LittleDarlings

I'm pretty cute not gonna lie. Without being vain.

What post are you talking about? I can tell you if I did or didn't. I'm pretty sure I didn't. If i did then sorry but there was probably a reason why. Like I said if I did I don't remember. I have down voted a ton but I honestly don't remember you saying anything super rude or mean that made me down vote you

... I didn't down vote you. I had no reason to, you weren't rude or anything. I'm willing to listen to the advice but I also have to consider other things.

The farthest is 5 hours and I looked at a few places there and if you live on the outskirts of the city rent is about 500-600. There is also an apartment there that is right near the campus and fully furnished and with a roommate it is about 400 a month (400 for each person). I have done a little bit of research probably not enough, but I am afraid of jinxing myself. If I plan too much or get too excited I won't get in. A few of the other schools I applied to I know people who go there or live nearby so they can help, and even possibly be a roommate.

I get it, I do have a car, all the places I applied I have the ability to drive to, my parents would also help me physically move. I knew that moving wouldn't be free but I don't think I thought about how much everything would cost. I knew my parents would help, I also knew I would have a small stash but it all just seems like a lot. I am not going to super worry about it though until I find out if I got into any other programs though. I can't stress myself out.

I'm getting freaked out, I don't have that. How am I going to do this?

Thank you it is good to know that even if grad school doesn't happen immediately there are ways I can find work out of this area and move. It is still my goal to go to grad school but if it doesn't happen next year I can still progress my life.

Never thought of that. I do have a small income so I could put some money aside now, I think my parents would also be very helpful, even though I don't want to be dependent on them.

I actually did not think about that at all. I saw with a few of the schools you can wait until your student loan is disbursed to pay for your apartment. I do have 1 credit card that I could use, my money situation is complicated and I can't explain it. I think if I really needed it my parents would help too. I guess I will know what I am going to do within the next few months. I have used indeed I don't know what idealist is but I can look it up

My therapist is a clinical social worker. She got her degree at one of the schools I applied to. I pretty much know the life story of my therapist, she is like a friend but I pay her to listen to all my problems and give me advice on how to handle them. I figure if I worked in private practice I would work with all kinds of populations, mostly self-esteem issues, and personality disorders. I understand different people can fit into those categories. I don't know what I will be faced with but I honesty think I can handle it. I have to put the jealousy behind me which is hard but I am in therapy, I will likely be in therapy when I go to school so I can work through this I think. I think I am just afraid. I have lived away from home so I know how to do some stuff (I can do laundry, the color sorting is kind of rough because my mom sorts each individual color), I can cook some foods. I mean I am not a totally helpless infant I assume. I am just used to having someone do it for me. It is weird because I say how I want to be a stay at home wife and mother and I have none of the qualities of someone who could handle that. Anyways I can't imagine living here in this area longer, I just don't see my life progressing. I need my life to move on even if it isn't meeting someone and marrying them tomorrow I just need to be an adult.

Thank you. I think I can do this. My therapist is kind of harsh sometimes, I questioned whether I liked her a lot because she made comments about my mom being kind of old to have young kids, and she kind of jokes a lot about stuff that is my life and i don't find funny but I laugh along with anyways. In the end I like her she is nice, I have opened up to her more than any other person I have gone to in the past. My point sometimes therapists are kind of rudish or annoying or whatever, I don't intend to be any of those but I think I can put my personal beliefs aside to help. I hope by the time I finish the program whether it is in the Fall or at another point in time I will be less jealous and in more of a happy place.

I job searched for a while but I couldn't find anything that wasn't commission based. Every opportunity I was called back for was some kind of pyramid scheme type work. I applied to a few places out of state, my fear with that is how will I have money to initially move? I just know I can't stay here longer. My life needs to actually start. I know that it's possible to meet someone doing anything, I could meet someone at Walmart tomorrow while I'm shopping I just need to actually do something with my life. I'm 23 not getting any younger.

I don't view all single people as lonely I guess. I mean I mentioned an aunt who is in her 50s and single and I went out with her recently and she has a ton of friends she goes to these bars and plays cards and I mean she knows everyone! That's awesome but I personally know how I feel being single at the moment and it sucks. It's a death sentence to me. Then seeing everyone else around me getting pregnant or engaged, I just found out another girl I graduated HS with is pregnant by her fiance. I mean I have family and friends but it's not enough, they can't provide that love and other stuff that a significant other can. I love that feeling of being wanted and it makes me feel confident and good knowing that I am in a relationship, someone actually wants to be with me and spend their time with me and they think I'm pretty or funny or whatever I love that. I need that. I also just like regular sex... Just being honest. Anyways I can't see myself staying in this area no matter what so if I don't go to grad school I think I am going to try to move out of state and find a job. Either way I guess I have to make new friends and I think I can do that. I'm friendly.

