Marcus_Aurelius

I ended up applying for the Post Bacc at UPenn.  Happy to say that I got in!!  I'm the alternate for the fellowships so here's hoping one of the two people that got it was able to secure a place somewhere else!

I assume you're talking about this paragraph from Alex Guerrero:
"The Director of Graduate Admissions makes an initial cut from the full pool (380) 
down to around 100 applications. That’s the first big cut. I’ve now been in that role for several 
years, and although my process isn’t perfectly precise, I typically make this cut by looking at (1)
grades/transcript, then (2) personal statement, then (3) letters of recommendation—in that order. 
I rarely do more than glance at (4) writing samples at this stage."
If your transcript has a lot of good Philosophy courses and an upward trajectory in your grades, and your statement and letters explain the issue earlier in undergrad, you shouldn't be disqualified at all. But some programs read everyone's sample, I think. In any case, good to apply for a mix of PhD and MA.

There's certainly no rush for you to get either an MA or a PhD. If you want to pursue stuff right away, then yes, a Master's degree seems like the safer bet, given your situation.
The PhD will see you living away from home for the first time, maybe far away, and that is a life experience that comes with its own challenges. Combining that with a PhD is a recipe for unneeded stress. The same is true for the MA, of course, but it's a question of a couple years versus five to ten. And, frankly, it's better to have some life experience before committing to the PhD. You'll come out of it somewhat bruised, only to find a job market that won't hire you, or that dangles short-term options far away from friends and family. 
It's also worth pointing out that your age will put you in a very different social situation from the rest of your cohort. And that, unfortunately, is a recipe for serious loneliness and isolation. They'll be hanging out, often in spaces where the alcohol flows freely, and doing any number of other things which aren't available to a 17 year-old, or which interest them but not you, etc. And that will make it hard for you to make friends and develop an adequate support network. The PhD is alienating enough on its own. It's better to be able to share the experience with others.
Take the time to enjoy life and being young. Graduate degrees will wait for you. I doubt I would have taken my own advice at that age, but I do think it's right.

I would recommend getting an MA in philosophy first. Philosophy PhD admissions are absurdly competitive, much more so than other fields (and other fields are already competitive). Even if you could get into a program with just your bachelors, you'll likely get better offers if you apply in a couple years after doing some graduate work first. 
The admin you spoke to definitely confused the SoP with the WS. The SoP is almost always under two pages.

There are several of funded MAs! Search threads here for more info.
Like most applicants, you'll be judged most on your writing sample and letters. Address the early poor grades in your statement of purpose, and perhaps have a letter writer mention it.

Someone with a 3.2 got into Yale this year, according to the results page. So anything's possible. Just give the writing sample everything you've got.

From the perspective of someone with less-than-stellar grades, who just made it through admissions this season, and who isn't from an ivy league school: You need to cast your net a bit broader than some, but you're in a pretty good place. It might be worth it to complete an MA first and hone in on your writing and pick a topical subject. This process of generating a writing sample goes best if you are working with a faculty advisor, and spending a good deal of time on it. Your writing sample, along with stellar MA grades can swing the outcome of applications drastically. 

Just accept the offer for Chicago. Not gonna wait for Brown and JHU anymore

The PhD rankings are not undergraduate degree rankings. They don't necessarily match up (in fact, I'd be surprised if most top PhD programs really were the best places for an UG education). There's old evidence of prestige bias in tip-top program admissions, but it's not known how or whether things have changed. But this isn't something you can control. Just apply and see what happens.

Hi there, just got an MA offer from Cincinnati, ancient history track. I'm not in the US for undergrad, so I don't know much about UC. Does anyone know how their classical department is? My interest is in the imperial Rome and hope to participate in some digs in my master.

Well, I had thought I bombed the interview but I guess not... Accepted at UC Irvine LPS. I don't really see a reality where I won't be accepting their offer. I'm going to give myself a few more days to get all the info from each program I was seriously considering, but I have started declining acceptances and waitlists from places I'm sure I will not be attending now.
 
