snorri

Human: no, I'm not upset that she compliments my fashion sense. There was a bit more to my post than that.

IIRC, the data on rec letters said that different language was used but not that the letter was any less enthusiastic for a female versus a male. And also, if you're thinking about jobs, it's worth noting that lots of jobs require 3 letters, not just 1, so there would be more than one description of you and your work for the committee to consider.
 
At any rate, yes, you should take notes and eventually address this. You may want to consult with the appropriate staff on campus, confidentially, so that you are appraised of your rights and also her responsibilities as a faculty member. Someone in student affairs should be able to point you in the right direction. Also, you may want to reach out to other, more senior grad students, if you feel comfortable doing so, to see if their experiences corroborate yours.

I have encountered some such treatment, but nothing nearly as systematic as you describe. I am a very direct person so when it happens, if it's coming from someone who I depend on (e.g. a committee member who is writing me letters of recommendation for job applications--a real example from last semester), I confront them about it. I also post about these things on facebook, where I have a lot of linguist friends, and this has led to several interesting discussions lately. I can't say I recommend this approach to everyone and for every transgression, but I think the only way to change the behavior is the make the person doing it aware of the actions. Based on what you say, your advisor will be aware of the consequences, too.  I'm sure other more diplomatic posters will come later and be able to help with how to go about the conversation. My best attempt would be to spend some time collecting data (things that were said, when, comparison with male colleagues in similar situations), and then just have the difficult discussion once, when you have a long meeting that you know should be uninterrupted. If you can do it in response to something she says that is a gendered comment, that's probably the best way to begin the conversation.
 
 
The reason I think it's important to make sure your advisor is aware of this issue is that if you are having gendered interactions with her, I fear that they may also affect any letters of recommendation you will need to get from her when you graduate. It's well known that there is an implicit bias in letters (adjectives used, force of the letter, etc.). It's hard to avoid even when the writer and readers are aware of the problem, and even more so when it goes unnoticed. I'm sure your advisor doesn't mean to have these interactions! Anecdotally, on this point, a professor who is a facebook friend of mine recently had a discussion on her wall about letters for male vs. female applicants to graduate school. Apparently, "bright," "bubbly," and "the total package" were only used for women, and did not make a good impression on the professors who were reading the letters. The most interesting part is just how unnoticed these things go by both writers and readers. It can be completely unintentional, and the writers are well-meaning people who want their female students to succeed. And yet, it has a negative effect on the readers, and hence the students' chances of admissions. 

Human: no, I'm not upset that she compliments my fashion sense. There was a bit more to my post than that.

face plant

I do really care about who gets rejected because it's something that I don't want anyone going through. I'm one of those highly sensitive people who don't like seeing others in pain and instead wish I could take it from them. I especially think about "what if that happens to me" type of thing and believe that karmic retribution might be paid one way or another. I'm actually glad to hear that so many people in this forum are actually empathetic to what others are going through. It truly makes it a comforting community.

I care too. I see my friends agonizing over the wait, and very much wish them get admits already. Same goes for all fellow applicants, even though most are strangers.

I care as well. We've all been suffering.

I care.

This post is in response to the person who was asking about UCI on the results page. So, I did make some major changes in my application from last year to this year, and I am having some great results - I have been accepted into three schools with full funding (rejected from 5). Two of the schools that accepted me this year rejected me last year - there is hope for all of you who are going to try again!

So here is my background - my undergraduate degree is in journalism from a Cal State and my GPA from back then is terrible. My masters is in English from a small liberal arts college and my GPA from there is fine (3.91). When I was applying last year, I had finished my masters but was still taking language classes - I was in my second year of Spanish and my first year of French. My focus is Latin American literature and politics as well as West African lit. The first thing I did was contact my top choice schools and ask them if they could give me any advice on how to improve my application. Two of them responded - one saying she couldn't speak to my application specifically but giving me some general advice. The other was very specific, listing items from the committee notes about my application. The first major concern was, not surprisingly, my language level. Next, there was concern that my undergraduate GPA was so low. Lastly, she said my SOP and my writing sample didn't reflect a strong enough theoretical focus for their particular program. So, I went back to school full time to get a second BA in Spanish, which I will finish at the end of this year. I also will finish up second-year French this year. My second BA GPA is MUCH higher (although not perfect by any means - language classes are hard!). I can read and write fluently in Spanish now, which, as I should have realized during my first application season, is pretty important. In addition to the language stuff, I spent the summer researching for a new writing sample. I contacted a professor in the history department who I thought might be interested in my topic and took a class with him in the fall. He was extremely helpful in guiding me through writing a new paper. Also, after writing that paper, I was able to articulate more clearly in my SOP what my interests are and what I would like to focus on as a Ph.D student.

