_angua

Searching for housing when you're 5150 miles away is overwhelming :S I have 15 open tabs and a huge list of options in a city I've never been to... I'm unsure by nature... and now comes the ultimate challenge haha But it's a good feeling after all ? 

I've had social anxiety since I was a teenager, so getting through my undergrad was definitely a challenge but I also think I've grown a lot and I feel more confident about handling it in grad school.
1) When someone points out that I'm being quiet I try to say something like 'I'm enjoying listening to everyone' or 'It helps me think'. Something I sometimes try to do is comment and synthesize what I've been hearing from other people saying so they know I'm actually engaged. In general this has been less of an issue for me over time though, I'm also a very direct person and don't tend to hold back my true opinion especially in groups/conversations where I'm more comfortable so I think I've found a pretty good balance.
2) Unfortunately I've found that academia is not very accommodating of introverts or people with social anxiety (profs would often say essentially I had to 'just get over it' if I ever wanted a job - ironically bad advice coming from psychology profs IMO). Introversion and reflection were not really rewarded for most of my undergrad. Presenting and public speaking I think gets easier over time and with practice. I volunteered with a campus women's centre where I would present workshops or discussions with smaller groups of students and I found that really helped me become more comfortable with talking to people and develop a more conversational style of presenting that feels much more natural and makes me less anxious. Really knowing your material will help with your confidence too; I've felt a lot less jitters presenting about my research because I'm so familiar with and care about the topic (I've actually won awards presenting which I never would have imagined when I started!) Knowing the topic also helps me speak more conversationally about it which I find helps me to avoid getting stuck compared to speaking to a very formal script.
I still have problems with my anxiety sometimes though, especially with all the challenges and new experiences that come with grad school. But you're obviously very capable and resilient to have made it so far, and I hope that you can find an environment where you can communicate your love of research in a way that is comfortable for you and becomes fun to do!

I received a community award tonight at an event. Plus, my book review for a journal has been accepted.

Hi everyone!
I’ve been lurking forever, but I just accepted my offer to the clinical psych program at Western. If anyone else on here is also going to be at Western I’d love to connect before starting in the fall!?

To add to the point folks have made about making sure you really want it, I will say that two rounds of applications have taught me that it's definitely okay and probably even a benefit to take time off after you graduate and really think about what you want to do. 
Finishing my undergraduate thesis was so stressful and I can't imagine how I would have survived if I was applying at the same time. I first applied in the first round after I graduated and I was still so exhausted and jaded and just was not excited about the prospect of going back to school. Even though I didn't feel good about it, I submitted applications because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn't put my best effort in and didn't apply for funding and was unsurprised when I got all rejections. It was demoralizing and a huge waste of my time and money.
But, taking a second year off allowed me to rest and have some free time again. I was also able to keep working on some research from undergrad and eventually get them published and present at conferences, which were huge strengths on this round of applications. I also got a good job at a nonprofit on a contract, so I've been able to save and prepare for moving to my new school and I had experience in a professional environment which many fresh undergrads don't have. By the second round I was ready to go to school and found myself distracted at work thinking about research! Taking some time off can allow you to present yourself as more mature and committed to the program.
Also, apply to as many (relevant) schools as you have energy for and can afford. I only applied to three because I was also working full time while preparing applications, but it became clear pretty quickly that all my hopes were riding on one school. That's a super stressful position to be in (I was accepted thankfully), and I didn't realize how much the process came down to luck and how much I had stacked the odds against me. I wish I had applied to a few more schools and maybe branched out a little bit from my specific topic of interest.

