Medievalmaniac

I am not going to lie to you - I definitely already thought about selling my eggs....but, I mean, I'm now 35 years old, and so are they... Still - my kids are really freakin cute and SMART...lol 'Course, I can only take credit for half of that! lol I already have a line in to DC community college for adjunct work and am going to flood the other community colleges in the area with my CV. I also already have a place to stay, free of charge, during the week. But my husband is being "supportive but not supportive" now. He doesn't think we can do it, and as long as I present him with a workable course of action he will be OK with it...but every other night, we are fighting about the money side of it. I'm so tired. Last night I fell asleep trying to grade final exams, which are due this morning at 8 a.m. I think I am starting to fall into depression- depressed because I am accepted to a program I actually would like to attend. That's a new one. It's not like I don't know how hard this is going to be. He keeps haring on the money and how the kids need me and he wants me around in his life. The girls are 5 and 3. They are going to NEED me in about two years when the 5 almost 6 year old is a tween. And I'm not abandoning them, I would be home Friday afternoon through Monday afternoon, every weekend, plus holidays and summers. For two stupid years. The killer of all of this is, if it were him and the roles were reversed, I would not bat an eye. I'd just say "yes, let's go." He keeps talking about how much the schools here suck, etc. etc. He's a journalist. If he really wanted to, if he weren't afraid, he'd totally move to DC and take a shot at things up there with me. Instead he wants to stay here and he really REALLY wants me to say "You know, honey, never mind. The degree never really meant all that much to me anyway. I'll just settle for this, relinquish my dreams, and grow old with you." But I'll never say that. And if this falls through, I won't hate him, but I think I may well despise myself - and is that any better? And I'm tired of other people saying "Well you should have thought of that before having kids". I DID. This is the perfect window to go for broke in their lives, too. there are people all over this country, all over the civilized world, who do this and make it work. GAH. I'm rambling - off to get coffee.

Thank you! I've looked into all of them and, unfortunately, the deadlines have passed. BUT, there is definitely at least one that fully pertains to my situation (the ISI fellowship) and to which I will totally make application next year. In the meanwhile...hmmmmm, what the heck can I sell to pay off the credit cards, anyhow? :huh::huh:

The final drops of coffee being poured out of the urn in the teacher's lounge up on the hill. DARN! I wanted some of that...oh well.

Anybody heard anything from Columbia yet....?

Hey, Gang - OK, so look: I'm laying this one on the line, because it's my best shot. Many of you already know my story, or part of it: I graduated from William & Mary w/a degree in French & Education in 1997, went into grad school for interdisciplinary French/medieval studies at American and Catholic U's (consortium) in 1999, went through an ugly, stalker-y separation and divorce from "Mr. Right" and had to put my dream of finishing grad school on hold (at that time, I thought, forever). Ended up turning it all around, teaching, getting married, having a daughter, and finally, having the chance to go back to school in 2006, BUT they wouldn't take my transfer credits because I applied a few months after the 5 year cut off (yes: MONTHS - that still upsets me a little...lol) Worked full time, parenting, while going to school. Gave birth to my second daughter mid-semester, took the week of the actual birth off, came back the following Monday, and never missed another class. Straight As as a master's student, despite teaching 6 classes a term, five terms a year, at a year-round school. I have already taken 17 MA level courses - two short of the required number for most doctoral programs. I've presented papers at 8 conferences, 7 of them medieval, and published quite a bit. One of those papers, I gave at the International Medieval Congress, on the day of my graduation from my Master's Program...in honor of my Father, who had passed away from Stage 4 prostate cancer the weekend prior. In short, I am a medievalist, and I have what it takes to get this stupid PhD. I have absolutely paid, paid, paid my dues. Wow, I'm exhausted just reading that...lol So, here's the deal: it looks like neither of the schools within driving distance of my home is going to come through for me - already rejected at UNC, implicitly so at UVA. My family can't move because of the economy and housing market, and because my husband is the managing editor of a local paper and noooot likely to get as good a job in journalism anywhere else right now. BUT - I am sitting on an admit, to go to Catholic University, and to study dragons in literature with Lilla Kopar. It's five hours from here to Washington, D.C. We're talking four semesters of coursework to get to ABD status from where I am now with my MA coursework in hand. I can't let that go. I can't let my dream die. FOUR SEMESTERS to ABD, and then I can write my dissertation from anywhere. I would have to walk away from a $49,000.00 / year job to attend Catholic, and it would have to be a commuter marriage, with me going up to DC Monday afternoons, staying through Friday morning, and back for the weekend. Plus all breaks and holidays, of course. That's 17 weeks a semester, 4 semesters. After all I have been through - that seems a pittance to pay to get that much closer to the dream that should have died a decade ago. I believe in Fate and Provenance, so if you are a realist this post is not really for you - here's the deal: As an undergrad I actually started at Longwood, then transferred to William and Mary midway through. Only to come back to Longwood to COMPLETE the Master's degree. Now, as a possible doctoral student, I am admitted to Catholic, a school where I began my master's work - I believe this is to bring me full circle and to complete the PhD. Call me Dr. Spooky - but I don't think this is an accident in my life. I think I'm supposed to finish what I began. SO - here's where you come in. My husband is not against my doing this, he actually supports me - but only if I can assure him that we can make it financially. I know Catholic will give me some assistance, but they are not going to make up the $49,000. And as I'm working full time and overtime trying to make extra cash to pay down debt, I don't have the time to properly research this, even though it is mine to do. So what I need is to ask for an audacious thing from you all - I need to ask you to throw at me everything you've got in terms of suggestions for financial aid for English PhDs - grants and so forth, I'm already piled in student loans - to cover about $30,000 for two years. I figure, a couple hundred heads are better than one... Please help me get there!!!!! I swear, I'll pay you back with every collegial assistance I am capable of providing when we are all professors on tenure track, including outside LORs for your file, invites to panels for conferences - whatever I have to throw in your direction. I believe in pay it forward, as much as I believe in Fate...so, that's it. I've laid it out there. Trust me, it takes a lot of courage and determination (and desperation and blind faith) to be willing to post something like this in a public forum...please help me out!!

