Eigen

It's a good point. There's also a significant financial benefit to the arrangment. You can get food for two a lot more cheaply than you can for two individual people. And while roommates can take some of the burden off, you'd need to split a 2-room apartment with a roommate, and only a single room apartment with a significant other. Over the past 3 years, I've estimated our combined cost of living to be about 1.3x that of any of our single friends, including food, housing, utilities, etc.

If you notice, that part of my post was responding to hege-money talking about his discussions with acomplished professors and senior graduate students. I'll also add that while it may be discipline dependent, my opinions are coming from lab-based disciplines where it's expected that you'll pull regular 36 hour shifts in the lab, that 60-80 hours in the lab a week is the norm, and you'll be working most weekends, so even with those constraints it's very possible to make relationship work very well.

Buying larger cuts of meat and cutting them down is a great tip- you can do this for all kinds of meat, and it's really not hard to cut them down if you have a decent knife and a bit of practice. Skinless, boneless chicken breasts are expensive- and by contrast, a whole chicken can often be had fairly cheaply. And it doesn't take a lot of time to skin and debone the chicken, and you can keep the scraps and use them to make a really nice broth. If you actually go to a butcher, you can do the same thing with beef- getting a whole ribeye and then cutting it down to steaks yourself can save you 50% or more per pound. Similarly, learning how to cook less common/expensivecuts of meat is also good- things that are generally tougher and harder to cook can still come out great if you know how to marinate and cook them. The other big way I've found to save money is to cook based off of what I can get on sale, rather than trying to buy stuff at the store to fill up particular recipes. We've got a couple of grocery stores around, and I just look up their weekly ads and sales before I go shopping- depending on what meats and vegetables are on sale, I'll decide which stores to go to, what to get each place, as well as what I'll be cooking that week. If bell peppers and eggplant is on sale, I'll probably be making a lot of dishes centering around those. If it's okra and tomatoes, I'll do the same. And usually most stores have a good sale on chicken, pork or beef, but rarely on all three. So being able to cook whatever you can get cheaply is a real boon.

Your best bet would be to ask your academic advisor/dissertation committee. They're most likely to have encountered the issue and have ideas on how to best proceed.

Interestingly enough, if you head over to the CHE forums this is exactly what you will not see represented in opinions there. And the statistics are quite clear that relationships make more successful graduate students, at least in terms of completion. All of the mentors I've had, and continue to have are married, and most have been quite clear about the fact that they think that having and maintaing a relationship and a family is important. No matter how much you love your studies and your work, it should only ever be one facet of your life, and there are lots of examples of very successful academics who make this work. And as to your most recent post, I'll point out that graduate school lasts a few years, while a good relationship will last a great many more than that. I'd definitely take a hit in rankings to make a relationship more of a possibility. It's not like rankings alone determine where you're going to end up long term, anyhow. Over the years, what I've seen make most people drop out of my program has been a combination of stress and depression. And having someone constantly there, supportive, able to talk to you about your work, hear out your ideas and theories, and keep you going is by far the most important factor I can think of in successfully making your way through not only grad school but post-docs, the tenure track, etc. I'm probably an outlier, but I don't think you're too young to make that type of committment. My wife and I got married mid-way through undergrad, we decided we wanted to have made it through a couple of years married before we hit grad school- and I'm very glad we did. It would have made it much more possible to maintain a stable long-distance relationship, and it also made it easier to keep a relationship going through the challenges of the first year of graduate school. As was mentioned, we came up with schools we both were interested in, even though I applied directly and she took a gap year. We decided on a place that was going to work well for both of us, and she applied the next season. Had it been the other way, I'd have happily done the same thing and focussed my efforts on one local school, assuming there was research I could enjoy and people I could work with there.

It should also be noted that this is not the right message board for your question. This is a forum dedicated to graduate school admissions, not college admissions. You would probably be better off elsewhere if you are serious and want help with undergraduate admissions.