Also, I applied very widely this year. One thing I didn't do that I should have, if only to save money by narrowing down my application pool, is contact professors whom I wanted to work with. If the professor responded that he/she isn't taking new students in my area, I could have eliminated some of the schools I applied to right off the bat. In my SOP, I always mentioned a professor I wanted to work with, and often tried to mention two or three. I tried to be specific about that professor's work and why I find it interesting according to my own areas of focus. I think that was a good method because out of my three acceptances, I was notified for two of them directly from the person I mentioned in my SOP. My partner, who is applying to English programs, has three acceptances as well, and was also notified by his PO for two of them. Of course, the rejects could be due to my Person of Interest being not-so-interested in me! That's why I should have contacted them ahead of time.

Anyway, sorry to have given you my whole life story. Apparently I like to hear myself talk (or type). I hope this is helpful to you in some way, and GOOD LUCK next year!!!

And yet, seadub, you appear to feel perfectly justified in accusing the OP of using his/her medical condition as an excuse.

And yet, seadub, you appear to feel perfectly justified in accusing the OP of using his/her medical condition as an excuse.

Oh and don't take that personally or start crying. That was a baguette of sarcasm coated with a dusting of powdered sugar humor. (I'm from the UK so our humor is a bit more insensitive than you might be used to.)

Eh, how about enough with the back and forth. As far as your super craptacular GRE score. Maybe grad school, or just school isn't for you. I'm not saying you are as dumb as a bag of hammers, but your brain may just be telling you it's had it with the input function. So why not try something else? If I were you I'd load up on Adderall or Ritalin and try again. I'm not dispensing medical mumbo jumbo and I'm not legally responsible for any action you take. I'm just saying what I would do if I had your condition where . . . .was that a rabbit?! . . . you just can't focus on anything for more than. . . .I swear I saw a rabbi!. . . a few seconds.

Good luck buddy:lol:

I gotta go with MedManiac on this one Seadouche, since you know he is presenting logical and coherent reasoning to not diagnose but present some possibilities that might be affecting slee. With these vehement responses that you put out are you really a potential grad student or a lobbyist for ETS? And by the way still waiting on the speechless thing.

You really need to lay off. Your personal attacks are unfounded and uncalled for. I'm not diagnosing or insinuating anything about anyone. I was merely acknowledging that there could potentially be underlying conditions that you absolutely refuse to acknowledge could even be a possibility for anyone to have. Your attitude sucks, and your responses are a pathetic attempt to make everyone else look bad, foolish, or not credible. Furthermore, even if I were insinuating something about another person (I never did) you outright call people unfounded and horrific names. You lash out with absolutely no regard for anyone but yourself and what you think and how you feel. You are not the only person in the world with the answers, or even with an answer, to all of the problems associated with the GRE. You really just need to get over yourself, little troll.

Also, can you please tell all of us what schools you have applied to or what schools you have been accepted to, so we can be sure not to go there for fear of ever meeting someone as narrow minded and trivial as you in real life?

And before you lash back at me telling me I'm the one insinuating things and saying offensive things about you without thinking first - don't bother. I have veeeeery carefully considered what I have to say in this post prior to posting - but frankly, I'm fed up with your Holier-Than-Thou tone, your condescending and borderline manic responses to all and sundry, and your overall attitude about the GRE and everything related to this board.

I'm sorry, but really - I think you suck. At least in cyberland. Maybe in real life I'd think you were a great person, but I sure don't feel like finding out.

Don't take this personally, it actually is intended lightheartedly/ jokingly, but REALLY.....

SOM - you're wrong because seadub says you're wrong, and this person apparently knows everything about the GRE and how it is used as a judgment tool at every program in the United States of America - just ask. Haven't you been paying any attention to his or her posties all over this board? How dare you attempt to bring real-world experiences into your explanation for why you believe what you believe about the GRE. Reality has nothing to do with it. It's all about the statistics reported on the internet and in the GRE prep manuals.

Actually, you were not accepted at Duke with your scores, even though you say you were, because Seadub says your score is too low to have gotten in. You actually hallucinated your experiences...

And personal attacks? Ha, ha, hehehehehe. You haven't yet been the recipient of this person's really personal attacks. But if you keep trying to make him or her see reason or accept that his or her view is not "THE" right view, I'm sure you will.


I suggest the "ignore" button.... :rolleyes:

The strong language that you used to characterize the motivations of those applying to graduate school lacked any nuance and came across -- to me anyway -- as advocating a "might as well" approach to graduate school. Admittedly, I was not particularly inclined to give your post a charitable read, because to me your comments reeked of the same "I mean, I like books and being in school, so I should probably go to graduate school" that I hear from a lot of people at the well-ranked program that I currently attend. We'll see where I end up next year after this round of applications.



This in no way came across in your earlier post.



Graduate programs -- at least when you go from an undergraduate degree into a grad program -- don't actually expect you to be hyper-specialized and focused when you apply. The best personal statements that I have read (and that admissions committee types have told me are the best) are ones that demonstrate aptitude in the intellectual bildung that they provide as well a projection toward some degree of direction, a gesture toward specificity that is not, by any means, locked in. Indeed, showing too certain a trajectory by claiming that you know exactly what your dissertation will look like is a decidedly bad move.




