I thought that I do not have a good profile to apply to top U.S. Universities, yet I sent emails to professors of interest as this is quiet the dream of my life. Well, the professors replied, one said I have strong qualifications. I applied and spent more than 1500 dollars as some test results did not arrive and I retook a test and reordered reports.
Now, I wait for rejections. No one interviewed me, so I expect all to reject me and I did indeed receive a rejection. The problem is that I have turned down a company offer here in Japan to prepare for the GRE, and turned down a PhD offer as I abandoned a scholarship that I had in order to apply. Being Syrian, no successful applications, and no employment would mean going back to my country and losing all the things that I have worked for my whole life.
I don't know if the ban affected me. Now I find myself in a limited time to get new opportunities, while my energy is already sucked up with the exhausting unfruitful journey of applications.