Like many others in this thread, I have applied 3 times. I was completely unprepared the first time; I got 4 interviews the 2nd time, but was rejected from all; and I have been accepted this 3rd time, and to my top choice of programs. I've also learned a lot from this process, some of which I think is worth sharing:
Stop focusing on everyone else around you. I made the mistake of always comparing myself to both other applicants and students, and I always felt a sense of inadequacy. Even at the interviews, I always felt like I was the weakest candidate there and had no chance. Even during this current cycle, those thought persisted. For example: the program that accepted me interviewed 8-10 applicants per PI, so there were a LOT of people there. I thought for sure, I had no chance. Well folks - I got in! That goes to show that you have just as much a chance as anyone else at that interview. And, in general, you have no idea how well someone is going to mesh with a PI or program, so don't compare yourself to someone who you feel is superior.
Take your time. If you feel any sense of uncertainty, I would recommend taking a year or two off and working in a research setting. I was rejected after applying straight out of undergrad, and again the next year. I actually did not apply last cycle, due to a job commitment. However, I am very thankful for the experience I was able to gain in these 3 years I will have as a research assistant. I feel much more prepared for graduate school, and that definitely came across on my interviews. I have absolutely no doubt that this is what I want to do.
Prepare, but don't memorize. It is very important to practice answering some questions that may be thrown at you, to avoid looking like a "deer in headlights" during the actual interview. Topics like your research interests, potential study ideas, your past research experience (things you learned), and "why their program" are all pretty standard, and they expect you to be able to answer them with ease. However, you don't want it to come across like you've memorized a canned answer. The more natural your conversation flows, the more comfortable you feel, and the better rapport you have. Just be yourself - you know your stuff!
Don't give up! If this wasn't your time, it wasn't your time. Don't give up just yet. Of course, there may come a point where you at least consider another option, but give it a little time first. This process is grueling and competitive, and honestly, timing and luck definitely play a part, as well. You may be the most qualified candidate out there, but there was just someone else who meshed better with your POI. It was just the wrong place at the wrong time. Just remember to pick yourself back up, take a deep breath, and take another go at it. Mentally, physically, and financially, it's tough - but it's also an amazing learning experience. THis is weird to say...but I'm almost glad I was rejected so many times. The program I was accepted to was my top choice (I had never applied in the past), and I couldn't be happier. I am so much happier with this acceptance than I would have been with any of the other I interviewed at. 
 
Congratulations on all who were accepted, and best of luck to those who continue their application journeys. 

I'm also no longer a first year, but I found it endlessly frustrating that faculty harped on how important self care is and that we need to model that for clients, yet gave us grief for actually trying to do it.  Meaning if we worked exercise, regular sleep, or time with friends into our schedule faculty would then tell us that whatever research, clinical, or class related tasked was top priority and everything else should be put on the back burner.  There was no respect for the need to maintain these routines when trying to schedule meetings (that were often unproductive) either.  I declined to give up my self care routine and have no regrets, but I could have done without the attitude from the faculty.  Other students caved and found themselves constantly ill, gaining weight, and exhausted.

I'm no longer in first year, but I found maintaining work-life balance to be a challenge and I'm constantly refining this as I get older in PhD years. That's why my first bit of advice that I give to incoming students is to build that balance into your routine so it becomes a habit! As grad students we face the conflicts of "What is good, is bad; what is bad, is good" syndrome (the less talked about cousin to Imposter Syndrome) where we can feel guilt and shame for not focusing on our research productivity and, instead, think that working many hours is a good thing (it's not. You'll feel burnt out and STILL feel bad). But grad school is a lifestyle and lifestyle habits would benefit the most from consistency. So practice self-care and build that into your routine. Try to set your schedule so you have time that is fixed AWAY from work and school and more on yourself and the close people by your side.
Also, remove push notifications on your phone so that you don't get bombarded by emails and feel the urge to reply right away. There's nothing worst than having a good day and then seeing the dreaded email from supervisors asking you about your progress! In grad school, you get A LOT of emails already!