I did ramen noodels in undergrad, but I try to avoid them now. I actually find that I've got more flexible time and a larger budget now, so eating well works out OK most of the time. Some of this also depends on what's available to you at work- I've got a mid-sized refrigerator (7 cf) and a microwave in one of our offices, so it's easy to keep stock food as well as bring leftovers. Food is one of the things I try not to budget too stringently, as eating consistently and well is important- there are a lot of other things I'll bare-bone before I significantly cut down on food. Most of the time, I actually go with sandwiches for lunch- a bagel, some avacado/tomato/sprouts/greens and a few slices of red onions is really, really good. Non-lettuce based salads are nice too, I'm a big fan of a cottage cheese, tomato, bell pepper, cucumber and celery salad in the summer when I can get them all fresh, and they also last a day or so from when I make them, so I can take a couple and leave them in the fridge in my office. The rest of the time, I go with leftovers. There are three of us sharing a house, and all of us are pretty decent cooks, so we each try to cook a meal a week- and then we have some leftovers, as well. I can roast a couple of chickens on a Sunday, have them for dinner, slice up the breast meat for sandwiches the next couple of days, shred the dark meat for stir-fries/rice/noodle dishes, and then cook the rest down to make a broth for soup later in the week. Lots of meals for not a lot of money. I do the same thing with pot roast- buy a couple of nice sized roasts when they're half off, cook them on a weekend or early in the week, and then use the meat for sandwiches and the drippings for a nice rich beef broth. I also like doing roasts and roasted chicken because it's a great chance to roast a huge variety of vegetables along with them for the coming week. Pan dishes like Lasagna are also great for taking as leftovers. When eggplant is on sale, I'll slice, salt, drain and then roast eggplant rounds. They reheat surprisingly well, and are actually pretty good cold as well. I'll also direct you to this thread on the CHE forums for several delicious years of backlogged recipe sharing. For breakfasts, I try to come up with something that is easily portable so I can eat it on the way in in the morning- I long ago gave up on trying to get up early enough to cook and eat in the morning. I've finally perfected my scone recipe, so I'll make at least a couple of batches of that during the week, and they're great to grab in the morning for a quick breakfast. A fried egg and a nice slice of havarti or gouda on a toasted bagel also makes a really quick morning breakfast, once you get used to cooking them fast, as does cottage cheese mixed with applesauce.

I would say 12-20 is an abnormally large number for math and physics grad students as well, based on the programs I know. I applied to 3 in Chemistry, and most of the others in my cohort applied to somewhere between 2 and 6. You really want to refine your research interests, and there's no reason applying somewhere you wouldn't really want to go, so you might as well cut schools out before, rather than after, applications.

IIRC, the threshold for owing something is around 18k for a married couple, and around 10-12k for an individual. And, if you've been getting withholding taken out of your paycheck, you'll have paid out part of it already. Good luck with getting your 1098 straightened out.

Not exactly sure how this pertains to the original question, since they aren't really perks.. You got awarded a fellowship one place, and another upped their offer a bit You shouldn't decide on your program based on the financial offers, assuming all are livable amounts based on location.

I get the exemption from SS and Medicare, but I'm more wondering about Federal income tax no way for a school to exempt you of that that i know of. Even if you're getting it withheld, thats no assurance that you don't owe more/have a refund coming your way at the end if the year If you have a TA position and a W2, however, filing is really easy- numbers from the W2, 1098 and a 1099 from your bank and you're set for a 1040 EZ filing. Then you just use the federal adjusted gross income to file your state taxes. As for your original question, you probably just need to go talk to the university accounting office, it sounds like they misfiled your 1098. You can get them to issue you a corected one. Sconce you're a TA, nothing other than the tuition is deductible, and the tuition is a wash with the tuition waiver, so you just file as if the TAship was a normal job, basically..

I find mine is a few hundred off every year, I've never really bothered with it, I assume it's just an accounting error somewhere. When you say you only have to pay state taxes, what do you mean? Any stipend should be taxable for both state and federal income taxes. You didn't mention if you're on an assistantship or a fellowship, but taxes really differ between the two. The former is described as payment for any teaching or research services, from what I recall. The main difference with a fellowship is that it's not reported as income by the school (on a 1098 or W2), usually, but you still have to report it as "other" taxable income at the end of the year. For an assistantship, books aren't deductible. For a fellowship, you can directly deduct the costs of *required* books from the income you're reporting. I've found Turbotax to require a bit of coaxing to get the correct end result sometimes with graduate stipends, which aren't always the most useful situations.

