LittleDarlings

I decided last night maybe if I don't get into any other grad programs this year I will join the Peace Corp? I mean I get to travel and I could do something productive with my life helping people and who knows I could go to one of those other countries and meet someone great? Or maybe Ameri Corp because that's a little bit smaller of a scale. I still would get travels and go meet new people and then I could go to school after? That's if I don't go to school now. Does anyone have experience with those programs?

I was pretty decent when I lived on my own. Accept with meals, I are put a lot or ordered in a lot and ate a ton of lean cuisines. I really hope I go to school far because I need the opportunity.

Lol ok well thanks bye now!

I really am like a little worried now I mean ok I have read that adcoms don't really go out of their way to look at FB and stuff I mean it would take a lot more time I would think to search someone especially when you have thousands of applicants idk

I'm jealous of the fact that she is having a baby in general. I'm not jealous of the situation because ideally I want to be married before I have kids. Anyways this thread isn't for that if you have personal questions you can message me or put it in my other post...

I'm not rehashing this... If you don't like what I said too bad. I said it, it was harsh I feel bad about that part but too late. Don't care. Moving on... And THAT is the truth. Having a baby with anyone unplanned is irresponsible.

I guess I don't have it completely bad lol I just don't know how I would get to that point of being happy without someone. I had a little taste of a relationship and even though it was short lived it was the happiest I have been. Even when we fought or he treated me badly I was still so happy to just be with him and be his girlfriend. Even when things ended Or I knew they were ending I couldn't bring myself to end it because I wanted it to work so much. Maybe making more friends would help because I would have more people to spend time with and be happy with and do happy things with. I just don't have that now. My days are so boring lol

They were true to me, as far as I'm concerned yeah they were. Maybe they were a lot harsher than they should have been but the point wasn't wrong

It wasn't a naive opinion... It was the truth so oh well. You really don't know my mental state at that point so you can't say whether it was a break down or what because you don't know.

I understand why it would be beneficial to me to make the list of pros to being single (even though I need help with that because there is nothing good about single life in my opinion)but you have a boyfriend so why would you make that list? Maybe I misread? I know there is a chance I could be a single graduate student or graduate and be single but I don't want to think about that because it's one of the worst things that could happen to me. I REALLY will not know the direction my life is going in at that point.

And I also think I explained myself a few times in that thread. If grad students and future grad students are entitled to a meltdown every now and then then I don't see why is would be judged for that. It also has nothing to do with my academics or potential in the field. I understand your point but there was much more to that.

So how do I handle my personal feelings? The jealousy?

Not going to lie I have always worried about this because I mean I post stuff that I guess would make it fairly easy to identify myself but I don't see why an adcom would come here and judge someone I mean this is supposed to be a venting place to grad students.. I just feel like it would be wrong to base admission on post that might come on a bad day or really good day of whatever

I know I have thought about it. I just kind of hoped by the time I am taking on clients I will be married or pregnant or whatever and happy. I will just be happy. I used to work at a courthouse and deal with people in those situations all the time and I was fine. At the time I was working there I was also living alone in a big city, I was always busy so I didn't have time to worry about all the stuff I worry about now. I know I want to go into social work but in all honesty I have no idea how I will handle those situations especially the pregnant teen. My therapist was a teen mom and I almost decided to switch doctors. I don't know what to do, I mean its a lose for me either way. If I don't go to school then I'm stuck here doing the nothing that I have been doing since graduation which has left me in a bad position. Lets just hope by the time I'm in school I actually have good things happening to me instead of the awful things that happen to me now