Yes, there is plenty of unsatisfactory scholarship in the humanities -- just as there is plenty of garbage science -- but most in academia can ascertain whose work is solid and whose isn't. Yes, scholars produce scholarship of varying degrees of quality. Yes, there, of course, are problems in academia with people who don't know anything outside of their niche, but I would ask, what is it that you expect out of humanist scholarship? The arguments of Porty and Menand are provocative and in many ways right, but they both (I would say) presuppose the necessity of the academy for doing certain types of work, but seek to identify problems within it.



The way that you proceeded in your first post distinguished between being "intellectual" and having "research interests" in the context of pursuing graduate education. I gather now that you didn't want to posit a mutually exclusive dichotomy, but the way that you seemed to do so before led me quite naturally to the conclusion that your definition of "intellectual" was of the wishy-washy type.



I'd say that more than 3 minutes is probably too long to spend on anything written for a message board!

This may seem trite, but I have to always remind myself that the outcome is going to be the same whether I panic or not. The apps are out of my hands, and it's normal to feel anxious, but letting my nerves shatter isn't going to help me.

Like others, this is my second time applying. The wonderful thing about applying for graduate study is that it means I'm opening myself to the possibilities of a different kind of life. And that realization turned the "what-if" game into a positive.
What if you don't get into graduate school? It won't be the end of the world, and it doesn't have to be a miserable year while you reapply. Try to do something you love. If you can't do that, try to do something you don't hate. Learn a new language. Submit papers for conferences. Make contacts. Join the FBI. Join the French Foreign Legion. Join a rock band. Travel; volunteer; eat cake for breakfast. Make your journey interesting, and you'll become an even more interesting candidate next time.

I like the bitter and childish remarks - good for a laugh, and a lot more fun to look at then page upon page of "accepted" or "rejected." Adds a little life and humanity. Sometimes I actually cruise the results page just to read those notes.

And all those "your school sucks anyway" remarks - that's called sour grapes. Of course they wanted to get in. They applied, paid the application fee, waited for months, got the rejection, and posted it online, and bitched and moaned in the comments box. C'mon, let em have a moment of anonymous self pity.

If you don't want to read them, then ... don't.

Their pride has just been hurt. It's a coping/defense mechanism. That's all.
And I think some of those comments are laced with sarcasm... or are just for laughs.

Is it really necessary to leave bitter and childish remarks on the results page when you find out you've been rejected?

I seriously want to know why people do this. Are these people who believe they are such hot shots that they deserve admission to every top program? You're going to get rejects, so deal with it like an adult,

Honestly, depending on what your name is/if it's a common mistake. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I have a first name that everybody spells wrong, it's a fairly common name but with an unusual spelling. Not only did one of my LOR writers misspell my name, but an acceptance letter from a DGS did!!! I can't decide if I should tell the school or not...

Seriously, I think if the content is personalized and shows that your LOR writer believes in you even if he/she doesn't know your last name, I wouldn't worry about it. It happens, adcomms are human too.

...please, please know that it is not the end of the world even if that does happen.

I am the who everyone thought would get in the first time and didn't after being wait listed at two programs. I got a job in my field and reapplied 2 years later, and same deal - wait list but no acceptance. It was crushing. I was mortified that I'd had to ask my mentors for letters twice and still hadn't gotten in. My family was supportive but obviously shared my disappointment. It sucked, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for a few weeks after, but I picked myself up eventually and moved on.

I worked on publishing data. I was able to expand my skill set at my job, and pick up another mentor in the process. I applied again, this time to three times as many programs, of course spending three times as much money. I had to get special permission from one program to apply for a third time which made me feel like a big loser. I braced myself for not getting in anywhere and possibly changing careers.

Yesterday one of my programs emailed me. As I read the subject line my stomach dropped: my first rejection, here we go again.

And I was wrong. It was an acceptance with full funding from a school I'd visited and loved.

I got to do the jumping around screaming happy dance and got to hear how excited my parents were when I called to let them know. And I've gotten to re live the excitement every time I tell another co worker, friend, or family member *especially* the ones who know my history and how hard I've worked.

And the amount of satisfaction and relief I've felt in the past 36 hours outweighs the three YEARS where I was either applying or in between application periods, wondering if I was ever going to make it in my field. Wondering why I had such crap luck, applying last year as the economy fell apart, constantly wait listed but never chosen.

So whatever happens for you this year...if it's your first, second, third, fourth round or greater, just remember that it does not make you a loser, it is not a reason to give up, and if you keep at it it WILL happen for you.

Ugh, I hate that. The worst is when my profs do it! Those old dinosaurs haven't left their offices in our tiny crappy university and have no clue what grad school admission is like in the 21st century. They still think it's the seventies.