Danger_Zone

I get questions like the third one all the time! I get questions about the War of 1812, various other wars, ancient history.. And when I can't answer it I get "but I thought you knew history." I do! Just a very, very minuscule portion of it on a topic you probably don't care about. 
Oh and then I get this one from my boyfriend: "Why would you choose to go to school for even more years? you nerd."  

Most popular questions:
1) So what do you do with X degree after you get your Ph.D.? (tempting answer: become a shamaness and guide the world after the apocalypse annihilates civilization)
2) Wow, why does X degree take so long? (tempting answer: I don't know, how long should it take to become familiar with everything written about the history of European Civilization in the past 50 years or so?)
3) Can you answer X random question about the Nazis? (tempting answer: #notallgermanhistorians)
Please pardon the saltiness. 

Private owners, I mean. It just seems kind of discriminatory to me. I would totally be married now if I could, I promise!
I am thinking of getting an apartment for the year then looking into housing during the summer so I have more time to look. I will look into those though, thanks! 
 
Guys it's happening!! I just went through customs and am waiting at the gates! It actually was much easier than I thought. I was just asked for my I-20 then I went through. What a relief that was. Now I can worry about housing and banking and missing my family and my sanity because I got absolutely no sleep last night. 

Ummm unless getting you frustrated is meant to distract you from the upcoming proposal I'd say you have a right to be completely peeved.

I present the kitty approved <$80 craigslist combination workspace. It will be so much nicer when we move in 3 weeks.

So I finally met with my advisor again... talked over some research ideas/opportunities, and enrolled in classes. I feel like things are finally coming together lol. 

Another thing to realize is that just because members of your cohort are being supported by their parents doesn't mean its affordable.  Their parents may be living way beyond their means, maxing out credit cards, taking out loans, etc and their kid has no idea (or doesn't care).  I've known plenty of students who thought the parental gravy train would never end and all of a sudden it did because their parents reached a point of no return.  Those students are then in for a rude awakening as they realize they know nothing about money management and there is no way they can maintain the lifestyle they're used to with zero income while being a full time student. 

I'm definitely on the lower end of means compared to 99% of students I meet, and while other student's family's affluence is never blatant, there are hints. Sometimes, it's how nice of a car they drive or how much they spend on food. Sometimes, it's the clothes they wear; I doubt anyone of lesser means has a closet full of Patagonia. Sometimes, it's passing mentions of what their parents do for a living.
I generally just nod and hold my tongue. It does feel as if they live in another world. Peers of mine will mention in passing that they didn't grow up with much money, yet their second breath notes how their parents can only pay their rent, not their tuition. Or they'll comment that their 'really old, junky car' is only 2-3 years old and probably cost more than my student loan debt when new.
I genuinely wonder how these people will do after graduation.

@Neist and @MarineBluePsy both make good points.
Some students really do get everything paid for by them, sure, but what happens if they're suddenly cut off? Unlike you they won't have any experience with financial independence. 
And a lot of people go out of their way to appear more "well off" than they are. The complete opposite can be true as well. 

I haven't really been that productive, but I guess I wanted to relax while I can. So I've been reading books, watching a lot of movies, playing a lot of video games, shopping and working on learning German. I've also been spending time with my family before I move and doing some last minute things at home (packing, getting my documents together, getting check ups at the doctor's and dentist's, etc.) I also took my first vacation which was to Disney World!
I was supposed to be volunteering for a local genealogical society but they're too unorganized and were a no-show at my interview. I've been contacting them every summer and they never have room for me, then I finally get an interview and realize how unprofessional they are. I didn't really have a back up plan as I expected to be working there...
 

