fuzzylogician

I understand that this is shocking news for your boyfriend, and it has certain implications which just make his life more unpredictable, hence miserable. However, these sorts of things tend to end positively, with the students being taken care of by their department one way or the other. Since your boyfriend can't move to Japan (regardless of whether that's even an option), he needs to find out what happens next and how he should go about changing labs/advisors. This question is probably best addressed to someone in the department, e.g. the DGS or the department head, not to his current advisor. This may be a good time to evaluate how things are going and choose a lab/advisor that fit with his current skillset or interests, or alternatively have a chance to pick up new skills he may be interested in learning. Since it's a done deal, I'd try and view it as an opportunity. The experience he has is his to keep, and starting over doesn't have to mean starting from scratch. Alternatively, if he needs to pick up new skills, it should again take less time than when he had no prior experience, and he'll end up with more skills than the average graduate from his lab, which could be presented as a plus. Moreover, having a good, productive advisor will be beneficial for his professional growth and later for stronger letters of recommendations when he is looking for jobs. Since this is all happening very fast, I'd start talking to people now. Once he has his situation figured out, he might also want to talk to his current advisor about the status of his ongoing project(s) with the advisor and agree on a plan of action for either getting them to a publishable state soon or perhaps stopping them now so he can concentrate on whatever project will come along next. My understanding is that your boyfriend has only been working with this advisor for a year and a half, so this doesn't need to be a big setback. (Things are different if he is much further along than that in his program. If he is already in advanced dissertation stages he may just need to become more independent and find someone other than his advisor who can provide on-site support; let us know if this is the case and we can say more about this kind of situation.) This sucks and he is justifiably upset. But once the initial shock wears off, there are opportunities here and it doesn't need to be a huge setback. Kudos to you for being this supportive; I hope he appreciates it!

This may depend on the field, as mentioned, and I think a lot of it also depends on the person. There are people who always seem to have diverse interests and projects going on, and there are people who tend to do one thing at a time. The former people tend to continue to diversify their research after they obtain their PhDs, and that sometimes means getting into very different subfields than their dissertations. The latter people will often continue to work on similar projects to their dissertation and grow in ways that naturally follow from that. I can think of people in my field who have had a major shift in their research interests after their PhDs and I can think of others who always seem to go back to the same kinds of problems. I honestly think it's more about what your personality is like than anything else. The trick is to be able to "sell" yourself as someone working in the new field, which can be a challenge as a postdoc or a new faculty member, but if you have a track record of growth and change it helps. Once you do get a tt job, in principle no one can force you to do certain kinds of research and not others (ignoring the obstacles that may be there--depending on how supportive your department it, and also ignoring concerns about how long it would take you to get funding if you need to first learn new skills, and ignoring certain courses which may still be part of your job description even if you move into a new subfield). Similarly for postdocs - you could try and get a position in a lab (or with a mentor) that does very different work from your PhD. I personally think it's an asset to have a more diverse skillset. Depending on the postdoc you may be required to work on a certain kind of project, but I imagine that it would be possible to learn other things in your "spare" time. If you are lucky enough to get a no-strings-attached postdoc, that's of course even better and you can work on whatever you want.

I use Google Analytics to find out about visitors to my website. It can tell you more information that academia.edu, and I find it quite interesting. (It's also a way to know who is looking at my job applications ).

You can periodically inquire about your status on the waitlist. Ask now where you stand on the list and when you might expect to hear further news. Then I think it's fine to inquire again, say in late March and then again as the April 15th deadline approaches (make sure the inquiries are 10-14 days apart) to see how things are progressing. You can let this school know that you have a decision deadline for another program, though there is no guarantee that this will help speed the process along. As the decision deadline approaches, if you still haven't heard anything, you could see if the Masters program will agree to let you take a few extra days past the deadline to inform them of your decision. If they do, that may be all you need.