To add to the point folks have made about making sure you really want it, I will say that two rounds of applications have taught me that it's definitely okay and probably even a benefit to take time off after you graduate and really think about what you want to do. 
Finishing my undergraduate thesis was so stressful and I can't imagine how I would have survived if I was applying at the same time. I first applied in the first round after I graduated and I was still so exhausted and jaded and just was not excited about the prospect of going back to school. Even though I didn't feel good about it, I submitted applications because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn't put my best effort in and didn't apply for funding and was unsurprised when I got all rejections. It was demoralizing and a huge waste of my time and money.
But, taking a second year off allowed me to rest and have some free time again. I was also able to keep working on some research from undergrad and eventually get them published and present at conferences, which were huge strengths on this round of applications. I also got a good job at a nonprofit on a contract, so I've been able to save and prepare for moving to my new school and I had experience in a professional environment which many fresh undergrads don't have. By the second round I was ready to go to school and found myself distracted at work thinking about research! Taking some time off can allow you to present yourself as more mature and committed to the program.
Also, apply to as many (relevant) schools as you have energy for and can afford. I only applied to three because I was also working full time while preparing applications, but it became clear pretty quickly that all my hopes were riding on one school. That's a super stressful position to be in (I was accepted thankfully), and I didn't realize how much the process came down to luck and how much I had stacked the odds against me. I wish I had applied to a few more schools and maybe branched out a little bit from my specific topic of interest.

I've had social anxiety since I was a teenager, so getting through my undergrad was definitely a challenge but I also think I've grown a lot and I feel more confident about handling it in grad school.
1) When someone points out that I'm being quiet I try to say something like 'I'm enjoying listening to everyone' or 'It helps me think'. Something I sometimes try to do is comment and synthesize what I've been hearing from other people saying so they know I'm actually engaged. In general this has been less of an issue for me over time though, I'm also a very direct person and don't tend to hold back my true opinion especially in groups/conversations where I'm more comfortable so I think I've found a pretty good balance.
2) Unfortunately I've found that academia is not very accommodating of introverts or people with social anxiety (profs would often say essentially I had to 'just get over it' if I ever wanted a job - ironically bad advice coming from psychology profs IMO). Introversion and reflection were not really rewarded for most of my undergrad. Presenting and public speaking I think gets easier over time and with practice. I volunteered with a campus women's centre where I would present workshops or discussions with smaller groups of students and I found that really helped me become more comfortable with talking to people and develop a more conversational style of presenting that feels much more natural and makes me less anxious. Really knowing your material will help with your confidence too; I've felt a lot less jitters presenting about my research because I'm so familiar with and care about the topic (I've actually won awards presenting which I never would have imagined when I started!) Knowing the topic also helps me speak more conversationally about it which I find helps me to avoid getting stuck compared to speaking to a very formal script.
I still have problems with my anxiety sometimes though, especially with all the challenges and new experiences that come with grad school. But you're obviously very capable and resilient to have made it so far, and I hope that you can find an environment where you can communicate your love of research in a way that is comfortable for you and becomes fun to do!

To add to the point folks have made about making sure you really want it, I will say that two rounds of applications have taught me that it's definitely okay and probably even a benefit to take time off after you graduate and really think about what you want to do. 
Finishing my undergraduate thesis was so stressful and I can't imagine how I would have survived if I was applying at the same time. I first applied in the first round after I graduated and I was still so exhausted and jaded and just was not excited about the prospect of going back to school. Even though I didn't feel good about it, I submitted applications because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn't put my best effort in and didn't apply for funding and was unsurprised when I got all rejections. It was demoralizing and a huge waste of my time and money.
But, taking a second year off allowed me to rest and have some free time again. I was also able to keep working on some research from undergrad and eventually get them published and present at conferences, which were huge strengths on this round of applications. I also got a good job at a nonprofit on a contract, so I've been able to save and prepare for moving to my new school and I had experience in a professional environment which many fresh undergrads don't have. By the second round I was ready to go to school and found myself distracted at work thinking about research! Taking some time off can allow you to present yourself as more mature and committed to the program.
Also, apply to as many (relevant) schools as you have energy for and can afford. I only applied to three because I was also working full time while preparing applications, but it became clear pretty quickly that all my hopes were riding on one school. That's a super stressful position to be in (I was accepted thankfully), and I didn't realize how much the process came down to luck and how much I had stacked the odds against me. I wish I had applied to a few more schools and maybe branched out a little bit from my specific topic of interest.

