Caylynn

Love seeing all the photos of everyone's pets!
 
Here are our three crazy cats:


My husband is allergic to cats, but fortunately isn't allergic to Sphynx! (Some people with cat allergies can tolerate Sphynx, some can't.)

As I type this, the youngest is curled up in my lap, purring away. They are the sweetest, most affectionate cats I've ever met.

Love seeing all the photos of everyone's pets!
 
Here are our three crazy cats:


My husband is allergic to cats, but fortunately isn't allergic to Sphynx! (Some people with cat allergies can tolerate Sphynx, some can't.)

As I type this, the youngest is curled up in my lap, purring away. They are the sweetest, most affectionate cats I've ever met.

Love seeing all the photos of everyone's pets!
 
Here are our three crazy cats:


My husband is allergic to cats, but fortunately isn't allergic to Sphynx! (Some people with cat allergies can tolerate Sphynx, some can't.)

As I type this, the youngest is curled up in my lap, purring away. They are the sweetest, most affectionate cats I've ever met.

I'm happy to exchange and critique essays.  This is my first time applying, however, so I don't know all the ins-and-outs of SOPs.  I'm told I'm a decent writer, however.

As I mentioned before in this thread, all the people I know who were in a rush to get married after university or in their early 20s all ended up getting divorced.  Those who waited longer (I didn't meet my husband until I was 27) have had much more successful marriages.  As others have said, people do grow and change a lot in their 20s.
 
When I was 22, 23, I actually didn't have a boyfriend.  At 22 I was still doing my undergraduate studies (we had grade 13 in Ontario when I went through high school, so I didn't start university until I was 19, since we had to do grade 13 to be able to apply to university studies).  At 23 I was starting my first job, too busy getting settled with that and making new friends to worry about a boyfriend.
 
Enjoy your time in grad school.  Meet new people, socialize as much as you have time for, but don't go in with the mindset that you will meet your future husband.  That will likely not be successful.  If you go in with the mindset that you are open to meeting new people and enjoying grad school as much as you can, you are far more likely to meet someone.  If you meet someone and end up in a longterm relationship, then great.  If not, you still have plenty of time.  Don't try to rush things - that usually don't work.  Let things happen naturally.  Be open to meeting new people and new experiences, but don't try to force or rush anything.

As I mentioned before in this thread, all the people I know who were in a rush to get married after university or in their early 20s all ended up getting divorced.  Those who waited longer (I didn't meet my husband until I was 27) have had much more successful marriages.  As others have said, people do grow and change a lot in their 20s.
 
When I was 22, 23, I actually didn't have a boyfriend.  At 22 I was still doing my undergraduate studies (we had grade 13 in Ontario when I went through high school, so I didn't start university until I was 19, since we had to do grade 13 to be able to apply to university studies).  At 23 I was starting my first job, too busy getting settled with that and making new friends to worry about a boyfriend.
 
Enjoy your time in grad school.  Meet new people, socialize as much as you have time for, but don't go in with the mindset that you will meet your future husband.  That will likely not be successful.  If you go in with the mindset that you are open to meeting new people and enjoying grad school as much as you can, you are far more likely to meet someone.  If you meet someone and end up in a longterm relationship, then great.  If not, you still have plenty of time.  Don't try to rush things - that usually don't work.  Let things happen naturally.  Be open to meeting new people and new experiences, but don't try to force or rush anything.

As I mentioned before in this thread, all the people I know who were in a rush to get married after university or in their early 20s all ended up getting divorced.  Those who waited longer (I didn't meet my husband until I was 27) have had much more successful marriages.  As others have said, people do grow and change a lot in their 20s.
 
When I was 22, 23, I actually didn't have a boyfriend.  At 22 I was still doing my undergraduate studies (we had grade 13 in Ontario when I went through high school, so I didn't start university until I was 19, since we had to do grade 13 to be able to apply to university studies).  At 23 I was starting my first job, too busy getting settled with that and making new friends to worry about a boyfriend.
 
Enjoy your time in grad school.  Meet new people, socialize as much as you have time for, but don't go in with the mindset that you will meet your future husband.  That will likely not be successful.  If you go in with the mindset that you are open to meeting new people and enjoying grad school as much as you can, you are far more likely to meet someone.  If you meet someone and end up in a longterm relationship, then great.  If not, you still have plenty of time.  Don't try to rush things - that usually don't work.  Let things happen naturally.  Be open to meeting new people and new experiences, but don't try to force or rush anything.

