Scribe

exactly this. I've been a ditchdigger for almost 25 years. i went to school at night and on weekends so I'd have a degree when i retire this summer. i was a laborer and a college student. what will i be now? i was going to be a grad student.

I've been waitlist in three places but hard rejected in 5. Then there's Vandy, NC, and now NYU. It doesn't look good for a bunch of others for a few reasons, the least of which is recommender failure. None of the school's i've been waitlisted at offer livable, or even close to livable money. And the big deal is, i have 18 schools left to hear from and do not feel confident at all. So despite the waitlists, I feel as you do. I applied to 27 schools because i want this so badly. and i'll take anywhere. I'm running out of time. i think this year, this first year of applying is it for me. i've been really happy for everyone and i REFUSE to shit on anybody's tomatoes. I think encouraging others helps a lot but sometimes i feel like a fraud. i'm telling the truth to everyone else but i cannot convince myself. and maybe we have something else in common; maybe how we feel comes from somewhere else inside and not because of the scoreboard under our names.

hey, has anyone who got that weird stony brook email heard back?

I applied but have no idea about anything. like, at all.

Okay. Now I’m just sick.

Joyce Carol Oates and Ocean Vuong are why.

YESSSS!!!! congratulations! this makes me super happy. also, i hate you.

I just want to take a moment to say that I've done my best to be as supportive to others as they've been to me. I think my greatest failure in this regard has been in not reaching out to everyone individually to congratulate or encourage. Still, this is a sin of laziness, at worst neglect. Where active effort is concerned, I believe all of my posts have been positive or supportive. If there is something I have said or done to upset anyone, it wasn't my intention. still, I stand by my efforts to help make a better world and to contribute to this board in a positive way. It is a wonderful place and i want to be a part of it.

I applied for fiction. Congratulations. It seems a unique program geared toward both practicality and the art of the work.

Whew! So glad you found that out. I’m sure it’s a load off. either way, it’s a good problem to have. congratulations!

This will do wonders for my anxiety.

Fantastic. Congratulations!

What I should have said was “schools that are likely to offer full funding”. I was under the impression that if a school wasn’t on the list, it would be next to impossible to go. At a pretty late stage I had one Professor tell me to apply the NYU because they have a lot of money and often give it away. Another told me Columbia wouldn’t offer full funding but a free ride was quite possible. On my own I discovered that hunter’s a free ride with a likely possibility of a ta or ra spot. then I watched people here or on draft get offers from schools that weren’t on my radar. maybe someone should make a list.

Jesus Vandy. Take your time.

This. thank you so much.

So, I don't exactly know what your fears are but my experience with black women tells me it's safety. There are a few things you should know. one is that these are college towns and that makes a huge difference. If it's emotional safety, you may be unpleasantly surprised anywhere, but you may not. In a small town upstate a few years ago a friend of mine would not walk into a diner before i did. I hadn't noticed her fear, possibly because my hackles were up already. every other vehicle was a pickup, there was feed store nearby, architecture that had once been stark in line and pretty in color, and a fellow at the counter in a John Deere hat. Driving through the town on the way home we say a banner three quarters of a block long, "Black Lives Matter". I was a little ashamed of myself. Don't let fear hold you back. I first read this as though you were surprised at the sudden realization you were a black woman. I'm on the East Coast. There are dickheads everywhere. And there's a lot of love too.

Now that it looks like I'm going at this without an MFA, tell me more. and thank you.

I almost certainly will not be applying again. BUT if I do, just in case, I'm working on a list of rules. 1. 2 year programs only. I was willing to do three, so if i go again I'm going to only do two and not lose time. 2. I will do more research and look at more than just fully funded programs. I now realize there are many programs that are very likely fully funded. 3. I will consider access to home more. I did this year but still went for schools that reduced my ability to be home every weekend. 4. I'll sell myself a little less and my writing goals a little more. I'm totally open to - nay, I'm shamelessly soliciting - any advice or criticism from the peanut gallery.

Yeah maybe. I don’t know how enforceable it is but let us know what you find out.

You listen and listen good! You Are Killing It. Now, I get it. It's more than uncertainty. There's a feeling that even if you didn't put your eggs in one basket, all those baskets are on one wagon - 2024. Is this really it? I'm not talking about the disappointment, i'm talking about the idea that this year is it? Is it? No. So at least as far as that goes, you're in the same boat you were before you heard from anyone. You're second guessing. your seattle story was written and sent out before now. you've known for months. What changed? nothing. you're still killing it. (Is UDub a nickname for Seattle? I wish i knew that before i applied there!) You have me a little worried because I tried to mention at least one faculty member wherever I could. One of us is right, one of us not so much. Nothing to do now. If you count up the letters in the first sentence of my Columbia SOP and divide by two, that is exactly where you'll find my typo. It's right there in the mathematical middle. I knew Columbia was out that night. Ugh. Yes, the soft "r" is a special hell. I'm with you, even the unimaginable maybe yes/maybe no. I didn't think it could be worse than an unranked waitlist. Wrong again. I suck. You don't. If next year comes and I find myself doing this again, and it would take a LOT for that to happen, there won't be second guessing. There won't be fear. There won't. I know this doesn't really help much, not when you're living it, but you are not your MFA.

Did they sign the GCS april 15 resolution?

ugh. staring down the barrel of six soft rejections. Iowa, NWP, Vandy, UCR, New Mexico, and NCSU. Just pull the fucking trigger already people! Look, i know there are a few moonshots in there and that I've known for a while but COME ON! rip the band aid off. I'm shivering at the thought of what the next two weeks look like. i feel like i can only steel myself so much and then one day I'm Going to have a dozen or more rejections in my box at the same time. I need a win.

Going to the circus.

man, i should have tried but so many made it seem like it was over before i could try. Vandy waived me automatically though.

Aaaaand there's a fiction acceptance for New Mexico posted on draft. another r for me.