Are you paying university fees out of pocket each semester? Some scholarships cover tuition+fees, some just cover tuition. I'm assuming you're referring to a 1098 form- on mine, for instance, it shows scholarships for about 400 less than what I paid- our tuition waivers don't include fees. Of course, I paid about 1200 in fees... The forms are pretty inconsistent from year to year. Also, make sure you differentiate between scholarships and TA/RAships, they are treated differently for tax purposes. For scholarships, you can directly deduct from the income any portion used on tuition, required fees, or required texts/supplies. So you get a $25k fellowship, you spend 1500 on fees and books, you report an income of 23,500. You can't do the same for TA/RAships, but you can take educational deductions under some cases. For scholarships/fellowships, anything that is required for attending courses at the institution is an allowable deduction- so required books, required tuition, and required fees. Optional fees aren't deductible, nor are optional books, etc. Tuition exemptions are counted as income under circumstances, but mostly they just cancel out with the actual tuition.

Yes. In similar situations, if you were being reimbursed for the visit (instead of the department paying up front), you'd be financially on the hook for the visit, as well. Were it me, I'd personally feel obligated to cover their financial outlay as well, but that's just a personal opinion. They've spent hundreds of dollars (at this point non-refundable) to bring you out. The least you can do at this point is to go visit and give them a fair hearing. I understand your feeling about leading them on, but go and give them a chance. There are lots of people who have ended up at places that weren't initially their top choice.

I do a combination of reading on my computer screen, reading on my laptop, reading on my iPad and reading hardcopies. I download PDFs and organize them all in Endnote/Dropbox, so I have the current editions (including annotations) whatever I'm reading on.

I think asking is fine, but I'd wait until March or April when things have cooled down a little bit- you'll be more likely to get better thought out replies. I'd couch the question as "Can you suggest how I can best go about making myself a more competitive applicant next year?" Often, the committee won't have a distinct "reason" for rejecting you.

Again, I'll disagree with the approach- by stipulating that the major factor is finances, you're implying that the pay is more important than the program, the research, the facilities, etc. And that's a bad way to start things off. If there's some really defined reason that you can't live off of what's being offered, then there might be a tactful way to bring it up, but otherwise tread carefully in how you come across.

Most schools have competitive offers relative to their cost of living, in my experience. That said, I've also found there's very little room for negotiating the actual stipend- our department, for instance, requires that all stipends be equal for the same task (TA, RA) to keep things "equitable". The flexibility comes in the use of smaller fellowships, moving allowances, and intangibles- maybe they'll offer you a computer, etc. Granted, this is all for the sciences- I think things will be somewhat different in the social sciences/humanities, but I didn't see you mention which you were. Length of funding is definitely a concern- several schools gave me short initial offers, but made promises that they would find me another source of funding when that ran out (ie, 2-year university fellowship, but that they would definitely transfer me to an RA after that). I would advise against the "School A is offering me so much, can you match it?" line of negotiations. Most schools have set their stipends at what they can afford/what they feel is reasonable to live on. And there's a strong sense that a stipend is supposed to be a just-comfortable wage, not something you're making bank on. Even places that are aggressivley recruiting someone probably won't respond well to this tact, since you're ostensably supposed to be caring about the academics, not seeing who's giving you the most money. I've heard (through the grapevine) of schools completely rescinding offers to some students who tried similar approaches in my discipline.

I think the scales have shifted since the earlier tests, as well.

Not so much a thank-you letter, but it would be nice to send a note mentioning how much you enjoyed getting the chance to discuss your research/their research, etc.

