I really can’t thank you all enough for sharing your experiences and tips. I clicked with a number of points—financial security (about time, right?), schedule and organization (mentally, too), having a more structured life after working, and trying to get a sense of what works best for me.
dreid’s suggestion of doing different things at different places really struck me. I worked the past few months as a freelancer and did almost everything at home: work (online), app prep, meals, even working out (I bought a yoga mat). I did go out of course. At first it felt convenient, but later this doing everything at one place became chaotic boring and depressing. I even started to feel annoyed at the sight of my desk, i.e. my dining table, library, work station and entertainment platform.
I didn’t want to take this full-time job at first. Actually I cried pretty bad after I accepted the offer (but partly because I’m already too sentimental lol), as I thought by saying yes I’m officially stepping farther away from my dream. Yet something tells me that you are not going anywhere either if you don’t. I really do need a more structured life, and to return to my normal self.
The past year has been…but the worst thing happened to me is that I became timid and lost faith. I was a scrappy kid telling myself and people around me you can do it if you work hard/if you really want it/if you have enough motivation. I never thought I was being idealistic, I simply had enough courage and inherent incentive. God I miss that.
All of that are still true, I just need to rebuild myself, and I will. I really appreciate your support, and sorry for my disorganized thoughts. ~
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” Wish everyone well.