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Halek

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About Halek

  • Rank
    Caffeinated

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  • Application Season
    2018 Fall
  • Program
    Ecology

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  1. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I learned that my advisor went through the same relationship drama when she was in her first year of her phD that I'm going through now. Is the drama getting better? No. It's getting worse. Somehow. But it makes me feel better to know that someone has been in my position and has gotten through it. Even if she did say that she almost quit.....
  2. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I remembered that Hamilton exists. This was my writing music back for my capstone in undergrad and also seems like perfect "angry about relationships" music. Thank you, Lin Manuel Miranda. You've made and PhD student sing while writing in lab.
  3. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Turns out he has had a girl friend back where he's at at least since last weekend. I didn't hear this from him. God I have so little emotional energy to give I want someone to respect it. I feel like my trust has been completely betrayed. We agreed that we'd talk about this and it seems like he even forgot that we discussed that. I timed this so badly. Research expectations from my adviser are amping up. Everyone in my cohort seems totally okay with being only interested in research all the time. And I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry.
  4. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Nope. It's not gonna work. God damn it. This is the closest I've ever gotten to a real relationship. Damn it.
  5. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    The guy back where I used to live and I agreed to talk about trying to do a long distance relationship once we'd each gotten settle into the semester. I messaged him about it last night. We've interacted on group chats since I sent it, but he hasn't responded to my text. I'd be fine with a "I'd rather not talk about this right now". Well....I'm not sure if "fine" is the right word. I'd prefer it to silence.
  6. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I really need to find something that fills my Wednesday nights. All the friends two states away get together and I can't help but feel like I'm disappearing or something. I did try out a dnd group here. It was a pretty horrible fit. I'm in a rural area and it looks like that might be the only group looking for players here.
  7. Halek

    The Positivity Thread

    I've become "The Antro Person" in my Ecology classes and "The Ecology Person" in my Anthropology classes. It's a little isolating but also fun because I'm bringing things to the discussions that sometimes the professors teaching the class haven't heard of. It'll take some getting used to, but it's also a really fun place to be and lets me teach new people about why I love these two fields!
  8. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I'm currently signed up for a group.....but I'm the first one to sign up. So who knows when it'll start. Also, there are rules against making friends in the group. Which makes sense. But I feel like I'm grasping at straws. Everyone keeps saying "just wait it'll happen". But I've lived in so many places where I've been there half a year and still haven't been close to anyone and I'm so scared of that happening again.
  9. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I wish that I had a support system here. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety and having no one at all here to lean on is making it really hard. I'm more worried about being alone here for 6 years than I am about course work or research.
  10. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Yeah, for the opening up to people thing, that's usually the approach I try to take too. I don't think it helps that for whatever reason they're really stressing that we need to make friends. The pressure doesn't help, especially if you're prone to social anxiety. As for the impostor syndrome, I've had it bad for a long time. So I guess the way I cope is to try to be open about it? I need to remember that most people probably haven't been dealing with impostor syndrome as a daily part of life for several years. For D&D I actually do have a group that I'm Skyping with from back at my previous job. However, I'm the DM for that group, so I'd really love to play. I think I might have actually found a group. I don't think they're grad students, or at the very least they're not in my department. That might be a good thing. Meet some people outside of science.
  11. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I've been moved in a for a few weeks now and I just feel....lonely? I've been trying to meet people but I get so socially exhausted because there is no one here at all that I can fall back on for "real deep emotional talks". I also met my cohort yesterday and I had the same problem I always have with making friends in my field: all anyone wants to talk about is biology and their work. And when they do want to talk about their work they want to pretend they know exactly what they're doing. My dude, we haven't even started the program yet. It's the blind leading the blind out here. I know I need friends here. I know I need to put energy in to make friends. But damn that amount of energy is so high I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Also: it's very hard to find a Dungeons and Dragons group here and that's getting me down.
  12. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    One of my friends who I've had romantic feelings for for a while just told me that he also has those feelings. Tomorrow I move 7 hours away. I want to scream.
  13. Halek

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    Sunday was the last time that I would see all my friends together, playing dungeons and dragons, before moving 6 hours away in a few weeks to start school. While I'm happy I got into grad school, this group of people and this game has helped me through so many things in the past year (mainly a rough time with a lab technician position) and I'm so sad to leave it. But I guess feeling that bad shows just how much it mattered to me?
  14. Halek

    State College, PA

    Congrats! Also, you're Anthropology? I'm technically Ecology, but it's an interdepartmental program so my Advisers are in the Anthropology department!
  15. Halek

    When did it hit you?

    It mostly hit me when I got an email inviting me to interview. It still haven't fully sunk in yet though. I feel like it might start to feel real when I'm packing up my things to move in July.
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