LJK

Well why isn't it bread and butter or buttered bread? I think those are as normal of sandwich-independent concepts as a bagel with butter (actually more normal in my opinion, why would you put butter on a bagel when you could put cream cheese on it?)

For most people, PhD programs are year-round jobs - you often get offered only an academic year stipend but often programs find ways to fund you during the summer. Even if they can't pay you, you probably still want to stick around in the summer to get your research done while there aren't that many other distractions going on. So, a 12 month lease is the way to go. Personally, I like living with other grad students in a house close to campus, but not in the undergrad areas. I can walk to my building in less than 10 minutes. I have close friends to talk to every night who are going through similar hoops in their departments. I currently live with people who are students in other departments but 3 of them are in the same department and don't have a problem with that. I like the variety of people in my day but they can also come home and gossip about the people in their big department with each other which is nice too. I would say the biggest thing if you are going to live with roommates is to make sure that they can be respectful of a super stressed out grad student when needed. Grad school isn't something that can always be left at the office at the end of the day.

The funding guarantee or lack there of could also just be an artifact of the public/private divide. At public schools, sometimes there are state laws interfering with how money is handled. I was told at a UCal school that they are not able to make multi-year guarantees but that they plan to fund students for 5 years and would just accept less students if there came a choice between funding those there and getting a new cohort - an effective guarantee. My current dept. which is at a private university guarantees 5 years of funding to students coming in with a BA/BS and 4 years to students coming in with a MA/MS. There are no state laws interfering with that. I wouldn't be concerned if the students in the program are not concerned about the stability of their stipends. You will quickly learn once you are there whether things are straightforward, if anyone has fallen into a place where the stipend is less assured (year 6 perhaps?). Pay attention so you can avoid those pitfalls.

My undergrad friends and I have a long standing debate: Do two pieces of bread with butter in between count as a sandwich? It fits the 'any bread + filling' definition.

Both of your emails have an appropriate tone - they both come off as professional and reasonable. The only thing is I won't necessarily put the week time frame on it, maybe 'near future' instead to give yourself more wiggle room. Good Luck!

Maybe use it as an 'extra' recommendation? Have 3 that are freshly written, then explain this one at the end of your application - there is usually a spot to add notes to explain something that is out of the ordinary in your app.

I don't know much about social work and counseling programs (or anything at all really) so I won't weigh in on your possible paths. But, even staying within cognitive psychology, not much of my masters work will transfer to my phd program. They won't likely make me take the same courses over again (except for statistics, but everyone doing research psych should just take statistics over and over again until it is driven home). I may get a few credits, but more likely I will just take different courses than I would if I hadn't already taken graduate level courses. So, you needing to start back at the beginning is not strange or unique to the course of action you have.

Here are some things I am considering: Thinking about your interactions with your POIs, who do you think has an idea of who you are as a researcher? Knows what you are interested in? Knows where you are in your education and has an idea of how to support your growth from there? These are very abstract, but I feel like the two POIs I will be choosing between have given me very different impressions on these questions - one sees me, the other sees my past advisers and 'raw potential.' Also, how do you see yourself working, especially up front? With the POI whose lab is producing the theory and methodologies that you are interested in, you will have someone who is grounded in the theories and techniques that you want to become an expert in. With the other POI, you two will likely be learning to do this research along side each other. The POI will know how to be an expert, how to do quality research in the abstract, how to write a journal article, etc. but it sounds like they won't be an expert in what you want to be an expert in. That isn't necessarily a bad thing - it will force you to be more independent and to take greater charge of your education from the beginning. Mainly you should think about what mentor/mentee situation would be better for you. Where do you think you will be able to do the best research? For me this is a toss up because I see different opportunities at each school that could result in very different research. But in your case, if you think that you really truly want to do the sort of research that is coming out of one lab, is it likely that you will be able to do as awesome and exciting a version of that research without a whole group of people thinking about and working on similar problems? I guess the thing there is how many people will you have to talk to about your research in depth in the lab that does things that are a bit different from the research you want to do?

You don't get to go to a school extra by saying yes well before April 15th. There is absolutely no harm in waiting to hear from your other school - if April 15th rolls around and you haven't heard from the other school, you can accept the one you have an offer to. If April 13th comes around and you have already said yes to the school you are currently admitted to, should the other school send you a late acceptance, then you can't do anything about it without potentially burning bridges. Sitting on an offer that you have a real possibility of taking is a smart thing to do in your situation! Waiting sucks, but don't make a commitment just to make one.