I know I am lucky in a lot of aspects of my life, even in the situation with my friend it isn't ideal to go through what she is going through. I mean everything seems great now but having a baby by a man you've known less than a month has to be stressful. I guess the part that kills me is in the end no matter what she gets this beautiful little baby to raise a be a mom to, she gets to go through this amazing pregnancy and have someone to love her no matter what and always be there you know? Thats hard because I feel like I have nothing, even though I mean I have a family which is good I guess. I just wish I knew how to not be jealous and I am working through it in therapy but it doesn't happen overnight and it is a long built up thing now. Anyways I always thought you had to be married and show that you are a part of a stable family before they would adopt a child out to you? I don't know that I am infertile because even though I have never been pregnant I have never really tried to be (if that makes sense?) so thinking adoption right now is jumping the gun a little. I just don't know what to do to have purpose, I have found places I would volunteer but it just isn't enough I need more in life. I don't know 100% what I want but I just feel like school will help me. Anyways I have heard a lot of people say MSW programs are good for self reflection and maybe it can help me. Like I said my intent wasn't to talk about husbands or babies I just want to know how to make friends and be alone and just personal experiences.

I can't do that, there is no job that I can find. I have talked to my therapist she said that as long as I stay in therapy through school and work through some of this stuff I should be fine. Believe me I worry about that too, I thought I had a good grasp on all this stuff before I applied but then my friends situation happened and now I am totally out there again. If I don't go to school I won't have the opportunity to leave this area because I can't find a decent paying job that would allow me to move so I have to go. I can't handle staying here any longer. My life isn't progressing and I can't risk waiting another year or 2 and being even older going to school. Nothing against people who go to school older but for me I am in a state of panic about being 23 almost with no purpose, I can't imagine waiting another year or longer.

Maybe you have never felt jealousy in your life and if so then thats awesome I honestly wish I could have never experienced it either, but for me it is like every time I see this friend or hear her talk about her baby or a doctors appt or her new boyfriend of less than a month my stomach drops, I have to stop myself from just completely breaking down in tears, and I get this anger that it's not me and I am not even near a point of it being me, then that leads to me thinking "what am I actually doing with my life" and me recapping all the failed relationships and the lack of a new person.. this is EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE HER. Do you know how emotionally draining it is for me? I might be a bad person or whatever but I don't know how to get over that. It is easier for me to just distance myself from people who make me feel like that. In the end she is going to be a totally different person at the end of this, she can't go out and do the stuff I want to do anymore. My birthday is tomorrow, we were supposed to go out to the bars and pick up on guys and drink and have fun. She can't. I hate losing friends but I also hate feeling like shit every time someone gets a boyfriend or engaged or gets pregnant. It is hard and you probably don't understand but it hurts a lot. Luckyducky we have talked about the whole adoption thing and first this is first I would need a husband, a job and money, they don't just give babies away to 22 year olds. If adoption was my only option I would gladly do it but I would need a husband first and that is where the problem begins. I honestly just made this thread to figure out how to function alone in a new city and make friends. I don't want to go back to the "finding a husband" thread. I have read every possible book about how to attract a husband in a year or in 4 steps, or before 35, it is exhausting.

I don't see how can could really be? I have never changed stories, pretty much everything I post is the same point, I just want some life purpose and direction. Maybe I made the mistake of asking you all about it but I don't see how it is trolling for me to ask about actual life experiences of graduate students when I am going to be one next year.

She asked me to be her baby's Godmother, I don't know that I want to be a part of her babies life. I really want my own babies and so to watch her go through what I want so much is hard to me. I know I shouldn't rush it and I do need a job and source of income (can't live at home forever lol) but the fact that it isn't happening is hard for me to deal with right now. I have never been more unhappy in my life then I am right now.

.... She made the decision she made and she has a boyfriend so I am sure he can provide support for her. We are going to grow apart, she is having a baby, I'm not, that means her life will TOTALLY change and my life is still the same. I feel like we are going to grow apart either way, even if I went to school out of state we would likely grow apart so it is inevitable. Anyways I just don't know if I can emotionally handle her being pregnant and be not, just the way the situation happened is hard for me to get over. I know it is selfish and dumb to end a friendship over jealousy but I can't see how I can be a part of this situation. I know I am not the most mature person and I can admit that but I still have to do things that help me, I can't just let my mental health fail by trying to be there for her. It is hard for me to separate myself from her situation because it just happened so quickly. She was with this guy not even a full month and she is pregnant. I was with a guy who was EVERYTHING, perfect for 3 months and I have nothing to show for it. I feel like I have no direction and I have nothing to show for my life.. besides a degree, which is great but a lot of people have those.