I think we all sometimes feel like there are others better off than us, or that there is something different about us that makes us feel left out. I think because you're self-conscious about it you're going to be the one noticing things like this, not anybody else.
Although I'm not in the same situation as you, I do know what it's like to feel like others are in more favourable circumstances than I am. I did have my education paid for by a relative, but not being on financial aid made me ineligible for all summer research opportunities. This feels downright unfair when you're trying to apply for grad school and see fellow classmates presenting at conferences and conducting research with professors. And I know other people being able to spend their money more freely, or having academic or wealthy backgrounds, can feel unfair as well, but you have to remember that you've ended up exactly where they are regardless. People have different backgrounds and different experiences but still share certain qualities and goals. Try to put a positive spin on your circumstances and experiences. Try to find similarities between you and your cohort rather than focusing on the differences.

It's unfortunate, but very common for students to struggle their first year or so. Depending on what school(s) you apply to, the graduate committees may put more weight on your final years, so this is where your grades are going to matter most. Obviously it's best to do well all throughout undergrad, but you have more than enough time to improve your grades and GPA (not that your grades seem that bad at all, they sound good to me but I can't tell you grade expectations for math as it's not my field.) Work on improving your grades and trying to gain some research or volunteering experience, this will definitely help with your application. Do well on the GRE (especially the quant portion) and I think you will be quite competitive.
I think the fact that you really enjoy math and are passionate about it is really going to help you succeed. Spend the next few years honing in on your particular interests so that you have a more solid grasp of what you would like to study during grad school. You are also starting to think about it so early, which helps immensely as well. However, I would try to address your mental health issues and test taking anxieties as soon as possible. You definitely do not want to carry these issues with you through the remainder of your studies, and especially not grad school. Have you looked into any mental health services or clinics available at your school? As for your test taking worries, could you discuss this with a professor or somebody who could help you come up with strategies to cope? 
Hope this helps!
(P.S. I don't know of anybody who isn't happy to help younger students with advice or questions. I think it's great that you have a good sense of direction with your studies. I definitely had no idea what I was doing until the last couple of years of undergrad. I wish I had thought about my life after graduation sooner and had a place like this to ask for help.)

Working at the school I'm entering in the fall, which in hindsight was a great idea. Highly recommend for any future grad students reading this.

I love the "summer is half over" posts. I'm only about 3 weeks into my summer... I really hate the quarter system. I don't go back until September 21st, but the spring quarter didn't end until June 11th. 
I enjoyed two weeks of not having too much to do aside from a conference, which was wonderful. This past week I started an internship. I don't care for the hours - it's 7 to 3:30, so I have to get up at 5:30, and I'm just not a morning person. It's also not exactly the job I accepted. I was supposed to be doing riparian plant inventory and mapping with another graduate-level intern for most of the job, but when I started, I found out the other intern took another job so I have no one to work with and am not permitted to do the job alone (liability reasons). So I've been working with the undergrad interns basically doing manual labor while my supervisors try to figure out something else for me to do.
Aside from the internship, I'm working on some publications and getting my dissertation project proposal together. I wish I had some time at the end of the break to do a little traveling. I have a friend in Las Vegas I'd like to visit and I'd like to visit some national parks in the vicinity. It's possible I will have a week off before classes start. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I just got my TA assignment  It couldn't be better if I picked it myself! I like the professor in charge (when I met him last year he seemed awesome), the duties are shared with 6 other TAs, I'm dealing with 3rd years (Juniors??) and it's all super basic mechanics which is useful to remember. I get to run the lab and teach them how to use equipment, which is great because it means I get practice too. Plus only 5 lots of lab reports to grade for 22 students. Not horrendous! I'm doing my happy dance (if you follow me on instagram it's visible at the end of my last video). YAY!

That's great, I hope you enjoy it! I own a few more Murakami books I need to get through, so I'm probably waiting until the paperback edition comes out. It will be really exciting to read his earliest works, though.

Awesome! I'm really enjoying it so far, and I love Murakami novels in general. Up to this point I've read After Dark, A Wild Sheep Chase, Norwegian Wood, Kafka on the Shore, and Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. By the way, I don't know if you know this, but Murakami just re-released those books as Wind/Pinball: https://www.amazon.com/Wind-Pinball-novels-Haruki-Murakami/dp/0385352123
That's impressive, @Neist! Hope you enjoyed.