If you accept both, you run the risk of the acceptance to both being rescinded for unethical behavior. Your best course of action is to go to the professors at the unfunded program and make it clear that you would like to go there, but you can't pass up a funded offer by the other school for no funding at their school. They then have the chance to pony up some funding or not. If they can't do it by the April 15th deadline (I presume) for your other offer, go with the funded program. But again, accepting two schools is not all right and may backfire big time.

Normal TA/RA & fellowship money is taxable. There are certain funds that come directly from federal agencies that is not taxable income, but these are by far the exception and if you get put on such a fellowship your school will let you know. The stipend is your pay - there is no restriction that I know of on how you spend it just like any other job, so paying down loans is more than acceptable.

It is not impolite - that you are concerned about these things will indicate to him that you know what grad school is about and have an idea about what you want from an advisor/advisee relationship. Those are positive things! He is going to be going through a major life change, since presumably he has been teaching for the past 3+ decades of his life. He probably won't know all the answers about how he will be dealing with those changes, but if he is a true researcher, he is likely to stay very involved and may even be more involved than someone who is mid-career and has teaching/committee/children/etc. responsibilities. I regularly cite a researcher who is still active in his 80s! Ask! The answers to these questions have a huge impact on your graduate education. I would also talk to the secondary advisor to make sure that you can get along with him/her.

Very practical I think that it would be fine to send an email to your POI or to the DGS indicating that you are interested and would really like to hear back one way or the other from them before making your final decision before April 15th (if you have other options). They have no idea who on their waitlist is waiting to hear with baited breathe and who is basically discounting them since it wasn't an admit or who is waiting on multiple lists and likes other schools better, etc. I think it could only help to send a short email indicating that you would seriously consider an offer should they be able to make one.

I don't know that he won't be attending conferences or won't be publishing - did he tell you that? Some faculty take retirement as an end to teaching, not an end to research. I would think that would be the case with this professor since he still wants to take on a new student. But those are the sorts of questions you should ask him. Does he have any current students? Raise your concerns with them as well and see how they project things will go after his retirement. Also, even young faculty don't necessarily accompany their students to every conference - I just attended one where my advisor was there but two other graduate students were sans advisors for their co-authored posters.

You haven't signed anything and even if you had, it is not April 15th. You are perfectly within your rights to take the interview. If nothing else, you will meet people and make connections at a university close to the one you are attending (should it be either one) and proximity is helpful for collaborations. You didn't lie - you had the intent to sign the acceptance at the time you said it, but pre-April 15th you can ethically explore your options. Now if you decide to go with the other school, the original school might not be pleased but it's your future, figure out what you want.

If you are truly ready to commit, reply to that email saying so and ask if there is anything else you need to do, I'm sure they will be happy to guide you through their school's process. Congratulations on your acceptance and your decision!

chaospaladin - you seem to have missed the main idea of this thread - its not about asking why you were rejected but about why you were accepted. It is buried in the title but the first post and the post you responded to clearly explain the situation. Silent_Bobina, I think asking "Why me?" is innately humble. Assuming you know why you are awesome is more pompous to my mind. It is not bragging to honestly inquire why they think you are cool - many, many of the applicants to top programs are intimidatingly awesome. I have simply phrased it "Why me?" I think it is straightforward and direct. I didn't get responses about how I am clearly the coolest person ever and will be an awesome sauce leader of my field in the future. I got responses that highlighted why I am a bit different from other applicants and how my bringing that perspective to their lab would be interesting to them. These are things that are a product of my educational choices, not some superior skill that I can brag about. Anyway, hope that helps.

I actually have been asking this - once after being admitted with a fellowship but to a professor other than I would have matched myself with, and once at an interview. I think that it is a perfectly legitimate question and can be very informative. I don't know that they will tell you about who fought for you on the adcomm (it seems a little like privileged information to me), but they will probably tell you what characteristics made you stand out from the crowd as an applicant.

It totally is awkward! How to phrase 'well, you were the easiest to decide against' nicely is really hard! I think pointing out your concern for other applicants is a good way to save face a bit. Anyway, hope it goes well!

I would send an email to your POI or the grad director - whoever you would like to ask questions of to see if they will be around. If you just show up they might be too busy, not having planned for you. Also, it is spring break season - if they are on spring break, who is in the department vs. traveling vs. simply working a home will vary significantly. Even the 24 hour notice might get you a better visit than dropping in out of the blue.