I want to stick up for the OP for not enabling someone who they think is trying to take advantage of them. In my PhD program, I wouldn't hesitate to help any of my classmates, even if you don't interact very regularly, and I have no doubt that they would help me too if I asked. However, I've also participated in environments in the past where I felt that some people were just barely scraping by without doing any of the work, and the way they did it was by relying on others to do the work for them. They would "borrow" notes or drafts of assignments and papers from others, or "work" in groups where somehow their part would never get done. They lowered the level of any class they participated in and frankly made my whole classroom experience pretty miserable. In those situations I had a rule that I was only forthcoming with students who pulled their own weight. With those people, I have no problem being very generous. The other people quickly learned to go elsewhere with their requests for help. I don't think I was "suspicious of friendly emails" or "strangely attached to my notes" -- I was not letting moochers take advantage of me, because it pissed me off and because it lowered the level of my education in general. Maybe it didn't solve the problem, but at least I wasn't enabling it.

What you describe sounds a bit extreme. On the other hand, I have to admit that I did not always do all of the reading for all of my classes in my first year. I tried to come prepared and at least skim the articles to know what we would be talking about, and I always did the assignments, but at some point I couldn't keep up with all the readings and became quite selective with how I spent my time so as not to burn out. I wouldn't just nonchalantly admit it in class, though, and the behavior you describe from your cohort does sound out of the ordinary. However, how this behavior should affect you and your well-being in your program is questionable. How much more will you have to interact with your cohort beyond this year? Are there students in other cohorts who you get along with? Do you expect to take classes with them or have opportunities to collaborate with them? You are in a PhD program, which presumably means that at some point in the relatively near future the focus will shift from classes to research. Are there professors in your program who you like working with and can act as advisors (and later, as a dissertation committee)? I assume that they exist, because otherwise you would not have chosen to do your PhD in this program. Are you able to reapply to grad schools next year and start over again? At this point it's probably too late to find a place that would take you for next year, though if there is such an opportunity (e.g. a school that accepted you last year, whose offer you declined), this is the time to informally inquire about the possibility of having them take you for next year. Reapplying or transferring would most likely mean that whatever you did this year won't count for much (if at all), and there is the possibility that you could only start over two years from now, if it's too late to find a place that will take you starting next year. So you need to ask yourself - is your program still a reasonably good fit, in terms of advising? How much will you have to interact with your cohort after this year is over and how much of a pain is it, really? I understand you are not enjoying it, but can you look past it and see a brighter future once you interact with them less? And then if you wanted to reapply to another school, does your personal situation allow you to do this? Are you able to let go of what you've done already and just start over? Without knowing more, if the only problem you are having is with your cohort, it doesn't sound like a good enough reason to leave. At some point soon, the focus will be about your research, and at that point you won't have interact with them at all. You can just distance yourself from these people, find friends in other cohorts or perhaps other programs, and just do your thing.

What you've done is just redefine what a 'safety school' is. When we say there is no such thing as a safety school, we mean it in the way that most people think about it when they say this term, namely a less prestigious program that you feel it's easy to get into. What you are talking about is finding a lower-ranked program with a perfect fit for your interests, which is what we always recommend anyway. In particular, we tend to recommend to (1) ignore rankings, because they hardly correspond to prestige within specific subfields and really what matters is not so much the school name or even the program name but the reputation and connections that your advisor has; and (2) apply according to fit: you may get into top programs and be rejected from (on paper) less prestigious ones, because your work and profile fit better with the former programs and not the latter. Or, vice versa: your profile better fits with schools that are less prestigious, and not with the more prestigious ones. I suppose it's possible that applying to lower-ranked programs can improve your chances because these programs might generally get less applications than others so there is less competition, but you haven't shown that this is actually important. At the end of the day, what really matters is the fit.

