jujubea

I just got married too.... I feel ya

ah! We're a one car family now too The whole fam (three kids) moved out here for me, so our pick of living location was limited to where we could afford to buy a home that also had good public schools. Otherwise my hub and I would just be in a little grad apartment on campus!

Classes don't start for another month for me, but I've already been advised by a couple professors that my foreign language skills aren't quite up to snuff, so I'm trying to study that a bit - on top of trying to pre-read for a class that is generally taken second year, so that I can at least understand what's being said in the class. My wedding, honeymoon, first-time home purchase, and extremely rough family issues are behind me, so that feels good. I'm kind of chomping at the bit to get started at school. My commute will be an hour+ and I'll be doing it on a motorcycle, so I'm going to have to start (woe is me) getting my endurance up to handle sustained 70mph winds at my body for two hours every day.... But I am SO HAPPY to have a moto to commute with I am registered for classes, only taking three this quarter (supposedly the normal load?), and beefing up my foreign language on my own as an unofficial "fourth class". I already met all my cohort at the visit day, with the exception of one or two people. We are a class of about 7 I believe. I really like two of the people in particular that I met (they were all cool) and I've been in touch with both of them over the summer, so that feels good, especially because we'll be in the same foundation classes all year. I have wide interests and I'm worried I'll get pigeonholed early on (by influential faculty) into a specialty that I don't want. My likely adviser (they don't get officially assigned til the second year) pretty apparently opposes one of the emphases that I want to pursue, and I'm nervous about navigating office politics already... Overall super eager to get started though!!!

whoaaaa..... ...I want one.....

hmmm that's neat! Are your notes searchable with that type of pen?

In a previous life, I was working full time, and taking 3 graduate classes per quarter (although the average full-time student there took 4). I was single at the time, and had no pets, and no friends outside of work (which was OK for me then). At it's hardest, I would get to work around 7 or 8, go to class on any given day for three hours at some point (which my bosses OK'd), and stay at work until about 6 or 7pm. I ate breakfast and lunch at work, usually while working, and occasionally dinner, too. Then I'd go home and read and write for anywhere between 1 and 4 hours. Sometimes I'd pull overnights, but only because of procrastination. On top of it, I somehow managed to fit in 2-3 evenings of a martial arts class every week, and attended an every-other-weekend club. That said, I was NOT healthy. I started getting ill more and more frequently, and more and more seriously. I was very stressed out, and it manifested as resentment towards some of my bosses and coworkers at the time (I was in my early 20's, and unaware of all this then). I was (am?) also an incredibly ridiculously ambitious person, to the point that other things are significantly sacrificed. At that time in my life, it was my health. Now that I am entering a new graduate program (MA/PhD), I not only have my own health to be vigilant over, but also the health of my family, each of my kids, and my two pets. While having no teaching requirements, I plan to take odd side jobs only within my freelance profession. I wouldn't work more than 20 hours per week now, and that would be really taxing for me. A lot of it depends on your age and situation; how much you enjoy pushing yourself; what other things you'd like to do outside of work and school, if anything; and whether you can "afford" pushing yourself that hard for an extended period of time.

I am curious about this, too. I have some t-shirts I am considering getting creative with, like throwing a blazer over the top and wearing nice jeans or slacks. I see a lot of men get away with this look... Why can't us ladies? I use Passion Planner, which is awesome if you want to get your butt in gear with meeting some goals. I haven't yet started my program though, and I am not sure how it's going to hold up for the types of things I'm going to need to write down. I also use Google Calendar for really important events or events that have really specific times, so that I don't forget. BACKPACKS: On a separate note, I am so glad this thread is here just so I can shine about the new backpack I got from Staples. It was crazy cheap, and is neon yellow. I've been looking for a neon backpack with decent quality, padding, and laptop compartment, since I'll be commuting 50 miles each way on a motorcycle to school every day. Staples apparently makes their own line of backpacks, designed by students. Admittedly, the quality does not seem too great, but definitely leaps beyond Jansport's basic bag which ridiculously goes for $50+ everywhere. NOTEBOOKS: I was wondering, do people still use hand-written notebooks frequently? It seems like laptops are how everyone would take notes, but I really like hand writing things out, especially while I'm reading books. Is it not prudent to write this all down like that? I'm worried I'll be frustrated that my notes aren't searchable... CLOTHES: How casual is it acceptable for grad students to dress while they're in class as a student? (Maybe wrong thread for this last q...)

You do get a 30-day window. Is your interview within 30 days of the start date? Also, who at your university agreed to defer your program? I would try to at least get a letter or even an email from them - just something - that shows the new start date. Otherwise, you may be 221g'd for a new/updated I-20. Good luck.

I think a peer is generally not a good candidate for LOR writing, although I don't know about your field specifically. Do they supervise you or mentor you at all? You could at least call them that instead of "co-worker." Also, you can do better on your GRE scores. I see a lot of 298 and 300 combined total cut-offs in the humanities. Check for cut-off scores in your programs. Good luck! You can do it!