I am a big fan of Geoffrey Chaucer's lynes of pick up, on same blog: GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE: -Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause thou lookst “fyne.” -Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular. -Ich do deuote myn diligence to studye of the anatomie of engendrure. Ich haue happed vpon an abstruse passage in the werke of Constantyne the Affrikan De Coitu, the which I kan nat construe. For lernynges sake and the goode of wisdom, woldstow performe the acte of venus withe me so that ich may interpret thys clause in propre wise? -Ich loved thy papere, but yt wolde looke much better yscattred across the floore of myn rentede dorme roome at dawne. -Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on. -Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve? -Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome yn terror! -Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge? -Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles? -Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee. -Thy beaute ys more intoxicatyng than the OVP openne bar. -Yf thy beautee were an poeme, yt wolde make Dante looke lyk Marcabru. -The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of consanguinitee. Game on! -Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands? -Makstow a pilgrymage heere often? -Let vs breake oure mornyng faste togedir tomorrowe. Shal ich sende a page wyth a message for thee, or shal ich wake thee wyth an aubade composid ex tempore? -Ich coude drynke a yearlye tun of thee. -Ys thy father a makere of walles? For how else dide he gyve thee svch a tall and fayre forheed? -Ich haue the tale of Lancelot yn myn roome. Woldstow rede of yt wyth me? --By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For thy face lyk the rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE! -Woldstow be myn Gaveston? -Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange pleseth thee nat? -If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me? lmao! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Has anyone heard anything further on this?

Had an email from the DGA in response to a query I sent...only 12 slots in their program this year, 600 applications. Didn't get a good feeling, alas; seemed like an implicit rejection. Looks like I better start gearing up for a commuter marriage, if DH even lets me go through with it....

I agree. Waive your right to see it. You have to trust that if someone agrees to write you a rec, that person has your best interests at heart and wants to help you get in. If s/he doesn't, then s/he should tell you straight out so you can find someone better suited to do it. Don't waive it, and the adcomm is definitely going to raise eyebrows...not to mention, some profs will refuse to write you one if you don't waive that right, on principle. Hang in there!! You've got a great portfolio assembling, you'll certainly be competitive in the end.

ooh! Ooh! Grain of hope! Grain of hope! On the UVA GSAS website: "Academic credits, undergraduate or graduate, earned more than 10 calendar years before the date of application for admission will ordinarily be considered no longer valid, and therefore will not form a basis for admission to the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences. At the discretion of the department in which you propose to work, such credits may be revalidated by examination. " So - they don't have to count my undergraduate work at UVA after all. Doesn't mean much, but it's something!! Especially when everything since was pretty good!

Unfortunately, based on my most recent experience, only an Act of God will suffice in my case as well. BUT, as other people have said, it doesn't mean I can't be delighted for you as well!!

I definitely got the feeling she was a really nice person. Certainly didn't have to take the time to email me on an individual basis, nor to be as candid in her assessment. And - well, you know, I'm sorry it happened, too. But again, I'm not bashing the program or assigning blame - it is what it is. I would not have applied if I didn't think it was a great place, and I still think it's a great program. I'm sorry there's no way to look past things that happened so long ago in favor of things that have happened more recently, but in the end, there's a process, and we just have to accept that whatever happens is going to work out for the best in the end. I hope....! lol

Congratulations!!! :D:D

You know what? I'll probably get banned for this - but frankly, right now I don't care, because you are not helping anyone on this forum and we've all had it. So I'm just going to say this once and very clearly: F-CK OFF, Mate.

Yes, but be certain your undergraduate GPA makes the cut. I appreciate all the well wishes, guys, I really do (keep 'em comin'! lol J/K). But, let's not lose focus. I mean, yes, we are here to get into the best possible grad school, and yes, I just took a pretty painful beating, and one apparently several of us are facing and didn't know about - but, I also respect their right to make that choice, and I think it was above and beyond for the DEGA to take the time to email me personally, multiple times, to help clarify their position while I unraveled the situation. I told her what I'm telling you - in the end, I'm going to do this, and if it's not at UNC then it's not at UNC. It isn't going to do any good to say "their loss" - they don't think so, right? lol It just wasn't meant to be. And while the reason may not seem fair, right, or even logical, it was their decision to make. My current decisions include which bottle of wine to open and what chocolates to eat first.