I think you realize the point of the "desperately seeking perfection" photo, but are skirting around the true meaning... Don't desperately seek someone; it is incredibly likely you'll be eternally disappointed. I swear guys can smell desperation, and then they run. After my last boyfriend dumped me, I spent about a year trying to fill what I felt was a void. Then I realized I could have lots of fun with just my regular friends doing other things, and I stopped trying to find someone to date so I could focus on my career. Then it was like my boyfriend and a couple of other prospects just appeared. 

Earlier Joeyboy said exactly what I was trying to get you to wrap your mind around with my previous post. Grad school really is about working just yourself. Once you can do that, I think you'll look back at this and think it was silly. You're trying to rush into precisely the things in life that require the maximum patience and time that you can give. You can't rush how someone feels for you and you can't rush your life or you'll end up absolutely miserable. I've been with my boyfriend for three years, and we're not talking marriage, yet. He wants to give me the time to work on becoming the best I can be in graduate school, and get to a point where maybe I can pause for a breath to settle down; he is waiting for me. Is there a chance we'll not work out? Yes, a slim one, but it is a big deal right there that he didn't rush me into marriage. He understands that I need to do this, and that graduate school, though sometimes a little selfish, is about me. Yes, some students in my program are married or engaged, and they're struggling to find time for their spouse (sometimes kids). Those of us that are doing well aren't tied down.

I really think you need to go into your grad program with the expectation of spending two years to work on everything about you. I would probably even suspend the online dating profile. Graduate with a degree in a field that you love, and then maybe move to a new town. Don't force dating, but hang out a local watering holes after work or go fun outdoorsy places. You'll meet someone.

You can't PLAN these things. You have to let go of the desperation and learn to be happy by yourself. You need to be able to be happy even if you NEVER marry and NEVER have kids. If your life is devoid of any meaning without those things, that's your problem right there.  It is way too much pressure for someone to know that YOUR happiness depends entirely on whether they stay with you.
 
Every friend I have who complains about being single seems to have some kind of strict timeline for love and family... marry by age ___, first kid by ___. They have online profiles on every dating site, speed-date, etc., and they are still single because guys  can smell the desperation a mile away.
 
The problem with having timelines and deadlines is that life doesn't work like that. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. I met my now husband while going through a a divorce. I wasn't LOOKING... in fact, I  had "f__k off" figuratively tattooed on my forehead. I  had sworn off marriage, relationships, etc., and pictured myself living with a bunch of cats. We met at a party, and two years later we got married. We were both in our mid 30s at the time.
 
A partner worth having is going to be attracted to someone who is able to stand on their own, who has their crap together, and who doesn't make them the center of their happiness. A partner worth having isn't going to say that they "can picture marrying you" on the third date because one ought to think long and hard before getting married. Take this from someone who married in their late 20s thinking I was doing things "the right way," only to end with a bitter divorce.
 
Talking marriage on the third date should be a red flag because at that time you should still be evaluating whether you want to know that person better over the next month... not the rest of your life. This is especially true when you're only in your early 20s! 
 
Similarly, a person worth having doesn't put you at the center of their world, and isn't willing to settle for the first "Mr./Ms. Maybe" just because of fear of never finding someone else. When you date, each partner is evaluating the other person. Think about what it is you currently have to offer (and I am not talking about looks and what not... think about your life situation) to someone who would actually be worth it. If you are working on a Master's, are you likely to have to move when you finish? Will you really have the time to devote to a relationship? Can you pull your weight financially?
 
Please do yourself a favor and take a mental break from "dating." Stop worrying about meeting someone. Make yourself someone worth having by working on being happy on your own, and when you get there, either you will meet the right person, or it just simply won't matter anymore whether you do. Either way, you need to be happy being alone before you can be ready to make someone else happy.

You don't have to be in a rush looking for your partner. If you're desperately looking for that "someone", someday you might just realize that you did not enjoy your life at all. They key is "happiness". Marriage is not a game you can just easily quit if you like. You need to build a strong foundation for your marriage to be a lasting one. Sadly, couples are more inclined to quit a marriage when problems arise rather than learning how to cope with them and solve them together. Divorce rates are rising, but despite the percentages, there are still some couples who are committed to one another and to making a marriage last.

Love seeing all the photos of everyone's pets!
 
Here are our three crazy cats:


My husband is allergic to cats, but fortunately isn't allergic to Sphynx! (Some people with cat allergies can tolerate Sphynx, some can't.)

As I type this, the youngest is curled up in my lap, purring away. They are the sweetest, most affectionate cats I've ever met.

Love seeing all the photos of everyone's pets!
 
Here are our three crazy cats:


My husband is allergic to cats, but fortunately isn't allergic to Sphynx! (Some people with cat allergies can tolerate Sphynx, some can't.)

As I type this, the youngest is curled up in my lap, purring away. They are the sweetest, most affectionate cats I've ever met.