I really really really second this (or third it, actually). I know it might seem like there is some rush to keep going right on, but believe me, there isn't. Even if what you do in the meantime is not directly related to your field, it will give you valuable experience, and unpressured time to explore your field on your own. Your brain is still developing, so is your world view - let it gel a bit, stretch a bit, explore a bit, and re-gel, and I would bet your ideas will become much clearer. Same thing, if you feel you must now go to grad school, apply only at Master's level. From what I understand from my own grad circles, and the folks on this forum, is that having a focus when applying at PhD level is essential. BUT, just because you don't have one yet, is not necessarily a bad thing - it just means you're not quite at the stage to apply. You will be, but just be patient with yourself and give it time. In fact, knowing right now that you want to go to grad school, but aren't sure in what, gives you an advantage as you go work for a couple years. That way, you'll be able to seek out jobs that are at least tangentially related, and you'll be able to say on your applications that you've been planning to go to grad school all along, but were (wisely) waiting until the time was right. No shame in that, no harm in that, and everyone in the end will be better off!

I second Takeru's suggested approach. I more or less did the same thing, except admittedly I was probably a bit too forward or forthcoming in the very first e-mail. I wrote quite long initial e-mails... But then, I also had done a lot of research on schools and professors, and was very clear about who I wanted to work with and why. As such, I let that shine through in my opening inquiry (without saying it outright). Although this was not actually some master plan I had (I wasn't yet frequently frequenting GradCafe, nor had I even bothered asking my own circle about appropriate protocol), I do think it worked out pretty well - luckily - because on at least one occasion, the professor's first response included something along the lines of, "If you could take the time to craft such a detailed and thoughtful e-mail, I am sure you will do just fine here." So, let your true passion and interests and intention come through

I'm so glad I'm not 19 anymore. It is so hard to understand how you over-analyze and overthink and have extremely hazy views about the behaviors of those whom you "love." This isn't love. He isn't interested in you. And this specific action sounds narcissistic and rude (Or could indicate that). You do not (and no one does) deserve to be treated disrespectfully. You will empower yourself and feel stronger and more desirable (and will be) if you just cut off all communication with him and "walk away." Also, consider this a huge huge HUGE bump of the post with the advice about "chronological first" vs. "real-love first." Your "real" first in this sense will be so much better, and you'll both laugh and cry about your chrono first. Hopefully with a loving, caring, and committed partner at your side. When I was a bit younger than you, I had a similar "relationship" with a guy, who I was basically in love with, and I found out he had a bet going with his friends about whether he could de-virginize me. Fortunately I found out before it ever got there. While you're this young, stay away from age gaps of more than a few years. Those who are jerks are also more clever with age. It's a dangerous game and not worth it, especially when you're an emotionally-attuned person.

I continue to love this thread! Please tell us more!

It's funny I was just researching this yesterday... I'm a professional editor and I had a disagreement with a client about whether it's OK to split infinitives (my side: it is!). Turns out, splitting infinitives has NOT been considered a no-no by many (most?) major style guides for several generations now (and some never even adopted it at all). It appears to have been a "fad" of sorts a few centuries ago, to make splitting infinitives incorrect... Nonetheless, some insist on weeding them out, so long as you can salvage the original sentence. As for me, I like to boldly ignore them.

Oh this is a good idea. I wish you'd posted it in the general forums instead of chem-specific! Following!

Good luck!

It's not a big deal. Let the visa officer know during the interview that you made a mistake. They will also see your letter of funding right away (make sure to bring that to the interview!). Usually applicants are made to refill out the DS160 if the mistake is something like your name, DOB, addresses, and other numbers or critical information. The "who's paying" question is more for helping us guide the interview. I saw a lot of people put the wrong answer there, and where I worked, we did not send applicants back for that alone (unless it was a lie, for example if you say your rich uncle is paying for everything, and there is no such rich uncle, etc). Good luck!

Oh I missed the SO factor. Having done an inter national LDR... I highly recommend weighting that factor considerably. Makes a big diff in quality of life!

For what it's worth, the FS will not be concerned whether your degree came from Georgetown or DU. I'd go wherever would give you the best quality of life overall, cuz there's no telling what you'll get in the FS Also, you will do home tours in DC with the FS... however that might factor in to your decision-making. -former FSO And congratulations on being a top applicant, and being accepted to both schools period!

Oh, I can't freaking WAIT. I am trying to fill my time up with new clients (anyone need an editor?!!!) over the summer. And thank heavens I am getting married and honeymooning and moving during this time as well. I've picked up a couple syllabi for classes I will be taking in the fall and have started picking up readings slowly. Also, I need to have reading proficiency in French to advance to PhD from Master's level, so I'm trying to teach myself French right now too. Fill, fill, fill my brain...

Thanks, done. Can you post a link when the paper comes out?

See PM

Yes, feel free to ask. I'll also resend sometime this week!

Well, put it this way, even if your department pays you X amount of money, if you had some catastrophic event that landed you in the hospital where you racked up a $10k bill, who would pay for that? The question is really, at the end of the day, if you were in the hole financially, who would make sure you could pay your U.S. bills off and fly back to your home country? If you're wealthy, it's yourself. If your parents or other family (a rich uncle?), then put that. If the school is actually taking you on as a liability to enter the US (which, with an I-20 in hand, is arguably the case), then you'd put the school. In any case, you aren't going to be denied your visa if what you put there is true, but not quite correct. I would put "self" if I were in your shoes, for the reasoning you explained above, and then when the visa officer asks (or if) about money, just explain. Worst case is you get a grumpy VO who wants absolute precision and they make you re-fill out the DS-160. As long as it's not a lie, you're fine - don't worry! source: I'm a former VO.

Good luck. It sounds like you're doing the right thing! And congratulations on the awesome offer