"Yeah, a stellar degree in your MA program won't necessarily reconcile your undergraduate GPA, especially since grading at the graduate level is even more varied than with undergrads. Plus, you will be competing with many PhD applicants who only hold a bachelors degree, and thus the only way to "compare" candidates fairly is through common data sets i.e. UGPA/GRE." My BA is 15 years old. My MA is less than a full year old. When I applied to the program, I was applying with a 4.0. It really should be that simple. I'm sorry, but I was specifically applying for the PhD program, not the MA to PhD program. I am more than qualified except for grades earned 15 years ago. So, I categorically disagree with you on this. I should have been evaluated at face value with everything I brought to the table; I wasn't, but rather was summarily rejected for reasons you cannot hope to understand as concerns my undergraduate experience. But, we already know I always disagree with you on these things. "What sort of ranking was the university that told you this, might I ask? Do you think that they are unable to let an MA compensate for a low undergrad GPA simply because they are already inundated with applicants whose GPA's are perfect, or is it that they want all their entering students to be at the same level? Also, you are in Literature/English, right? Or are you in history?" The university is a top 25 school. I think they're unable to let the MA compensate because of numbers. I think the graduate admissions office refuses to allow for the possibility that a Master's earned after the BA have any bearing over the BA, no matter how old the BA is, because "they always go by your undergraduate GPA" - it's tradition. I think it's a program mired in tradition. I fail to see how the work I have done since then does not demonstrably show that my performance improved, which is one argument I received. How is earning a 4.0, in harder upper level classes, not indication of improvement from my bachelor's score? That doesn't really make sense to me at all, but that was the official response. I think it is also because the department in question happens to phasing out the direct-admit element of their program - from next year on, you can only apply to MA to PhD and they won't accept MAs at all. Which also only makes sense from an economic standpoint, because I think (myself completely aside) they are really going to lose out on top-quality students, people who maybe didn't do so hot as undergrads, but who have real-world experience and the maturity that comes with age and living to bring to the table. But, I mean, that's my opinion, doesn't matter what I think. They'll never hurt for applicants, and I wish everyone the best of luck. In the end, departments are going to accept or reject us for their own reasons, but it has become very clear to me through this admissions season that those reasons vary as widely as do the colors in a 120 box of Crayolas.

Just a heads up based on my most recent experience - I had a 2.66 GPA undergrad, in the 1990's, from a brand name school. I went on to complete a Master's degree with a 4.0 in my desired field of study, and also to complete further A level coursework in my field at the graduate level. The Master's degree was earned just last year, in 2009. My GREs were reasonable, if not stellar - I did get a 6 on the writing section. I also have published both in an organizational journal and in subject encyclopedias; I have a chapter coming out in an edited book in the next few years as well as other publications in the pipeline. With that record, I have been accepted at one program. The other program said that firstly, they are doing away with the admission of those with MA's in hand, so that you will only be able to get into complete the full PhD program. They were also very clear that nothing I have done since the undergraduate transcript is sufficient to compensate for that GPA. So, in my experience, this is all a craps shoot...some departments will accept your most recent (master level) coursework as representative of your academics, others will insist that only the undergraduate GPA counts. I know that only complicates things concerning the question at hand - but in the end, I think it all depends on the individual admissions committees at individual programs. You're just going to have to do your homework.

Well, for my part, I got into medieval studies long before I applied, because I love medieval studies. And it will certainly be harder than it would otherwise be, especially if I don't have access to the latest journals and academic library holdings, but I will keep researching and writing on medieval subjects long after this admissions season is over. You really can't stop me; you can only waylay me and make it harder. But to date, I have gotten past every big rock hurled at me - and that's a lot of big rocks, frankly. I don't anticipate that as changing in the future. It's hard to be an academic. It's doubly hard with a family. It's triply hard with a family, a mortgage, student loans, and the threat of a commuter marriage because the programs closest to you don't want you. But you know what? I am a medievalist. I was a medievalist before I applied, and I will be a medievalist until I take my final breath. Nobody can take that from me, and nobody can stop me from doing what I love. I just won't be a medievalist at UNC.

Thank you for that, I appreciate your kind words. I have to admit, considering everything I have done since then, I was really surprised at that myself - but she was extremely clear with me that nothing I have done since then was enough for the ad comm to overlook my average performance as an undergraduate. For my part, that stings, when I have worked so hard to overcome that deficiency and done so well on everything since - but I do really appreciate her taking the time to honestly tell me what my weakness was.She has been very forthcoming, honest, and kind in her appraisal of my record. Alas, there's nothing I can do to change it, if the coursework and degree I've earned since don't cut it. I did get an admit elsewhere, so not every program looks at it so stridently, for which I am grateful. best of luck to the rest of you!!