a week should be fine (but maybe not during the end of the term).

The Plateau is a nice area. Lots of artists live there and there are lots of nice restaurants in the area. There is also a nice mountain and a huge park in the area which is great for walking, summer sports, toboganing, cross country skiing, etc. I was going to suggest this area but prices have increased over the past few years and I wasn't sure it would still be within your budget. If you find a place you like in the Plateau area for $400 and it's walking distance, I would take it. There is a lot of nightlife in that area and it is close to many McGill hangouts so you can't go wrong.

Would you feel more comfortable organizing a joint effort in your lab where everyone signs the same card and, if you wish to purchase a gift, you could collectively give your advisor a potted plant, or something else along those lines? If it's a joint effort, it can be given to your advisor by a more senior member of the lab or a pair of people who know him better and would feel more comfortable presenting it to him.

I'm sure you're reading the comments, Pinkster. I was referring to people who join later on and make suggestions that were already discussed on previous pages, that's all.

I'm enjoying the discussion but sometimes I feel as though the conversation is going in circles. I guess it's hard to keep track of all of things previously said when people join the conversation late and have not gone back to read some of the previous comments.

I just wanted to add, students are not entitled to receive a LOR from their professors. It needs to be earned. It sounds like you already know that you weren't working hard, thus you did not do so well in the course. Why do you think you are entitled to get a LOR? Because you paid your tuition fees and showed up to class? It would not be fair to other students if she gave you a strong LOR and did the same for those who actually worked hard in her class so I believe that is why you did not get one.