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Halek

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    41
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About Halek

  • Rank
    Caffeinated

Profile Information

  • Application Season
    2018 Fall
  • Program
    Ecology

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  1. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I finally decided to talk to my friends about how lonely and isolated I feel and how I can't be the only one who plans social events that I can participate in remotely. I was met largely was awkward silence. I know that it makes them feel bad. But this is the exact reaction I expect and it sucks. You can't keep saying you'll be there for me, but then mean in a "we can drive 4 hours and meet each other in the middle" kinda way. Long distance friendships exist. But I can't be the only one putting time and energy into it. And it doesn't help when you ignore me when I bring up these problems. I know we aren't face to face so it's easy to do. But it just demonstrates my point how how I feel isolated. I know it makes you feel bad when I bring these things up. But I can't pretend to be happy with the situation indefinitely.
  2. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I ended up accepting the nomination to be the go-between between the ecology students and general grad school. While I'd love to be president in the long term, I don't have a lot of connections within the department yet so maybe next year when I feel a little better connected (hurray first year student problems)
  3. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    Two people (I'm assuming in my cohort) nominated me for two ecology grad student association positions (one of them being president). I'm both flattered and horrified and unsure if I should accept the nominations.
  4. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I'm starting to meet people in the Anthropology department, I might be teaching half of the new cohort how to play dnd, and I'm going to visit old friends next weekend~ Also research stuff is slowly moving forward. Which is both exciting and terrifying.
  5. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    A few days ago I was feeling so much better about the relationship not working out and also grad school stuff. Today basically completely reversed all that. I just want to feel comfortable for a little bit. That'd be nice.
  6. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I ended up dropping in on a meeting an undergrad was having with my advisor about life after college. I ended up talking to her for an hour. After, my advisor said I did a good job. I'm really happy that I was able to give her some really honest advice.
  7. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I learned that my advisor went through the same relationship drama when she was in her first year of her phD that I'm going through now. Is the drama getting better? No. It's getting worse. Somehow. But it makes me feel better to know that someone has been in my position and has gotten through it. Even if she did say that she almost quit.....
  8. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I remembered that Hamilton exists. This was my writing music back for my capstone in undergrad and also seems like perfect "angry about relationships" music. Thank you, Lin Manuel Miranda. You've made and PhD student sing while writing in lab.
  9. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Turns out he has had a girl friend back where he's at at least since last weekend. I didn't hear this from him. God I have so little emotional energy to give I want someone to respect it. I feel like my trust has been completely betrayed. We agreed that we'd talk about this and it seems like he even forgot that we discussed that. I timed this so badly. Research expectations from my adviser are amping up. Everyone in my cohort seems totally okay with being only interested in research all the time. And I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry.
  10. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Nope. It's not gonna work. God damn it. This is the closest I've ever gotten to a real relationship. Damn it.
  11. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    The guy back where I used to live and I agreed to talk about trying to do a long distance relationship once we'd each gotten settle into the semester. I messaged him about it last night. We've interacted on group chats since I sent it, but he hasn't responded to my text. I'd be fine with a "I'd rather not talk about this right now". Well....I'm not sure if "fine" is the right word. I'd prefer it to silence.
  12. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I really need to find something that fills my Wednesday nights. All the friends two states away get together and I can't help but feel like I'm disappearing or something. I did try out a dnd group here. It was a pretty horrible fit. I'm in a rural area and it looks like that might be the only group looking for players here.
  13. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I've become "The Antro Person" in my Ecology classes and "The Ecology Person" in my Anthropology classes. It's a little isolating but also fun because I'm bringing things to the discussions that sometimes the professors teaching the class haven't heard of. It'll take some getting used to, but it's also a really fun place to be and lets me teach new people about why I love these two fields!
  14. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I'm currently signed up for a group.....but I'm the first one to sign up. So who knows when it'll start. Also, there are rules against making friends in the group. Which makes sense. But I feel like I'm grasping at straws. Everyone keeps saying "just wait it'll happen". But I've lived in so many places where I've been there half a year and still haven't been close to anyone and I'm so scared of that happening again.
  15. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I wish that I had a support system here. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety and having no one at all here to lean on is making it really hard. I'm more worried about being alone here for 6 years than I am about course work or research.
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