It has been a wild ride and I haven't fully processed the acceptance. Any idea when that goes away?

I've never heard of someone negotiating a PhD funding offer, but this may vary depending on the kind of institution/location (e.g., if it's a school where funding isn't automatically guaranteed for all admitted students, there may be more of an opportunity to negotiate).
At my university (private, U.S.), the funding package for PhD students has been negotiated by our graduate student union and is standard across all departments in the humanities/social sciences. That said, it's possible that there might be some additional internal funding that is specifically earmarked for recruiting students from underrepresented backgrounds that a department might be able to tap from/petition for. However, departments are often willing to offer additional financial support to their incoming students for relevant educational activities undertaken the summer before their PhD begins  — e.g., if an incoming student wants to take an intensive course to get one of their modern languages up to speed, or work on an archaeological dig, my department will typically help fund those opportunities.

I AM ELATED, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME. Accepted at UMass Amherst, AND Western Ontario!

I think what would matter most is the BA in Philosophy with Honors. 
I know people who got into Harvard's PhD in Philosophy having come from obscure public institutions - so do not sweat about it.
Not sure about the JD, but I do not see why it would be a hindrance.
I do know someone with an MBA and an MPP who applied for a PhD - not in Philosophy - and got rejected across the board because it seemed to the admissions committee that the individual was just after another degree. A PhD is a professional program - not an existential one.
You do not need to have TA/TF experience to get into a PhD program,.
If you attended a top law school, I do not see why you would not do at least decently on the GRE. Please note, Harvard's Philosophy Department does not even require it.
In other words, go for it!

Accepted: Stanford (ancient history track in classics), Berkeley (AHMA), Princeton (PAW in classics), Columbia (classical studies)
Waitlisted: Penn (ancient history)
Rejected: Yale (even though I did my MA in history here lmao), Harvard (I presume rejection because I haven't heard anything)

Got an acceptance at Columbia Classical Studies!!

Just received a call from IPCAA saying I got in!!!! 

Update for those wondering/keeping track: 
 
Waitlisted at Penn
Acceptances from UWash and UNC Chapel Hill 
Interviews at USC and UCSB 
 
All for phd in Classics. I have heard that UChicago and UCLA have sent communication to applicants. 

I've just got an interview invitation from Yale, good luck to everyone! 
My friend who applied to Columbia hasn't heard anything, btw.

I have only had activity from 3 of the schools to which I applied: accepted to UNC Chapel Hill's PhD (archaeology track), accepted to CU Boulder's MA (but waitlisted for funding), and interviewed by Princeton's Dept. of Art & Archaeology.
I applied to a bunch of programs...this leaves me with 12 that I haven't heard anything from! So for those of you still waiting, as hard as it is, I would try not to read too much into it. I seems like most schools are pretty behind across the board this cycle. I've enjoyed reading everyone's exciting updates, and best of luck to all!

Not this year! None of the schools I applied to required the GRE. 

Got an interview with the Joukowsky Institute at Brown!! Very overwhelming!!

Yale Classics (and combined programs where you've applied through the Classics dept.) hasn't had interviews yet and, as far as I know, has not reached out to anyone about interviews yet. 
Best of luck to everyone applying this year! Don't stress if you haven't heard anything from schools yet--some places are running behind this year or have changed their process for interviewing/admissions (in person vs. on Zoom interviews, for example). You got this!!

For the Classics (philology) PhD programs, so far I have got admissions from UChicago and UMich, and a rejection from Cornell (no interview). I am having interviews in the coming days with Princeton, Harvard, and UC Berkeley, but haven't heard anything from Yale yet. Good luck everyone!

Just an update for my NELC folks: I had and will have interviews with Brown, ISAW and Yale this week. Heard nothing from JHU, Michigan and Oxford, and I am thinking withdrawing applications from these schools. Good luck everyone with all the interviews going on!!