Disclaimer: I am not an immigration expert! Take with a grain of salt and consult with others to be sure. You need to distinguish between two documents/issues: - VISA - you need a visa to enter the US. There are different kinds of visas, and which one you have depends on the purpose of your visit to the US (=the status you'll have while visiting). - Status - you have be in a legal status throughout your stay in the US. As a student, you need to maintain a student status with your university (by being registered full time, paying all fees, not working beyond what is allowed, etc). You need to enter the US on the visa that is associated with the status you are going to have when you enter. The documents verifying your student/intern status are issued by your university. The visa is issued by the US embassy in your home country, normally. You can change status from e.g. "intern" (J-1) to "student" (F-1) without leaving the US, via the process I mentioned above (which I don't really know much about). This means that in principle you could legally be in the US under the appropriate status but not yet have the right visa that goes with that status (e.g. you enter on a J-1 visa with that status, then you change status when you become a full-time student). If this is the case, then the next time you leave the US you will need to get the right visa (in this case, the F-1), otherwise you won't be able to re-enter the US. Another possibility is that you already have both visas in your passport before you enter the US, and again - you enter with the J-1 because that's the status you'll have when you enter. So long story short, what matter is that: (1) you enter the US with the visa that corresponds to the status you are going to have in while you're in the US. (2) you always maintain an appropriate immigration status while in the US. (3) you can change your immigration status without leaving the US, if your circumstances change.

My understanding is that it is technically possible but it is not recommended. There are two ways to do it - one is you enter with the tourist visa and then go through a process of a change of status to a student visa in the US, once the visa is valid (I don't know how the details work, though). The other is that you enter on the tourist visa, travel and whatnot, then leave to e.g. Mexico or Canada and re-enter on the student visa. The reason that doing this (on either version) is not recommended is that it would make your entry on the tourist status suspicious, as if you were entering to start your education early but without the proper status. I'm sure there are people out there who did it successfully, so it's a question of risks and rewards. Do you really need to enter the US more than a month before your program begins?

I've never paid for anything by myself. My lab covered all of my expenses until this year, and now I have my own grant for my dissertation work. We don't have MA students, but I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that if we had any and they ran anything through the lab, the lab would cover those expenses. My department also has some "research money" fund that people can request money from to cover expenses such as payment for experimental subjects and consultants for field work, in case they don't have a PI who can cover their expenses. I can easily see students paying for experiments out of pocket in schools outside the US, though.

Good luck! Whatever happens, remember that it's 30 minutes and when it's done, you are free of your advisor. There are better and worse ways this could come about, but all of them are versions of a good scenario. I think it's safe to assume that you'll catch her off guard, that she'll be surprised by what you say, that she will react in inappropriate ways and perhaps yell at you and otherwise make you feel bad, that you'll cry and will indeed feel bad. BUT that last part sounds like a part of every meeting you have with her, and the former parts will ensure that this never happens again. I understand that you fear the situation, but I think you are brave for doing it and you should be very proud of yourself. Please do let us know how things turned out.

Mods can help you modify the poll. PM with *specific* requests and I can make the changes for you.

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I've never heard of anyone's writing sample being stolen, though I suppose it could happen. What happens more often is someone beats you to the punch and publishes the same basic idea you had, without acknowledging having heard it from you, and before you have any manuscript already in print or at least presented. This doesn't require using your actual text but is just as awful. It'd also be hard to prove that they took the idea from you, and even if you could show that they read your writing sample it'd be hard to argue that they didn't already have the idea in mind beforehand. PIs stealing their students' work happens and is also terrible, but is different than what the OP asked about.

OK ok, I have learned my lesson. Sweeping generalizations are easily falsifiable But I stand by my argument that sending email rejections is pretty common, and that I don't quite see why a nice paper rejection is better than an emailed rejection. They both suck.

Well I don't think MIT is special here, and I also don't think a personalized rejection letter on official letterhead that arrives in the mail will make you feel much better about being rejected. Being rejected sucks either way. It sucks even more the longer you wait, and if the rejection itself is impolite. I fail to see how it's better if it's a snail-mail letter as opposed to an email. Personally, I just want to know so I can stop waiting, and an email is faster than snail-mail these days.