My wife came with me to visit all three of the schools I went to, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. She explored the city during the day when I was meeting with professors and such, but for the evening meals (usually with professors), she was consistently invited. For all of those meals, the PIs I was eating with brought their spouses/SOs, and it was a nice chance to meet them as well. Honestly, bringing her along was a lot of fun for both of us, and I got to see a very different side of the departments faculty than some of my peers who came solo. It was nice to start off knowing my PIs wife, and for the two of them to have met mine as well. I'm sure there are some people who might look down on it, but I honestly wouldn't want to work at those places. I'm married, and my wife will be coming along to do things with me- it was an important part of my criteria to see how people reacted to that. For the places I had to fly, the department simply didn't reimburse me for her flight. They were happy to pay for her meals places when we went out, however, and obviously the hotel room was covered. I wouldn't bring your wife with you to the actual campus part of the visit, but I'm sure she'll have fun exploring the campus, the area around the campus, etc. One place we visited, the department set my wife up some parallel interviews in her prospective department, to get a chance to meet people. She was taking a gap year and applying after, but it was still a good chance for her to get a feel for the department, some of the faculty, and the facilities, so if your wife will also be potentially applying, that's a possibility. From my current perspective, we've had several visiting students bring their wives/SOs, and it's been nice to get a chance to meet them. We usually do lunches with other grad students (we don't see them then), but lately I've been organizing groups to go out later in the evening, after dinner with the PIs, and they've always come along then and been welcome. Just my experiences.

"I got a form letter inviting me to an interview, but I can't help but think there's some subtext behind it.... Help me figure out what it *really* means!" "I e-mailed one of my PoIs nearly 2 hours ago, and I saw that they've updated something on their website in between now and then! How rude that they didn't respond to me first!"

I noticed StrangeLight mentioning some really cool stuff in the "Favorite Pen" thread, and I thought we could use a branched-off thread for all that other favorite stuff that we carry. Cool ideas are bound to pop up! As Strangelight, I have two types of carry- with and without a bag. I have an office, desk and computer in my lab, so I don't need to bring everything with me every time I come in to work. What I always carry is my iPod Touch (my iPhone equivalent), cell phone, wallet+small moleskin, and several key rings (our building subdivides everything). On the utility key ring, I've got a department-issue bottle opener, and one of the really small SOG keychain knives. I also always have a large, insulated Klean Kanteen for coffee, etc., and several pens stuck various places on my person (I'm a huge fan of the Sharpie pen's at the moment). For more involved carry, I've got one of the mid-sized Chrome messenger bags, with a Moleskin A4 Folio (for all the papers I'm working on hard-copies of), a Moleskin A4 notebook (for keeping track of ideas, plans, future research thoughts, etc., and a smaller Moleskin reporter notebook for notes in seminars and such. About half the time I've got an iPad in there as well, and sometimes my Macbook Air, if I'm going somewhere with plans to write. So what's your EDC? What bag do you really like, what things do you always want to have at hand? Give the rest of us good ideas!

I was going to say social scientist, personally. The observation and probing isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does serve to make one more of an outsider than a part of the community.

I think my frustration with the posting habits can best be described by a post from the CHE forums: I find that InquilineKea asks a lot of rambling, vague questions, often posted in a row, but there's rarely a lot of *substance* in the questions. Discussion boards are about just that, discussion... And the best way to start discussion is to actually put something into the starting question. For instance, your post starting this thread was simply two back-to-back questions, with nothing else. If you had, instead, taken the time to give your perspective and insight onto the issue (say, issues surrounding vegetarian/vegan eating in your current city/area), then you would have started a discussion by providing some information. Even most of your replies are only direct responses to the points posed by others, you rarely seem to expound them into points that you are generating or providing as counter-examples. It comes across like, instead of belonging to this community, you're standing outside and studying it via asking series of questions and recording the responses. I'll also say I find it a bit frustrating when you revive threads that are more than a year old to add nothing other than "good point". If you're adding something of substance, that's different, but what you're doing is really just "bumping" the thread up in the forums. I know other people don't mind the bumping of old threads, but for me that discussion happened a year ago. If you want to start a new discussion on the same topic, then that's nice too- and it provides two different but parallel discussions for people to look at, each of which captures (possibly) different perspectives by the same people.