To add to the point folks have made about making sure you really want it, I will say that two rounds of applications have taught me that it's definitely okay and probably even a benefit to take time off after you graduate and really think about what you want to do. 
Finishing my undergraduate thesis was so stressful and I can't imagine how I would have survived if I was applying at the same time. I first applied in the first round after I graduated and I was still so exhausted and jaded and just was not excited about the prospect of going back to school. Even though I didn't feel good about it, I submitted applications because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn't put my best effort in and didn't apply for funding and was unsurprised when I got all rejections. It was demoralizing and a huge waste of my time and money.
But, taking a second year off allowed me to rest and have some free time again. I was also able to keep working on some research from undergrad and eventually get them published and present at conferences, which were huge strengths on this round of applications. I also got a good job at a nonprofit on a contract, so I've been able to save and prepare for moving to my new school and I had experience in a professional environment which many fresh undergrads don't have. By the second round I was ready to go to school and found myself distracted at work thinking about research! Taking some time off can allow you to present yourself as more mature and committed to the program.
Also, apply to as many (relevant) schools as you have energy for and can afford. I only applied to three because I was also working full time while preparing applications, but it became clear pretty quickly that all my hopes were riding on one school. That's a super stressful position to be in (I was accepted thankfully), and I didn't realize how much the process came down to luck and how much I had stacked the odds against me. I wish I had applied to a few more schools and maybe branched out a little bit from my specific topic of interest.

To add to the point folks have made about making sure you really want it, I will say that two rounds of applications have taught me that it's definitely okay and probably even a benefit to take time off after you graduate and really think about what you want to do. 
Finishing my undergraduate thesis was so stressful and I can't imagine how I would have survived if I was applying at the same time. I first applied in the first round after I graduated and I was still so exhausted and jaded and just was not excited about the prospect of going back to school. Even though I didn't feel good about it, I submitted applications because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn't put my best effort in and didn't apply for funding and was unsurprised when I got all rejections. It was demoralizing and a huge waste of my time and money.
But, taking a second year off allowed me to rest and have some free time again. I was also able to keep working on some research from undergrad and eventually get them published and present at conferences, which were huge strengths on this round of applications. I also got a good job at a nonprofit on a contract, so I've been able to save and prepare for moving to my new school and I had experience in a professional environment which many fresh undergrads don't have. By the second round I was ready to go to school and found myself distracted at work thinking about research! Taking some time off can allow you to present yourself as more mature and committed to the program.
Also, apply to as many (relevant) schools as you have energy for and can afford. I only applied to three because I was also working full time while preparing applications, but it became clear pretty quickly that all my hopes were riding on one school. That's a super stressful position to be in (I was accepted thankfully), and I didn't realize how much the process came down to luck and how much I had stacked the odds against me. I wish I had applied to a few more schools and maybe branched out a little bit from my specific topic of interest.

It's her decision, not yours. If she's graduating from undergrad now, that means she's probably 21-22 and old enough to make that decision for herself (whether you agree or not). In all actuality, a degree from a top-name institution doesn't mean that much after you get a bachelor's. Work experience trumps a degree in many instances. Worldly experiences look good on a resume but do not determine your intellectual ability or how much you retain from such experiences. I'm currently a fourth year graduating senior at one of the most popular and largest institutions in the nation (also on a policy track). It's a hard school to get in to, the academic rigor is tough, all of that jazz. I can personally say that if she hates economics, she shouldn't be forced to do it. Micro is easy, macro is an awful crime against humanity. You should feel confident in your daughter's decision-making skills. The majority of students (myself included) will graduate with mountains of debt no matter what (even if we had fellowships from Hopkins). Let her go where SHE wants to go, not where you want her to go. She's lucky to have you to "underwrite the check", but that doesn't mean you get to decide where she goes to school (or even influence her one way or another).

Are you sure she's actually "intimidated"? Because it doesn't sound that way to me. She's not worried it's going to be a hard program, she's worried it will be a poor fit for her. And I think she's right to do so.
It's normal to take classes you hate in undergrad, but this should not be the case for grad school. If you hate 4 of your classes (which is a LOT in a program that only requires 3 courses per semester), then you've picked the wrong program. Each of your daughter's courses should be preparing her for her career -- otherwise you're not spending your money wisely.
I know you're trying to look out for her, but she's probably done way more research on these programs and their alumni outcomes than you. She may still be young, but she's the expert.