I'm not sure what you mean by this "program I want" vs. "program that is better career-wise." I am betting that we're not talking about absolutes here, e.g. program with great placement record but a horrible working environment vs. program with great working environment but no one gets a job when they graduate. Assuming it's somewhere in between, I would tend to choose the school where I feel more comfortable. Even if you are participating in a program that is great on paper, you won't be able to make the most of it if you are unhappy. Unhappy students are unproductive students (and people) who can't take advantage of the opportunities that are available. On the other hand, if we are talking about two schools that you feel reasonably similar about (though one is slightly better than the other) but one has a much better track record with its alums, I think that would sway the decision in the other direction. The important factor is that you don't want to go to a place where you won't fit and will therefore be unhappy, unproductive, or otherwise won't be able to do the work you want to do. If you can't do good work, you will not enjoy the 5+ years you are in school and will also have a hard time getting a job later -- a lose-lose situation. If you're good, you'll get noticed even if you come from a lesser known school. The one word of caution that I have is not to believe rumors or outside appearances of different departments. People have prejudices that (I've learned) aren't always true reflections of how the school actually is, or perhaps it was true way-back-when but it's not true now. This goes both ways - I was told about the really friendly school, which was as far as I could tell no friendlier than other places; and on the other hand, I was warned about the school with the mean competitive people, which turned out to be very friendly and not mean at all (I think). So, meet with people, talk to them in person, and decide for yourself what your opinion is about each of the options you are considering.

Here are things I would consider now (and I have to admit I lucked out because I only considered some of them 5 years ago when I had to make the decision): - Fit with advisor, if it's a program where you mostly work with one person - Availability of (and fit with) at least two, preferably three, other faculty members with similar interests, who could serve on your dissertation committee and write you letters of recommendation for jobs, and might act as advisors if for whatever reason you end up not getting along with the person who at the moment you want to be your advisor. Famous people with many connections will help down the line. - Reputation of department, placement record - Friendly, collaborative environment that I feel comfortable in (goal here: department that you feel welcomed in, that has researchers that can support your work and later on support you when you go on the job market.) (this is very subjective. Visit all the schools you are considering, if at all possible. My impression of schools and my preferences shifted quite a bit following visits!) As a second tier, I'd consider the following additional issues - Activities, colloquia, opportunities to meet visitors and be exposed to work outside the department - Diverse research opportunities within the department - student-student collaborations, student-prof collaborations, availability of various methods/techniques/equipment/labs that you may want to get involved with, even if you aren't sure now - Opportunities for collaborations with researchers in other departments (goal here: allow yourself as many opportunities to grow as a researcher, learn new methods, become interested in other sub-fields, meet people and make connections. Many people change their concentration after some time in grad school. You can't know what will happen, so you want to have as many growth opportunities as you can.) Other factors I wouldn't decide based on but it's worth knowing about: - Travel funding - Opportunities for summer funding - Opportunities to gain extra teaching experience - Possibility of staying in school beyond the "normal" five years Also important to varying degrees and very personal: - Funding - Location PS: I would not put too much weight on what's trendy now when making a decision. Things could change drastically by the time you are on the job market 5-6 years from now. Choose according to what you think you want to do now, that also allows you reasonable growth options if that changes.

It's a process that starts when you first move away from home. There is the initial stage of getting set up in a new place, with all that it involves - e.g. finding an apartment, buying furniture, figuring out the transportation system in your new city, finding a local bank+grocery store,etc, finding a local doctor+dentist+hair dresser, etc, figuring out medical insurance and more. Then there is the daily life to figure out - getting a job or understanding how your stipend works if you are getting one, learning to budget yourself, buying groceries, doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, paying bills, doing your taxes. You just learn as you go along and at first there is a lot to take in and it can be quite intimidating, but once you learn to do it on your own, one day you wake up and realize you are an adult.

Once you're in a graduate program what you did in undergrad counts for less, and I'm not sure you want to compare yourself to people who got into a PhD program straight out of undergrad. As mop says, having strong letters of recommendation and some research experience is going to be very important. Additionally, you should finish the program with at least one strong research paper (or thesis) that you could use as a writing sample for your applications. Another thing you should be able to do at some point is get some of your work accepted to conferences and present it, maybe even write it up as a paper to submit to a journal (or at least to a conference proceedings). Some people also use an MA program to study additional courses in areas where they weren't strong enough in undergrad (language requirement, stats, etc), or they use it to move into a new/different subfield than the one they studied in undergrad. It's the research that counts--clubs, extracurriculars, and honor societies aren't going to be important.