I'm sure that we have all read those comments.. I also explained myself after and I'm pretty sure ip apologized. I'm not going to apologize forever. It isn't about compassion, why did that situation warrant compassion? He was in a relationship and his girlfriend was pregnant.. There is not sad about that so I don't see why it deserved compassion? Even empathy? I mean I don't know I have never been pregnant or in a long term relationship but I'm sure if I was I certainly wouldn't be complaining.

I got gift cards and a thank you card for my letter writers. I just wanted to show them that I appreciate what they did and I was probably so annoying because I had to send a few reminder emails so I definitely wanted to give them something.

I feel like if people what invest their time and money into something we deem a hobby then more power to them it's their life

Like I said numerous times I am not going to school solely to find a husband, it would be ideal for it to happen while in school though since I will be around more people than I will be in my usual life. You can say what you want but I'm going back to school for social work whether it is this Fall or the following or the following (god forbid). It is happening. I feel like no one gets it, if I wasn't doing this program I would do another one and I would still hope to find a significant other in one. Any job I get I hope I find a significant other while doing it. I want to find a significant other in general so everything I do from now until me finding him is somewhat motivated by finding someone. I mean who wants to go through life alone? I certainly don't and I'm not going to apologize for wanting a family too. My therapist had 2 kids and a husband before she even considered school, and then she went to school because her kids playmates mom was going to school and she felt left out. People have different reasons for school and their passions and I'm sorry you don't agree with mine or understand but I want it all. Including a husband and children while I am youngish, and a career. School is like killing 2 birthday with 1 stone, I am constantly in the position to meet people and make friends and establish relationships and I get to leave with a degree that will start a career that I really want.

Ok I have been accepted into a program already so I am going no matter what. In private practice which is my ultimate goal you do get to pick and research the person you go to. I know because in my time in counseling I did my research about who I would go to what their specialties were and everything else. So it is possible to research, that is what I meant. Ideally I won't work for a state agency, that isn't necessarily my goal. I already have one degree so computer science is not possible because I'm not going back to school for another undergrad degree, I don't like animals much so I won't be going that route. I am going to do exactly what I am doing now... Waiting for acceptances or rejections and if it falls through I will go find some work or volunteer work and then try again. I don't think I am this awful person or this super emotionally fragile person. I can handle this job. It's not wrong to desperately want a family and once I have it if will be even better. I mentioned my best friend is pregnant and as much as I dislike the situation I can't not be her friend. I just have to fake my emotions. I'm sure I can do that for this career, or be happy with my husband and family. I think if I'm accepted and go through a program I can figure my life out I can change or grow up and mature. I am just 23 and it isn't as if I don't WANT to change, or I'm not trying. I am still doing the therapy thing, I'm dating so I'm trying really hard to get to a happy place. It's too late now I applied and if I don't get accepted anywhere else I will figure my situation out.

I'm sorry you're worried. I'm still going to pursue the career. I don't know what soul searching for another year would really do. I think I can do well in this program. I think it gives me a chance to learn about myself and I think it will be fine. I would think anyone who goes to therapy would research the person before they go to them. I have the ability to help people even if I totally disagree with their situation. My problem is when it comes to me comparing their life to my own but obviously that wouldn't happen in front of them. They wouldn't know. Anyways who knows maybe after this 2 years is up I will be a totally different person, maybe even a person who is in a serious relationship/ married:) As far as the move I think I can totally do this! I think if I don't get into any other programs I might just look for a job out of state. I just don't know how I would go about moving to another state. I'm kind of depending on the cushion of student loans to help with moving away. I'm sure this situation will work itself out.

Aww I'm so sorry that happened. I haven't ever been in the position of moving alone (hopefully I will in the fall) I say just make a ton of friends and I'm sure school will keep you busy, you can meet people in your classes. You will always have your family to be a support system even if they aren't close.

... I don't know what reddit is so ok then. No thanks I will stay here

I go to therapy

Gosh I am failing when it comes to figuring out opportunities... I have looked at some women's shelters and an organization called Chicktime for abused young women there are tons of opportunities but that isn't going to get me out of this horrific area that I live in.

It scares me that my life isn't happening. Like I said my friend is having a baby, it just happened... Because I assume that "that's life and life just happens" but life for me isn't "just happening". Does that make sense? Maybe not. Everything in my life is well planned out. Every aspect of it, I went to high school I graduated, I went directly to college I graduated on time, then I took this year off and I was like now what? I feel like nothing eventful is happening and that doesn't mean oh I want to get pregnant and have something THAT life changing necessarily but I just don't know my direction. I'm relying on going to grad school and if that doesn't happen I have no idea what happens next. I can't find a job, I mean I could work at mcdonalds or Starbucks but I went to school for 4 years to not have to work there (my money situation is way more complicated that I can't get into) not to be a snob but I just thought if I went to school I could find some work in my field. I am looking into volunteer opportunities! I need to keep myself busy , the more free time I have the more I just get depressed. I think I would consider Ameri Corp before peace because I can stay in the US I think and that would be great I just need to get out and be an adult and I have no idea how to go about it.