Being told this isn't because you're black or a woman. Don't be so narcissistic. Learning to fail and being able to stand back up and brush yourself off is life advice that EVERYONE needs to live by. You need to learn how to fail and understand that failing doesn't make you a failure. There's a difference. How did you learn to walk? You failed and literally got back up and brushed yourself off. Only, now, you don't have your parents there to pick you up. Now, when you fail, you need to pick yourself up. Friends and family surrounding you, encouraging you, is important to making that possible, but you are still the one who needs to do it. Sure, every time I have been rejected over the last three years, I could have curled into a ball, called myself a failure, and never tried again. That option is entirely available to you and there are times I've certainly considered doing the same thing. But the mind set of "I've succeeded at everything I've done up til now" has only diluded you into thinking you're some unstoppable force--none of use are. Now that it looks like you've hit a small obstacle, you have only just realised that you aren't so "unstoppable" afterall. That fact is, that's okay! It's okay to fail.
We, as humans, will all be confronted with the limits of our own success, at some point in our life. What makes a difference between the strong among us and those who aren't is whether we accept our failure, learn from it, and work hard to push ourselves beyond our limits. Is the struggle harder for some than others? Yes. Do some have to work harder to get to places that come so easily for others? Yep. Do some people have a list of things trying to keep them from succeeding, that are entirely out of their control (societal, financial, etc.)? Absolutely. The question you, and everyone here, have to ask yourself is: Am I okay with taking the loss and moving on? Or do I want to prove to myself I can push myself to recover from this and succeed through perserverance. No matter what decision you choose, you're welcome to it. But don't blame people who encourage you to be stronger just because you don't think you can or don't think they understand how hard it will be. You may not take value in what I have to say because I don't know what it's like to grow up as a black woman in a society that severely marginalises against you. That's fine. But it doesn't make what I say any less valid as advice for dealing with failure. Telling you it is okay to fail and try again, is not invalidating the struggle you go through to do that. It's acknowledging that the journey will not be easy, but we have faith you have the strength to do it--even if you don't think you do.
If you take nothing away from this, at least take this with you: The only difference between failing and being a failure, is your perception.
I think mine will start coming in two weeks or so but still checking email and all my application portals constantly even though I know its the weekend and theres no chance to hear anything right now. Applied to 5, wish I applied to 10 just in case.
I'd put an asterisk and a red flag next to that school. A twenty minute conversation about something like that? Unless their program website suggests you put your advisor on your CV, I'm not sure how a first time applicant would know to put that.
It sounds like neither. It could be that your university has just narrowed down the applicant pool but has not made final decisions on which applicants to accept. So if they have a short list of 25 applicants, maybe only 15 will get accepted but they still haven't decided which of those 15 applicants it will be. If that makes sense.
It sounds like neither. It could be that your university has just narrowed down the applicant pool but has not made final decisions on which applicants to accept. So if they have a short list of 25 applicants, maybe only 15 will get accepted but they still haven't decided which of those 15 applicants it will be. If that makes sense.
I think mine will start coming in two weeks or so but still checking email and all my application portals constantly even though I know its the weekend and theres no chance to hear anything right now. Applied to 5, wish I applied to 10 just in case.
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