My advice is first of all, to get out of this situation. Switch advisors or programs as soon as you can, to distance yourself from the situation. You are the one in the most vulnerable position out of everyone involved, and you are the likeliest to get hurt if this becomes known. As mentioned above, it's unfortunately possible that the department or university will try to cover it up, as this kind of misconduct has ramifications for others, their reputation, and their funding opportunities. If it does come out, again it may hurt you if your name is associated with this work. Furthermore, not being able to get a letter of recommendation from your advisor for future jobs will also raise a red flag in the eyes of some potential employers. And, if you unsuccessfully try and rattle the boat, you may create enemies for yourself that will talk about you behind your back and make it hard for you to advance in your career after you are done with your PhD (e.g. when applying for jobs, grants, submitting papers for review, etc.). All in all, you have little to gain and a lot to lose, so the sooner you leave and start over in another place, the better. Before you leave, gather evidence of the misconduct - documents, email correspondences, the original data and its correct analysis, the presentations in which the data or its analysis were misrepresented, etc. Once you leave you may not have access to this information, and therefore may not be able to prove the wrongdoing. Once you are out of the situation, you can discreetly try and find out how you might go about reporting this situation to someone. I'd start as was mentioned by asking the ombudsperson hypothetical questions. I would not bring it up with people from the department itself before involving someone external, since that would give the department an opportunity to cover its tracks instead of dealing with the problem. Whatever you do, you need to make sure you are protected. At the very least, you can request that your name be removed from any publications using the data, if not from your advisor then from the journal editor, as soon as you know that a paper has been submitted.

Pretty_Penny, I'm glad to hear that you have sought help both from a therapist and from your school. I have two thoughts regarding the conversation you need to have with your advisor. (1) Only talk about your needs, your feelings, etc. It's very difficult to argue with someone about what they feel or think, but it's much easier to object if someone tells you what (they think) is best for you. Tell your advisor you are leaving because you feel that's what is best for you. Don't tell her it's better for her as well, and don't apologize for the situation that you are leaving her in, at least not initially. She may get upset and bring it up herself, in which case you can say you're sorry about that but you have to do what's right for you. If she is (perhaps unexpectedly) supportive of your decision, then you can tell her that you feel bad about it but -- again -- you need to take care of yourself first, and you think that this is a necessary step. If she asks you what the problem is, you can say that your interests have shifted and are no longer aligned with hers, or (if that's hard to pull off) that you feel that her advising style is not right for you. Try and keep the conversation blame free, regardless of how you might truly feel. It'll help her save face and keep your relationship as intact as possible. It's best for you not to make an enemy out of her, even if you plan on never interacting with her again. (2) Practice the conversation with someone you trust, a therapist or a friend. Plan and rehearse the first couple of sentences you want to say--it's possible that they will be the only ones that go according to the script, but either way it'll help you get started with the conversation and get the most important things off your chest right at the start. Also practice your reactions to things you anticipate she might say, or questions she might ask. If you need to, write these things down. I think it's totally legit to take out notes for such an important conversation and tell her that you want to make sure you say what's on your mind, and you find this to be a difficult conversation. Please keep us posted about your situation. I hope things continue to improve!

Two things you need to find out are (1) whether your country has a tax treaty with the US, and (2) what is the source of your funding. If you are very lucky, your country has a tax treaty where non-service fellowships are tax exempt, and that's the kind of funding you have. Note: the funding source is a bureaucratic question relating to what "pool" the money is coming from; you need to ask your department's admin about it, it may or may not be related to what you are then required to do in exchange for the funding (e.g. for tax reasons, I've been on fellowship funding for all 5 years I've been in my program, even in years when I've TAed). But these kinds of treaties are somewhat rare, normally there is only an exemption for some amount of money and you pay taxes on the rest, which still means that you'll pay quite a bit in taxes. Until you know more, and since this is the case for most people, I would assume that you will pay taxes at the same rates as everybody else, and plan accordingly. It may very well be that you won't find out until it's time for you to do your taxes next year.

In that case I would work on and getting two strong academic LORs and later down the line I would see if it is possible to submit four letters instead of the required three, so you have two strong professional LORs and also two academic ones. My guess is that most schools should be happy with just two LORs from someone who has been out of school for as long as you have. But, as I said above, if you can get precise instructions from the schools you are interested in, that's better than my guesses