Did anyone go to school far away from home? I applied to schools that were all far away from home (like in other states or a minimum of 2 hours away) except for one which I don't know that I want to go to because I can't handle living in this horrible town anymore. I am afraid, I have never lived away from home (except a 3 month internship 2 hours away) I have no idea how to pick out good laundry detergent or balance my diet or anything that at 23 I feel like you should know. How did you manage ALONE in a new place? I am excited to move and start over, hopefully make new friends. I am afraid making friends will be so hard. I NEED new friends though. My best friend just found out she is pregnant and in all honesty I can't imagine continuing a friendship with her. It sounds childish and awful but I can't be her friend and watch her go through what I want so badly... Anyways I only have 3 close-ish friends and they all are in or getting into relationships and obviously I'm not because my life sucks. I need more friends (preferably single) who I can party with and study with. How did you make friends? Did it come easily? I am a friendly person I can make conversation but I get shy. Also was it more easy for you to be alone in grad school? I'm sure some of you live alone with no roommates (not sure if I want that yet) is it easy for you to go out alone and do activities alone? I always wanted to try going to a bar alone and maybe watching a football game but I HATE being alone like sitting there feeling awkward like people are staring and wondering why I'm a loser and alone. I just want my grad school experience to be the best thing ever, I want a fresh start in all aspects. Ideally I want to meet someone and date but my life is sucking lately and I can't solely count on that to happen I guess.

I'm in the same position at the moment my school suggested a community college course as long as the course is taken

I applied to 4 and i feel like it wasn't enough.

Why would I troll and make this up? The counseling conversation was something my therapist asked me about today. It was brought up because (even though my friend isn't not a teenager) my best friend found out that she is pregnant last week and I have gone back and forth with whether or not ending the friendship would be better for me. She asked me how in 2 years after grad school and when I am working in the field I would respond to someone in my situation. She also asked how I would respond to people who come in to me with emotional issues but still have great marriages, relationships and or families. Since I am having such a hard time in that department and I guess it is all a jealousy issue that is why she asked. Her point was pretty much that I need to be in a happy place where other peoples life situations won't be a trigger for me. I told her that in 2 years I will hopefully at least be in a successful relationship/married and I won't have anything to feel jealous of and then that problem will be solved. As for the 2 guys, I just met the PA guy (met him online I mean) I asked about personal preferences because I have this tendency to stop talking to guys for dumb reasons, it could be teeth or hair or not in shape, they just don't fit into the imagine I have of what I want and this guy has been so nice to me. I don't want to do that, I know his niceness could be a total charade and then I will be the stupid one who gets "played" (not like that hasn't happened numerous times lol) but I am willing to take that chance because he could be everything I want I guess? I just need to be less shallow. I have a whole slew of issues working against me in relationships I think. That was the point of my post. It came out of no where but it was on my mind so I asked. I also understand how dumb my comment about the KY guy not being a bad guy because he has a kid. I guess I meant that because he is so loving to his daughter who he talks about all the time (and he has said before he wants other kids) that he can't be that bad. He seems cool, he was married and she cheated and he divorced her. I can admit I am naive about a lot and I have made HORRIBLE decisions that could have left me in a really bad position if not really physically hurt. I did learn though from them and I wouldn't do them again. I just don't want to think of all people as bad. He seems nice but I am not rushing to move to KY and be with him or to PA to be with the other guy (neither situation is convenient).

I haven't ever seen one but if you remember the name inbox it too me. I met those guys on okcupid, I have also used pof and the free version of Christian mingle. I might pay for Eharmony soon, those people get married faster