Yay Juno!

@Danger_Zone I love that book! I've read everything by Murakami except for his first two books, which aren't widely available in English. Man, I'd love to get my hands on copies of "Pinball, 1973" and "Hear the Wind Sing."

The bare minimum you need:
- Valid passport
- Signed I-20
- Paid SEVIS fees
Extra things that you should have with you but you may not have to provide (in order of most likely asked to show to least likely):
- Acceptance letter
- Proof of funding
- SEVIS receipt (only necessary if their computer system is down and they can't access proof of payment, or you paid it hours or a day before entering the US so it's not in the system yet)
- Immunization records*
- Bachelor degree certificate*
(* It is very very unlikely you will be asked these things unless you get pulled aside for additional screening. However, these are things you should bring with you to the US anyways as you will need them for non-border related things. And, if you are flying, you should always take all important documents in your carry-on, not your checked bag, so you should have them accessible at the border anyways).
Also both starred items can be obtained after you enter the US because they are required by your school, not by the border officials. Some students don't finish undergrad degree requirements until August so they won't have the actual certificate itself when they enter the US.
Overall, you will be fine and you have everything you need!

After 30 hours of airline hell I finally made it.  Seriously everything that could go wrong did go wrong... delays, malfunctions, cancels, reroutes, a thunder storm, and getting stuck overnight in nowheresville.  *sigh*  My Airbnb hosts are really nice far more accommodating than I expected so I'm glad I went this route.  So now I can just focus on getting set up here.
You can do it!  Make a plan and cut way down on the farting around.  If you've been working diligently all this time 3 weeks is plenty to finish and then get in that oral exam.
All that stuff is totally up my alley, but given my aches and pains and open wounds the only thing I can do is something for my hair.  I did see my hairstylist for the works which was nice.  I agree planning a trip would be a nice distraction and a reward so I'll put more thought into that.
You can do it!  First quit answering the phone.  I found when I started ignoring anyone demanding my time and just not getting that I didn't have time to spare that it was easier to focus on what I did need to do.  Tell you mom you're going on holiday in September in America, it's called Labor Day weekend and its amazing.  People bbq, go boating, and sit around on their rears with an alcoholic beverage of choice.  And 3 houses???  How did that even happen?  As for the school stuff, just pace yourself and set a schedule.  You can do a lot more than you think if you're organized.

I think it's definitely normal. When I talked to my faculty advisor she told me I would probably end up researching a topic different than the one I proposed in my SOP. She said herself that she did not expect to be researching the topic she is currently writing a book on. She also told me not to rush into things, but to give myself time to find my research focus. Your knowledge and expertise will accumulate over time as you read more and more literature and research and get a feel for what kinds of questions out there are left unanswered. So don't feel pressured, just study what you enjoy and I think the topic will find you.

Yeah, this is normal. Many of the students in my program ended up doing something at least somewhat different in school than they pitched in their SOPs. I know I did. It takes time to build enough familiarity with the literature to figure out what has been done and what are (interesting, feasible) open questions. Of course you don't know that now; you can expect it to take time to figure it out. Your professors and courses will help some, and there will be some process of trial and error that's also normal, but eventually you'll realize that there are recurring themes in your final papers and in what you enjoy reading, the talks you feel you learned from the most, etc. It may (and in my experience, often does) come after a long period of uncertainty, there's a lot of that in the PhD. I think it's important to be aware of that and embrace it, because otherwise it can be very intimidating and discouraging. Especially the following thought, which you should get out of your head right now: "everybody else is so sure of themselves/knows what they're doing/has their shit together, and only I don't." Nope. Everyone's been confused at some point, maybe even right now. 

Its hard to be stressed when you've got the official-ist anxiety medicine out there.... Kitty belly.