I am currently living on less that $19,000 a year and have even managed to save up ~$4000 over the last 4 months for my move and my paycheck gap as I transition to a phd program. Whether this is possible really depends on cost of living. I currently live in a low cost-of-living area and live with roommates in a very nice house. My rent ends up being ~$450 a month with an extra $100 put into our general utilities account most months - so housing for me is about $6,500 (overestimate). I own my car without car payments at this point so am just paying car insurance ~$120 a month so thats an additional $1500 (again over estimation). I probably average $50 in gas a month so thats $600 (I live walking distance to campus). I probably average $200 in groceries a month, ~$2,400. So with these essentials I am up to $11,000. Being a 20-something I am able to get away with staying on my parent's family plan for my phone (I'm not upgrading to a smartphone b/c I would have to pay), and until I'm 26 I can stay on my parents insurance, so I do have some help. But I have about $8000 here that is 'unclaimed' by the essentials allowing me to eat out semi-regularly, to take small vacations, to buy clothes and home goods on occasion - if I wanted to sacrifice a bit of that or not be saving I could probably afford the smart phone. Depending on location, it is possible. Some sacrifices might need to be made - live in a less nice apartment than you are used to, get a roommate to afford the nicer place, etc. Coming straight from undergrad, $19,000 is the most I have ever made and it is easy to continue my habits of not spending that much on non-essentials. I realize for you, coming from the opposite where you are used to making much more than that and being able to spend money on non-essentials it will be a much harder transition. Advice from the 'get out of debt' segments on shows like Today and Good Morning America I use as stay out of debt advice. I pay close attention to my budget and what I spend a few dollars on here, a few dollars on there. A Starbucks coffee or tea is simply not worth the money on a grad student's salary - invest in a quality coffee maker at home and even at the office if that is a vice of yours. Bag lunch regularly instead of buying. I don't know your spending habits at all, but I've noticed that we collectively spend a lot of money on convenience - not having to make lunch the night before, not needing to keep a coffee bean supply at home, taking the first good apartment rather than doing the legwork to find an equally good and cheaper one, stopping at the gas station along our fastest route and not driving the extra half a mile to save, etc. Living on the cheap is a mindset, $5 and $10 purchases have to be debated rather than thought of as change - even $2 purchases if the budget is tight enough. Anyway, that's how I get by - hope that helps.

I am currently doing a psych MS and I think what you are saying makes sense. While you are being paid for 20-hrs a week, I have found that most professors think of it as being paid to be a grad student and get your own stuff done too. When an RA, there were weeks that I worked 20 hours or more but I would say I averaged 15 - I had my own research (different lab so it wasn't included in my RA), the classes I was taking, etc. As long as you are upfront with your advisor and especially if you are willing for there to be some give and take - letting you know in advance which weekends it would be helpful for you to stick around, etc. - it should be fine. Weekends should be optional- I've found most professors realize that. I also think realizing that the MA is an option is a helpful thing for mental health - you don't have to get into the 'phd or bust' mentality right away, feel the water, figure out what you want to do. If you love it, keep going - if you don't, get out, but do it as respectfully as possible, i.e. let the prof know before the admissions round so s/he can get a replacement, keep working on your projects up until you leave, etc.

While I get what you are saying about this being a prof's 'side interest' rather than main interest, that can be sufficient if the prof is in a big department where they have a number of grad students - one or two working on the side interest keeps it alive. If you study any area of cognition - language, memory, attention, etc. you need to learn about the others and how they contribute to the portion of cognition you are most interested it - we only have one brain each, there is lots of interaction between these 'different' processes. I would suggest going through abstracts of the Psychonomics and Cognitive Science conferences to see who presents research having to do with music cognition - conference abstracts tell you the latest complete work coming out of a professor's lab, work that may not be on their website or in their official description of their interests. My feeling is that there is growing interest in music cognition in the field, though I may be mistaken.

I agree. If this is your top choice, communicate that to this professor. He wants to be upfront - there is no guarantee and the spot would be straightforwardly to work with him. That wasn't the case when you last spoke and he wants to make sure that the new situation would still be of interest to you. If you know this is where you want to go, even with those changes, tell him. If you would seriously consider such an offer but you will need to weigh your options after receiving all offers, you can say that too. I would be honest with this professor as he is being straightforward and honest with you.

If you are on a fellowship that is directly from a federal agency like NIH or NSF, it *could* be tax-free depending on how the money is setup. I know a grad student who has such a fellowship now. But generally, as people have been saying, grad money is taxable.