Oof I get it. Somehow, I feel a lot more motivated to apply after going to work, cause now I know how precious writing time is, especially with a freelance job with no fixed hours. It takes up most of my day to earn a decent sum. I know I could probably take time off to write, but there's always that nagging fear of what if? since it's not a stable, constant thing I can depend on. I certainly would like the stability of a program, especially if it comes with funding in the form of a scholarship or TA ship. I love my job xD but I love writing more.
I'm sorry if it's a jumble of incoherent, run-on sentences